You are here /wrestling
Guest Columns





He is just big boned.

Seriously though, I recently had the pleasure (can you call it that?) of reading Madden's latest articles on I'm sure most of you have seen it or at least seen someone making fun of it. The highlights:

  • He goes over the usual: he is living every 'smarks' dream
  • He gets to hang out with the guys (yeah right)
  • He doesn't care about what the internet says (but he spends all of his articles attacking them)
  • And finally, the Radicals are still in the same spot that they were in in WCW.

    This last point I felt that must address. Clearly, on this point, Madden has proven that he has little if no brain functionality left. In WCW, the Radicalz had no opportunity to advance. No veteran was ever going to let the Radicalz win the decisive match in a feud. Even though Benoit finally did win the belt at the last PPV, it is evident that the victory was one of necessity, brought about because of the internal problems and widespread injuries. Under normal circumstances Benoit wouldn't have touched gold for years. In the WWF however, Vince McMahon has allowed the Radicalz to freely interact with his top wrestlers. Imagine Benoit pinning Goldberg in a match? Im-fucking-possible in WCW, no matter who was in charge. But in the WWF Benoit had a comparable victory over the Rock, the most visible pro wrestler in the country. Every Radical with the exception of Saturn has a belt and they are all involved in fairly interesting feuds instead of battles with over the hill plumbers.

    Another point that Madden mentioned was the fact that Eddie G. is now selling like crazy for Chyna. He says this as if it is a bad thing. Jeff Jarrett would NOT be in the position he is in now in WCW if it weren't for his woman hating gimmick and his matches with Chyna. He probably wouldn't even BE in WCW. Just because Chyna is a woman doesn't mean that she can't be taken seriously. Chyna is reportedly 200 pounds of pure muscle and she is over six feet tall. Chyna is easily more intimidating than say, Road Dogg, X-Pac, Stevie Richards, Mankind (a big fat guy who gets beaten bloody until the person gets tired? ha!), Scotty Too Hotty...etc. Double J was doing much better selling for a huge woman than flabby over the hill wrestlers. I would rather sell to her than a flabby ex-steroid abuser who is pushing 50 (Hogan) or just a flabby bastard never had a physique already over 50 (Flair, Funk). And Madden says absolutely NOTHING about Big Show, who HAS held the belt. Big Show was nothing more than a glorified mid carder in WCW, a wrestler used merely as a tool for Hogan to show that he could still beat big guys. DDP beating Big Show? Please. Madden is a fool (as if that needed to be said).

    On another note, I want to respond to Zed Our See, who wrote an email about my last column that made fun of Wrestlemania. That article is right here The email he sent was from a fake address so I couldn't reply, although the name does look familiar (hmmmmm).

    In response to me bitching about Benoit having the IC belt already, Zed writes: Benoit is the one out of the three who *needs* something extra to get him over, give him credibility, etc.

  • No shit, that is called a GIMMICK. Benoit has done nothing of interest, except the two matches with the Rock. The crowd doesn't care for him because even in those matches, he didn't do anything to make them particularly hate him. He said it, he needs an interesting gimmick. The belt is not an interesting gimmick. Jericho had a good gimmick before the belt, angle had a good gimmick BEFORE THE BELT, Benoit has nothing right now, just the belt. The WWF is working backwards. Maybe they realize that Benoit has no personality? haha, just kidding.

    Zed writes: HHH, on the other hand, is the ONLY uppercard heel the WWF has right now, and *needs* the belt to stay over. Take it away from him and he loses his heat.

  • Which completely restates what I said in the first place. The WWF has made HHH's character so dependent on the belt that they're scared to death of taking it off of him. he belt IS his heat. He can't do anything without it. When he drops the belt, he is IMMENSELY boring as a heel. We have already seen this during the Big Show reign and when Vince McMahon beat him.

    Zed writes: Nielsen only uses 5,000 Nielsen boxes to determine their ratings - which means that a 6.0 rating literally means that about 500 people around the country were watching wrestling. Considering the wide availability of net access (free in every library, free in every school, free at every college - perfect for the demographics that wrestling targets), I'd say that internet feedback is a lot more telling than the Nielsen ratings will ever be.

  • He misunderstood. When I said the internet only reaches 5% of the people, I was being sarcastic. Of course more people use it otherwise the WWF wouldn't be catering to them. Jeez, read the article it says there are more than 300 million people on the net. Why do you think I put the *5* in asterisks?

    Zed, and others like him, do not realize what they are saying. If you're going to give the belt to wrestlers who are not over in order to get them over, then the WWF may as well give them to T&A, Bossman and Buchanan, or Head Cheese. Any new group or wrestler should IMMEDIATELY get the belt, because that will get them over right? Silly.

    this is too long

    Mail the Author

  • BLAH


    Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
    Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission