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If all those Kings logos are up tomorrow/today, I'll be surprised.
Hell, if the KINGS are still up tomorrow/today, I'll be surprised.

Eric S. on the Shooters finds me funny. Shawn Colton worships me blindly.
Sharon, the future Mrs. Waltman ;) says I have good points.
So shouldn't *I* be your NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion?
Nah, screw that, for I shall never, eeeeeeeeeeeeeVER, not be the party host of SLASH IS ROSSER! Dennis Knight, get better soon. And won't the real Al Snow please stand up? Anyway, I asked for 7, I got 2. Such is life. Hand me those yellow shades there---I believe it's time for the Butchatolla to do his CORE RESPOND DANCE!:

From [slash]hole Tanvir Raquib:
Hey, just wanna say that I enjoy your work.
I mentioned it in last week's ECW Hardcore recap, and well, CRZ commented on it. You might wanna check it.
-->Yeah, see it HERE. Ross? Come on, Chris Rob, ROSS? I hope you were trying to be Kirk Angel or something. Tanvir does good stuff that I hadn't read because MY Hardcore TV is a week behind the rest of the world's, proving that I only care about me. Tanvir is pretty cool though, even though he DOES need a haircut!

And Willie Ricks Jr. is about to freak this:
Well, MAYBE this one'll put you over the top into the rarified "more than seven responses to a Rant Crew column" territory. Or not... Mike Awesome the modern day Billy Ray Cyrus? ROTFLMAO! I never thought of that! I wonder what happened to that Billy Ray guy anyway... Sorry, I don't think Trish is *that* good looking. But to each his own. Yeah, Britney sucks. I just wish she'd suck ME. Then again... Is Tammy wrestling or is it just her fat jiggling? It's hard to tell LOL.
Oh BTW plans are underway to make ME the next WCW World Champ! It's true, it's true.
Kurt and Stephanie sittin' in a tree...(fill in the rest LOL)
-->It didn't, it was just second. Thanks for trying. My little brother came up with the BRC thing for Awesome, and HE'S 12. Scary, no? Of course, I disagree about Trish, but hey, you're wrong and I'm right so why argue the point? I'm convinced "The Real Slim Shady", is, in fact, Eminem's fourth-grade way of telling Christina Aguilera he thinks she's not as icky as the rest of the girls. THAT song's ROTLFLMAODTA316. Now here come the Tammy and Madden jokes. Kurt and Steph sitting in a tree? She talks and it'll be A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G! That's correct! That's correct.

BL PREDICTS: 6-2-1! Forgot about the Lightheavytitle, and called things that happened in the other two matches. But I hear the Grim Reaper callin' Judgment Day pretty soon. Gotta give CRZ his Meth.

LISTO DEL FUEGO: Seriously, the Western States Heritage Title, at least.

Yeah, it's offensive. Yes, it's repulsive. Of course, it was the best one all year.

14) **CAT FIGHT!**
Hey, a bodyslam! Now that they won't take away my workrate vise, more Ivory and Jackie! You guys still have those pools of pudding backstage, right?

No truth to the rumor they're the guys who covered "Boyz In The Hood".

Honestly, that was one of the top-5 moves of the year. Just nicely executed. Dean can go for an old guy, huh?

There's some sort of irony in the fact that Molineaux saw it and Jason didn't, isn't there? Anyway, Slut Frannie is better than Bon Jovi Frannie anyway, but she ain't getting over 3 stars, damnit!

'Cause it's not like he did this because he ALWAYS beats the Rock, right?

With the obvious exception of the announcers...

Anyone else think of Ali? Bret's done it all, Hogan wouldn't let Benoit go over clean, so you might as well fugeddaboudit.

07) **hHh TURNING FACE**
Prediction: by July, August at the latest, all the crowds will sing along to "Because I am THAT...DAMN...GOOD!"

If there actually is a Foley in this tainted orb, signing with Vince for 3 years. How can you have a--oh, wait, I have to save it for the end.

Don't you think he would've learned from the OTHER time he got in Kevin Nash's face?

First face title reign and everything. The question is: now what? The chase is always better than the kill in these situations, so we'll see if he can elevate the title with his ring-work like Triple H did.

Please, puh-lease, "I Quit" match @ JD. Make the 15 minutes 20 to 25 with a non-bitch cop-out ending, I'll be a happy-go-jacky smark.

That wasn't Pauly Shore funny. That wasn't Viscera slips on beer funny. That was legitamite Jason Sensation funny. Big Stevie Cool wishes he could rock that hard.


Dear Mr. Vince Russo: For the longest time, I have put off my feeling RE: your mis-handling of the World Title situation. I have had to drink and drink just to keep every other word from being a reference to you and propositioning a goat for sexual favors. And here's what I've got.

You, sir, are a legitimate moron.

No, you are not an idiot savant, because idiot savants have moments of brilliance between lapses. I can understand what must have been your crack-headed reasoning behind this: getting people to talk about WCW.

We're talking, all right, sir. We're JUST NOT WATCHING.

How did you explain this to everyone else? I mean, any mark who watches this wonders why Scott Steiner can't beat him, or Jeff Jarrett, or, say, Mike Tenay. Your "champion" is 100 pounds soaking wet and got to be a B-level celebrity by making lousy commercials, and marrying an hot chick who can act. As I was further going to rip you a third orifice, your "champion" himself came up with an idea that would have all of us Internetters (hey, WE'RE who you're writing for, right?) back in your corner. Four words:

World Champion Booker T.

Oh, I'm sure you're quite furious with me at this point, because people are going to say you're merely transposing the Rock's sucess onto another young, charismatic, black worker. Untrue. If there has been a better wrestler not to at least hold the U.S. Title, he's in your old place of employment in some way shape or form. Booker brings a lot to the metaphorical table. He works a stick well, can wrestle a match.

Arquette can't.

So before you say "titles mean nothing" or that we're just looking for an excuse to bash you, this is untrue. This colossal mistake has dropped WCW in many of our minds behind the WM2K league we make where we control everything. We WANT competition, it makes for better columns, bitching, and complaining. After all, we're tired of living in a one-supermart store town. Competition is all I ask.

That and the ugly untimely death of your "champion", preferably after jobbing to Booker T.

@LARGE: Ms. Hancock!, Mero returns, Tammy wrestles again, /LIONSAULT called by the real name, Hardcore Hardies splittsville?, Trish tabled, Courtney IS Nitro, Ralphus Norman's partner?, CRZ didn't call him Big Poochie and JR stole his joke, Tazz hurt?

Since I quoted Em earlier: who the hell is blowing Bischoff and Russo hardest to get their push in the Land of the Damned? Well, I'm outta here like I stole somethin'. Like I stole something/so from the computer I must stand up.

Butch Rosser
Supreme Overlord for Life, Future Husbands of Jennifer Love Hewitt
Dictator, David Arquette Must Job To Booker T and Die Club

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