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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




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Backstage, some young women are checking out Foley's book. Foley wanders over - he's only going to sign the book, not anything else, unless they feel really strongly about it (like Terri and Trish did on Monday.) Insert discussion about Alexander Hamilton and elitism here. "Chicks dig me!"


It's WWF! It's New York! It's WWFNewYork! It's Puerto Rician Day! I hope all the women made it out in one piece. In the spirit of the day, Tazz (oh, your hosts are Tazz and Michael Cole) wishes everyone "Bonjurno". Or maybe it's "Bonjovi" 

Crash (into me, w/three days ago) vs Funaki (w/TAKA Michinoku and flags) - You haven't heard "Wanted Dead Or Alive" until you've heard Tazz sing it. You'd think, in the 164 hours a week they're not on a WWF show, Molly and Spike could have found time to kiss. Apparently not. Tazz suggests Motel 6. TAKA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY. "Tonight, Crash Holly, through the power given to us by Thor, Funaki will will demonstrate why you are no match for you are an underling, American and we are EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. HAHAHA HAHAHA" "inDEED" TAKA needs to speak clearer. Tazz says it's a big day for Kaientai, you know, being Puerto Rican Day and them being Puerto Ricans and all. He knows they pretend to be Chinese but Tazz found out the truth. "These guys are Puerto Rican from the word go!" Crash attacks Funaki from behind with a forearm and then gets to stomping. Crash with a whip, clothesline is ducked, flying headscissors by Funaki. Drop toe hold, off the ropes dropkick to the face. Celebration - he doesn't need TAKA to pull off that move! Suplex, Crash falls behind, crash with a kick, vertical suplex on to the top rope. Right to knock him to the floor, tout and throw him back in before TAKA can get around to help his partner or get a shot of his own in. Kick, cover by Crash one two kickout. Turnbuckle smash. Turnbuckle smash no Funaki blocks and hits three of his own. Corner whip, Crash did something weird on the whip (like trying to reverse it when no one's there to do it so you just kinda spin while you run), Funaki charges and goes shoulder in the first into the ring post. Apron smash. Funaki rolls in, Crash follows. Cover one two kickout. Forearm to the back. Pickup, push in backwards the ropes, forearm to the back. You know, I can't help but think that Crash hasn't been the same since he lost that Light Heavyweight title. Of course, the announcers have long forget that story. Slam, going up top - Funaki drop kicks him as he comes off. Crash with a right, Funaki with a right, Funaki with a right, Crash's right misses, multiple rights by Funaki, corner whip, reverse, Crash misses the charge, bulldog! Funaki with a waistlock, go behind by Crash reverse roll up he pulls the tights one two TIM WHITE NOTICES THE PULLED TRUNKS! That never happens! Backslide by Funaki for one two. Dropkick and Crash goes face first into the corner - back suplex one two kickout. Whip in the corner Funaki charges in and eats boot - jacknife cover and hooking the ropes out of Tim White's view one two three (3:38) Funaki was in the ropes too. TAKA protests to the ref but Crash lays him out with a forearm shot! Crash is finnaly off that losing streak but he had to cheat to do it.

Mick Foley is looking for something - insert a book plug here - oh there's Socko.

The Germ is at the Puerto Rico day parade. He gets THEM to plug the Foley book. I wonder if the basketball game has started yet.

Hey, it's Mick Foley to do the Segment Two Speech - He knows the fans count on him as a source of honesty in the WWF, but he's got to come clean. On May 7, he showed up and wasn't totally honest with the fans, but it's easier if he just shows a clip. Foley on tape says that the book would be a perfect Mothers' Day gift. Foley on Heat says it would be a good Mother's Day gift, but it'd be a perfect Fathers' Day gift. Foley then moves on to say that the quality of Heat's is often judged on the ratings it gets, and one of the highest rated shows was one by Kaientai. He'd really appreciate it if, during this upcoming commercial break, if the people at home would call their friends and say "Mick Foley's on Heat", because if he loses to Kaientai, he might lock himself in a room and watch Test videos all day. And that's it. Later on, Tazz and Cole interview Mick Foley.

Combos Edge Upset King Of The Ring Win From Smackdown - I say upset because I forget he won when I watched this the first time.

Look at all the Puerto Rican flags. Who's going to win the KOTR? Rhyno, Angle, Edge and Jeff Hardy are in.

Raven (w/WWF the Music Volume 5) vs Christian - Tazz does the "caws" from Raven's song. Tazz is losing his mind. Cole says Raven's IQ is 152 - he sure seemed smart when he was on Win Ben Stein's Money. (Or when making fun of interviewers.) Christian's in the tournament - will he end up facing Edge? More like, WHEN will he be facing Edge? Circle, lock up, break. Lockup, no real advantage, Raven pushes Christian to the ropes but they spin and spin and Christian lands on top. Break, no Christian with a right right right, whip, head down too soon and Raven gets kick, clothesline takes them both out. Russian legsweep into the barricade. Throw back in. I think Raven got stomped as he come in. Right from Christian right misses and Raven hits his. Ref pushes him out of the corner, Raven ducks both of their heads to avoid the clothesline, hits his own, cover one two kickout. Christian trips him out of the ring but gets rights when he follows BUT manages a drop toe hold into the steps. Raven gets a barricade shot and retreats in. Stomp, stomp, cover no choke. Chin lock or a face bite or Christian 's hair was in the way so I don't know. Right right right kick kick, snap mare, that's a chin lock. Turnbuckle shot and a choke. Break, Raven with a right right right, off the ropes right into a boot, reverse DDT into the back breaker, hard kick to the back, diving clothesline cover one two kickout. Christian going to the second rope - dropkick connects. Now he's going up to the second rope again - dropkick is caught this time-  Sling shot into the corner. Raven's going to the corner - oh wait, no tag. Christian goes after him and gets right for his trouble - whip rebound clothesline. Mr. Wrestling #1 Kneelift. TAZZ CALLS IT! Now I know he's losing his mind. He says 2 but I thought it was 1 but who cares, he said it. Bronco Billie Special (he doesn't say that but he sees it coming - must've seen a lot of Raven matches too) - NO, Christian pushes Raven off the bulldog, but Raven rebounds out of the corner and hits it anyway. Cover one two no you aren't a WOW wrestler. Christian rolls to the apron, but Raven gets him - turnbuckle shot is blocked and Raven goes into the turnbuckle. Christian of the top - cross body finds nothing. Raven rolls him up one two kickout. Christian with a knee,  pause Raven small package for for one two. Raven with a right but Christian ducks and hooks on the Finisher With No Consistent Name but Raven escapes - Raven Effect but Christian escapes and hides in the corner. Raven goes after and gets a double leg takedown - Christian gets his legs on the second rope and cover one two three. (5:03) Tonight's theme: cheap heel wins. If Raven's so smart, how did he fall for that? 

Mick Foley: World News Tonight. Today. 

King of the Ring Classic Moment: 1998 - Mankind goes for a ride, part one.

Sit down interview. Tazz asks about the Twins jersey - he got the jersey before Summerslam one year, and he bases his favorite team on how they are nice to him. He dos not plug his new book. Not all. Tazz asks him to not plug it again. Mick Foley did better than Kathy Gifford at Mall of American, 4 to 1. There's absolutely nothing about Michael Cole in the book. But he can tell the Tazz story. I'm not telling you. Read the book. The joke about Billy Gunn seemed funnier when he was writing it then when he was alone with Billy in the locker room reading it. "I'm gonna come clean here, and it's only because it's Heat and not many people are watching it right now." Crowd boos. Anyway, Tough Enough is gonna make Al Snow a star and he deserves it. Thoughts on Regal: He's gonna make it his life's ambition to besmirch Regal. Mr. McMahon: For a smart guy, he's a genius. For a genius, he does some really dumb things. Foley on Vince:  - "When the camera light goes on, I'm not just talking about or show, I'm talking about the Bob Costas show - any time Vince is interviewed, I just wonder, does the camera light go on and Vince's head suddenly go 'Alright, cameras on, time to be a complete idiot.' I, I, I don't know what goes on in Vince's head, I don't know how to read Vince sometimes." Cole throws it to commerical

Backstage, Lita and Billy Gunn exchange idle chatter at the catering table. Billy gets a shot at Matt's European Title. Lita explains the Power Twins Activate thing without actual saying Power Twins. But when Lita leaves, Gunn smiles curls into a scowl. uh oh!

1-800-ATT Call Jeff Hardy the new Light Heavyweight Champion from Thursday

Jeff's had a big week - he beat his brother to advance in the KOTR, and he's also the new Light Heavyweight Champion.

the One Billy Gunn (w/WWF the Music Volume 5) vs Matt Hardy (w/Lita) for the European Title - Billy's a former King of the Ring Champion. He throws his shirt in the crowd. Lockup, Billy's gonna win this most every time but a clean break in the corner. Lockup no Matt with a roll up for one two. Armdrag, Matt to his feet with an armbar. Look at Lita. Gunn backs Mat into the ropes for the break. But it's not clean this time - knee by Gunn, whip, reverses, hip toss blocked and reverse and Mat eventually hits an armdrag and another. Gunn takes his time on the outside and then pulls Matt out - big forearm. Shot into the stairs. Hardy whipped in, turnbuckle shot. Right. Corner whip, rebound neckbreaker cover one two kickout. Cover one two kickout. Cover one two kickout. Gunn wants to reinvigorate his career, they keep telling me so I'll tell you. Right. Corner whip, rebound press slam. Elbow drop elbow drop cover one two kickout. Gunn is aggressive, they keep saying. Rights by Matt but Gunn is having none of it, hair pull and push in the corner. Right right right, Matt is out of the corner but, gets whipped, clothesline misses Matt's DDT hits. One two kickout. Matt with a kick, scream Twist of Fate no Gunn backdrops him but Matt holds on and turns into a sunset flip one tow kickout. Matt ducks the clothesline and tries for backslide one two kickout. Gunn up with a clothesline and that takes him down. Hard mash in toe corner. Right right right. Gunn yells at the ref for yelling at him - Charge in and splash finds nothing.  Matt with a kick TWIST OF FATE one two three (4:39) Hardy retains. Matt and Lita hug. Gunn looks at them celebrating and we get a extreme close up of him. Matt offers a hand slap and gets it. Hi five - no, that's the One and Only! Gunn has a few more words for him - he might have not won, but he got his music played. Also, the heel turn or some such thing.

Backstage, Mick gets the security to sing "I Want Candy." They all gets signed books. Insert Al Snow joke.

Tomorrow night on RAW: More qualifying matches. And those comments from Superstars will be replayed, what a shock.

Mick Foley takes the stage to close it out. And goes off on Alexander Hamilton but realizes that no one really cares about Hamilton. Foley tells us instead that of "Foley is Good", he wanted "Foley is Good Looking." Anyway, he's sure this was the highest rated show ever, he gets cut off for a second as they try to end a couple seconds early (for a show they've shown twenty times before) but does get out that "Raw will be good."

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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