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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




For the first time in history, an undisputed champion will be crowned. It's been a while, but they're back in WWFNY. That's still located in Times Square in New York. Your hosts are Tazz and Michael Cole - Tazz says he's giving Cole the rub again but I don't want to know. X-Pac is the guest later! Cole has a lot of questions for him and that makes me think he'll get to ask none for some reason.

Bradshaw vs Chuck Palumbo - Later on, Faarooq vs Billy Gunn. Neither man's partner comes out. I'm waiting for them to remember this was all set up by the upset win last week but I don't think I should hold my breath. Two matches will be added to Vengeance tonight. Lockup, Bradshaw with a headlock, holding it, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Cole nicely retells the "Why Palumbo still has a job" story for those who may have missed it. Forearm. Knee. Forearm. Corner whip, Palumbo falls down. Forearm. Whip, reversed, head down too soon so Bradshaw hits a forearm. Bradshaw waits for Palumbo to get up - chop. Suplex. One two no. Whip, big boot. One two no. Turnbuckle shot. Corner whip, Bradshaw charges into a boot. Off the ropes, clothesline. Tazz calls it "the clothesline from Heaven." Slam. Cole calls it just like he does in the video game. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Decent APA chant. Cover one two no. Palumbo goes up - flying cross body works (!) one two shoulder up. Turnbuckle smash. Right, kick, right, kick, talk to the ref. Corner whip, running cross body is caught this time, and here's the blockbuster suplex. One two no. Pulling Chuck for a powerbomb, but Chuck blocks it, so Bradshaw gets in another forearm - backdrop by Palumbo. Discus punch by Bradshaw. Stomps. Right. Torrie (w/Tajiri) next. "She can't wrestle but you gotta see her box, Cole!" Tazz laughs and Cole tries to just sidestep that - Chuck with a whip, but Bradshaw hits a swinging neckbreaker. Watch Chuck sell it, then start to sit up, then realize he's supposed to still be selling it and die all of the sudden. Hey, the one Billy Gunn is walking to the ring. Hey, Faarooq is walking to the ring. Fans are solidly on APA's side here. Back in the ring, Bradshaw hits a corner clothesline. Back outside the ring, Gunn and Faarooq are having a conversation. JUNGLE KICK (really not good one but still) but ref Jimmy's too busy talking with the two guys outside the ring and doesn't see Chuck trying for the cover. Chuck gets up to turn Korderas around - clothesline from Hell. one two three. (4:36) Hmm, Gunn dived in the ring to try to break up the pin but was too late. Faarooq doesn't like that and these two meet later. Faarooq: "Damn"

X-Pac is our special guest tonight, but earlier, we had a camera trailing him on the streets of NYC for no particular reason. X-Pac (holding his WWF LH Belt), is just bebopping down the street, and comes across a (female) Santa Claus, "Happy New Year, Merry Christmas!" X-Pac drops in a coin (maybe - he acted like he was but I sure didn't see any), finds out it's for the homeless, and keeps on going. And then the Santa starts chanting "X-Pac Sucks!" That ain't right. X-Pac gets in Santa's face, as Santa tries to cover with a Merry Christmas. "Yea, Merry Christmas. I heard you what you said. 'X-Pac Sucks', huh?" "Merry Christmas!" "What would you know about? You see this? [Shows belt.] This means I'm the best there is, and  - this don't come down a chimney, you know? All right then." X-Pac walks away - and once he's far enough away, the Santa resumes her chant. "X-Pac Sucks!"

On sale this week, Limp Bizkit remixed. Why? Cole's a big fan. A great Christmas present! This gets Tazz started on a Red Hook story.

Funaki vs Tajiri (w/Torrie Wilson but no belt) - He's not Sho to Tony Chimel. Funaki (who's growing out his hair or is just late getting a hair cut) must have a deal with the Fink. Tazz thinks that maybe, that wasn't the real Santa. Torrie is wearing a...corset, right? Something to make her breasts look bigger (and herself look slimmer) isn't quite descriptive enough. Torrie and Tajiri mock Funaki's bow. That ain't right. Funaki double takes. How can someone mock him? Bless Michael Cole's heart - while Tazz is talking about how much of a stud Tajiri must be, Cole wastes no time in saying that Tajiri is (now) the WWF Crusierweight Champion. Tazz distracts him in mid thought, though. Tajiri with an armbar, somersault reversal by Funaki, somersault reversal by Tajiri (Tazz is acting like Cole is annoyed with him (and he could be) because he said Cole probably knew how much of a stud Tajiri was and it's very distracting), Tajiri with arm drag. Spin kick! Cole really wanted to bring up how Tajiri lost the LH title to X-Pac earlier this year - I kinda figured X-Pac might have something to say during this match but I guess we'll find out his thoughts later. Funaki wants a handshake, Tajiri accepts, short clothesline. Funaki's no dummy. Stomp. Stomp. Charge, backdrop to the apron, standing back kick knocks Funaki to the floor. Announced earlier today - Edge vs William Regal at Vengeance for the IC Title. Tajiri throws Funaki in, push in the corner, chop, open hand slap, corner whip, reversed, Funaki charges in, Tajiri leapfrogs him and ends up behind with a waistlock, Funaki with a go behind, Funaki pushes Tajiri in the corner and rolls away. Tajiri charges out and right into a drop toe hold. Funaki walks up Tajiri's back and then hits the dropkick to the head. Celebrate! Tazz bumbles through his "they're not really Japanese" jokes. Funaki with a jawbreaker. Choke on the ropes. Funaki: [point to a fan] "Shut up!" Whip, reversed, Tajiri puts his head down too soon, Funaki whips Tajiri into a corner, rebound bulldog. One two no. Tazz says that bulldog should've been called a Sharpi, since they're Japanese bulldogs. Snap suplex. One two no. Whip, no Tajiri has the ropes, so Fuanki will chop him. Try again, but Tajiri with a sweep, off the ropes, dropkick to the head. Tajiri is getting pumped. Whipped, reversed, handspring elbow. Superkick is ducked and Funaki hits a back suplex. Corner whip, reversed, Funaki gets a boot up, up to the second rope, Tajiri's punch is blocked, Fuanki's hits, Tornado DDT but Tajiri pushes him off, Funaki charges into the corner, Tarantula. Referee Brian asks for a break and gets it. Knockout kick. One two three. (3:58) Torrie's happy. 

X-Pac is sipping on a beverage and being unhappy about the slow service tonight. Oh, and his French fires spell out "X-Pac Sucks." That's why it took so long, you see. X-Pac complains about this treatment to the waitress - "I tip you as good or better than anyone else that comes in this place! think X-Pac Sucks? Get out of her, girl! Just get!"

PS2 #1 Tag Team Contender Match Of Last Thursday

We're at the interview set, and Cole and Tazz explain the matches that came out of that - Kane/Big Show vs the Dudleyz and Matt vs Jeff at Vengeance. Here's X-Pac, with his DX mix. He gets more cheers, actually. Showing off his belt. This transcript is dedicated to the people at (because only they will care.)

X-Pac: What's up fellas!

Tazz: What's up, Pac! Let's get this thing going, real quick. I got to ask you something, right off the bat - I myself had a bad neck injury a few years back-

X-Pac: Yea, I do 

Tazz: -how's your neck doing, man?

X-Pac: It's better and it's doing good. Hey, look, I only have a little bit of, uh, physical therapy time left, they just, the doctors, my surgeon just want me to be back where I was when I came back from the surgery. Once I get there, I'll be back. Soon.

Cole: I'll tell you, I can't wait to see you back in action, but after seeing have how some of the people have treated you out in the street of New York City, and some of the fans have treated you as of late, I mean, why do you think some of the fans have been treating you the way they have been, all this X-Pac Sucks stuff. [boos]

X-Pac: Honestly [pause for boos], honestly, it's because I'm here and they're there. [X-Pac Sucks chant] If you look [pause for chant] I remember, even with Reggie Jackson, when he played for the Yankees around here, don'tcha, you guys remember Reggie Jackson? Well, he used to go around, all around, he'd get booed, one time a sportswriter asked him, this was when he was uh [pause because of confusion] with the Yankees [stoner laugh] 'Don't you get mad when they boo you?' and he goes 'You gotta be somebody to get booed.' 

Tazz: Good point. That's a good point.

X-Pac: I mean, I've done a lot in this business, I've done a lot in the World Wrestling Federation, you know, I've been in there with everybody, up and down, up and down the, uh, roster, man. You know, Taker, Show, the Rock, this guy, that guy, ol Flair, I've been in there, Piper, you name it, I've been in there and I've done it.

Cole: You talk about, you know, wanting people to respect everything you've been through, who do you respect in this business?

X-Pac: I'll tell you who I respect in this business, and it's a guy, you know, who finnaly did what he had to do, and his name is Undertaker. [cheers, then boos]

Cole: Really?

X-Pac: Yea.

Tazz: You and Undertaker have been here in the World Wrestling Federation, probably close to around the same time, so-

X-Pac: Yea, long time. He's OT (?) (OG - CRZ), he's the whole Godfather of this, uh Yard. 

Tazz: Yea, I haven't been here as long as you, and I know that

X-Pac: But I came shortly after, and believe me, times were good, and then times were real bad. And I seen this guy tape up cracked ribs, put a mask over his face because his face was crushed, just to go out in front of these people when there wasn't many of them - when there weren't man fans of ours at one point. And it was him, it was Undertaker that built this damn thing back up, and then all this young guys are coming in here, and they're trying to do what they're trying to do, I'm not going take that away from them, but they're not going to do it on the backs of guys like Taker and the backs of guys like me. We earned our stripes, and they mean something around here, damn it. [mixed reaction, more cheers]

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for X-Pac! [mixed]

The end was nice but you know what I really would have liked would been him bringing up the title he was holding there.

Crash Bandicoot Regal Interference of Last Thursday. Announcers reminds us that now a match at Vengeance. Here's a black and white graphic for it. Also now added, Trish takes on Miss Jackie - probably because of her upset win over Lita last week, though it goes unmentioned - Cole does remember it was supposed to take place on Smackdown so maybe this is a make good.

Spike Dudley vs Test - Test IS tall, but I still don't like Spike's odds here. So, like, when they talk about Test being cocky and acting like he can get away with anything, because he can't be fired, is that a vague shot at Nash? Test goes under the top rope, so probably not. Test is offended to have to deal with the likes of Spike Dudley. Lockup, push down. Words words words Test goes to his knees to make this more fair. Putting up his dukes and challenging Spike - so Spike slaps him. Test doesn't like that - now he's up and now Spike's out of the ring and Test chases and Spike back in and Test in but Spike hits him with a sliding dropkick to knock him out. Rights. Spike to the apron - cross body caught and dropped on the barrier. Pick up and lets drop him again. Break the count. Spike thrown in. Test getting in. Right. Forearm. Slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop misses. Spike with punches, whip, reversed, crucifix roll up but Test isn't going down, and then he does go down at speed and angle Spike surely cannot enjoy. One two no. Turnbuckle smash. Kick to the kidneys. Spike chant. Corner whip, Spike comes out with the headbutt to the gut. Another. Off the ropes, Test's clothesline misses, Spike hits his forearm. Kick, Dudley Dog but Test throws him off and almost to the other corner. Setting up for it - there's the boot but Spike ducks. Rights, corner whip, reversed, Spike gets a leg up, off the second rope and right into the boot.  One two three. (3:31) Test glares at Spike. 

Undertaker's Sacrifice by Creed. I bet Undertaker's a huge Creed fan. (2:00)

The week in Undertaker. (2:28) Talk about how Tazz got beat up. Let's look at the graphic. Here's a screwed up camera cut. Here's a PPV promo.

Is Allstate still not sold out? I think we figured that it's better to watch it from home, and also the show isn't that interesting and we're cheap.

4 Superstars, 3 Matches, 2 Titles, 1 Undisputed Champion. Brother vs Brother - who's side will Lita be on? Kane and Big Show vs Dudley Boyz for the Tag Team Titles. Undertaker vs Rob Van Dam. Edge vs William Regal for the IC Title. Trish Stratus vs Miss Jackie for the Women's Title. Hey, wow, 6 matches a week before the show happens - that's amazing!

the one billy gunn vs Faarooq - Gunn is hopping around on one leg a lot for some reason. Feel the tension! Faarooq dives in the ring so Gunn stomps him. Here's some kicks. Turnbuckle smash. Right. Whip, reversed, powerslam by Faarooq. One two no. Kick to the side. Corner whip, Gunn gets kick down, then Faarooq throws him out. Into the barricade. Corner whip, reversed, Faarooq into the steps. Gunn breaks the count, Faarooq's head into the steps. Brought back in, and Gunn gets to stomping and forearms. APA chant brings some life back in to Faarooq. There's a knee to stop him. Stomp. Cover one two no. Punches on the mat. Suplex. One two no. Gunn waits for Faarooq to get up, looks like he's setting up for the Fameasser, off the ropes, Faarooq spinebuster! But it took a lot of Faarooq and they're both down. Both up at four. Faarooq wins the punch battle, whip, Faarooq puts his head down too soon and Gunn hits an especially painful looking Fameasser (the bottom leg ending up under Faarooq's head, sandwiching him.) Gunn is slow to cover - Bradshaw in to break up the cover before it can even happen. (DQ 2:28) Bradshaw with the beatdown but Palumbo is in to knock him out of the ring - now Bradshaw grabs a chair and wants back in but the refs are out to block his way. APA walks off, and Cole and Tazz give their final hype for RAW...

And then realize they have more time left to kill and have to hype more. That's it.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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