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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




TV PG LV Attitude


Wow, New York is busy.  Cole tells us they're all coming to WWFNY. It's HEAT! Your announcers are Tazz and Michael Cole - Tazz looks taller this week. Must be a bigger box. RVD vs Christian! Tajiri/Spike vs the Dudleyz! Al Snow as the guest host! That means they couldn't find anyone, right? Cole makes a Snow joke and it's as good as you'd think.

the Hurricane (w/Mighty Molly) vs Crash - It's the season for the festive graphics. Back to back pose! Molly is back because? I wonder if Crash remembers that they were cousins? Crash isn't one of Tazz's favorite wrestlers is your inside joke of the week. Crash wants at Hurricane (ref Chad Patten stops him) so maybe he does? Lockup. Knee, forearm to the back, forearm to the back, whip, back elbow. Turnbuckle smash. Kicks to the chest, yell at Molly. Hurricane takes advantage with the running snap neckbreaker but it looks not good. Right. Whip, hiptoss. Whip, reversed, Crash's clothesline misses, Helms with the goozle! Thumbs up, but before he can actually hit the chokeslam, Crash elbows out. Crash off the ropes, right into the Sugar Smack. One two no. Oh wait, Tazz says that's a SuperHeroKick, I shall remember from now on. Corner whip. Right right. I'm very distracted by the guy in the Hurricane get up in the second row. The mindset of such an individual. Anyway, Crash battles out of the corner with an eye poke and a clothesline. Yell to the crowd - I guess he's not the good guy here. Stomping. Mean looks to the crowd. Crash grabs the cape! Crash does the Hurricane spin! I wonder if the super powers are transferable. Now Crash is putting on the cape and going to the top rope - it works just as well for Crash (Hurricane crotches him.) Crash with a right right right and Crash is thrown out - running rope assisted somersault plancha! That should so really be a bullet tope. Crash thrown back in. Here's a replay. Hurricane to the top - cross body one two no. Corner whip, reversed, Crash charges into a boot. Hurricane goes up - shoulder, maybe? Maybe another screwed up neckbreaker? One two no. Cole reminds us that Hurricane was rehired by Ric Flair. And Molly? Who knows. Vertabreaker-no Crash escapes kick wham DDT. Weird sell by Hurricane - he bounced up because his head hurt so much, then collapsed. Cover one two no. Corner whip, splash in but no one home. Hurricane goes after Crash but Crash flapjacks him on the top rope. Patten checks on Hurricane and Molly goes up - missile dropkick on Crash! I guess they won't be exchanging Christmas cards. Eye of the Hurricane (called!) one two three. (3:53) Tazz and Cole hype up the rest of the show. Two title matches! Tazz says tomatoes. 

Chuck Palumbo and Billy Gunn (w/ugly hair) vs Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert - For the Holidays, Chuck and Billy went an ugly shade of blonde. They're also definitely heels now. They love themselves - can you do that on MTV? Probably. Cole says Zoo Crew, no. Tazz goes off on Lawler because he called him short - "I know Lawler's a giant in his own right." Cole say the winner of this match probably will move up the rankings and get a shot at the Dudley Boyz down the line (but what if Tajiri and Spike win? hahaha) which makes me wonder if they do use the ladder system. Also, where did the APA go? Circle. Lockup. You ref is Jimmy Korderas. Gunn with the jabs. Kick. Corner whip but Albert is going anywhere. Gunn with more kicks, whip, reversed into a short clothesline. Albert does, um, Miss Jackie's lasso dance? I don't know. I don't want to know. Giant spin! 5 and 1/4 rotations! Albert's dizzy, Gunn does a Gunn flop but manages to tag Palumbo. Palumbo runs towards the dizzy Albert, but Albert's not that dizzy and clotheslines him. Tag to Scotty. Right Right. Whip, reversed, clothesline missed, Scotty (who's hair is awful flat this week, wonder what's with that) dances. Palumbo's punch is blocked, Scotty punches, corner whip, reverses, Palumbo charges into boots, Scott charges out into the belly to belly overhead throw. Scotty thrown on. Stomp by Gunn. Scotty thrown back in stomp. Tag to Gunn. Hold for Gunn jab. Jab. Clothesline. One two no. One two no. Scotty thrown into Chuck's boot. Tag? No, Gunn will distract Albert and Korderas so Palumbo can come in and stomp the crap out of Scotty. Boot choke. I think someone was supposed to fake a tag there but they don't but Korderas doesn't question Chuck being in. Choke by Gunn from the outside. Stomp by Palumbo. Tag and now Gunn's back in. Turnbuckle smash. Scotty comes back with punches but Gunn gets in a knee. Boot scrape. Tag to Chuck. Hold for Palumbo's punch. Whip, clothesline misses, Scotty's superkick is caught, spun around, Scotty with the kick wham DDT. Palumbo does the funny headstand sell. Both men need a tag. Albert needs a tag. What is Albert doing? He's putting on Scotty's visor! Tag to Gunn, tag to Albert! Clothesline for Gunn! Clothesline for Palumbo. Right for Gunn, right for Chuck. Rights for everyone, cabbage patch rights! Gunn retreats to the corner only to get the AlbertSmash. The visor falls of into the process. Tag to to Scotty, and Gunn's in position, off the ropes and right into a back elbow. Scissors kick by Albert takes down Gunn, and Palumbo charges but is easily ducked and goes out on his own. Albert follows out to fight him but Palumbo gets the best of the brawling. Scotty's up - wait, Billy's laying in position already! Dance, W O R M, trip by Palumbo! Gunn up first - Fameasser! One two three! (5:32) Hey, they were the legal men. I believe Palumbo and Gunn's advantage was not having a stupid team name.

Two title matches to come.

Al Snow is here and walking around the crowd with a Santa Hat. He pulls a Bret Hart with it, even. Is he going to go the interview set? Eventually. He doesn't have much to say so why not kill some time. Tazz offers a handshake - Al is thinking about it. "Hey, let's let bygones be bygones, it's the Holidays, what's done is done, shake hands?" Al looks to the crowd, thinks about it some more, yes, they shake hands. There's the end of the best feud that never had a match. Anyway, look back at the Tough Enough float in the parade of some sort. Al says it was fun. Bob Holly did not like the Santa hat this time either. Tough Enough 2's casting special airs 2/28/02. Things have been going great. They're kids are bigger, more athletic and progressing faster. Different attitude from the kids, though, and less hugging. Tazz is down with that. Al talks up the show. This is like a practice interview for making the talk show rounds, right? That's it, anyway.

When we come back, Tazz knocks a decoration off the table because he doesn't like it. Kid Rock's doing the Royal Rumble song and whatever. There's a stuffed animal for the crowd.

Dudley Boyz (w/Stacy Keibler) vs Spike nolastname & WWF Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri (w/Torrie Wilson) for the WWF Tag Team Championship - Champions come out because it's Heat. Tajiri has his belt! Cole calls this an opportunity of the lifetime but probably not the only one. The faces run in the ring and get beat up for it. Spike tossed out by Bubba while D-Von beats up Tajiri. Whip, reversed, shoulderblock by D-Von. Off the ropes, over the ropes, hiptoss blocked and D-Von clotheslines Tajiri. Pulling him up by his hair, corner whip, D-Von charge into a boot, Tajiri charges out to a powerslam. Cover one two no. Tag to Bubba. Bubba with a shot to the gut, shot the head, right right right. Open hand slap. Tajiri's hung up near the ropes. Pull up by his hair, whip, Bubba clothesline misses and Tajiri hits a spin kick. Tag to Spike who goes up - missile dropkick. One two NO. Right right right off the ropes, right into a press slam. Elbow drop. Elbow drop. Yelling axhandle drop. Stomp. Your ref is Brian Hebner. Slam. Right for Tajiri. Bubba tells D-Von to go up and Brian has to go out of his way to be distracted by Tajiri (because Tajiri's still selling the shot and not in the ring yet to be distracted) which look bad. There's the flying headbutt. D-Von spin and measures him up. Cover one two no. Right. D-Von misses with a right, Spike with rights, corner whip, reversed and Spike goes in chest first hard. Stomp. Shot into Bubba's boot. Tag to Bubba. Neckbreaker. Chin lock with hair pull. Spike elbows out. Off the ropes, right into a clothesline. Slam. Bubba goes to the second rope, senton that never hits. Everyone needs a tag. Tag to D-Von and tag to Tajiri. Punch blocked and Spike hits about a million strikes. Corner whip, reversed, D-Von charges in and finds nothing, but Tajiri's boot finds D-Von's chest. Tajiri with a kick to the back, kick to the chest, kick to the Bubba. Corner whip, reversed, Tarantula. Stacy with an eye rake to break it up and Torrie's running after her. Stacy in the ring and Torrie after her. Stacy tries to leave but runs into Tajiri - Torrie with the takedown and the fight is on. Tajiri's watching and D-Von gets a forearm from behind. Whip, handspring elbow by Tajiri. Cover one two Bubba tries an elbow drop but Tajiri moves and D-Von gets it. Tajiri set up - big kick to Bubba. Tag to Spike, flying cross body, one two th-NO! Right, whip, reversed, 3D! One two three. (5:51) Tajiri comes in well too late (I guess he was fighting with Bubba off camera) and gets thrown back out.

Still to come, RVD vs Christian.

PS2 Big Bossman returns of Last Thursday

Triple H/U2 long version (2:56)

RVD/Christian next.

Lugz Stereo Figure Fours of Last Monday

Cole and Tazz discuss the failing relationship between Flair and Vince.

CHRISTIAN vs Rob Van Dam for the European Title - Champion comes out first because that's how they do it in Europe. Wow, that's the ugliest RVD tights yet. You ref is Brian Hebner. Circle. RVD chant. Lockup, armbar by RVD, hammerlock, hammerlock, headlock by Christian, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, over, into the monkey flip. Slam no Christian falls behind in the waistlock, RVD elbows but that's no go, RVD runs grabs the ropes and Christian can't pull him back. Christian charges and is backdropped to the floor. RVD catapults to the apron, Asai moonsault off but Christian moves but RVD lands on his feet anyway. Christian clothesline moves, kick, warning to the fans, Christian dropped chest first on the ring barrier. RVD to the apron, point, corkscrew legdrop. Christian throws RVD back in, catapult legdrop, one two no.  Kick is caught by Christina, he ducks the reverse enzuiguri, slop drop one two no. Forearms to the back, stomps. Chop. Right. RVD fights back with forearms of his home, Christian pushed into the corner, forearms, shoulders to the gut, back flip and charge but Christian moves out of the way and RVD goes into the post - roll up one two NO. Christian might have got his feet on the ropes. Right. Whip, powerslam. One two no. Choke on the mat. One tow three four and he lets go. Christian does the point. Choke on the ropes one two three four. Snap mare, kick to the back. Chin lock. Back to their feet, elbows out, right but Christian gets a knee in. Kick caught and now RVD hits his wacky spin kick. Rights and a spin kick. Kicks to the midsection, shoulder to the gut, corner whip,  somersault roll into a monkey flip (I guess) but Christian pushes him away. RVD lands on his feet, Christian charges out but RVD charges by and under - springboard cross body one two NO. Dropkick to the head, off the ropes, Rolling Thunder onto Christian's knees! Rollup one two NO! Corner whip, Christian charges into an elbow. RVD up - but Christian crotches him. Right. Superplex? Top rope variety - but RVd pushes him off! Five Star Frog Splash hits! RVD is too hurt to cover - Chris Jericho is in to make sure he's too hurt to do anything at all (DQ 5:24) Jericho smartly kicks the hurt ribs right off. Stomping and kicking and stomping and kicking and throwing him into the ring post shoulder first once and again. Breakdown! Play his music! Christian has already taken his belt and gone home. Jericho makes the "I HAVE the belt" motion, I guess.

On RAW, he might not have it much longer - it's Jericho vs the Rock on Christmas Eve! Happy Holidays from Heat.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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