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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




TV 14 (no letters?) entertainment open fireworks

Lita get her music so she can walk to the announce desk. Your announcers are Lita and Coach - everyone's very excited. Or something.

Steven Richards vs WWE Tag Team Champion the Hurricane (w/two weeks ago) - I wonder if they'll bring up her stint on Velocity - nah, we're gonna talk about Lita v Eric. Lita talks over the beginning of Hurricane's music and then says "double choke slam" in the least enthusiastic sounding voice ever. Hurricane wants a handshake but Steven slaps it away. Coach and Lita discuss secret identities. Circle. Hurricane ducks the lockup, eye poke. Whip, reversed, Hurricane with a shoulderblock. Pose. Off the ropes, over, hiptoss turned into a bodyscissors cradle for Hurricane one two no. Steven up with a knee, forearm on the back, slam. Pose! Hurricane armdrags him down, whip, hiptoss. Hurricane going up (without the cape) cross body one to no. Lita: "If he had the cape, he might have had that one" - will reading my mind make up for sounding bored? I dunno. Wristlock. Headlock by Hurricane. Steven tries to elbow out. Coach: "...I love D'Lo..." Lita (& me): "You LOVE D'Lo?" Hurricane tries a whip, its' blocked and pulled into a - I guess that's an Exploder. Stomping by Steven. Matt's not gonna like Coach hitting on Lita like that. Forearms to the back. Forearms to the chest. Hurricane with rights back, off the ropes, cross body. Steven with a back elbow. Stomp stomp stomp stomp yelling. Kick arm raise suplex. One two no. Reverse neckbreaker hold - he stole this from Raven! Actually it's slightly different than the one Raven was using - Hurricane is still on his feet, but Steven is on his knees. Hurricane feels the crowd, up to his feet, climbing the corner, flipping over in front of Steven. Rights, corner whip, reversed into a short clothesline, Hurricane ducks and hits a jumping neckbreaker. Lita no-sells Coach's flirts before he can even get them out. Both are down, but then Hurricane does that superhero thing he does, popping up to his feet. Clothesline misses, Hurricane with the jumping forearm. Right. Turnbuckle smash, Hurricane going up - Coach: "Huge Russian Neckbreaker" To you and me (but maybe just me), that's the Overcast one two no. Whip, reversed, slam, Hurricane goes behind, inverted atomic drop. Hurricane slaps his knee - there's the Shining Wizard. One two foot on the ropes. No one knows the name. Eye of the Hurricane (Lita calls it) is pushed off, Steven picks him up in a fireman's carry - powerbomb! Wow, too bad Steven can't win this match because that's like a real finish one two NO told you. Steven's loading up the boot for our government mandated SUPERKICK but of course it's caught, Steven clothesline is ducked and there's the (clip here) Eye of the Hurricane. He's not done though - goozle, no, Steven elbows out. Steven recovers in the corner, but Hurricane is after him - Steven with a back elbow and inside cradle with an arm grabbing the ropes and a foot on it (6:02) wait, three? That can't be right, but it is. I can't believe it. Lita and Coach talk about that ending, and D'Lo vs Raven - Lita thinks tonight, they'll finally settle the score.

In case you forget, Lita broke her neck doing a cameo on a show that got canceled; here's the footage with surgery and fun stuff. Although they've never actually come out and said it clearly for whatever, I think what I pieced together was that Lita was practicing the 'rana on the stunt double and the stunt double didn't hold her up right at one part and Lita got dropped on her head. (:40)

Spike Dudley vs Justin Credible - Lita needs to work on not talking over Fink, I think. She hopes to be back at WM, but is being told 7 months right now. Everyone loves the Space Needle. Lockup, Spike wins? Well he turned it around to Justin in the corner at the last sedan at any rate. Justin with an eye poke, kick the leg, right to the head. Corner whip, reversal, Justin slide short of the corner (this time) but turns into a hiptoss, hiptoss, reverse neckbreaker. Lita makes it sound like the IC title is history after the PPV. Justin rolls out - Lita shows amazing knowledge of Justin's catchphrase. Justin starts to leave but he's thrown back in and now he's begging off. Handshake - no, Spike bites it! Corner whip, reverses, Justin charge into a boot. Spike goes up - double axhandle meets SUPERKICK! COVER HIM! One two no you took too long. Turnbuckle smash and kick down in the corner. Pulling powerbomb one two no. Whip, Spike ducks the clothesline and hits the crossbody one two no. Justin with a clothesline, cover one two no. Chinlock. RAW ROULETTE. Justin cranking it in. Coach: "What if two guys, say Spike and Justin, spin the wheel and they got to do a Bra and Panties match? How great would that be?" Spike battling back up. Off the ropes, Spike with a sunset flip but Justin counters with a punch. Pose - oh no Spike finishes the sunset flip one two no. If I mentioned every time Coach says something dumb, we'd be here all day - but he did it here too. Spike with a clothesline that misses, Justin with a headlock, Spike shoots him off the ropes, Justin goes over, double shoulderblock and both men are down. Justin must be lighter than he looks. Coach: "A lot of people like to criticize Eric Bischoff, but tomorrow night, he's giving the fans what they want to see." Spike's gonna get the better of the punches (or forearms), inverted atomic drop, spinning forearm, bulldog. One two no. Dropkick by Spike, and now running him down in the corner. Justin pulls himself up, corner whip by Spike, reversed, Spike goes in chest first. C'mon Justin, Steven won, you can surely do this. SUPERKICK caught, kick run Dudley Dog one two three. (4:49) Well never mind. 

Backstage, Terri talks to Raven: "Terri, the time is finally at hand. Tonight, I close a chapter on my adversary D'Lo Brown and yet I open another one in my vindication. For two years, I've been scorned and I've been scoffed at by people, people like you, Terri. And yet quietly, I've biding my time. I've bided my time until the pieces came together. And now, the picture is clear. The time for my voice to be heard is now - I will be silent no longer! I will open some eyes that have been blinded to me. It is time to begin my master piece, and I will make people see - quote the Raven, nevermore!" He did get himself a plan! I hope it's a good one.

Coming up next, Bubba vs HHH highlights.

Bubba/HHH (3:38)

Later, Jericho vs Kane. But next, Jackie vs Molly.

Lugz Victoria Chair Shot of Monday - why is this before the break instead of after?

Stacker 2 Lita Returns on Monday - Jeff's save looks just as ineffective here

Miss Jackie vs Molly Holly - Lita: "That quote was totally taken out of context!" Circle. Lockup, Molly with a hammerlock, Jackie with ad rope toe hold into a side headlock. Cranking it. Elbows, off the ropes, Jackie with a shoulderblock. Jackie dances in celebration a bit, off the ropes, over, hiptoss is blocked, hiptoss is blocked, Jackie Northern Lights suplex one two no. Small package one two no. Jackie with a kick, backslide one two no. Molly with a knee, Jackie is thrown towards the ropes, Jackie throws herself over the ropes (which looks as bad as that sounds) but pulls herself back in (which recovers it quite a bit.) Of course Molly turns late - Jackie charges, slide under, kick, double underhook suplex, one two no. Lita says Monday was the first time one girl hit another with a chair shot. Jackie charges, Molly tries to flapjack her onto the turnbuckle but Jackie's too short (and Molly's too far away) so it looks off - Jackie manages to hit the middle turnbuckle. Molly throws Jackie out - back first into the barricade. Jackie thrown in. Jackie fighting back with right hands, but Molly with a forearm to the back to slow her down. Stomping. Smashing her face into the mat. Side backbreaker one two no. Corner whip, Molly charges into a back elbow. Molly with a kick to the midsection, suplex but Jackie slides behind, turnbuckle smash inside cradle one two no. Molly with a right, ducked, Jackie with a right, right, one foot dropkick. Whip, back elbow. Cover one two no. Standing spinning heel kick one two no. Whip, Jackie spins (for another kick? to get hit by a move?) but Molly held the ropes and for a brief instant they're off track, but Jackie quickly charges and Molly drop toe hold her on the bottom rope. Molly puts Jackie on the top rope (although there's some struggle to get her that high), slap is blocked, Jackie with a kick and off the top rope swinging DDT one two three. (3:46) Jackie needs the WWE to come to Texas more often. Replay. Two replays! Please take this division seriously! PLEASE! Molly seriously needs to be introduced to Rico.

Coming up later, D'Lo vs Raven, but next, Jericho vs Kane.

Lita and Coach talk about No Mercy. And Jericho vs Kane. (1:59) And here's a graphic. Wow, the background is very distracted. 

Coming up next, D'Lo vs Raven.

Randy Orton video (1:00) Coach notes that he's great looking.

Raven vs you betta recognize the King of Heat D'Lo Brown - I like how Raven doesn't wear the coat to the interview, but he needs it for the walk to the ring. Silly me, thinking that D'Lo giving up the Heat announcing gig meant he was doing something. I gotsa learn. D'Lo has something to say. "[to Raven, who's doing the Raven sit] Now you stay right there, partner. First things first, I got send a shout out to all my peeps in the D'Lo Nation - what up? Now, to get down to business. Raven, you invite me out here to face me one last time in your so called personal playground? And how you want me to witness the unleashing of your masterpiece? Well, partner, the only masterpiece you're gonna be a part of is the brand new Raven exhibit in the Sky Hi hall of fame! Now recognize that!" There's the bell. Circle. Lockup, Raven turns D'Lo Brown into the corner. Kicks in the corner, Raven yells, then walks right into punches. Whip, jumping forearm. Raven stumbles to his face. D'Lo charges, Raven leapfrogs and D'Lo goes shoulder first into the ringpost, all the way to the floor. Raven with the Russian legsweep into the barricade to add to it. Raven takes him back in - cranking the front facelock. I guess D'Lo position blocks Raven from just hitting the DDT - that and D'Lo is fading into the mat and it's tough to DDT someone when they're on their knees. He's trying to get the crowd behind him - and picks up Raven to drive him back first into the turnbuckle. D'Lo with a shoulder to the gut, shoulder gets the kneelift - Raven quickly to the second rope for the knee driver (to the injured shoulder). Raven yells for him to get up , charges, and gets a drop toe hold into the middle turnbuckle. Both men slow up - Raven actually up first. D'Lo battles back with a right, right, right, right takes Raven down. Whip, jumping side kick. Slam, shaky shaky legdrop! Lita calls it! One two no. Corner punches one two three four Raven slips down, D'Lo grabs him by the braid to pull him back up, Raven with a violent looking powerbomb, feet on the ropes one two NO that can't work twice a show. Whip, reverses, Sudden Impact one two NO. Corner whip, D'Lo charge into a boot, Raven charge out in to the Sky Hi but slips behind, pretty blatant low blow uppercut but referee Nick Patrick somehow didn't see it. (Looking back a second, Raven lost an elbow pad before the corner whip, and Patrick almost slipped on it while avoiding the near Sky Hi, so he turned around to kick it away and Raven took the opportunity. Raven's a freaking genius at times.) Raven Effect, one two three. (3:16) See, D'Lo's a professional and jobs his title on the way out (I foolishly hope.) Replays of the low blow and the Raven Effect - Raven celebrates, D'Lo lays on the mat in pain and Coach says goodbye.

That's it.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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