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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




Last Monday, Al Snow petitioned to be the commissioner - but after being fed to the Big Show on Monday, Al was too hurt to beat Steve Regal on Thursday. Even his friends got beat up. With Regal as Commissioner, what's Al to do?


WWF New York - Al makes the opening speech on stage. I think that's a rule. Al says he doesn't deserve the applause - he's sad because he's not commissioner. He could take being beat up on a weekly basis, or being belittled. BUt he can't take letting the people down - he would've been the People's Commissioner. Al doesn't know if wants to be a WWF Superstar right now. But first, a present from Mick Foley (The Germ making a cameo to deliver the package.) Al opens the large box (actually, it's opened from the inside) - and it's Vito the Finger and Handsome Jimmy Shoulders (his campaign workers.) They're here to cheer him up, but Al's not sure if he still wants to be a WWF Superstar still. He'll let us know within the hour. "Hi ho ho Al don't go" chant is started by one of the guys - but the fans don't really get into it. Al walks off.

Your hosts are Tazz and Michael Cole.

Backstage, Al refuses to be a WWF superstar during the Regal regime. But they point out there's more he can do in the WWF superstar besides being a wrestler - they'll show him.

Tazz endorses Al's idea of quiting.

Kai En Tai are out for an unscheduled interview! Tazz: "There's always time for Kai En Tai!" Cole suggests that Al could be their interrupter - huh? "Fools, we have finnaly found the formula to absolute victory! Shitee! [That's what it sounded like] What we contend is the that the two of us unfairly fight two against one, there is no one who can stop us. Therefore, if there is anyone foolish enough to take up our challenge of a handicap, let them step forward to take rain on our parade of eeeeeeeeeeeevil!" "inDEED" Funaki manages to say it without the microphone being even near his mouth, that's cool. UH OH

Kai En Tai vs Steve Blackman in a handicap match - TAKA doesn't seem too rattled. He'll start - and do a martial arts dance. Blackman drops him with a right. Whip, kick misses, TAKA ducks, Taka's kick is caught and Steve sweeps the legs, but misses the elbow drop. TAKA off the ropes, right into a wheelbarrow suplex. (Thanks Tazz!) Funaki's clothesline misses, shots to the chest and  a shot to the mat - but TAKA hits a superkick. Palm thrust, palm thrust. Tag to Funaki. Right, whip, reversed, reversed, Blackman is thrown through the ropes. Funaki whips him, no Funaki goes into the barricade. Swing into the steps, head first - TAKA with a plancha, and then runs to proclaim insurance to the ref. Funaki throws Steve back in - whip by TAKA, drop toe hold, Funaki with the camel clutch, dropkick to the face. Celebrate.  Kick to the leg by TAKA, Blackman answers back with a stiffer one. Steve waves him on, and TAKA tries again, for the same results. TAKA readies himself, then tries the kick to the leg for the third time, only to get a series of kicks to the back of the leg that take him down. Funaki's clothesline to the back takes Steve down. Kick, turnbuckle shot, tag to Funaki. Whip, double kick to stomach, double dropkick to the head! Full Nelson by Funaki, TAKA off the ropes, but Steve ducks and Funaki gets the spin kick. Whip, running gut shot, then a  thrust kick to Funaki, side belly to belly on TAKA. Whip, reversed, Lethal Kick by Blackman. "That's it!" Blackman hooks on the Guillotine (Tazz says it's a Dragon Sleeper, but it's not a normal version) and gets the tap out on Funaki. (3:24)

They've got an idea - Al could sing the National Anthem at Wrestlemania. Problem is, Al only seems to know songs from the Wizard of Oz.

Okay, idea #2 - interviewer.

Cole plugs the Limp Bizkit/WM ticket give away.

Crash (w/Molly Holly) vs Raven (w/Black Ninja) - That's how she's announced. It takes a while for us to clear the ring of the people who aren't in this match, and Raven uses the opportunity to pounce up on Crash - Corner whip, Crash kips up, Raven stops short but misses the punch, Crash rolls him up, 2 count. Waistlock from Crash, Raven to the ropes but Crash rolls him into a reverse cradle, no this time Raven reverses it for 2. Both up, but Crash with a drop toe hold into the stretch roll for 2. Right, turnbuckle shot, turnbuckle shot in the other corner and in that corner again and a whip and a trip into the bottom turnbuckle, Crash gets the cheers, kick in the corner, whip, reversed, but this time Crash is smart enough duck out of the way, taking down Raven and then slingshotting him in to the corner. Rollup for another 2. Crash isn't happy with the count. Whip, reversed, Over, tripped up by Black Ninja. Raven stomps on Crash while Molly is cut off from getting involved with Black Ninja by the ref. Raven says hi to Molly - and gets rolled up for 2. Corner whip, Raven charges in with a clothesline, and then takes down Crash with an reverse bulldog, I guess. Cover for 2. Tazz was too busy complaining about the Train from last week. Snap mare, and here's the sitting hangsman neckbreaker hold. Whip, reversed, sleep by Crash, jawbreaker by Raven. Raven gets up - and Crash puts the sleeper back on! This time Raven runs him into the corner. Raven tries to follow up, but Crash gets a boot, then works Raven up in the corner with punches and kicks. Whip, back elbow. Clothesline. Slam. Yell. Going to the top - missile dropkick! Black Ninja is on the apron - now Molly is on the apron, and she gets the ref's attention. Raven's up, but Crash sees him coming and knocks him down. He doesn't see the rope jawbreaker by Black Ninja, and Crash falls right back into the DDT. (3:47) Did Cole said that's "the Raven Effect." Black Ninja and Raven celebrate - well, till Molly dropkicks the Ninja in the back. Kick to the stomach by Crash, and if the ref will just move out of the way, here's a Acid Drop. (Or "Tornado DDT" if you're Cole.) Molly goes for the mask - she's got it out. We see - brown hair. And then a face. It's...Tori. Tazz and Cole get it at the same exact time. Raven tries to cover her up after, but it's too late. It's Tori - "what's the connection with these two? Who would have thought it?"

Al is practicing interviewing skills - by interviewing random people in WWF NY. His friends try to get women.

Ivory is out to accept Chyna's challenge. And she does. In far more words. That you don't care to read. I like Ivory, and this gimmick. Usually. Not here. 

Backstage, Al's still looking for his spot - he doesn't want to be like Kevin Kelly. The small guys have an idea for him

Rock vs Austin. My Way seems like it should be played for the Hardyz match, IF THEY BREAK UP, but it works good here too.

Snickers presents WM.

Here's Al new role - introducing light (very light) heavyweight title matches between his pals. Al decides that ring announcer isn't good, but stopping his friends from actually fighting gives him another idea - being a referee. (The referee thrown on his face might also have tipped him off.)

X-Pac (w/Justin Credible) vs Billy Gunn (w/a CD and a new shirt but no friends) - Someone found X-Pac's video! (It's the same one.) Cole remembers DX, which is surprising. It's been about 20 minutes since we had a match. Lockup, Billy pushes X-Pac down, kick, kick, whip, head down to soon, kick, chop, whip, reversed by Gunn, press slam. Is Chyna coming back to soon? X-Pac to the apron and gets pushed to the floor. He's calling a time out and walking up the ramp - Billy chases him and brings him back. Where's Justin? Billy throws X-Pac in and Justin is there with a superkick. Cole says Justin is the X-Factor in this match, npi. X-Pac chokes. Armbar, kick to the gut, standing spin kick, cover for 2. Whip, sleeper. Billy's down to his knees. The crowd gets him back in, elbowing out, off the ropes, jumping heel kick by X-Pac. Triple kick in the corner sets Billy up for the X-Pac. Pac teases the move and delivers. But then Billy Gunn no sells it and knocks down X-Pac with two clotheslines. Whip, tilt-a-whirl slam. Jackhammer. Billy slaps his knee - oh, that's the sign for the Fameasser. Hits it, cover, Justin puts X-Pac's foot on the ropes at 2. Billy argues, X-Pac goes after him, Billy catches him right into the sleeper but drops it to pop Justin, rollup by X-Pac and that'll do it (4:15) One wonders why Billy just didn't drop X-Pac with the move and then hit Justin, since Justin was just standing on the apron doing nothing, but I guess that's why Billy Gunn has worked his way down to Heat.

The short people are fighting and I'm not doing play by play here. Oh no, it's transitioned into a hardcore match. Al tries to take away the weapons, but they turn on him. And give him advice. "There's only one person that can help you Al - and that's yourself."  And they have to go to stage to take care of business.

Al thanks the fans - but he's still hasn't made a decision. He doesn't want to be a WWF superstar "I got something, that you need, that you need - hell, I got something that everyone wants." Al is presented Head, and we all cheer for her (I think) return as the show ends.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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