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WWF WrestleMania

Chris Jones



Greetings, my people!

As I promised, as a special treat to all (see: both) of you who have said "Chris, will you ever do recap something that's not a WCW PPV?", I'm weighing in with my views on WrestleMania! But first, there are sure to be other FINE recaps of the show right here on [slash], so be sure to check them out, too! Seriously, go read 'em. I'll wait.

Just as a note, this is likely the only non-WCW recap I'll be doing for quite a while. The reason I only do those shows is because, as much as I like doing it and then discussing things with you fine readers, I don't have much time to do it more than once a month... as I discovered while trying to get this one done. So it's back to WCW from here on out, as I like being one of the 5 people per month who order their shows. Although I do understand that the recent shoot from the Caribbean will be turned into a home video much like "Come Get Some", and you KNOW I'll recap that when it's released.

And finally, remember that "tell me what site you're reading this on" poll I conducted last time? Well, since NOT ONE PERSON WHO WROTE ME actually told me what site they read the Uncensored recap on, I've decided to go ahead and scratch that idea. Don't try doing it now! It's too late! Too late, I say!

Are you ready? Here we go!

I caught most of the "WrestleMania All Day Long" show, as I had little to do for most of the day. It was your usual excellent video recaps from the WWF. Even events as old as WrestleMania IV had brand new video packages. The part I liked most was that there was no selective editing to give less coverage to certain people like Hogan, Savage, Bret, Warrior, etc. Pat Patterson told a story about finding Warrior crying after WrestleMania VI and Vince had a 5 minute interview about Randy Savage and Elizabeth and what it must have been like for Macho to have his wife on the road. In other words, it truly was a look back at the past, not a look back at the version of the past the WWF would currently like us to remember.

And setting the clips of Austin/Michaels from WrestleMania XIV to "Bittersweet Symphony" was utter BRILLIANCE. Whoever thought of that should be promoted immediately.

Developments from Sunday Night Heat: Bob Backlund interrupted a Kurt Angle promo to inform him that it was, in fact, Bob who was responsible for Kurt having to defend both belts. Kurt responded by procuring Backlund in the chicken wing. And as we all hoped, Pete Rose is back and he's out for revenge! Finally, the Hardy Boys and Edge/Christian brawled during an interview segment.

The WWF's own LILIAN GARCIA kicks things off with a fine rendition of the national anthem.

An opening video package hypes the fatal 4-way main event. Not quite as good as the usual WWF openings, I thought.

We fade into the arena where we're LIVE from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California! Pyro shoots! Fans cheer!

THE GODFATHER & HUGGY BEAR BROWN (wit' hos, g) vs. THE BIG BOSS MAN & BULL BUCHANAN- 40+ year old rapper ICE T raps the pimp duo to ringside. "Pimpin' ain't, pimpin' ain't easy, man. Pimpin' ain't, pimpin' ain't easy, man." Great, now I'll have THAT in my head all day. "Grab yo' BITCHES!" Hey, there's MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN in the front row! Seeing him makes me think of all the times he got into it with Jeff Jarrett when the WWF would come to Anaheim. Ah, the good old days. Too bad he didn't win an Oscar... just think, he could have brought it and let someone use it as a weapon! The Godfather does his opening. He looks less like a pimp and more like a Jamaican voodoo master tonight. (Insert Papa Shango reference here.) Boss Man and Bull enter without incident. D'Lo and Bull start us off! D'Lo gets the early advantage with a jumping kick. Godfather cuts off a Boss Man run-in. D'Lo tags out. Scoop slam on Bull and we see some double teaming. D-Lo hits a splash! Godfather with a legdrop! A Godfather elbow misses and Bull tags out. Boss Man gets caught with a clothesline and a big kick. A cover gets 2. Tag to D'Lo! Boss Man takes the advantage and tags out. Bull comes in but gets caught in a corner with the 10 punches of doom! D'Lo whips Bull to the other corner and Bull JUMPS TO THE TOP ROPE and hits a twisting clothesline! YES! Slam on D'Lo. Bull makes a blind tag and drops D'Lo onto the second rope. Bull and Boss Man hit a double "slide outside and punch the guy in the face" spot. A big boot keeps D'Lo down. Boss Man tags back out and Bull hits an ax kick. 1, 2, kickout! Bull throws D'Lo outside, where the Boss Man works him over. The Godfather goes after Bull as D'Lo is rolled back in. Bull and Boss Man dominate D'Lo for a while. Bull applies a bear hug. D'Lo's arm drops once... twice... but not three! Bull quickly stops any momentum D'Lo might have gained and makes the tag. D'Lo tries a high cross body and Boss Man CATCHES him for a backbreaker! 1, 2, kickout! Bull gets the tag and comes off the top with a double axhandle. A slam puts D'Lo down. Bull goes up top! The Godfather shakes the ropes and Bull gets crotched! D'Lo goes up top... TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINER!!! D'Lo makes the tag! Backdrop on Bull! Clothesline on Boss Man! Bull falls to the outside. Boss Man misses a smash in the corner... here comes da HO TRAIN!!! Tag to D'Lo! D'Lo goes up top... but Bull shoves him off! D'Lo lands on his feet! D'Lo hits a dropkick on the Boss Man. D'Lo goes off the ropes... he gets caught in the BOSS MAN SLAM!! Bull comes off the top rope... GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! 1, 2, 3!! Boss Man and Bull chase the hos backstage. They're Cobb County Vice, I guess. This Bull has potential.

Your winners: The Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan (match time: 9:07 )

Triple H and Stephanie are backstage admiring their respective belts. Stephie's showing a lot of skin tonight. Woo-hoo!

We're brought to our hosts for tonight's action, JIM ROSS & "MY FATHER" JERRY LAWLER, who speculate that Triple H seemed strangely relaxed with his big match looming on the horizon. Perhaps he's got... (cue suspense music)... a plan?

Earlier today, referee TIM WHITE spoke with the participants of the hardcore battle royal about the rules. Rule #1... there's a 15:00 minute time limit. Rule #2... there can be multiple belt changes during the 15 minutes. When time runs up, the guy with the belt remains champion.

13 MAN BATTLE ROYAL for the WWF Hardcore Championship - I wouldn't expect much detail in this one. TAZZ makes his entrance. VISCERA comes down next. RODNEY, PETE GAS, and JOEY ABS power walk to the ring. Good lord... a year ago, they were characters to add intrigue to the Shane/X-Pac match, now they're WRESTLING on the show. Who'd have thunk it? Here's HARDCORE HOLLY . Representing Kai En Tai, it's TAKA and FUNAKI. Headbangers MOSH and THRASHER walk out. BRADSHAW and FAAROOQ - FAAROOQ - FAAROOQ IS ON FIRE head down. Bradshaw looks like he's been putting away a little too much beer lately. And finally, Hardcore champion CRASH HOLLY heads down with his scale. He drops it off at ringside and slides in the ring. We're underway! A handy clock in the upper right corner keeps track of the time. Everyone has brawled outside except Crash and Tazz. High angle Tazzplex on Crash! 1, 2, 3!!!

New Hardcore Champion: Tazz ( 0:25 )

Tazz goes outside and brawls with Vis. Viscera scoops Tazz up and rams him into the ringpost! Cover! 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Viscera ( 0:58 )

Hardcore NAILS Crash with something. Tazz and Hardcore brawl. Mosh has an electric fan. Bradshaw has a phone. Viscera wields a cookie sheet. Joey Abs and Rodney double team Vis. Bradshaw uses a speed limit sign on the new champ, then Faarooq joins in the beating. Why didn't anyone pay the APA to help them win? Crash has been busted open already. Viscera finds Crash and lifts him up in a choke. Bradshaw uses a cookie sheet to take people out left and right. Tazz finally stops him. Hardcore works over Viscera. He floors him! 1, 2, kickout! Mosh nails Vis and covers. 1, 2, kickout! Taka uses a tennis racquet on Mosh. Funaki nails Vis. We've passed the 10-minute mark. Joey Abs floors Tazz with some cookie sheet shots. Some action spills back into the ring. Viscera lays out several people. Faarooq clears out the ring as Viscera GOES TO THE TOP ROPE! Bradshaw with a powerbomb on Taka! The Acolytes catch Vis up top and BODYSLAM him off the top rope! Faarooq breaks a 2x4 over Vis. Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulderblock! Vis is down! The Acolytes toss Taka and Funaki onto Vis... Mosh joins in for the cover! 1, 2, 3! The ref raises Funaki's hand!

New Hardcore Champion: Funaki ( 7:14 )

Taka celebrates the victory... AND THEN SLUGS FUNAKI! Ha! Funaki takes off and runs backstage with numerous people following. Mosh and Rodney catch up to him. Rodney covers! 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Rodney ( 8:11 )

Joey Abs clotheslines Rodney down. Gut wrench suplex! 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Joey Abs ( 8:23 )

Joey gets nailed with a rolling cart. Thrasher throws him into a steel door. 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Thrasher ( 8:43 )

Mosh nails Thrasher with a pipe. Thrasher makes his way back towards the ring. Pete Gas is BLOODY! Shit! Pete finds a fire extinguisher and blasts Thrasher. Cover! 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Pete Gas ( 9:32 )

Tazz grabs Pete and drags him back to the ring. Pete eats the ringpost! Tazzplex on the floor! Cover! 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Tazz ( 10:14 )

Hardcore Holly throws Tazz into the stairs. Cover! 1, 2, kickout! Tazz and Bob brawl at ringside. Mosh comes out of nowhere to nail Hardcore. Mosh covers Tazz. 1, 2, kickout! Tazz covers Mosh and gets 2 for some reason. Mosh tries again and gets 2. Hardcore, Tazz, and Crash roll inside the ring. Tazz hammers Crash. Crash nails Hardcore. Tazz smashes Crash with a trash can lid. Tazz covers Crash for 2. Again, why? Hardcore nails Tazz with a 2x4, but Crash breaks up a cover. Bob chokes Crash. We've got 2 minutes to go! Tazzplex of some sort on Crash! Hardcore hits a powerslam on Tazz... Crash breaks up the cover. Then Crash covers! 1, 2, kickout! Hardcore throws Crash outside and hits his 5-star dropkick on Tazz. Release Northern Lights Tazzplex on Hardcore! Bob goes outside. Crash comes back with a cookie sheet. He lays Tazz out! 1, 2, 3!

New Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly ( 14:19 )

30 seconds! TAZZMISSION ON CRASH!!! Bob comes back in and SMASHES something over Tazz! Glass flies everywhere! 5 seconds! Hardcore covers Crash! 1, 2... well, the ref didn't hit 3, but I don't think Crash kicked out. The time limit is up! Crash leaves with the title. The Fink announces Hardcore as the winner! Tim White takes the belt from Crash and gives it to Bob. Replays show us that the ref simply didn't count 3. I wonder if Tazz is okay... he seemed hurt after the glass shot.

Your winner and new Hardcore champion: Hardcore Holly (match time: 15:00 )

We see footage from WWF AXXESS. Various superstars comment. Hey, there's SHAWN MICHAELS! Somebody gets to call a match with Michael Cole. I'd rather call one with Jimmy Del Ray, baby! (He was in the Axxess commercial from a previous WrestleMania play-by-play thing, if you noticed.) There's THE UNDERTAKER! And STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is there, too!

Snickers brings you WrestleMania! And, if you eat too many, a fat ass!

Replays again show us the end of the hardcore match. I'm guessing that either Crash was supposed to kick out, or the time limit was supposed to expire just before the 3.

Al Snow is peeking into a bathroom stall and talking with someone. He has something goofy planned, you see, but Blackman is dead set against it. And whoever's in the stall is stinking up the joint.

There's a close-up of some BOOBS! Even better... they're Trish's boobs! You know, because she's blonde and has a big rack, I've heard people call her a Pamela Anderson clone. But if you look at certain pictures, she ACTUALLY looks like Pamela Anderson. They're both Canadian, aren't they? What are they putting in the water up there?

HEAD CHEESE vs. T&A (with T&A) - Al and Blackman enter to Blackman's music. I miss Blackman's first entrance theme. Al's got some new tights, it appears. And he's got the stick! Al says something about Blackman mentioning a pygmy playing "let's go, Head Cheese" on his ass cheeks. So keeping that in mind, here's CHESTER McCHEESERTON... a midget wearing a cheese wedge with two holes cut out by his ass cheeks. Al tells him to bend over and gets the crowd chanting "let's go, Head Cheese" while Chester slaps his ass. Blackman is, of course, annoyed. T&A enters... praise be, ALBERT IS WEARING A SHIRT! Trish, some advice... when I can see a vertical line in the front, your bottom is too tight. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Test and Blackman start off. Steve ducks a clothesline. Test catches a foot. Enziguri misses! Test clothesline misses! Blackman hits a superkick! Tag to Al. Double wishbone on Test. JR's headset has failed, it seems, so Lawler is calling this on his own. Test nails Al with a clothesline. Tag to Albert. Al gets splashed in the corner and nailed with a Test big boot. T&A is working well together, to my surprise. Al regains control with a clothesline. JR returns as Test breaks up a pin attempt. Al tags out. Blackman floors Albert with a running shoulderblock. Albert returns the favor. Steve hits a legsweep. Slingshot legdrop by Al! Test nails Al with a big boot! This crowd is DEAD. You're at fucking WrestleMania, people! Al backdrops Test to the floor. Albert gorilla presses Al... no, Blackman clips Albert's knee and Al drops on top of him. Test gets dropkicked back to the floor as he tries coming back in. Al gets a 2 count on Albert. Al and Blackman double team Albert. Blackman to the second rope... DIVING HEADBUTT! 1, 2, kickout! Chester chases Trish at ringside. Lawler calls him "Chester Molester". Al gets the tag and nails an elbow off the top rope. Albert fights back and hits a double underhook suplex. Tag to Blackman. Tag to Test! Test mows everybody down. Blackman gets thrown outside. T&A hits a big double powerbomb on Al. Blackman breaks up the pin. Albert gets kicked to the outside. ASAI MOONSAULT BY AL SNOW!! Blackman drapes Test over his knee... AL WITH THE TOP ROPE LEGDROP!!! 1, 2, Albert breaks it up! Albert knocks Al outside the ring. Blackman gets slammed and Albert gorilla presses Test onto Steve for a splash! 1, 2, Al breaks it up! Blackman hits a superkick on Albert. Chester chases Trish again and Blackman yells at him. Albert catches Blackman and press slams him. Test comes off the top... FLYING ELBOW!! 1, 2, 3!! T, A, and T&A make their way backstage with big smiles. Al calls for the stick again! He realizes Chester was a stupid idea and he helps Chester into the ring. "It's time to cut the cheese." Al nails Chester and holds him for a running Blackman kick. Then they hit their finisher on him! So is Head Cheese dead? Noooo!

Your winners: T&A (match time: 7:05 )

Backlash ad. Some people really think Jericho's involvement in the ad means he'll get involved in the main event somehow tonight.

Back at ringside, Chester is being put on a stretcher. Lawler: "Just put him on a cracker!"

The Kat is backstage... and she's NAKED!!! Well, she is, but we can't see anything. Kat and Mae Young proceed to do an Austin Powers inspired sketch where all Kat's good parts get covered up as she turns around. Damn creativity!

Looks like the tag title match is up next!

Michael Cole speaks with the Dudleys. They're gonna kick some ass. TESTIFY!

A quick story, if I may. I went to a Sam's Club with my girlfriend a few hours before the show started. She was just looking for one specific item, but we also left with 9 bags of candy, a large box of Slim Jims, and a sweet duel deck VCR. I'm an impulse shopper, what I can say. But we were in line behind two real-life Dudleys. Overalls, thick rimmed glasses, each guy about 350 pounds... the works. It was creepy!

THEM DAMN DUDLEY BOYS vs. THE HARDY BOYZ vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN in a triangle ladder match for the WWF Tag Team Championship - Edge and Christian enter first. Edge is wearing his "playa" hat. Clips from Heat show us the brawl at the end of the show. Jeff ducks under all 3 ladders as the Hardys enter. The Dudleys climb a ladder and pose as Edge and Christian attack the Hardys! Here we go! Everyone brawls outside. Matt and Christian end up in the ring for a few seconds. Edge and D-Von roll in and go at it. Now Buh Buh and Jeff are in. Jeff hits a corkscrew dive off the ropes! Full Nelson bomb by Buh Buh! Christian sets a ladder in the ring, but Matt prevents him from climbing. D-Von slides a second ladder inside. Matt throws Buh Buh into the buckle. Both Dudleys get put against corners and ladders are put against the Dudleys. Jeff leaps off Matt's back and smashes into Buh Buh! Christian jumps off Edge but D-Von smashes the ladder into him! Edge gets clotheslined with the ladder by the Hardys. Matt slams D-Von on a ladder and climbs to the second rope. Elbow onto the ladder! Jeff hits a DDT on Buh Buh. Jeff sets Buh Buh on a ladder and goes up top. 450 SPLASH! BUH BUH MOVES! Jeff lands on the ladder! Buh Buh slams Jeff and puts the ladder on top of him. Buh Buh hits a senton splash off the second rope!! Matt Hardy is laying underneath a ladder. Edge is on the top rope with a ladder standing in front of him. EDGE RIDES THE LADDER DOWN ONTO MATT!! D-Von slams Edge and drops a ladder on him. Then D-Von legdrops the ladder! Buh Buh puts a ladder over his head and smashes everyone as they stand up. Buh Buh celebrates and Edge and Christian double dropkick the ladder into him! Then they double flapjack D-Von onto a ladder! Buh Buh and Matt Hardy are brawling at ringside. Edge sets up a ladder right by the ropes and Christian climbs to the top... LEAP TO THE FLOOR ONTO D-VON AND MATT!! Jeff is going for the belts! Edge goes up top and SPEARS JEFF OFF THE LADDER!! Now Edge climbs after the belts. Matt catches him.... SPLASH MOUNTAIN! Matt goes for the belts and D-Von slams him off. Now D-Von starts climbing. Christian throws a ladder at him and D-Von falls down. Christian goes for the belts. Buh Buh sets up a ladder right alongside the first one, then sets up the third on the other side. Christian almost has the belts! Buh Buh climbs up the third ladder and grabs Christian. BUH BUH CUTTER OFF THE LADDERS!!! The Hardys move 2 ladders to corners and position Buh Buh between them. They climb up! SPLASH/LEGDROP COMBO OFF THE LADDERS!!! Christian throws Jeff to the floor. D-Von and Christian start climbing a corner ladder. Edge sets up one alongside and they DOUBLE SUPLEX D-VON OFF THE LADDERS!!! The crowd chants "holy shit" just because. The Hardys set up 2 ladders side by side in the middle. Edge, Christian, and the Hardys all climb up. Facebuster by Christian off the ladder on one Hardy!! Russian Legsweep off the ladder by Edge on the other!!! All 6 men try climbing ladders. D-Von pushes one over, sending Christian and Jeff TO THE FLOOR!!! Buh Buh knocks over the other ladder, crotching Edge and Matt on the top rope! The crowd is chanting for tables. The Dudleys fold up 2 ladders and sandwich Christian between them! Edge runs in and gets caught... 3D ON EDGE!!! The Dudleys go for tables!! Buh Buh sets one against the commentator's table as D-Von slides 2 into the ring. Buh Buh positions two ladders end to end in the ring. A third table is rolled in. The Dudleys lift a table ON TOP of the ladders to make a platform! They start climbing up... the Hardys catch them! The Dudleys fight them off. Each Dudley sets up a table alongside their platform. D-Von stands a third ladder up near a corner as Buh Buh sets up a table outside the ring. D-Von puts Jeff on a table in the ring and climbs the third ladder. Buh Buh has Matt in powerbomb position on the Spanish announcers table! D-Von leaps off the ladder... JEFF MOVES! D-VON CRASHES THROUGH THE TABLE!! BUH BUH POWERBOMBS MATT THROUGH THE OTHER TABLE!!! Buh Buh slides the third ladder outside the ring. Jeff comes running along the guard rail... Buh Buh THROWS THE LADDER IN JEFF'S FACE!! Now Buh Buh is bringing a HUGE ladder down the aisle! He stands it up in the middle of the aisle and drags a table down beside it! Buh Buh drags Jeff down and sets him on the table. Christian nails Buh Buh with the ring bell! Jeff nails Christian! Buh Buh is on the table. There goes Jeff's shirt! Jeff climbs to the top of the ladder! OH SHIT! SWANTON BOMB OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Replays show it to us again. Back in the ring, D-Von drops Christian and climbs up to the makeshift platform. Matt pulls D-Von down and hits the Twist of Fate!! Now Matt starts climbing up, as does Christian on the other side. Edge starts climbing up behind Matt. Matt and Christian brawl on the ladder. Matt has the belts! No, Edge pushes him off AND MATT BREAKS THROUGH A TABLE!! Edge grabs the belts! EDGE AND CHRISTIAN WIN!! They celebrate on the platform as we see several replays. Good GOD, that ruled.

Your winners and new WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian (match time: 22:29 )

Kevin Kelly speaks with Mick Foley and Linda McMahon. Mick says his fairy tale is coming true tonight.

JR and the King discuss the ladder match. We see a few more replays. Up next... the catfight!!!

THE CROWN PRINCESS OF POKE-THRU (with Moolah) vs. THE KAT (with Mae) in a catfight - The Fink explains that the first woman to throw her opponent outside the ring is the winner. Special referee VAL VENIS makes his way down in a striped referee's towel. Ha! He does pretty much the same line that he did on Heat a few weeks back about WrestleMania coming once a year, while... well, you know. Terri enters in a not-sheer-enough body stocking. The Kat is dressed in a fishnet body stocking with a thong and bra underneath. The girls try kissing up to Val and then start shoving each other. Here we go! Terri takes the Kat down and Val pulls her off. Terri locks lips with Val! The lucky bastard! Val sees Kat looking at him and he drops Terri. Now Kat plants one on Val! Terri grabs the Kat by the hair and throws her across the ring. Then she does it again! Terri poses... and gets speared! Mae climbs up and tries taking her shirt off and, thankfully, Val stops her. Terri gets thrown outside... but Val is distracted by Mae and he doesn't see it! Moolah rolls Terri back inside as Kat yells at Val. Terri and Kat roll around inside as Mae goes after Moolah on the outside. Moolah rolls in and Val forces her out. Mae grabs Terri and Val pulls Mae off... and MAE KISSES HIM!! UGH! Kat throws Terri outside again... but again, Val is distracted. Moolah trips the Kat and pulls her outside, then slides Terri back in. Mae is STILL kissing Val! Val finally breaks free and, seeing Kat outside, calls for the bell. Moolah joins Terri in celebrating... and Mae attacks! BRONCO BUSTER ON MOOLAH!! Kat grabs Terri... and TEARS THE BOTTOM OF HER OUTFIT OFF! Yes! Moolah tries covering Terri's ass with her jacket as they escape. That's IT? GO STRAIGHT TO HELL, WWF!

Your winner: Terri (match time: 2:25 )

Next year WrestleMania comes to the Houston AstroDome!

JR tries talking about next year's WrestleMania 2001, but Lawler's in post-T&A cool off mode.

The Radicals, minus Benoit, are backstage. Eddy is grooming himself. Chyna can't resist his Latino heat, you see.

Elsewhere backstage, Chyna and Too Cool have witnessed Eddy's comments. Chyna is disgusted. Scotty says "g".

TOO COOL & CHYNA vs. THE RADICALS in a 6-person mixed tag team match - The Radicals enter with new "Radicals" t-shirts that, unlike the old "Revolution" t-shirts, aren't recycled from a previous design. Chyna shoots her pyro gun. Too Cool has new white outfits... and I mean white as in the color, don't write me. Eddy stretches out on the top rope and repeatedly gives Chyna the eye. Lord, EDDY RULES! Scotty and Eddy start us off! A shoulderblock takes Scotty down. Monkey flip on Eddy! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Scott... and then he moonwalks! Tag to Chyna! Eddy runs on his knees to his corner and tags Dean. Chyna clotheslines him down. Dean gets in a kick to the gut, but Scotty clotheslines him from the apron. Chyna tags in Sexay. Double suplex on Malenko. Sexay grooves and Chyna follows suit. Running Man by Sexay! Dean gets slammed into his corner and he tags Eddy. Sexay hits a belly-to-back suplex and goes up top. He adjusts the goggles! Saturn pushes him off the top rope! Eddy tags Saturn, who puts on Sexay's doo-rag. Tag to Dean. Double clothesline. Dean tags Eddy. Sexay breaks up a backdrop attempt with a kick. Tag to Scotty! Scotty runs in and Eddy stun guns him! Chyna glares at Eddy, who hits a back suplex on Scotty. Eddy goes to the apron... slingshot senton splash!! Eddy gyrates at Chyna, then mock dances to bring in Sexay. The ref forces Sexay out and Eddy NAILS Chyna and rams her into the turnbuckle! EDDY IS GOD!!! Scotty fights back and Sexay suplexes Eddy TO THE FLOOR! Dean and Saturn attack Scotty behind the ref's back, but Scotty fights free. Sexay floors Malenko. Face slam on Saturn! HERE COMES THE WORM! HOO! HOO! HOO! DOUBLE CHOP on Dean and Saturn! Eddy runs in and gets nailed by Scotty! Eddy runs to the ref for protection as the other Radicals beat on Scotty outside the ring. Chyna goes after Eddy and the ref forces her back outside. Eddy tags Saturn, who superkicks Scotty. Saturn goes up top! TOP ROPE ELBOW! Actually, it looks like he missed, but it was close. Tag to Eddy. Eddy goes up top! Scotty crotches him on the corner! Scotty climbs up... SUPERPLEX!! Eddy grabs Scotty's leg to prevent a tag... but Scotty tags Chyna!! Eddy rushes to his corner as Dean and Saturn come in. Chyna drops them both! Eddy scurries between Chyna's legs! Chyna drops Dean and Saturn again. Slam on Saturn! Slam on Dean! HANDSPRING ELBOW on Saturn! HANDSPRING ELBOW on Dean! They stagger forward... DOUBLE NUT SHOT! Eddy nails Chyna out of nowhere! He puts her in piledriver position and gyrates! Chyna slips out of a powerbomb attempt... her pants tore! I SEE THONG! I SEE THONG! Chyna hits her OWN powerbomb on Eddy! He hops up and gets nailed. TESTICULAR CLAW!!! GORILLA PRESS BY THE NUTS!!! Eddy stands and gets caught in a sleeper. Chyna falls back with it for a slam! Cover! 1, 2, 3!! Chyna leaves with Too Cool while trying to keep her pants up.

Your winners: Too Cool & Chyna (match time: 9:39 )

Isn't it more obvious now than ever that Eddy just didn't give a shit the last several months he was with WCW?

We see footage of BRIDGET BINDER winning a trip to WrestleMania, complete with limo ride and private jet flight. She and her husband are shown front row with a sign reading "I WWF'n won this ticket". The sad part is, it's a planted sign, so somebody in the WWF thought that up.

The Big Show stands by as Shane hypes him up. Show wears a "Big Nasty Bastard" shirt. HA! Of all the Big Boss Man lines to get a t-shirt, that is CLEARLY the best choice.

Footage is shown of Kurt Angle attacking Bob Backlund on Heat.

Kurt speaks with a security guard about getting some extra protection for his post-match celebration in the crowd. The guard isn't listening.

KURT ANGLE vs. CHRIS JERICHO vs. CHRIS BENWAA in a triple threat match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship - Wow, I haven't been able to use that "Benwaa" spelling for a while. Is it still as lame as ever? The first fall will be for the I/C title, which isn't the way I thought it'd be. Y2J enters first. I like how they play his entrance video into the feed now, rather than simply zoom in on it. "Welcome to... WRESTLEMANIA... IS... JERICHO! And Y2J has been waiting his whole life for this moment. And I know that all you Jerichoholics have been waiting all your lives for this moment! And I can't guarantee you that I'm going to walk out of here with 2 championships. And I can't guarantee you I'm going to walk out of this match with 1 championship. But I CAN guarantee you that I am going to walk out of this match the TRUE Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah! And I can guarantee that Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto will walk out of this match with bumps and bruises and a t-shirt that reads 'I visited Anaheim and all I got was this lousy t-shirt... and a Y2J beating that I will NEVER... EVER... FORGET AGAIN!" Benoit enters without incident. JR refers to him as a "machine", which doesn't help that "roboto" thing any. As Angle removes his belts at ringside, Benoit hops out and attacks him! Kurt is rolled back inside and Jericho goes to work on him. Big clothesline on Angle! Jericho goes after Benoit and Angle jumps him from behind. Jericho fights Angle off and Benoit attacks, choping Jericho in a corner. Jericho slips out of a back suplex and dropkicks Benoit through the ropes to the ringpost! Angle nails Jericho from behind. Jericho hits a dropkick and Angle goes out to the apron. Jericho tries a springboard dropkick... NO, Benoit trips him! Benoit goes onto the apron to attack Angle and Jericho springboard dropkicks BOTH guys! Mild pop from the crowd. What a bunch of bastards. Sliding dropkick on Benoit! Angle stun guns Jericho onto the stairs and throws him back inside. Belly to belly! 1, 2, Benoit breaks it up. A big clothesline on Angle gets Benoit a 2 count. Jericho chops Benoit in a corner. Benoit fires back! Jericho nails Angle and hits a double underhook backbreaker. Jericho goes up top! Benoit knocks him off the top rope and into the Spanish announce table! Snap suplex on Angle. 1, 2, kickout! Belly to back by Benoit. 1, 2, kickout! Replays show us Jericho's fall from the top rope. Jericho runs back in and dropkicks Benoit from behind. Missile dropkick from the second rope on Angle! 1, 2, Benoit breaks it up. Hart backbreaker by Benoit. Angle breaks up a pin attempt. Suplex on Benoit by Angle. 1, 2, kickout. Angle works over Jericho, but Jericho fights back. Running face slam by Jericho! 1, 2, kickout! Benoit chops Jericho! Angle attacks Benoit from behind. Belly to back suplex! 1, 2, Jericho breaks it up! Jericho hooks a camel clutch on Benoit. He was watching "WrestleMania All Day Long", I see. Angle runs over and gets nailed. Jericho with a delay suplex on Angle! But Benoit covers Angle! 1, 2, Jericho breaks it up! Angle works over Jericho. Overhead belly to belly! 1, 2, kickout! Benoit stomps Angle. Angle whips Benoit towards a corner... Jericho sunset flips Benoit, but Benoit falls forward with a pin! Angle dropkicks Benoit to break it up at 2! Benoit falls outside. Jericho tries a backbreaker, but Angle escapes... AND PROCURES THE CHICKEN WING!!! Angle doesn't make look as painful as Bob, but hey. Jericho's arm drops once! Twice! Benoit breaks it up! Angle gets heaved outside. Benoit follows and tosses Angle into the crowd! Benoit goes up top... SWANDIVE HEADBUTT ON JERICHO!!! 1, 2, 3!! Benoit wins!

Your winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit (match time: 7:56 )

And we move right into...

KURT ANGLE vs. CHRIS JERICHO vs. CHRIS BENWAA in a triple threat match for the WWF European Championship - Wow, I haven't been able to use that "Benwaa" spelling since... well, since the above paragraph. Benoit goes for another pin on Jericho! 1, 2, Angle breaks it up! Angle hits a suplex on Benoit. 1, 2, kickout! Scoop slam by Angle. Angle goes up top!! Jericho crotches him on the top rope and climbs up behind him. Benoit crotches Jericho on the top and climbs up behind HIM! Belly to back off the top rope!! Angle stands on the ropes... MOONSAULT BY ANGLE!!! But he misses! Everybody's down! Angle covers Benoit! 1, 2, kickout! Jericho covers Angle! 1, 2, kickout! Jericho grabs Angle... WALLS OF JERICHO!!! Benoit breaks it up! A running knee to the gut takes Jericho down. Benoit stomps a mud hole in 'im. Angle attacks Benoit and then goes after Jericho. Jericho floors Angle with a clothesline, then takes down Benoit with a spinning heel kick! Benoit goes outside. Powerbomb on Angle! DOUBLE POWERBOMB on Angle! Jericho hops off a pin attempt to rush Benoit... but Benoit ducks away! German suplex! He rolls through! SECOND German suplex! He rolls through again! THIRD German suplex! 1, 2, Angle knee clips Benoit! Dragon Suplex on Angle! 1, 2, kickout! Benoit ducks a Jericho charge and the ref goes down! CRIPPLER CROSSFACE ON JERICHO!!! Jericho taps! But the ref is down! Benoit goes after the ref and Jericho hops up... WALLS OF JERICHO ON BENOIT!! Angle grabs a title belt! Benoit taps out but the announcers don't pick up on it. Angle NAILS Jericho with the belt! Cover! Ref's still down! 1, 2, Benoit pulls Jericho outside the ring. Benoit and Angle trade punches. Belly to back by Benoit. He goes up top again! SWANDIVE HEADBUTT... MISSES! LIONSAULT ON BENOIT!!! 1, 2, 3!! Angle protests to the referee, claiming he never lost a fall. Benoit celebrates with the I/C gold as Angle continues to object. "That is WRONG, man!"

Your winner and new European champion: Chris Jericho (match time: 13:48 )

Michael Cole speaks with Vince McMahon. Will Vince be a factor? "Well, I would like to think that wherever I am I'm some sort of a factor one way or the other." Ha! You gotta love Vince. He promised... nay, he GUARANTEED to "make it right" tonight.

Triple H, taking lessons from Chyna, reacts to what was just said by cutting a promo to Stephanie. She's not Michael Cole, Hunter, damn.

An outside shot of the pond shows us "dusk" in California. Eat Snickers!

THE KINGS OF ROCK - WHO? THE KINGS OF ROCK - WHAT? (with Tori) vs. KANE & MR. ASS (with Paul Bearer) - The green "X" fireworks celebrate their 2nd anniversary in the WWF. Tori looks good. If you haven't seen it, go cruise around the Delphi forum for that picture of her nipples that, I'm told, has now removed. "Anaheim, California... WELCOME to the dog house! The D-O-Double G and X-Pac in Cal-I-For-Ni-A, wishin' happy birthday to my boy Dustin J... lookin' at the presidential, it's about that time, for us to get stinky like some bud that's kind. Now then, two tears in a bucket, and if you ain't down... " you know the rest. Does Road Dogg TRY to not make any sense while he's talking? Rikishi's got a new leather coat, it appears. JR and the King wonder where Pete Rose is. I wish they'd kept it a surprise, like last year. Paul Bearer tells Tori to go to hell and she pops him one. PAUL NO SELLS IT! He stalks after Tori and Kane joins in from the other side as DX jumps Rikishi inside the ring. Kane's got Tori by the throat! X-Pac makes the save! Rikishi splashes Road Dogg in a corner! ROAD DOGG GETS SOME ASS!!! Tori ends up inside the ring to escape Kane and ends up with Rikishi instead. She scoots along her butt into a corner... well, I never said she was smart, just hot. Rikishi tries to give her some ass, but X-Pac pulls her out. DX decides they've had enough... but Kane and Rikishi follow! Kane hammers X-Pac and Rikishi goes after Road Dogg. DX gets thrown back inside the ring, where X-Pac lands a spinning kick on Rikishi. BRONCO BUSTER!! Road Dogg tags in. The dancing punches combo doesn't work on Rikishi's extra hard Samoan head. But a running forearm does! Goofy kneedrop! 1, 2, BIG kickout! X-Pac gets the tag and unloads some kicks. Rikishi starts powering up. X-Pac hits the ropes and Rikishi hits a backdrop... NO! RIKISHI CUTTER!!! Rikishi does a forward roll and tags in Kane! Road Dogg goes down! X-Pac goes down! Big boot on Road Dogg! BIG backdrop on X-Pac! Dogg gets clotheslined outside. Kane floors X-Pac in a corner and Rikishi moves in... but Tori pulls X-Pac out to avoid the ass. Road Dogg eats a Rikishi superkick. Paul Bearer throws Tori inside the ring! Kane's got her! He throws her into a corner! TORI GETS SOME ASS!!! Kane's got X-Pac! TOMBSTONE!!! 1, 2, 3!! JR: "Tori has a terminal case of ass breath, thanks to Rikishi!" Eh, I'd still do her. Here comes TOO COOL to ringside. Time to get down! Wait, here's the SAN DIEGO CHICKEN to join in! The announcers act like it's Pete, so it probably isn't. Kane stands with his head cocked as he watches the chicken. The glasses go on Rikishi. Too Cool, Rikishi, and the chicken proceed to bust a move while Kane and Paul stare at the chicken. Wasn't JR supposed to dance tonight? That CAN'T be Pete Rose, the chicken's got too much groove. SCOTTY WORMS! The lights come back up and Kane goes after the chicken. He's goozles him! And here's PETE ROSE from behind with a baseball bat! Rikishi grabs the bat and Kane turns around. CHOKESLAM ON PETE ROSE! PAUL BEARER CROTCH CHOPS! Too Cool drags Pete into a corner... AND PETE ROSE GETS SOME ASS!!! As Pete tries his best not to laugh on camera, Kane commands the corners to shoot some fire.

Your winners: Kane & Rikishi (match time: 4:16 )

Kevin Kelly speaks with the Rock. Anyone remember Kevin doing that first set of interviews with Rocky back when he was a "blue chipper"? Rock says "finally, the Rock has come back to WrestleMania", as the crowd says "to Anaheim" only to quickly stop. Ha-ha! Stupid fuckers! That's what you get for being dead for WrestleMania. It's all about the WWF title, sayeth the great one.

JR and the King discuss our main event. It's Rock's destiny to win, says JR. They point out some celebrities... Michael Clarke Duncan is finally shown. There's THE ROCK'S WIFE, although they don't mention her. MARTIN SHORT is there. Behind Martin is SCREECH from Saved By The Bell! Who'd have thought that the Showgirls chick would end up getting the most fame outta all them kids? 3rd Rock's FRENCH STEWART is there with a girl on his lap that looks like that girl from... hell, I don't remember. A few other celebs are named and not shown.

THE-UH GAME-UH (with Stephanie McNipples) vs. MICK FOLEY (with Martha Stewart) vs. THE BIG F'N SHOW (with Shane O'Mac) vs. THE ROCK (with The Reason We're All Watching This) in a Fatal Four-Way match for the WWF World Championship - Mick enters to a not loud enough pop. Show still has on his "Big Nasty Bastard" shirt. I want one of them! I think Show looks better with the flat-top, truth be told. Rock enters third so that some sort of tradition can be upheld. As I said earlier, Stephanie is showing a LOT more skin than usual, with her entire back and part of her sides exposed. You go, girl! All the McMahons are at ringside. Here we go! Rock and Triple exchange words, but Foley attacks H! Rock and the Show pair off. Mick hammers the champ in a corner. H slumps down and Mick charges in! Knee to the face! BANG BANG! Get 'em, Mick! Show chokes Rock with his foot, then mows down Mick and Triple H with a double clothesline. Show works over everybody. Slam on Mick. Huge toss on Triple H. Gorilla press on Rock! Gorilla Press on Hunter! Headbutt for Mick. Rock gets choked with Show's leg. Mick climbs onto the Show's back and Show falls STRAIGHT BACK on him! Rock fights back against the Show. Show reverses a whip... side suplex on Rock ! Triple H comes off the ropes... Show catches him by the throat! CHOKESL... no, Mick kicks Show in the nuts! Punches by Mick rock the Show. Hunter joins in. Now Rock joins in. Show does his "I'm drunk" staggering. A Hunter clothesline won't floor Show. Mick can't do it. Rock rushes in and Show drops from the clothesline! All 3 stand over the Show and start stomping him! Triple H nails Mick to stop things. Mick fires back. CACTUS CLOTHESLINE ON HUNTER! Both guys crash to the floor! Show hits a big boot on Rock. Mick has a chair! He nails Triple H in the gut! Shane trips the Rock and hops onto the apron. Rock nails him! Mick hits the Show in the back with the chair! ROCK BOTTOM ON THE BIG SHOW!!! 1, 2, 3!! ( 4:48)

The three remaining men end up in the ring. Vince and a large group of referees try getting the Big Show to leave. He does, finally, to a round of boos. Vince waves good-bye to Shane. Triple H tries talking Mick into working with him against Rock. Mick has none of it. Hunter tries his spiel on the Rock, who seems to agree. They approach Mick and, of course, Rock turns and nails Hunter. Mick and Rock unload on the champ! Stephanie is concerned. Hunter gets hammered back and forth like a ping pong ball. Double clothesline! Mick tosses Hunter outside and they both follow. Hunter fights back briefly, but continues to get double teamed. Hunter gets whipped into a Rock clothesline. Mick gets the bell! He tosses it to the Rock. Mick lifts Triple H up... but Hunter ducks! Rock nails Mick with the bell! Hunter throws Rock into the steps! We see a replay of the bell shot. Hunter drops Rock on the railing right in front of Rock's wife. Mick's got a barbed wire 2x4!! Triple H slides into the ring to escape! Mick rushes in and Hunter ducks and hits a low blow. Now Hunter has the 2x4! Shot to the gut! Rock sneaks in and nails Hunter from behind. The 2x4 lands outside. Triple H throws Rock outside with it. Double Arm DDT by Mick! HERE COMES SOCKO! MANDIBLE CLAW ON TRIPLE H!!! Rock slides in with the title belt. He nails Triple H! Here comes the People's Elbow... NO! MANDIBLE CLAW ON THE ROCK!!! YES! YES! The crowd actually boos this. Triple H crawls over and low blows both guys. Everybody's down! Hunter stands up first and hammers the Rock. Vince has a chair, says JR. We see Vince set the chair on the apron. Rock clotheslines Hunter down! Mick clotheslines Rock and covers! 1, 2, kickout! Mick unloads punches on the Rock. Double Arm DDT!!! 1, 2, kickout! Damn! Mick grabs the chair Vince left. He rushes Rock... Rock raises a boot and Mick eats the chair! DDT on Mick! 1, 2, Hunter breaks it up for some reason. JR speculates that Triple H wants to beat Foley himself. Mick strikes a deal with Triple H to work over Rock. They both stomp him! The fans boo. Hunter doubles Rock over and Mick kneelifts him! 1, 2, kickout! Double suplex on the Rock. Triple H drops a knee. 1, 2, kickout. Rock stumbles to the outside. Mick follows and hammers him. He holds Rock as Triple H unloads. JR tells us that Mick wants Triple H to himself, hence the "turn" on Rock. Rock fights back and whips Mick into the steps! He chokes Triple H with a cable! Mick grabs the top half of the stairs... and NAILS Rock in the head!! Stephanie and Linda argue. Triple H sets Rock on the Spanish announce table and instructs Mick. Mick goes up to the second rope... ELBOW THROUGH THE... no, Mick kind of missed Rock and crashed into the side of the table. That HAD to hurt. Triple H drops his own elbow on Rock, then climbs up on the barrier and breaks Rock through the table with another. Replays show us Mick's missed dive as he caught the edge of the table right in the ribs. Hunter slides into the ring where Mick is. He hooks him! PEDIGREE!!! 1, 2, KICKOUT!! Mick kicks out! Hunter shoves down the referee and grabs a chair. Mick slowly stands... and takes a CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD!! Triple H drops the chair down and pulls Mick up. Linda cheers Mick on. PEDIGREE ON THE CHAIR!!! 1, 2, 3!! DAMN! ( 19:41)

The crowd wises up and rightfully boos. Mick rolls outside and raises an arm as the crowd chants "Foley". Linda helps Mick up the aisle. Mick sees Triple H on the big screen and heads back to the ring! He grabs the barbed wire 2x4! HUNTER TAKES IT IN THE HEAD! Mick heads off! You're the MAN, Mick! Rock covers Triple H! 1, 2, KICKOUT!! Hunter rises up and a brawl ensues. Rock clotheslines Triple H to the floor and they head up the aisle. Hunter eats some steel railing. Rock blocks a suplex attempt. Hunter gets suplexed on the floor! Stephanie looks worried. Rock runs H into the steel grid of the entrance set. They fight into the fans. Rock backdrops Hunter over the railing at ringside! Rock drags Hunter towards the announcers and rams him into the timekeeper's table. Rock grabs the ringsteps... Hunter smashes them with the chair! The stairs land on Rock and Hunter smashes them repeatedly!! Triple H pulls Rock up... PILEDRIVER ON THE STAIRS!!! Damn! Hunter rolls Rock inside the ring. Cover! 1, 2, kickout! Triple H unloads some shots. Rock fires back! Hunter tries a clothesline... he gets caught in the ROCK BOTTOM!! But Hunter breaks free! He pulls Rock in for a Pedigree... Rock backdrops him to the floor!! Vince watches on. Rock goes outside and punches Hunter over the railing. They fight back into the fans. Triple H regains control and sends Rock back over the railing. A nearby fan cheers Hunter on and Hunter snatches the guy's hat off! HA! Rock hits a spinebuster on the floor! The camera barely picks up the audio of Rock telling Triple H something. Rock drags him over to the American table and removes the monitors. ROCK HITS A SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE!! Both men are hurt! Rock moves in and Hunter drop toe holds him onto the stairs! Triple H rolls the Rock back inside and goes after Vince! Vince ducks and nails Hunter! Shane is on his way back down! Vince runs Triple H into the ringsteps and throws him inside the ring! Shane nails Vince from behind! He rams Vince into the broken table pieces. Shane grabs one of the monitors and CRACKS it against Vince's head!! Stephanie watches on with surprise. Both men are down inside the ring. Vince is back up! Shane swings and Vince blocks! He clocks Shane! Shane tries getting away and Vince floors him. Shane goes low! Now he's got a chair! He nails Vince upside the head!! Shane and Michael Clarke Duncan exchange words. BRISCO & PATTERSON help a bloodied Vince backstage while Shane remains at ringside. We're over 3 hours here, by my count. Back in the ring, Rock hammers Triple H! Hunter fires back. Rock ducks a clothesline... DDT! He covers! 1, 2, kickout! Tilt-a-Whirl slam by the Rock! 1, 2, kickout! Shane's got his chair ready to strike. Hunter hits a knee smash and grabs the 2x4! He smashes Rock in the head! Shane slides inside the ring with his chair. Triple H sets for the Pedigree, but Rock trips him down! He slingshots Hunter into Shane! They both go down! Hunter staggers out... ROCK BOTTOM!!! ROCK BOTTOM ON TRIPLE H!!! Rock is sprawled out and can't cover. Shane argues with the referee and picks up his chair. Vince charges back down! He nails Shane in the balls! Shane gets knocked to the outside! Vince picks up a chair... AND NAILS THE ROCK!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!? Stephanie looks shocked. Triple H covers! 1, 2, KICKOUT!! Vince grabs the chair... and HITS THE ROCK AGAIN!!! Hunter covers! 1, 2, 3!!! HOLY SHIT! I can't BELIEVE Triple H won. Vince kicks the Rock outside the ring as Stephanie helps Hunter. Vince calls to Stephanie and gives her a hug as Lawler tells us that Vince DID "make it right". God DAMN... clues and everything, but I never saw this coming. Rock is helped backstage. Shane enters the ring and has words with Vince. Rock watches from the aisle... and rushes back at the ring!! ROCK BOTTOM ON SHANE!!! Vince eats some punches! ROCK BOTTOM ON VINCE!!! Stephanie helps Vince as Rock glares at her. Stephanie yells at him and gets up in Rock's face. She SLAPS him! Uh-oh! ROCK BOTTOM ON STEPHANIE!!! Holy SHIT, she took a bump! Rock kicks her arm! He nails Triple H off the apron! PEOPLE'S ELBOW ON STEPHANIE!!! Rock heads up the aisle as the McMahons and Helmsleys try to regroup. Stephanie taking a Rock Bottom while wearing that top was pretty dangerous. "Dangerous" meaning "too bad her boobs didn't pop out".

Your winner and still WWF Champion: Triple H (match time: 36:26 )

A video package runs down the evening's highlights. Watch Raw!


Well, I... wait, what's THIS? A post-show? Well, okay, let's see what's what.


JR & THE KING sit at ringside among the broken remains of their table. We hope to get words with Vince tonight. Lawler holds up the barbed-wire 2x4. JR makes a nice segue into discussion of the hardcore battle royal.

The last 2 minutes of the battle royal are played.

HARDCORE HOLLY speaks with Michael Cole, denying that there was any controversy in the finish of his match. Bob proceeds to go off on Cole and calls him a "shithead" as he walks off. Yes! Kick his ass, Bob!

JR and Lawler discuss the tag title ladder match.

We see the closing of that very ladder match.

Kevin Kelly is speaking with EDGE & CHRISTIAN about their title victory. Edge mentions that the other teams are "boyz" and he and Christian are "men" before raising an arm in victory and seemingly doing a mock double over due to pain. I smell a heel turn!

WrestleMania 2001 comes to the Houston AstroDome! Isn't that where the Bad News Bears played their big game? And are they really going to call it "WrestleMania 2001"?

Backlash ad.

Ross and Lawler discuss Backlash and how Mick Foley won't be part of it. JR has the Socko that Mick used earlier.

Mick's elimination from the 4-way and his parting shot to Triple H are played.

Kevin Kelly is backstage with MICK & DEWEY FOLEY, with Dewey sitting on his dad's lap. Mick seems sad that his last match is done with. He did hurt his ribs on the table jump and said he can't jump as far as he could when he was 250 pounds and 23 years old. What's next for Mick? "Universal!" sayeth Dewey. Right on... Disneyland SUCKS!

JR and the King talk about Pete Rose's 3rd straight WrestleMania beating.

Michael Cole stands by with CHARLIE HUSTLE backstage. Why does Pete keep coming back? "Cause I'm a competitor, man, I'm gonna get Kane. I'm gonna bring some help, though. He had help tonight." Cole presses the issue. "I'm a competitor. You sound like Jim Gray now. You gonna harp on me for 20 minutes now? Cause I'm a competitor. My mission's not completed. You know what they say in baseball, don't you? 'Wait till next year'". This Pete Rose revenge situation is one of the best things ever. EVER!

JR and the King can't understand Vince costing Rock the match. Why would he assist the son-in-law that he hates? We'll hear from "Mr. McMahon" shortly.

A good chunk of the ending Rock/HHH battle in the main event is shown, from them fighting in the crowd all the way to the elbow on Stephanie.

Michael Cole is with MISTER MAC-MAN, who is being stitched up from the cut on his head. Cole asks Vince "why"? Vince gives us the EVIL SNEER! "You want me to answer to you? Do I, Vince McMahon, answer to you? Huh? What? No. Exactly. And what am I concerned with? Am I concerned with an idiotic question like that? Am I concerned with my head and a possible concussion? And am I concerned with the welfare of my daughter? DID YOU SEE... what that lowly coward Rock did to my daughter Stephanie? Did you see what he did? He gave her the Rock Bottom. Then he gave her the so-called People's Elbow. Well, one thing you can take to the bank... Rock is not the WWF champion, is he? Who is?" "Triple H." "Who's married to Triple H?" "Your daughter Stephanie." "Who was abused tonight by the Rock?" "Your family." "My daughter. Just remember this. I promised... no, I guaranteed... I would make it all right at WrestleMania. And that guarantee came true."

The video highlight package plays again. And we're out!


A fine, fine show, I thought. Not quite as great as WrestleMania's past, but it's hard living up to hype. The main event was great, as was the tag title match. The Euro-Continental match was very good and the Radicals match ruled, too. Consider it a thumbs up! For more of my thoughts on the impact of the heel winning and Vince's turn, check out my closer at EmZee. I, of course, am trying to keep the openers and closers different between sites... but if you're interested, have a look.

Of course, now it's off to the Bischoff & Russo show in a few weeks. I know I'm excited See you there!

Chris Jones
[slash] wrestling

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