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Scott Rees



Celebratory Piece

This is kind of an unusual piece, as I'm celebrating [Slash] one-year anniversary while preparing for the launch of a new web site Chris Anderson and I are putting together, Wrestlefans Online. Actually, Chris has put it all together, and I'm going to webmaster it, unless someone out there reading this would like too! Seriously, it will be the first time I've done the webmaster role (I don't even have my own homepage yet). This site is a collection of many of the writers who contribute to [Slash], as well as guys from the Rant Crew. Should be a fun mix.

Anyway, I'd like to thank CRZ for putting out this great site. The amount of work he does is friggin unreal. Four recaps of two hour shows, plus maintaining this site. You the man, CRZ. You wouldn't believe how scared I was to submit my first article to him. Scared shitless is an understatement.

Anyway, on to the pieces.

1) WCW's SUPERSTAR PRICKS. If you check CRZ's January Archives, you'll find my very first article. In it, I posted an ad for a full-time babysitter for WCW. My advice to Bill Busch (remember him?) was to shitcan anybody and everybody who wants a release. Of course, he only released the Radicals, all of whom went to the greener pastures of the WWF. Well, maybe greener for Benoit and Eddy. Deano Machino is stuck jobbing to women, and Saturn is soon to be on his way to Ohio Valley Wrestling at his pace.

Anyway, the nanny is still needed in WCW. Between Hulk, Lex, Liz, DDP, Kimberly, Sid, and Russo pouting on the sidelines, to Bagwell and Steiner's suspensions from their roid rage, to Sting and Goldberg bitching about their storylines, WCW is the same shithole it was five months ago at the top. Well, Brad Siegel is in charge now, and I'll give him the same advice I gave Bill (worked out great for him): Fire 'Em All!

First and foremost, the WWF does not want or need any of the above people, other than maybe Goldberg. The rest of the guys are either old, prima donna, injury prone, etc. Even Goldberg, with his prima donna attitude, would probably not attract a great deal of attention from the WWF.

All of these guys should be offered outright releases. If they don't take them, then let them know that any insubordination will cost them their jobs. Threaten to take them to court if you have to; those guys will settle because none of them want to pay legal costs. What's WCW got to lose, besides more money?

The thing is, WCW really doesn't need those guys. They have a great world champ in Jarrett. Booker T is just waiting to explode on the scene. The Filthy Animals, MIA, Lance Storm, Kidman, Vampiro, Mike Awesome, Kanyon, Kronic, the Perfect Event, the Cat, Crowbar, WCW can build around them. WCW still has a deep, talented, young roster. The added benefit of letting those guy go is the young guys know they're replaceable. That will help keep their egos in check.

You know, I wish I had been watching Saturday Night when they were showcasing the young guys; they're green, but good. I've enjoyed the last few weeks of TV shows written by Taylor and company. I like Russo's style too, but he's proven twice now he won't elevate the young guys. I say let Hogan wrestle whomever he wants at the next two PPV's, blow him a kiss goodbye, and send the other Millionaire babies with him.

2) CRIPPLER CROSSFACE vs. STEINER RECLINER. The outrage on the net this week about Rock no-selling the crossface is a joke. I know, I know, Benoit is God, but COME ON guys. At the same time, Scott "Formerly the NetCop - anybody know why he can't use that name anymore?" Keith has ragged on Scotty Steiner's REVERSE CHINLOCK OF DOOM.

I'm going to get crucified for this, but I'll stand behind this belief: The Recliner is a much more believable finisher than the Crossface. Ah, My Hands!

Forget who's using the move for a minute, and actually dissect them. Steiner would be squatting above you while you're on your knees, pulling your head and neck back with his 52" of arms wrapped under your chin. Your arms are dangling over his knees. What are your defenses to the move? You can try to get your legs out in front of you, but then you are an easy choke out. You can try to pick him up and backslam him. Good luck.

Benoit's Crossface is a much easier hold to break. He's cranking back on your head and neck, holding his hands together to keep his arms on your forehead. You are laying on your stomach, with one of your arms pinned between his legs. What are your defenses to the move? For starters, perspiration. Natural sweat should make that hold hard to maintain, and it seems his arms could slide easily of his head. You could take your off hand to guide his arms up. Two, you can get to your knees easily, get your legs out in front, and use your free arm to deliver blows.

If I had to choose between the two, I'd much rather try to escape from the Crossface. Chris, don't take that as an invitation to apply it.

3) MIDCARD ELEVATION in the WWF. I really, really like what the WWF has done with Angle, Edge and Christian, Jericho, Val Venis, Eddy Guerrero, and the Almighty Chris Benoit. Suddenly, we've gone from the ultra-stale Rock vs. Faction to a much more interesting mix. Bringing back Foley as the commissioner has been perfect, too. Here's to hoping the Genetic Jackhammer decides to knock up the neighborhood.

The next WWF PPV (Fully Loaded?) looks to be a great show. We're looking at a show of Benoit vs. Rock, Jericho vs. HHH, Angle vs. Undertaker (here's hoping Angle pulls it out), Kane vs. Venis (Val's interruption of Kane's chokeslam of Trish will not sit well with the Big Red Machine), Eddy and Chyna vs. Edge and Christian, and maybe a Tazz/Rikishi match. That is three hours I can't wait to see.

Kudo's to the WWF; they're scary good right now.

4) THE PTC CAN KISS MY ASS! Speaking of mid-carders, I am SO HAPPY that they're finally doing something good with Steven Richards. I've been a Big Stevie Cool mark since I saw the BWO on RAW. He's the shit. He's done a great job of pissing of the crowds via removing tables and potato-sacking the Ho's. Now, he needs to come out with a Dr. Pepper in one hand, a 7-Up in the other, and cut a promo about how great these two companies are for not sponsoring SmackDown! Think of the heat those companies would get if the WWF went public with that on their show? The Rock could then come out, tell Steven wear to place those cans, and then say go ahead and drink them afterward because they'll taste better! F-You PTC!

5) BLUE MEANIE IS DATING JASMIN ST. CLAIRE. Is that hard to believe or what? Course, the Meanie looks like he only weights a buck eighty right now. Congrats, Meanie.

6) ECW PLEDGE DRIVE: $2,000. No new pledges. You cheap bastards want to see ECW die? I pity you. Course, I couldn't be bothered to go to their show in Chicago a couple of weeks ago, so who am I crappin'?

7) BOBOB'S WRESTLING BABE OF THE WEEK. Uh, Bob says this is an absolute no-brainer. Did you see Stephanie on SmackDown!? Bob says I should really think about trying to marry into that family. He says if I could hook Denoit up with Travis Tritt, she'll be fine with me marrying Steph. Ready for the McMahon-Rees Regime?

8) BOBOB'S SICKEST WRESTLING MOVE OF THE WEEK. Bo says this is actually a week old, but Angle's moonsault on Holly is worth the wait. Did you see Holly's arm dangling, and that Angle actually grabbed it TWICE before the match was over. Ouch. Bo gives honorable mention to the UT's Last Ride on Test. Bo says that's a strong MF.

Bo also says that as soon as he gets to see RVD's springboard dropkick across the ring onto a chair planted in front of Balls Mahoney's face, that move might win for eternity.

7) BOBOB'S MATCH OF THE WEEK. Lots of good matches this week. So many this week, we had a hell of a time picking one. In fact, it's a three way tie. Bob goes for Jerry Lynn vs. Tajiri, I vote for Disco vs. Rey vs. Kidman vs. Storm (I LOVE THE ROLLTHROUGH HALF-CRAB), and Bo votes for Angle vs. Jericho.

8) CUBS TAKE SERIES FROM THE WHITE SOX! Got to throw that one in. I'm predicting the Sox to win the division, but not make it to the World Series. They don't have dominating enough starting pitching to get it done. Tribune Company, please don't trade Sammy. He's the only reason to go watch that damn team play.

8) AND, IN CONCLUSION, GO SEE SCARY MOVIE. I laughed my ass off nearly the whole movie. It's like There's Something About Mary, but raunchier. Great flick. There were a couple of spots were the audience was roaring so loud they drained out the audio for a few minutes. You'll dig it.

Now go read somebody else at CRZ or Wrestlefans Online!

Scott Rees
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