CRZ.net [slash] Wrestling [slash] Guests [slash] Martin

/wrestling
/guests
/Martin

Guest Columns

Marvellous Martin

BLAH

MUSINGS
Too many chair shots, too many broken hearts.

Hi folks, I trust you are all well. A little shot of Musings here to keep you alert and ready to face the scary real world that I'm sure some of you must visit once in a while. Anyway, on with the short sharp shots of opinions, hurled at you like a stick in an ape's primitive attempt to use weapons.

There is a question that has started to niggle at me, it really started niggling after I read the fine article by Eddie Burkett. He suggested that perhaps The Rock isn't going to Wrestlemania, that the Big Show is going to wrestle Triple H for the title. In fact, if you haven't read it, click the link now but come STRAIGHT BACK AFTERWARDS okay?

Anyway, I thought seeing as I am a true visionary, I would wave, nay, fling this idea in your direction to see what you think. Everyone is speculating about who is going to Wrestlemania to face Triple H. As I mentioned, Eddie makes a convincing argument for The Big Show going to Wrestlemania. However, I want top ask you this deep and challenging question........

Who says Triple H is necessarily going to Wrestlemania as the champ?

It's a good enough question. It is true that a big plot is being built up between Evil Steph and Shane, backed up by Triple H and Big Show respectively. I think having the world title involved is only confusing the issue, get rid of it. Really.

Put the belt on someone else and then build up to The Rock winning it at Wrestlemania. Simple.

Now, any ideas I had for the actual fantasy booking involved kind of sucked, so I'll leave that up to you. Mail me with your ideas and the best one gets printed next week and I will call you a genius. Ain't I great? All you have to do is don't make it too long, and don't go totally overboard and excessively silly, unless it means it will be very funny in which case I'll let you off. Though this is Marvellous Martin's opinion of funny now so be careful. Also, Get writing!!

I find it pretty amusing that an explanation of Sid's no show at the Thunder tapings has to be supplemented by the line "He is not upset with any political situation in WCW at this time" (from the Pro Wrestling Torch BTW)

Bob fucking Backlund? WHAT THE FUCK? I mean of everybody to turn up, Bob Backlund? "Wait folks, Chris Jericho has some back up in his corner, my god! Its Matt Borne!!"

Apparently <Mark Madden is on the edge. Is that because they couldn't find any chairs big enough for him to sit down properly?

I'm not sure if we're going to see Vince McMahon come back any time soon. Of course saying that he'll probably be on next week knowing my luck. But any way, hear me out.

You are the managing focal point of a large wrestling organisation. You announce that WWFE is branching out into American Football with the XFL. Now, you at least want to be taken reasonably seriously with this, you don't want to end up with another WBF.

So what do you do? You behave like a professional, reasonably intelligent business man who is serious about making this work and is worthy of companies' investment in your new venture.

What do you not do? You don't go on a show to interfere with a 'feud' between your son and daughter. You don't start talking in that big over the top voice again which makes you sound a little constipated. You don't start taking part in your big comic book show which the mass media views as silly and 'for kids' or 'a violent soap opera for adolescent men'.

Vince is looking to get this XFL venture off the ground, and he would have a much better chance if he didn't go back to playing a part in stupid story lines and doing lots of gulping. Oh course he could just say that nobody 'gets it' which would make me want to throttle him.

Props go to Chris Hyatte for making me laugh out loud on ScoopThis during his Mop-Ups. That was some funny shit like "You TRIED TO GO ON A POWER TRIP ON ME AND ACT LIKE I DON'T OWN YOUR ASS LOCK, STOCK, AND BARREL!!!!!!!!!!" and "I will UTTERLY AND TOTALLY HUMILATE YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR INTERNET LIFE WITH THIS." He cracks me up.

I couldn't believe it when I read that X-Pac and Kane are going to have a landmine match at Wrestlemania. I mean, X-Pac? I've seen him go out of his way to avoid taking decent chair shots, so a landmine match? The only way I can see this happening is if it is incredibly heavily gimmicked to the point that there is no way anybody could come close to getting hurt. All the same, it could be quite spectacular.

Angle vs. Jericho vs. Benoit for the Intercontinental strap at WM2K? Followed by a feud over the belt between Jericho and Benoit? Wrestling heaven awaits my friends.........

I know I'm a bit late bringing this up, but I don't think it is going to help The Radicals get over if they lose to a novelty tag team at their first WWF PPV. The booking has not been good recently, Benoit and Tazz get it on, and they interrupt it after two minutes? NO FAIR! Did the WWF rehire Vince Russo and kept it quiet?

That video tribute to Mick Foley had shit music. If I'd been asked to come up with a song, this is how is would have gone:

My Bloodied Champ
The way you look tonight,
Blood caked on your face,
Too many chair shots, too many broken hearts,
Would you go through one more table for me?

(Chorus) You could have been a no-one
But then you hit your head
Everything changed baby, everything changed.

All we have are memories,
Though you've been hit,
So many times, baby, right in the head
I doubt you'll remember them next week.

(Chorus)

The barbed wire, honey,
The land mines, loved one,
Too many chair shots, too many broken hearts,
Would you go through one more table for me?

*sniff* I've moved myself with that one.

As you remember Mick Foley, try and remember him for something other than him going through that fucking table will you?

That's all for this Musings. Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for mailing me.

I'll be back on Sunday or Monday with my report on WCW in the UK, as I will going to see them in Manchester. Will I be able to get a Vampiro shirt? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!!! I might have some pictures for you at some point too.

Cheerio folks, take care.

Marvellous Martin
Willing to suffer for your benefit
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author

BLAH

BLAH

Main