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Matt Spaulding



Goin' Down

HURRY IT UP: You MIGHT still have time to get your ballot in for the 2000 awards, as I'm assuming you'll be reading this on Friday. Seems like we had more time to vote last year...

GAME BOY RETURNS: The WCW Backstage Assault review is in what people in the industry call "the pipeline" and should be done next week, although I make no promises. I'm hoping to get to SmackDown! 2 before Christmas.

THEY LET US SURVIVE: 6 for 8, but caveats abound: they had both the Euro and Women's title matches; I picked a Dudley, not a Hardy, to survive their SurSer-style match; and the main event went to a no-contest... Little surprised they let Saturn survive the match as well... OW! Red IS Lita's color, but not there... Wait a second - the title match is before the second elimination match?... Who the hell is THAT guy?... That's gotta be some kind of parking violation... Uh, who won?... Non-finish aside, only the WWF can consistently give its viewers memorable moments like that. Fans will be buzzing about that for months.

CONTROLLED LUNACY: 7 for 11... Evan Karagias still sucks... Hey, I was right - no one cared... A "loaded dancing shoe?" Interesting twist, actually... Looks like Awesome's still hurt... Well, at least they finally blew off that Bigelow-Wall feud... That HURT him?... Oh, it's another lame fake injury angle... At least Hugh pinned Storm this time... I'm actually happy Nash has a belt. See what this company has come to?... Wow. They actually put the belt on Steiner. I officially don't care anymore.

LINE OF THE INDETERMINATE TIME PERIOD: Lita (to Dean Malenko): "Dean, can I ask you something? Are you right handed or left handed?" "Why?" "Well, it just looks like you need some companionship, and...why don't you go home and entertain yourself?" That line RULED, and STEPHANIE wrote it. So THERE.

And a FINER-looking doorstop I've never seen, by the way.

We'll start off this week by going back four and a half months:

...I wasn't sure if the fans were ready for Booker T. as world champ, as his win on Sunday seemed almost... fluke-ish when you consider the relative lack of buildup AND the fact that he seemed hopelessly trapped in that insipid "G.I. Bro" gimmick just one month ago. (I would have given him a run with the U.S. belt first, but that's just me.) But my wishy-washiness is based more on the fact that this is STILL WCW, and part of me still expects WCW to royally screw this up. It Was A Good Day, July 15, 2000

Now that it's over, I say they did. And not just because he dropped the belt to Scott fucking Steiner.

It was the ways he lost.

Loss #1: to Kevin Nash, Nitro

Vince Russo (who, after putting Booker over in his "shoot" promo at Bash at the Beach, turned against him three weeks later) basically came out with NWO 4.0 (Nash, Jarrett, and Steiner) and promised a screwjob. At least he delivered on THAT. Jarrett's guitar came out, something happened with the referee, shake well and stir, we've got ourselves a title change.

You'll remember the reasoning behind this: Nash figured that he could talk his way into another title reign if he spun it so that it sounded like he was trying to help Booker out. He reasoned that Booker taking the title from him at Fall Brawl would help him (Booker) get over. I didn't think (and still don't) that Nash winning the belt was necessary. There were several better ways to accomplish the same thing, which I won't outline because you can go back here and see what they were.

Needless to say, we were all shocked when Nash jobbed clean at Fall Brawl.

Loss #2: to Vince Russo, Nitro

The infamous "Goldberg spears Russo through the cage and gives his ass a concussion" match.

Russo had rigged a match on the previous Thunder where he had named himself the #1 Contender and signed a cage Title match for the following Nitro. This was also around the time that he was trying to turn Goldberg into Austin by threatening to fire him if he touched him.

The match ended when Goldberg came to the ring and speared Russo through the cage just as Booker was walking out of the cage door. Russo was declared the winner and did an interview on Thunder with the belt on his shoulder. He then put it up for grabs in a "box match" on the next Nitro, and Booker found it for his third WCW World "Title" win (beating Jarrett, who was still only marginally over).

Loss #3: to Scott Steiner, Mayhem

Hey, I never said losing to Steiner had nothing to do with all of this.

While all of this stuff with Booker was going on, Steiner was actually getting a better build to World championship status. He'd won the U.S. title tournament at Spring Stampede before losing it via DQ, and feuded with both Nash and Goldberg (we'll forget the Tank Abbott misadventure). So it seemed reasonable that Steiner could beat Booker at Havoc. But he got DQ'd, and I still haven't found the last time that happened in a PPV World title match. So they had a rematch at Mayhem, and Steiner won with his crappy finisher.

"Well, Booker wasn't drawing," some say. Well, had he gotten Steiner's logical, well-paced push instead of being shuttled from G.I. Bro to a double hotshot win over Jarrett, maybe he does draw a little bit by now. But WCW's in such bad shape that it wouldn't have happened. Jarrett didn't draw. Nash didn't draw. Sid's NEVER drawn. Steiner, despite getting a semi-decent push, probably won't draw either.


Admit it: You ALL forgot. Actually, I was wondering if Heyman had remembered until the Torch got the card on Tuesday. And even then, N2R was the epitome of "Card subject to change."

Boy, this fed has REALLY fallen off the radar screen since TNN dropped them.

Tommy Dreamer vs. C.W. Anderson

Anderson's been taking credit for ending Dreamer's career. This match would seem to suggest that, well, he hasn't. Dreamer's been on the shelf for a while with a bad shoulder, while C.W.'s spent his free time pissing off most of the Shooters.

What I'd Do: I see no compelling reason for Anderson to win this match.

What They'll Do: Therefore, Anderson will win this match.

Television Title Match: Spike Dudley vs. Rhino

Spike, who serves as acting commissioner of WCW every three weeks or so, has been gored far too many times for a man who's in a leg brace that's bigger than he is. I'm just saying.

What I'd Do: Somebody has to beat Rhino eventually. Why not Spike?

What They'll Do: The fans love Spike, but Rhino's retaining, although this would be the upset of upsets.

Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger vs. Joey Matthews & Christian York

They tangled at N2R.

No, really... that's IT.

What I'd Do: Simon & Swinger all the way.

What They'll Do: Whoever won last time will win this time.

Mystery Partner Payback: Mikey Whipwreck and (yoshihiro) Tajiri vs. The REAL F'N Show and a partner of his choice

Super Crazy and Tajiri suddenly remembered they don't like each other. Mikey stepped in the middle of this first, then sided with his tag team partner. This means that Crazy needs a partner.

What I'd Do: How about Kid Kash as the partner? Faces go over, BTW.

What They'll Do: Considering the three guys already in the match, something tells me that they'll just fuck with all of our sensibilities and make the fourth guy Balls Mahoney or somebody like that. It won't matter, since Mikey and Tajiri will likely win the match.

Tag Team Title Match: FBI2K (w/THE MONSTROUSLY OBESE Sal E. Graziano) vs. Danny Doring and Roadkill

Doring and Roadkill have been the FBI's TV bitches ever since Anarchy Rulz, coming oh-so-close to winning the tag titles every week. says: "If Doring and Roadkill lose, they will be forced to split up as a team. In ECW, we adhere to all of our stipulations so if Doring and Roadkill don't win the belts, they will never team up again." Don't ask me what section of their asses they pulled this stipulation out of; I can't help you.

This has "beloved face duo breaks up when someone turns" written al over it, but this company's running out of tag teams - and over performers - as it is.

What I'd Do: What should have been done six months ago - Doring and Roadkill win the belts.

What They'll Do: What I just told you two lines ago - what should have been done six months ago.

Three Way Dance for the ECW World Title: Steve Corino vs. Just Credible (w/That Slut Francine) vs. The New Show

Corino's a heel again? Good.

What I'd Do: Put it back on Lynn, who shouldn't have lost it in the first place.

What They'll Do: Put it back on Credible, who probably shouldn't have won it in the first place.

And still no Rob Van Dam.

Small Packages:

  • Well, I ain't ordering Starrcade.
  • Although, I guess it's good that they're playing up the "Sid never lost the belt" angle.
  • Is Nash STILL drunk? And he's NOT coming back. So SHUT UP.
  • Was there a shortage of security at Raw? Something must have been up - we had half the wrestlers involved in breaking up backstage brawls.
  • Was that a 450 K-Kwik broke out on SmackDown?
  • Whatever happened to the rule that WCW hardcore matches have to start backstage?
  • Hey, Bischoff: Either buy the damn company or go away.
  • OMG ARMDRAGS FRONT CHANCERY WORK THE HEADLOCK AUSTIN AUSTIN AUSTIN OH HELL YEAH - sorry, started channeling Shapiro for a second there.
  • But if HHH starts saying shit like "There can be only one!", I'm outta here.

    Matt Spaulding

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