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Matt Talbot



I'm Weird

This column is gonna be a short one. Not because I have nothing important to say (which I probably do not :-)), but because I can sum the entire column up into two words: I'm weird. Why am I weird? I have wrestling on the brain. It is a condition that seems to afflict me when I am bored. This will not be my normal analyzation column, but something that I think affects us all (or at least I hope it does to more people than myself). Hell, even Ziggypop8 could understand what I am saying here.

See, whenever I am sitting in class, bored, I think about wrestling. I daydream about lucha libre. Nameless, faceless wrestlers fly, twist, and sault their way across my mindscape. It just seems very odd. The most prevalent daydream I have is of Jeff Hardy's Senton Bomb, but I change it around some. You know that way that RVD gets up to the top rope, where he just kicks his legs around as he jumps up. Basically, it is a very fluid motion where he pushes his hands off of the ropes and brings his legs around and onto the turnbuckle. I keep having this dreamscape of a wrestler doing something like that, but, instead of landing on the turnbuckle, he flips through and hits that headbutt senton bomb. Sometimes I think of graceful moonsaults. In my classes there are usually tables at the front of the room. I always wonder what it would be like to stand at the edge and moonsault off. I have trouble paying attention sometimes.

The tables are very distracting actually. I keep thinking of people getting put through them. Sometimes it is by suplex. Sometimes by PBomb. Sometimes by DDT. Sometimes by Hardy senton bomb. In my Poly Sci class, there is this huge marbleish dais at the front of the auditorium. I can barely think of anything else but Leg drops, Outsider Edges onto or off of the dais. They would be soooo painful on this thick thick lecture. Every move is a graceful masterpiece of wrestling talent that I could never achieve, but my brain continually dregs up. Also, since this is not in real life I embellish. Nobody would ever be able to take a Tiger Driver '91 through three flaming tables from the top of the auditorium. Still, I always think of things like that.

Even when I am just walking sometimes they just pop in my head. I will be walking and I can almost feel a Misawa forearm. It seems so real to me. I think that is one of the major draws of pro wrestling. This rush I get thinking about a vertical suplex off of the lecture in my history class. I will walking down to class and see an open window and all of a sudden think what it would be like to do a RVDish somersault senton (like in the opening to ECW on TNN) off of it. There is no crowd, though. Of course I would never do these insane stunts, but I cannot stop thinking about them.

In fact, it scares me sometimes. I like baseball and go to around 10 As game a year or so. I will just be sitting there on the second level of seating and start to daydream. I will wonder what it is like to do a moonsault or that somersault senton or a leg drop or an elbow drop or something off of the second level railing. That frightens me, because I just hope I never go through with it.

Well, anyway those are my zany ramblings about why I am so weird. As I said before, I must have wrestling on the brain. It must be in my blood, because I cannot get it out of my head.

If you have any comments, concerns, complaints, or questions, or just wanna chat about how cool it would be to do a flying clothesline off of the drum major's tower, then please email me at

Matt Talbot

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