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Tanvir Raquib




Wow...the last ANYTHING I'd sent to [slash] was August 3rd, 2000. What a long, long time ago...

Anyways, I'm in a mood to contribute and stuff, while also wondering if CRZ hates me or not, so I figure "what the hell, the LEAST he could do is not put it up and send me a really nasty email", so why not?

So where do I start? Oh yeah, here's a word of advice to anybody writing for [slash] - KEEP WRITING. I mean, seriously, just keep doing what you're doing, regardless of the lack of feedback or feeling as though you may never "hit it big", because well, it's good and stuff. Yeah. (I recognize that I'm chock full of intelligence and deep thought, yes.)

I am an Oracle, which means I'm part of some dumb gay Delphi clique. Well, I thought I was, but in all honesty, I'm not. Hanging out with people who you respect is a good thing. I like good things. And speaking of good things, Alex Wright being on television is one of them. I don't care what any of you say - he's the most entertaining wrestler out there. The promos, the workrate, the psuedo Neo-Nazi dome - it's ALL THERE, MAAAAAN. A while back, I'd just stand up out of nowhere and do the Aryan salute whenever I pleased. Now, I actually have a reason to do it, darn it!

Excuse me if I seemingly don't like seeing websites involved in some serious incestual practices before my eyes. I remember the good ole days, back when I used to go to a million newsboards. THAT'S when I was a true 'Net mark. It was just cool reading all this supposed "top secret info" about the goings-on in pro wrasslin'.

And now? Well, it's kinda overstayed its welcome. I don't mark out for the "big news" anymore. And neither the "personalities" who put themselves in front of it. Yes, we are in a culture where the people who WRITE about this stuff are actually the "stars." Well, if being a "star" is someone who can write on a weekly basis about how great they are or how this match is ***** because DAMNIT, THEY'RE RIGHT, then I probably would not want that lifestyle. In fact, I definitely don't want that lifestyle. Even if Jeremy Botter (he's what we call a "name") may think so, I can publicly say it's not true. I'd rather poke fun at the things that annoy me, like pre-WWF Trish pics where she looks like a whore, but she still doesn't show us the tata's. That's a travesty. I've just gotta shake my head at that. Tsk tsk.

Working at Banana Republic has taught me alot of things. First and foremost, wrestling isn't THAT big. Well, not to the customers who shop at BR. They're mostly gay men who are looking for the baby blue turtlenecks. And they like kissing each other ON THE LIPS. I can remember waiting to talk to this one customer, but he was too busy kissing a bunch of other people with male genitalia. So I had to wait. The further thing from my mind was the WWF. In fact, I haven't thought about the WWF while working there. The one thing that people who work there will talk about is the new line of clothing. And I'm so far away from that. Really. Excuse me if I don't give a shit about those new tight ass stretch pants that all the homosexual males will be roarin' to hop into for the Christmas season. I'd rather talk about the GREAT YEAR that Chris Benoit is having. But no, none of the lispy guys at work wanted to talk about the Crossface. Arrgh. Thank Allah I quit that hole 2 weeks ago. Thank Allah.

And am I supposed to care about the WWF now? Because really, there's nothing that I'm TRULY excited about, other than that white bra 'n panties getup that Lita rocked on Smackdown a week or 2 ago. Now THAT was awesome. She needs to walk around like that ALL THE TIME. In fact, all them bitches need to walk around like that. Sharon, I'm not calling ALL women bitches. Only the WWF women. You rule. And you're not a bitch. But remember, the Oracles like pussy. And liking pussy is a good thing. Yeah.

Eddy Guerrero now comes out to the words of "Latino Heat" instead of "Mamacita". Good for him - nothin' worse than being identified by the bitch you had just last "been with." (C'mon, Sharon - give me a BREAK, SISTA!) Eddy's not the greatest wrestler ever, but it's nice to see him in the WWF. I'm considering getting some lucha so I can him in action with Art Barr. Nothing better than watching dead guys kick ass. Except if they're either JYD or Kerry Von Erich. I can still remember performing the Texas Tornado on my imaginery opponents all those years ago. My head still hurts from the spinnin'.

I'll write again if CRZ will agree to bear my children. Really. (You're not worth it - CRZ)

Tanvir Raquib
Because Allah Loves You and You and You.

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