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Leroy Larson




I suppose the recent concern in the diminishing quality of wrestling has overshadowed a far greater problem heretofore unmentioned by many: the diminishing quality of the internet mark. To test my hypothesis, I entered the Yahoo chat pretending to be a fan who hadn't watched wrestling for a while. Here are the results. The names have been changed to protect the unknowledgable.

Me: hey, i haven't watched wrestling for a while. anyone want to catch me up on what's been going on?

UnsuspectingVictim: well where was wrestling at when you last tuned in

Me: let's see. it was about the time the berzerker started out.
Me: that was the viking guy, right?

UV: who is the berzerker

Me: wait, you have to know the berzerker.
Me: how about skinner?

UV: dude i have no idea who you're talking bout
UV: don't know skinner either

Me: papa shango?

UV: heard of him but not really

Me: max moon?
Me: everyone loved max moon. now he was going places.

UV: the most recent wrestlers now days are The Undertaker, The Rock, Triple H, HBK, etc.

Me: yeah. i remember the undertaker.
Me: i've heard of the rock, maybe triple h, but who's hbk?

UV: hbk is the heartbreak kid Shawn Michaels

Me: shawn michaels? the rocker?

UV: yes shawn michaels the former rocker

Me: marty jannetty could kick his butt any day of the week

UV: well marty janetty didn
UV: oops didn't last
UV: The Rock is the current Undisputed Champion

Me: undisputed champion?

UV: yes undisputed champion

Me: i think wcw would dispute it

UV: sorry kingleo the wcw is no more

Me: what???

UV: yes king leo the wcw hasn't been for a while

Me: they had hogan fro crying out loud
Me: koko b. ware was my favorite. anyone know where he

(End of transmission)

Troubling, isn't it. As a side note it's plain to see that UV has a severe case of Brethartitis whose symptoms which include preceding the acronym WCW with the definate article "the."

Another chat had even more disturbing results.
Consider the following:

Me (after about 5 requests): won't somebody pleaaaase tell me what's happened in wrestling? my cable went out so i haven't been able to watch lately.

Mark: rocks undisputed champ thats all you need to know

Me: ok. that's a start.
Me: but i kind of want to know about my favorites

Mark: matt hardy smacked jeff with a chair

Me: ok. never heard of him. what about repo man. what's he been up to?

Mark: who in the blue hell is repo man
Mark: u sick freeeeeeek

Me: last i saw repo man was hanging british bulldog with his tow chain
Me: u have to know repo man

Mark: bulldogs dead my friend
Mark: so is owen

Me: wow! that sucks.

Mark: and yokosuna
Mark: and andre
Mark: and brian pillman

Me: well, i guess it has been a while
Me: what about skinner? does he still chew tobacco?
Me: vince mcmahon always said on superstars that he'd get gum cancer if he didn't stop

Mark: no he made love to ric flair

Me: who made love to ric flair?
Me: skinner?
Me: that's nasty!
Me: so where's koko b. ware?

Mark: half way up ur ass

(End of transmission)

Not to mention the so-called 15 year old "lifelong
fan" who, when I explained why 1991-1992 was such a
good year in wrestling told me I need to get a life.
Man, she sounds like my MOM.

So there you have it folks. The future of wrestling fans.

Leroy Larson

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