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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




Earlier today, Triple H and Steph RODE IN A LIMO. We're very happy for them. I fear what "special edition of Heat" means.

I think the reason for the low ratings is the open is just a montage of Heat logos. Gotta bit it.

OH! Look at the massive changes! Tazz and Michael Cole have comfy chairs and a set (on the stage) like they're on a low rent talk show. This changes every thing! I wonder which one is the wacky co-host. Time to play the game. Triple H does water spit the audience, how nice of him. Look, a monitor with their names on it in case we weren't sure who these people who are. Tazz welcomes Tazz. Either they turned up the crowd this week better this week or they're insanely into Triple H. 

"Special look back" DOES mean video package. We go back to the wedding - and the other wedding. There's the stipulation for the Armageddon match (Steph vs a title shot), and then Steph's turn. And that's all for now. (1:30)

Steph tells us that (shut up crowd) "I never really knew the meaning of true love till I meant my husband." Triple H proclaims himself a real man. More video packages when we come back! 

LONG coming up next thing here - save some of it for later

You know, if I want to recap an hour clip show, I'll watch Superstars. Or, hey, I won't do anything at all.

Hey look, the ABC Newsline has the FIRST PLACE CHICAGO CUBS beating the LA Dodgers 3-2. Jason Bere only pitches bad when I go to see him - I'll try to avoid that in the future. Also, we are back on Sunday Night Heat.

Video Package #2 - the beginning of the McMahon Helmsely era. Look at all those people who aren't there anymore. Listen to Kevin Kelly's voice over - I wonder if this is an old Superstar video package that they recycled. Watch Steph slap (well, almost) JR. Triple H wins the World Title, Mick Foley has enough - so he gets fired. And that ends that. (2:00)

I want to make a joke about softball questions but then I'd make a Sid joke and there's no good that can come with that. Cole and Tazz set up Triple H and Steph with lines they can act like a heel on - the point is they're not abusing the power (because they can do whatever they want to it) and Tazz still can't say "pissed" on MTV. 

Video Package #3 - the end of Mick Foley's career. There's No Way Out and there's Cactus Jack falling a long way. And that's how Mick Foley's career ended. No more matches after that. We swear. (:45)

Triple H waxes poetically about ending Mick Foley's career and then gets on Cole's case.

Showing that Undergrads commercial twice in a row (and about four times this hour) makes me want to see it even more.

Video Package #4 - the new commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation. Look, HBK. Foley telling Triple H: "You are not bigger than the WWF" seems odd now. And that's how we end that, without actually seeing Foley doing anything. (1:20)

Triple H says Foley as a commish was a joke. Steph reminds us that she and Vince got Foley fired, again. We move on to the problems Triple H and Steph had.

Video Package #5 - martial problems. Hi Trish. Hi Kurt Angle. There's the kiss. The fireworks they added in there was the best editing ever. I think this is just the SummerSlam package replayed. (1:40)

Steph doesn't like the fireworks, go figure. Triple H talks about amateur wrestling. Steph says "69 position with Trish Stratus." Hunter says that's a nasty term. Anyway, Steph says that Hunter did no more with Trish than he did with Angle. Cole asks Steph if she did cheat with Kurt. Triple H reminds us that he thinks Kurt is gay. "There's nothing wrong with that." "Alternative lifestyle." Triple H didn't realize what "Angle Sucks" really meant and the fans pick up the chant. Cole mentions the dropped Hotel Number angle and Steph plays dumb - so I guess that's gone.

I find it hard to believe that there's a mission stupid enough for James to turn it down. On the other hand, that team is having problems with even the slightest doubt of their rightness. 

There was a something or other of the week here but I've lost my motivation to care.

Cole brings up the room thing again - Step says it was Kurt's hospital room number, not a hotel. She spend the whole night with Shane, but she did check in with Kurt to see if he was okay, like a friend would do. Moving on, Tazz wants them explain how Steve Austin and Hunter get along, after those attempted murders. Triple H says that after being unsuccessful killing each other, they realized they'd be really successful if they just killed everyone else. And they have been. Cole asks Hunter if he trusts Austin. Hunter: "What do you think?" Cole doesn't think. Hunter doesn't really answer the question - he does say "honor among thieves" and "we can trust each other as long as we're successful." Hunter points out they they've taken out Kane and Undertaker won't last long alone. Coming up, they'll take questions from the audience, but first...

Video Package #6 - Insurrextion Highlights. No scenes of the main event - no real finishes but just highlights of some of the action. (:45)

JVC watch Test get killed on RAW

Cole points out that Test had his rib cage taped up when they saw him at Insurrextion. Anyway, stupid questions from the fans now. What turns on Steph? Triple H. How do they feel about Shane and WCW? Shane wants to be Vince but he's not and he never will be. Steph says Shane made a shrewd business move but he will pay for it. Does Triple H want to do movies and TV? No. The Rock's only doing that because he go beat up so bad he had to find a new line of work. And no one will do that to Triple H. How long will Triple H and Austin last? As long as they want - they run and own the WWF, so that can go on for a very long time, if you like or not. Any chance of getting back with Chyna? Chyna's doing her own thing - great for her. Steph finishes the answer: NO. How did Steph about Trish with her dad? Steph felt like beating up Trish and did. Hunter has no comment about it. Has being a WWF superstar gone to Triple H? Triple H mocks the guy and says he's the same person he was before. And that's it for that.

Steve Austin vs Undertaker at Judgment Day! Video Package #7 - Undertaker gets revenge on Heat. (2:02)

Kane will likely be mad if he returned, but Triple H thinks that's a big if and he'll deal with it when he comes back. When Triple H and Austin, Undertaker is going be a dead man. We kill time because we've run out of things to say. I hope this show gets killed in the ratings.

Next time I do Heat, I'll be a 22 year old college graduate. Which might not mean too much if I don't ever do this show again.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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