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No one is talking about that freaking horrible display that those two put on. How could you people let that pass?! After watching a match that was literally painful to watch, I check the internet for reactions and all I see is: Tank is gone, Tank is buried, the killed Tank, Sid went over huge...blah, blah, blah, blah. I wish these esteemed internet columnists would just once get off their hard on for workrate, angles, etc. (which of course, the average fan doesn't give a damn about) and get to the point. THE MATCH FUCKING SUCKED!!!!!

I don't usually get to see all of the shows during the week so on Monday, despite WCW's innate ability to create terrible shows, I still manage to catch the 2 hours of Nitro. OK, so I only enjoy the first half in its entirety before 9 pm when RAW IS WAR comes on USA. But I always try to catch the main event, if for nothing else than just to see what the major angles are going to be going into Thunder. After hearing all the rumors, and seeing big, fat Tank come out on his bike, I thought for once that WCW bookers might try to actually shock the common fan by having Tank go over Sid. What I saw almost blew my mind:

Tank: (punch to the ribs) Come on Sid!

Sid: AWWWWWWWW, OWWWWWWWWWWWW, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yeah right there, oh, Tank, that's the spot right there, oh yeah, knead it in baby, knead it in...oh go under the tape...that's a gooood boy.

Tony Shavonni (yeah yeah, I KNOW OK?): Fans, Sid shouldn't even be out here, the doctors have warned him to stay away from strenuous activity, particularly any wrestling with UFC fighters who have won every single match they've been in with knockout punches. OK, so he didn't say that.

Tank: (punch to ribs) Come on Sid!

Sid: (I suck so bad that even my selling is lazy...even though I lost to Goldberg twice and Nash, Scott Hall, Jeff Jarrett and Chris Benoit, I'm still good enough to let Tank kick my ass even with taped ribs and lingering effects from a concussion). Holy crap? I didn't say that out loud did I? Did that even make sense? Oh yeah, it doesn't matter, I'm the CRAZY guy.

Tony: Oh my GOD! Sid popped up out of nowhere. Crippler Crossface? Uh, yeah, Crippler Crossface! He tapped? Was that SUPPOSED to happen? Is Tank doing Sullivan's wife or something?

After maybe five minutes of punch, talk trash, punch, talk trash from Tank Abbott and screams and moans from Sid, we see a pitiful ass finish where he can't even put the damn move on right. It didn't even look painful when he did finally lock it on. What it ended up looking like was Sid playing a game of peekaboo with Tank while Tank's hand drifted off into Sid's legs to do...who knows what. Yet all these columnists, recappers, etc., who will bitch with no hesitation about a Triple H match with the deadly knees to the head, said NOTHING about Sid and Tank. Meltzer is talking about how Tank got buried. Wade: Oh, Tank is gone. Bob Ryder and Fatty Madden are talking about the match took place too soon with no buildup but it must have been entertaining since it IS getting votes on Why don't they just admit that the votes are rigged? Do they think we are that stupid? Was that really not (easily) THE worst match of the entire year? I mean, how can anyone miss that? Are you recappers afraid to point it out? CRZ (I was just waiting for him to do it, but he just lets it pass, going soft...must be those Thunder recaps diluting the hate!), Hyatte (after 300 pages with 1 or 2 actual matches, various personal threats, inside jokes, rants and....wait, did he even recap this show? Hyatte and continuity go together like WCW and Hummer)...what about whoever the hell does it on Rantsylvania? What about the reporters? Samuda? Scherer? Meltzer? Why the hell is anyone taking the match seriously, talking about the angle when the match sucked so bad that the angle is irrelevant? The only wrestling MOVE in the whole match was that sloppy ass crippler crossface at the end! But no one notices that! No one points it out! I don't want a deep analysis of the psychological dimensions of the angle as it played out over Nitro and the timing of the match and what possible ramifications that the ending may have for the future. The point that everyone apparently missed was: the match sucked. Not only was it the worst match of the new year, it was probably the worst match for the whole year (dating back to February 1999). It might have been the worst match I have ever personally witnessed on television...maybe...could there be any worse? Sid sucks but everyone already know that. At least he has that "Hulk Hogan" look that promoters think fans cream over. But Tank? Tank has a potbelly even though he is a *cough* vicious UFC fighter (I mean, look at all those titles under his belt from that period!) who can bench well over 500 pounds. He couldn't perform a wrestling move if someone jumped into his arms just asking to be slammed. Did I mention that he is fat? Oh yeah, he also isn't a gimmick ripoff of Ken Shamrock and a physical ripoff of Jim Neidhart. Nope, he certainly isn't. Tank is his own man. Stinking it up like no one could at the moment. Tank makes Viscera look like a mixture of Bruce Lee, Jimmy Snuka, Super Dave, and that rubber band guy from Guinness Book of World Records. What a clown. I could have thumb wrestled myself and pulled off a better match than that one.. Blech.

And this was supposed to be about internet columnists and recappers. Oh well.


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