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X-Pac's ego is single-handly ruining [the WWF]!! - Chris Hyatte

I couldn't agree more.



Greetings y'all!

I'm moving again, so excuse the short nature of the following column.

It still follows the same format that I tried out last week: a collection of rumours that I scrouged up and slapped together for your entertainment purposes, a couple of comments here and there, and letters from all you fans to tie it up.

By the time this is posted, I'll be elsewhere, and living with one instead of four.


Oh, why not. For the nostaglic ones......



In WCW news, talk of Roddy Piper being let go is looking less likely than it originally seemed. Why? It turns out that in order for WCW to be rid of Piper, they're going to have to buy out the last few months of his contract, since Piper has some sort of clause built it that prevents any dicking-around and letting him go for whatever reason. Already it's being said that he's been let go by some sites, but don't count on it yet.

I found this interesting: you know how WCW is apparently losing millions of dollars every year due to loss of viewers, wrestler's contracts and such, and they need to figure out ways to cut back? In a recent budget review, it was discovered that NO ONE supervises the internet / merchandise / licensing department, and as a result of it, money is flying out the door for the most surprising projects. The Internet WCW show "hacked in" turns out to be costing $75, 000 per show.

Triple H, despite worry from WWF officials, has NO PLANS to take time off from regular WWF shows, despite his pinched back nerve and severely bruised elbow. Instead, he's agreed to shorter matches and "loose" opponents (not that kind) Means wrestlers who are easy to work with and can do offensive without actually hurting someone, no "stiffs".

The teasing of the Stephanie MacMahon / Triple H marriage break-up will continue, and currently ideas are being tossed around as to how to handle it. The two most talked about: 1) A second HHH vs. Chris Jericho match (possibly at SummerSlam) with Stephanie the reward for the winner. 2) HHH leaves Stephanie for Trish "Scary-Boob" Stratus, thus sliding Stef into the face position.

Also, ideas for Wrestlemania 2001 are already being thrown around. The main event? Quite possibly Chris Benoit vs. HHH, with HHH taking the form of the babyface. This is assuming that Stone Cold Steve Austin can return to ring action and also headline with a re-match against the Rock (which leads me to believe Austin's heading for a heel turn upon his return)

Looks like the "GoodFather" might be around to stay. The WWF wants to see if the former Godfather can get over as a heel as a member of the PTC-imitator group of Steven Richards and Bull Buchannan. If not, then there's a chance that they might throw him back into the Godfather character, but for the moment, it's here to stay.

The newest idea on this particular gimmick concerns Dean Malenko, who very well might be slotted to take over the "Godfather" role.

On a related note, the Acolytes are to feud with the "RTA" (said group mentioned) over the next few weeks. The Godfather's abandoned ho's might hire the Acolytes for protection against Steven Richards and his group.

Contrary to previous belief, the "ho" twins seen a few weeks ago with the Godfather were NOT the infamous twins that the WWF just hired, Elaine and . They are being geared for more signifigant roles.

Once again, the Undertaker is complaining of injuries. After returning from his honeymoon, he's talking about how his back and elbows are giving him trouble, and once AGAIN, it's looking like he might be given a less-extensive work schedule.

NOTE: Know what I say? I think it's the aftermath of the honeymoon sex that's causing him problems, considering he weighs so much and who knows what the girl does. Missionary means not crushing your bride, dont'cha know.

The WWF is worried about Val Venis's inability to get over, and the fact that nothing seems to be working. The next step looks to be slating the ex-Valbowski against Eddie Guerrero at SummerSlam; Trish Stratus may be dumping Test and Albert to help the viewers focus moreso on Val's single career.

Could the reason why Perry Saturn hasn't been pushed heavily upon his entrance to the WWF be because he hasn't formed a bond with Vince MacMahon? Could be. While Chris Benoit is shining, the other three are rumoured to be having second-thoughts about jumping from WCW. Dean-o says he's happy to have had one chance to work with the Vinne Mac, while Eddie worries that with old injuries re-surfacing and causing problems, he'll be looked at as "injury-prone" and have his push decreased (for those who don't know, Eddie Guerrero was involved in a serious car accident a few years back while still employed with World Championship Wrestling)

On a related note, Eddie Guerrero has a very good chance of taking the Intercontinental belt from Val Venis. It's expected that if Chyna vs. Perry Saturn is made for SummerSlam, Chyna will put Saturn over, since in the backstage area, people believe that it would look "bad."

Tazz's reputation backstage is one of paranoid, as he is consistantly worried that his "look and style" will be stolen from someone else. Ribs (jokes) are played on him just to get a reaction.

Ric Flair is slated to return in October. Billy Gunn has been cleared to wrestle on Sept. 24th.

Vince Russo was served "legal" papers by Hulk Hogan, stemming from the incident at the Bash at the Beach and the comments that Russo made on live PPV. Apparently, notice was given that within 72 hours of the "shoot" comments, Russo must retract them or else be served. Well, he never did.

NOTE: Maybe I shouldn't be reporting it, but I think it's bullshit. Why? Apparently, in the non-aired shoot interview that Vince Russo recorded for THUNDER, he makes comments about these Hogan legal papers. Standard rule: if it's mentioned on TV, it's a work. They're still trying to convince us.

The WWF is being sued.... AGAIN..... this time by the World Wildlife Federation (you know, with the little panda?) for copyright infringement. The animal kind of WWF tried this back in 1994 with no success, and apaprently it was the change of the WWF symbol that brought back the claims of infringement. Good bloody luck on getting a cent.

It's "old", but still worth commenting on. At a recent production meeting, Lillian Garcia spoke up for the first time, and commented that Trish Stratus shouldn't be involved in strap matches, considering the welts that arose on Trish's back after one. Other wrestlers told Garcia to "stick to her singing" and brought her to tears. Shane MacMahon took her aside and told her she was being foolish, since any WWF superstar can and will get welts and bruises and such.

NOTE: This ticks me off for some reason, the way this was handled.

For one thing, it was Lillian's concern showing through, not ignorance. Sure, wrestlers get hurt, but valets have to be a bit more careful, considering they're not built and toughened for ring action. Big difference between what should be expected of a valet and of a wrestler. And even so, if Trish wants to take the risk, there's no need for mockery. Maybe Lillian should leave her real-life friendship with Trish in the background and stick to business.... maybe not.

It's the girl in me coming through, or maybe the nazi-bitch, but I'd want to kick the WWF between the legs for acting like that.

I bet I could catch Shane-o-Mac. He runs like a girl, after all.

LETTERS!!! (questions in normal print and numbers, answers in Italic.)

1) "Great column (and I'd say that even if you hadn't wrote it at my urging). For example, I don't read Sports Illustrated (except when I'm at the barber shop and the last time I was there I read Maxim for a great article on, uh, um, urg, okay I just looked at the pictures) so I would never have known that about Chyna and Triple H. Bully for them. I bet in real life they make a great couple and I'd rather they kept it off stage. The stuff with Kidman/Tori and David Flair/Ms.Hancock bothers me on one level because I know that in real life they also have real relationships. I prefer my fake wrestling to also have fake love too, dammit. Besides, I love Chyna and Eddie together." - Clyde Ford

Surprisingly enough, so do I. I think Eddie and Chyna surprised everyone at how popular they've turned out to be. Originally, their pairing was only supposed to last a few weeks.

I don't read Sports Illustrated. But I read Maxim. I find it amusing the kind of advice men give other men.

2) "A Doctor Strange reference? Dear God! Tell Mikey I'm sorry, but you just blew him, along with the rest of [slash], out of the water for making two comic book references in my rather limited span of memory. That fucking owns, as Rosser would put it. Good lord, that rocks. You rock the party that rocks the body, Cyan. You a comic book fan?" - Boon

Although I'm not keen on Dr. Strange, I sure am a comic fan. I don't read as much as I did before (every X-book you can think of) now I stick to a few here and there like SiP, some of the CrossGen newbies, Batman, Aria, etcs. Depends how much money I have; comics get fucking expensive when you buy a bunch.
Try and figure out the new reference, if you like.

3) -And the only thing I'll reveal about the missing painter is the reason why on occasion he needs a good knock on the head.

So what are you saying? He lost his smile? Get the lazy so-and-so back on the computer and get him writing. He was good, and I think everyone, up to and including himself, knows he is good.

Well, you are too. In fact, the column you two did together was one of my favorties. WAY better than the "Oooo look at his body!!!" one the other two chicks did. Keep up the good work." - The Critic2K "Saving the world, one puff at a time"

Wow, someone actually liked that joint column Michaelangelo and I did? Outstanding.

Trust me, he thinks he's good too. <grin>

Be warned, little ones. Now that I'm moving, my mail and his mail will be read by the signifigant other quite frequently.

So be good. No marriage proposals, or you might get flogged.

Or I might. Yikes.

That's it for me. Mail goes to It's all read, and if you're lucky you'll get a mail back. Whoop!

Keep it unreal.

[slash] wrestling
"We Would Have Words With Thee"

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission