You are here /wrestling
Guest Columns





I was at the Friendly Tap!

The ACOLYTES were in there!!

I'm gonna be famous!! MARK MARK MARK!!

Ah, hell. Enough of that.

I was back in Providence this past weekend having great sex, and yes, I did end up being taken to teh Friendly Tap, where as you might remember, the Acolytes have been twice to start bar fights.

Although I couldn't get in since I'm only twenty, I got to stand in front of the door and have a picture taken with me posing rather disgustingly with a thumb up in the air and a tourist smile. (I am a tourist. I am CANADIAN. Boo-yah on all your mothers.)

When the film gets developed, and if I look like a fox in the pictures, then perhaps it is's see me..... or maybe not.

Be good to me, get on your knees and be useful with your skills, and we'll see.

I am CyanIndigo, one of the more twisted talents on this site (talent is right, I dominate each and every one of you) and yes, there is wrestling in this column. There's also a little bitching, a little theorizing, and some sexual puns and innuendos. Lots of fun, I'm telling you, although a little shorter than usual since my medication is starting to wear off and the maiming urges are coming back (hey, I'm in Canada, can you blame me?)

Bear with me. I am in a screwy mood. Must be all that bad 80's music I was forced to listen to. (Secret slam!)

And on a side note, I'd like to say sorry for being unresponsive to fan mail, it's been one hell of an interesting week. and very tiresome. I appreciate it all, so don't stop writing., my little troopers! All mail will be accompanied by a cookie of your choice.


May I primarily say that I am right pissed off at the WWF for making the object of my obsession lose his Intercontinenntal belt this past Sunday..

Chris Jericho lost the belt, and if you ask around, you might get an estimaton of how many holes I punched into walls when I found out on the Net. (thank god I didn't actually get the PPV, there might have been permanent damage to my painter boyfriend......not good......nope, I can't elimate my [slash] competition so obviously......)

Why in the hell was it necessary to give two belts to Kirk Angel? Although I'm quite aware that the European belt is a piec e of unrecognized tin, it's still gold. Was it necessary? Did it do anything but tick me off, and give another reason for the fans to dislike him? And a reason for Jericho to be put over even more as a face?

Did I just make sense of the belt exchange?

On a related side note, it's come to my attention that there is a population of people who disliked the dance sequence that Chyna, Jericho, Too Cool and Rikishi performed on RAW. A couple of words: lighten up. I found it hilarious. Chyna has no rhythm, Jericho is a complete grinning loser sometimes, and it was some needed silliness. It's wrestling, people, and these days, this is what you get. So relax a little. It's just yet another way to get Jericho over as a face.

A few words for Mick Foley.

I got emotioanal (damn feminine hormones) when I saw that video tribute to him. Although I personally don't like the song "I will Remember You" by Sarah MacLachlan, and it felt a little cheesy to see wrestling to it, I got emotional. Mick Foley is one of very few wrestlers I can say that I completely love and adore. Even more so, since I just finished his book on this past Monday, one long travelling day, and I can say that that piece of work kept me from having a breakdown.

No, I'm not exagerating, but nor will you get details on the matter.

He's a great guy from all accounts I've heard, he's the unexpected hero, the master of psychological experimentation, and the most unorthodox athlete I've ever seen. I'm going to miss him heartily. Here's hoping that he works for the WWF in some capacity. I personally believe that he'd do great helping to script matches: he knows what the fans like, he has an ear (bad pun) for dialogue, he knows the guys, he knows this business.

Just a thought.


Although Crash Holly is an exceptional wrestler, he's not hardcore.

Ah, the reminising of old tactics. Case in point: the re-enactment of the flamethrower usage on Kane. HHH did it in '98 dressed as Goldust, and now X-Pac as well. If that face was burnt to a crisp before, it's half formed now.

You know, with that pyro spewing bazooka that Chyna fires off during her could say she has a flaiming orgasm with every show..... or maybe that's just my deprived, perverted mind talking.


May I say a hearty SCREW YOU to the idea of the main event at Wrestlemania being HHH vs. the Big Show, and I say a hearty FUCK YOU to the rumours circulating that it might be a three way dance between HHH, the Big Show and the Rock. There is nothing worse than a triple threat match, and if that's the main event this year, I'm eating a bullet.

Michaelangelo will hold my hand and join me, I'm sure, along with countless others.

The Hardys are the new poster boys for the WWF. Nude shots a la Shawn Michaels, anyone? I wouldnt be surprised, what with the amount of girlish shrieks we hear from teh crowd every time a shirt is removed. Not that they're not great wrestlers, with that nifty "Twist of fate" neckbreaker they're using.

"I have invented a man-oo-ver!"

And a little smile in their favour for going over the Acolytes on RAW this week. Some might call it an upset, but I say it's justified. And now with the belts off of the New Age, hm..... here's hoping.

You know, it genuinely surprises me that the team of Al Snow and Steve Blackman is getting over so subtley and well as they are.

I believe the match of the night could have been given to Chris Benoit vs. Tazz....... if not for the asinine interference of the Big Boss Man and that walking reason to turn lesbian, Prince Albert.

Although Perry Saturn did take on Chris Jericho in singles competition, he's still associated with Dean Malenko as part as a tag-team...... yes, already. Is this what he wanted?

I don't care to make sense of the whole DX turning on Billy Gunn thing. Degeneration X died for me back in 1998, I couldn't give a shit if the four men decided to have an orgy on LIVE TV.

Make sense of this for me: Viscera splashes Mae Young with all of his 500 lbs; she's fine and the "baby" is fine. Mae Young does a weak-ass splash on Crash Holly, and she goes into labour. Whatever.

And giving birth to a sticky, dripping hand..... lovely. Really nice, guys, thanks a bunch for that image.

That's about it from me, this sticky chiquita. Mail can be sent to if you feel the urge.

Sorry about the shortness of it all, I promise that my stamina is much higher in other areas.

Ciao. Keep your spit to yourself.

Seduction Artist for Hire

Mail the Author



Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission