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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




My theory has always been that the WWF would like people to watch their shows. More people, if possible. The problem is, for whatever reason, they can only seem to put together around four hours of television a week (plus a monthly PPV) that feature movement and progression of ideas. That actually wouldn't be a problem if they didn't have four (or five - Blast Off was reborn as Attitude) other hours a week, and the same desire for people to watch those as well. 

More due to circumstance and luck than planning, they got another good ten minutes of progression last week, and the people on Heat (perhaps not wanting to waste a rare opportunity) made very good use of it. In my opinion, they had a killer confrontation and set up a match that people in WWFNY and those watching at home were looking forward to seeing. Just taking a quick browse through past Heat reports, I'd have to say that skit was the best thing they've done on Heat all year, to my memory. This, unlike the many previous goofy and pointless stuff that's been retold, is something I'd want to point to when trying to give a reason for people to watch Heat.

That's not what happened. No clips on RAW or Smackdown (or even Jakked or Excess), no follow up interviews by Al, no one besides Tazz even saying a word about it, and he only barely touched on it.

I used to think that the biggest way to waste the program was to do the silly stuff that means nothing. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's doing something and making it seem important for sixty minutes, and then dropping it, exposing the holes and flaws in the whole set up in the process. When you've got low expectations, you're not as likely to fail. Also, they could stop crushing my hopes and forcing me to realize what a pointless waste the two hours of my life I spend on this show is (bye bye Excess recap - cgfb is doing a fine job anyway.)

Of course, if the best thing for the WWF is for this show to be utterly pointless, then why bother putting resources towards it? I dunno.

wwf attitude. 

Stone Cold/Kurt Angle (2:40)


14 days from Unforgiven, but no time away from WWFNY and Heat. Your announcers Michael Cole and Al Snow. It was a bad week for Steve Austin. Kurt Angle got his title shot. Al says Austin started all of this. Cole says "two weeks from tonight" for the forth time since this show started.

Chuck Palumbo vs Spike Dudley (w/Molly Holly) - Booker T, later. Kanyon defends the US Title, too. Off all the people in WCW, the Perfect Event wouldn't have been high on the list of people who'd still be in the WWF six months later, but I guess we can do worse than Chuck. Spike's using the older Dudleyz music. Lockup, headlock by Spike, Chuck throws him down. Spike up, lockup again, headlock takedown. Booker T insisted on a red carpet. Please don't notice Jonathon Coachman and Michael Hayes at the arena announce desk. Palumbo tries to do the leg scissors reversal but blows it (closing his legs without getting them around Spike's head, Spike lets go anyway and is up to his feet, headlock takedown, leg scissors (away from the camera), Spike apparently isn't affected and gets right up, headlock, turning it into a reverse neckbreaker. Palumbo goes into the corner while Spike points at his head - apparently, he's very proud of doing a reverse neckbreaker. Spike yells at Palumbo to come on and eventually (and I mean eventually) he does, going down to a not good looking drop toe hold. Off the ropes, back elbow by Palumbo. Chuck throws Spike out through the middle ropes. To the outside. Picking Spike up over his shoulder and walking to the barricade - dropping him neck first on it. Throwing Spike in. Are Molly and Chuck wearing the same color? Remember when Molly wrestled? Stomp. Kick to the back. Stomp. Stomp. Choke on the bottom ropes with a neck to the back. Ref is Mike Sparks and he doesn't like that. Turnbuckle smash and beating in the corner. Chuck starts with the playful slapping of the face and Spike manages to escape the corner and pound on him. Chuck pushes him down. Spike's up and charges on him - overhead belly to belly suplex. Cover one two Spike grabs the bottom rope. Throw in the corner. Corner whip, Chuck charges into  Spike's shoulder. Jumping over and hitting the sunset flip one two (not good) kickout. Corner whip, reversed, Spike with a boot up. Now he's going to the second rope - double stomp. Al wants to make Farmer's Daughters jokes about Molly. Spike setting up for the Dudley Dog but Palumbo pushes him off and into the ropes, JUNGLE KICK! One two three. (2:45) He was gonna hit that move win or lose, you know. Stare at Spike on the mat. Spike was on Excess last night. So was Josh. Tough Enough 2 is coming up.

In the back, Booker T doesn't trust the waiter guy. Also, he doesn't like the People's Sundae. And then he starts ordering a Booker T-Bone Steak, a Spinneronie Salad. Booker T likes his steak well done. How about some Sucka Back Ribs too? The waiter starts protesting that those menu items aren't actually real, and after Booker T questions if, indeed, those words were uttered, the waiter decides to see what he can do. Booker T gets that look in his eye and the waiter annoys him some more. Why is WWF Heat featuring an Alliance guy? 

Cole and Snow can stand in a different position but this is still the same throw to a video package - Edge/Christian. I have no Bakardi Slang prepared, but I really like saying "T Dot O" (2:00) What does the family think? Match at Unforgiven. 

Booker T talks to himself in the mirror. It takes a while to reveal the mirror but it's not exactly a surprise. 

AT&T Broadband makes me want to kill a little bit more, each time they do the local drop in with the Cartoon Network/Toonami commercial, despite not actually making the channel available to me. It's not like they can't give us the channel - a goof last winter after a Chi-Wolves game caused it to be shown for a half hour and I got to see a pretty good Dragon Ball Z episode out of it.

Slim Jim Whatever of Whatever

Tommy Dreamer (SCSA Shirt) vs Tajiri (w/Torrie Wilson) - Al drops Terry Funk's name. That was Tajiri on RAW to set up this, and Tajiri might not be a 100% because of that table - he's got his ribs taped.. Circle. Lockup, Dreamer pushes Tajiri in the corner. Right misses, Tajiri kicks him in the butt and mocks him. Everyone is happy for Tajiri. Except Dreamer. Dreamer with a kick, right, right, whip, hiptoss, reversed into an abdominal stretch and Tajiri spanks Dreamer. Dreamer has enough of that and hiptosses out. Whip, cross body caught and slammed to the mat. Off the ropes, elbow drop to the back. Al says that Tajiri was trained by Hugh Morrus and Ricky Santana, among others. Choke in front of Torrie. Corner whip, Tajiri falls down. Side backbreaker. Cover one two kickout. Cole has trouble with names. Whip, Lo Down, laying down on Tajiri for the cover, one two kickout. Bearhug. Al is telling jokes to kill time. That's kind of generic - he's doing a Top 11 reasons to go to work naked. Tajiri's battling out. Face bite and that'll work. Strong kick to the head. Whip, reversed, handspring back elbow, cover one two kickout. Corner whip, reversed, Tarantula. Ref Chad Patten ignores the whole ropes thing and looks for a submission. Tajiri lets go first and grabs his back. Cole caught that submission where it shouldn't be stuff. Tajiri with a series of body strikes and a yell. Big kick misses, kick wham DDT. Tajiri falls out of the ring and Torrie goes to help him. Dreamer tries to pull Tajiri in the ring by the hair, but he slides in under the first rope and kicks Dreamer in the butt again. Dreamer is bent over - strong kick to the head, cover one two kickout. (3:52) Tajiri is still hurting and Torrie helps him up - there's a kiss for victory. And another. Tajiri might pass out from that instead. 

WM Press Conference. (1:30) Al pushes that cities all over the world were vying for the right to host WrestleMania. That must've been why Tampa lost - they just didn't prove that the city had the infrastructure to support such an event.

Time for the sitdown interview with Booker T. Cole makes a deal of the red carpet, so they wouldn't ruin Booker T's shoes. That red carpet has WWF logos on it. Handshakes all around. I miss Stevie. I really do. Booker T is a close personal friend of mine (I wish) but this isn't going anywhere and we all know it, so no transcribing. Booker T and Al exchange shoe comments and the crowd chants for the Rock. He's going to win it back. Why does he need a handicap match if he's so great? It was Shane's idea. Booker T has to stop often for the Rocky chant. Booker's mic has a WWFNY logo on it. "Piss" is bleeped. Al makes fun of Booker T saying "axe" and "sucka." Booker queries if those words were truly spoken. The fans are more interesting in their chant and booing Booker T. He's got that look. But then the fans distract him with their chant and the fans aren't worthy of seeing it. He's a number one best seller, and he's leaving. 

Lugz Kronic Attack of Last Tuesday - you don't want to know how often the WWF announcers forget what day their show aired on the syndis. 

Booker T grabs his stuff and promises to take out the Rock in Texas. 

Al mocks Cole for causing the second guest in two weeks to leave. Cole blames it on Al and steals a Coach catchphrase.

who betta than Kanyon vs Scotty 2 Hotty for the WCW US Title - Brian Hebner is your referee. Circle. Clap. Headlock by Scotty, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Celebrate. Off the ropes, over, over, kick caught, flip, clothesline ducked, off the ropes, flying headscissors. Clothesline and Kanyon goes out. Scotty takes off his shirt, off the ropes, baseball slide dropkick never works and Kanyon with a right. Throw in. Kanyon to the apron. Right blocked, return by Scotty. Shoulder to he gut, slide outside and leg trip on the apron. Kanyon thrown in. Kanyon with a kick, right, right. Why would anyone NOT assume that Steven Richards and Kronic have some sort of alliance? Yea, it's possible that it'll turn out that they don't, but when people work together like that, it's not a leap to think they're probably together. Why do the commentators act like it's some big mystery? Are they told to act dumb so we can feel superior? Corner whip, charge in, Scotty gets the boot up, up the second rope but Kanyon gets a forearm in - second rope Russian legsweep. Slow to cover one two kickout. Fireman's carry, up to the second rope again, "Who's better than Kanyon?", Scotty slips behind and gets a sunset flip, now holding Kanyon up and walking away from the corner, big powerbomb. Both men down. Hebner counts to five and Scotty controls the punching. Whip, backdrop. Scotty gets that look, off the ropes, right into a Northern Lights Suplex one two kickout. Clothesline misses, superkick connects, one two kickout. Short clothesline is blocked and turned into a backslide by Kanyon, but before he can get Scotty over, Scotty back flips (so now the hold is lose and they're facing each other), kick to the gut, off the ropes, two hand bulldog. W O R M. Scotty celebrates, whip, no reversed I'm Better Than You (not called) - one two three. (3:40

The Tough Enough Soundtrack (voice over by Alliance member Tazz) features "Bombshell" by Powerman 5000, "Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm, "Stuipify" by Disturbed (previously unreleased live version), "Digital Bath" by Deftones, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, "Dead Cell" by Papa Roach (previously unreleased live version), "Awake" by Godsmack and the Tough Enough Theme Song. Also, MudVayne, Saliva, Pressure 4-5, Buckcherry and more. In stores 9/18.

Booker T is just now leaving, ten minutes after we saw him grab his stuff, and he's getting in a limo. Wow.

Angle/Austin/RVD (3:40) Al's password is "Dangerous Game." Watch RAW.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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