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Jerry Root




And reality came crashing down upon my head, like a wave at the beach, awakening me from my dreamworld.

Yes, I'm back, tail firmly tucked between my legs after the horrible performance by two of my teams in playoff contention Friday night. Both the Kings and the Redwings got their collective asses handed to them, and I am now firmly back in the real world.

(Draws a heavy sigh).

Oh well, onward.

Hello, Mr. Russo! This is reality with your wakeup call.

Pardon me. Hugh G. Rection? What the hell is this? Are we all prepubescent again? It reminds me of either when I was in the boy scouts and everybody wanted to name our particular patrol the "Beaver" patrol; or a really bad porno flick.

Either way it just downright sucks! Criminy! Once again Russo has proven himself to be the resident genius behind the WWF's rise to the top. (However I'm still trying to figure out his particular place in keeping it there, unless it's with these brilliant moves to sabotage the WCW, and as such... )

I won't even go there. I'm beginning to sound like so many conspiracy theorists out there. I'm reminded of a local comedy TV show I used to watch in Seattle, WA. One of the sketches was a game show based on conspiracy theories concerning the Kennedy assassination. The winner was the person who could sum up their theory in 10 seconds. The only one who could do it was the one who was convinced that he was eaten by a tiger. The point? I don't know, perhaps that conspiracy theories tend to get way out of hand? Or was it just filler? You make the call.

A lot is being made of Hogan actually doing something in the ring. At the risk of sounding jaded, he's way too old for some of this crap. Sorry, but regardless of how many tables he goes through, how many times he blades, he's an old man (relatively speaking) in a young mans game. He has nothing left to prove in the wrestling world. (In the acting world, well that's another story).

After reading several columns calling for various people to retire now, I would like to add my voice to call upon the following people to step aside now, before they really get hurt.

Steve Austin: The reason is obvious. Regardless of how well his neck injury heals up, he is not anywhere near the shape he was in his prime. I'd hate to see him cripple himself in a desperate attempt to stay on top. It's hard to realize that your time in the sun has come and gone, but that's the way it is.

Hulk Hogan: As I said earlier, time to get out now, before you totally embarrass yourself. Much like Jersey Joe Walcott, who didn't know when it was time to get out, and ended up a "tomato can" for up and comers, it's time to hang up the tights, and get on with life.

Terry Funk: Yeah, the man still takes amazing bumps, and he is one tough customer, but come on. Enough is enough. Time to end it now before you're the butt of jokes. I can think of very few who can keep up with your insane workrate, but it's time to step aside and give some time to your family.

Ric Flair: Time for a front office job. Perhaps giving the younger set some lessons on working the stick. Even a managers role for a reformed Horseman stable. However, it's past time to hang it up. You're a legend, Ric. Your place in history is secure. Time to teach the next generation.

Vince Russo: Actually I just want you to go away. Far away. Find yourself a gang of real "New York Tough" street punks and ....


There are others on the list. I'm sure you each have your own names to add. Tommy Dreamer, perhaps. Randy Savage.

Reality is a cruel master. I still dream I'm in the Navy, even though I know that I am far beyond that part of my life. I've accepted it and moved on to my next "career".

Reality check, aisle 3!

Jerry Root
[slash] wrestling

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