This is a Test
OKAY, I'LL BITE: What's with all of the Rantsylvania logos? (The WHAT? ;) - CRZ)
LINE OF THE WEEK: Actually, a sign, from Raw (Sept. 11): "Where's Mark Henry?" Call the Big Show - he'll find out for you.
Honorable mention to Gene Okerlund: "Blow it out your ass! I play golf!" (Thunder, Sept. 13)
Pop quiz, hotshot.
You're the head booker of a major North American wrestling promotion. You've just come off of a poorly-received pay-per-view where you had a World title match and a semi-main event that determined the No. 1 Contender for the World title at the next pay-per-view. Now you have to script a card for that pay-per-view and build interest in the matches. You have five weeks to accomplish this.
What do you do?
PREDICTIONS FOR FALL BAWL
10-Man Tag Team Elimination Match: The Filthy Animals and Big Vittles (w/Tygress) vs. Natural Born Heat Killers
The Thrillers and the Animals have been having problems since the Thrillers were born. The group's newest member, Johnny the Bull, is back from injury to settle an old issue with Big Vito (attacking him in what was billed as a Shocking Swerve despite the fact that these two were ALREADY FIGHTING when Johnny got hurt), thus, Vito's inclusion in the match.
The Animals' team will be Rey, Juvi, Disco, Vito, and probably Konnan, since it'll be easier to protect him in a tag match. But which Thrillers are going to be in this match? Stasiak's still hurt.=20 Johnny's in because of Vito. Figure leader Mike Sanders will be in, as well as Jindrak and O'Haire. That leaves either Reno or Palumbo, and I'd rather see Reno, but that's just me.
What I'd Do: Thrillers need a good showing, but they shouldn't win. Two Animals survive.
What They'll Do: Thrillers go over, setting up a feud over the tag titles.
Cruiserweight "Title" Match: "Prime Time" Elix Skipper vs. Kwee
Kwee Wee is arguably the worst gimmick of the year. What's it even supposed to be?
What I'd Do: Put Skipper over and find some competition.
What They'll Do: They've painted themselves into a corner by renaming it the 100-Kilos & Under Title, so Skipper has to retain by default.
Mixed Tag Team Pittsburgh Plunge Scaffold Match: The Transition
Player Shane Douglas and Torrie the Fembot vs. Billy Kid Man and
Kidman suffered a throat injury at the New Blood Rising strap match these two had, and just returned this week.
Madusa's mad at Torrie because she's been being bratty during her training at the Power Plant.
I'll ask again: Who the hell's the FACE?
What I'd Do: I probably wouldn't even have this match, and I definitely wouldn't have Torrie and Madusa in it. I actually thought Kidman would be out through this show and wouldn't be able to work the match, so they'd put Crowbar into this spot and have him win.
What They'll Do: Since Kidman's getting this Big Push and all, I think they'll have Douglas win again.
Chain Match: Ckchronniychkk vs. The D.O.A. Brothers
What I'd Do: Have Kronic squash these fools.
What They'll Do: Russo likes the Harrises for some reason, so expect them to go over.
Can-Am Title Match (with Major Gunns also on the line): Kurt
Angle, Only With Less Heat vs. General Hugh Morrus
What I'd Do: Storm keeps the title, but Gunns escapes and rejoins the MIA.
What They'll Do: That, probably.
Bunkhouse Brawl: The Greatest Intercontinental Champion Of All
Time vs. Mike Adequate
Awesome's WCW career continues to be ruined with this new "That 70's Guy" gimmick, which isn't that good to begin with, but it's even worse on him.
It's a must-win match for both guys. What are Bunkhouse Brawl rules again?
What I'd Do: Somebody has to win, and that somebody should be Awesome.
What They'll Do: I have no idea. Probably put Awesome over.
Three-Way Dance: The REAL Franchise vs. The Original Green
Mist-Spraying Freak vs. Vampiro Jobs Again
What I'd Do: This needs to be ALL Sting, since it'd be moronic to job him the day before he gets a title shot.
What They'll Do: Sting will win, Vampiro will job, and it will last for more than 51 seconds.
No Holds Barred: Goldberg vs. The Pumpster
What I'd Do: Goldberg wins.
What They'll Do: Steiner wins after Bret Hart interferes.
World "Title" Cage Match: Booker T vs. Big But Not Particularly Sexy Kevin Nash
What I'd Do: T needs to KICK HIS ASS.
What They'll Do: How the hell is Nash going to lose the belt without jobbing in a cage match? Answer: He won't - he'll drop it to Sting on Monday after a Booker run-in.
Quiz Answers: Here's the order: 1, 4, 2, 6, 8, 5, 9, 7, 3. Now tell me this show isn't gonna suck big dogs.
NEXT WEEK: Fall(Brawl)-out and an Unforgiven preview.