You are here
WWF Judgment Day


Guest columnist: Ian Challis


Apologies for the lateness of the report. A good reason to be had: I have just entered...THE EXAM ZONE. It is for this reason that not ALL the King Of The Ring shows will get my special attention this month. Just the all-time greats like KOTR '95.

(Disclaimer: A lot of what is said below doesn't actually take place on the PPV. I think Ian was trying to be funny or something. I leave it to you to gauge his success. - CRZ)

  • Comin' atcha liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive from Sacramento, California, your hosts are Smooth Jimmy Ross and Former WCW Superstar Paul E. Dangerously. Terry Funk cuts us a promo before the show starts rolling, telling random passers-by that Judgment Day is coming. Oh wait, that ain't Terry Funk...

  • Opening Match: William Regal Vs. Rikishi(He's Not A Bad Man): Regal cuts a quickie promo before the match. JR seems to be starting a tradition by coining a stupid nickname during the PPV opener. Last month the Dudleys were labelled "Wizards Of The Wicked Wood", this month, Rikishi will be known as "Bodacious Bum". Rikishi pounds Regal to start, hitting a clothesline and a headbutt. Stinkface attempt, but Regal deals out a low blow to prevent it. Regal Sucks, apparently. Willie foolishly tries a sunset flip, but Rikishi misses the buttdrop followup. Man, Bob Holly's gonna storm the ring if JR doesn't stop using the word "bodacious". Regal waves a bit and beats up Rikishi in the corner. Kneelifts get a two count. More waving. Rikishi gets a clothesline and a legdrop, then a buttalanche sets up an extra-long Stinkface. Regal rolls to the floor and gives us a PRICELESS facial expression, quite possibly the Greatest Facial Expression The History Of Our Sport, to use a Schiavoneism, Rikishi follows for some brawlin' and Regal blades after going into the steps. Back inside for a Rikishikick, but Regal dodges a corner charge and gets the Goodwill Special for the pin at 3:58. Rikishi tells everyone that "Rikishi Time's over", and that he's "Nothing but a big fat piece of shit", before leaving for All Japan. Oh, wait..

  • Angle grabs some valuable advice on ladders from the Blondes: falling of them sucks.

  • Under the watchful eye of the Sacramento Kings logo, Triple H talks to Vince.

  • Two Out Of Three Falls Match: Chris Benoit Vs. Kurt Angle: Angle does a short "rile the crowd up" session before Benoit enters. Angle takes over quickly and hits three German suplexes, but misses a followup diving headbutt, and Benoit gets the Angle Slam for the first fall at 1:05. No, I didn't get the names mixed up. Benoit jumps up and down screaming "I'm a gold medallist! I WON!!", but the ref calmly reminds him that it's two out of three falls, and Benoit's all "Oh, MAN, why did I change the stipulations?". The camera cuts backstage, where Triple H is tutting at Benoit's stupidity.

    Benoit quickly goes for the crossface, but Angle grabs the ropes and they hit the floor. Benoit stays in charge, tossing Angle into the steps and ringpost, but Angle ducks a clothesline and posts Benoit. Angle stomps him a bit and they go back inside, then Angle stomps him some more. Ankle lock attempt, but Benoit grabs the ropes. JR informs us that there's a commotion outside, and we cut backstage, where Ken Shamrock is going postal screaming Kurt Angle's name while pounding on Kurt's locker room door. Next to Shamrock, a Magical Monitor plays the ongoing match. Kurt looks worried and confused, but goes back to working on Benoit. Benoit blocks a charge, but Angle drop toeholds him and tries the ankle lock again. Benoit reverses, but Angle rolls through THAT, but Benoit reverses AGAIN and tries the crossface. Angle makes the ropes and they hit the floor again. Angle stomps Benoit as he climbs back in the ring, and gets some punchy kicky in. Suplex, and an overhead belly-to-belly. Angle tries another, but Benoit reverses to the crossface, and Angle makes the ropes. Sensing a pattern? Benoit grabs a cross armbreaker, but Angle's still in the ropes. Benoit clothesline, and Angle trips him and tries the ankle lock again. A high pitched voice can be heard screaming "ANGLE!!!" from the back, but Angle ignores it. Benoit grabs the ropes to break it up, so Angle chops him a bit. Rollup, but OF COURSE there's no pinfalls. Backstage, Triple H tuts at Angle's stupidity, and whispers something to Vince, who's standing next to him, watching on with disgust. Benoit follows that buffoonery up with a snap suplex, but Angle hotshots him and tries a modified STF. Benoit is, of course, in the ropes. Angle breaks, and Benoit takes him down and locks in the Walls Of Jericho to big pop. Angle powers out, and Benoit elbowdrops him and applies the Figure Four. Angle rolls to the ropes, so Benoit picks him up and gives him a kneebreaker. Some knee workage, another kneebreaker and a dragon screw legwhip sets up an ankle lock attempt(MOVESET!), so Angle does what anyone would do-he grabs the ropes. JR says something about Angle going steady with the ropes, then slips in a quick "kissing a redheaded stepchild cousin". Angle tosses Benoit outside and they brawl, than back inside and Angle stays in charge. Benoit fights back and gets a DDT, but Angle STRIKES with the Angle Slam and slaps on the ankle lock for the submission at 12:21. JR informs us that Ken Shamrock's head just exploded in the backstage area. Benoit goes to leave, pulling the medals out of his pants and throwing them down in disgust, but the ref calmly reminds him that there's one fall left. Backstage, Triple H, Vince and Steve Austin all tut at Benoit's stupidity.

    The medals are suspended above the ring as Angle stomps Benoit a bit, and they hit the floor again. Benoit chops some meat on the floor, but gets reversed into the steps, and Angle grabs a ladder from under the ring. He sets it up and climbs, but of course, it's TOO SHORT. Angle dutifully stays at the top until Benoit comes in and shoves the ladder over, and they go to the floor again. Angle gets thrown into the crowd, and Benoit grabs the OFFICIAL ladder and climbs, but Angle makes it back inside and yanks Benoit down. Suplex, and Angle nails Benoit with the ladder. He tries it again and Benoit backdrops him to the floor, then gets in some ladder shots of his own. Back inside and Benoit climbs, but Angle gets a low blow and pulls him back down. Time for some WRESTLEMANIA X VIOLENCE! Angle props the ladder in the corner and throws Benoit into it, and Benoit responds with a catapult into the ladder. Irish whip into the ladder, and Angle scurries up it in the corner, but Benoit simply pulls the ladder backwards and it crashes down on Angle. German suplex, and Benoit wedges the ladder in the corner. Angle comes back with a clothesline and whips Benoit into the ladder. Snap suplex onto the ladder makes the crowd go "ooooooh!", and Benoit rolls to the apron, allowing him to pull the ol' "catapult the ladder into your opponent's face" trick. Benoit drops the ladder on Angle a coupla times then traps Angle under it and climbs, but Angle shoves the ladder over, hanging Benoit on the top rope. Angle spears him in the corner, but Benoit catches him with a quick crossface, but OF COURSE, there are no tapouts. Backstage, the Undertaker, Triple H, Austin and Vince all tut at Benoit's stupidity. Edge and Christian run in and break it up, beating on Benoit on the outside. Benoit manages to fight them off, but the timely distraction allows Angle to scale the ladder and grab his medals for the win at 24:00. Full of gimmicky goodness.***3/4 Angle bites them to check their authenticity, remembers where they've been, and hurls. Benoit slowly gets up with a smile on his face and takes the microphone from ringside.

    Benoit: Hey Angle! Kurt Angle! I hope you like your medals! They're made of candy, just like your ass!

    Angle shakes his head no, and Benoit suddenly frowns. He opens his pants, and removes a pair of crumpled-up gold packets, covered in melted chocolate. Backstage, the entire WWF locker room shake their heads and tut at Benoit's stupidity, as Paul E. makes jokes about Benoit's chocolate salty balls.

  • Taker menaces Regal with his slingshot backstage, forcing him to make the main event no-DQ.

  • Jerry Lynn cuts a bitter, enraged promo at WWF New York. "First Benoit steals my tights, and now I'm stuck HERE? WHOOPIDEEDOO!" JR berates him for ripping off Adam Sandler, then tells him to "put them on". Jerry refuses, and a group of burly security guys rush him. There is a scuffle, and the security guards disappear, leaving an out-cold Jerry with a pair of reading glasses placed jauntily on his face. JR cackles evilly...

  • Kane's full of pith and vinegar backstage.

  • Hardcore Title Match: Test Vs. The Big Fat Muthafuckin' Show Vs. Rhyno: Test and Show fight on the floor, while Rhyno opts to be fashionably late. He finally arrives, putting the steps in the ring as Show and test fight. Inside they go, and Rhyno and Test beat on Show, but Show gets a double clothesline. Rhyno gets knocked to the floor, and Test lowbridges Show and follows him out. Rhyno and Test beat on Show some more on the floor, hitting a double whip into the barricade, then Test turns on Rhyno. Damn Test, can't be trusted. Show backdrops Test into the crowd, then Rhyno follows, and all three guys brawl to the back.

    Test goes into a pillar, and Show goes after Rhyno, but Test sneaks up behind the big man and chokes him down with a hose. Show drops to one knee, and Rhyno runs an equipment case into his face. Test covers for two, then tosses Rhyno into a stack of equipment. Show throws Test into a cyclone fence, then breaks a wall with Rhyno's back. He pins Rhyno against a wall for two. Test saves, and Show goes for a chokeslam off of a loading dock, but Test blocks. He and Rhyno lay into Show, and knock him off the loading dock and onto some non-breakaway props. Ouch. JR comments "Oh, SOMEONE must have replaced those breakaway pallets. I sure hope Show didn't HURT himself!", then cackles evilly. Paul chews him out for breaking kayfabe. Then he chews himself out for using the word "kayfabe" on TV. Then he shouts the word "Extreme" really loudly to cover it up.

    Test and Rhyno fight back to the ring and Rhyno stays in charge, sending Test into the ringpost. He fetches some plundah from under the ring, then goes for Test in the ring, but gets a trash lid knocked in his face. Test comes of the ropes but gets DDTed onto the lid for two. Rhyno pounds Test with the lid as Show drags himself back to the ring. He hits a SWANK chokeslam on Rhyno, but takes a Test Face Punt for two. Rhyno Gores Show, and Test nails Rhyno for two. Test sprays Show with a fire extinguisher and covers for two. Rhyno smacks Test with a trash can, then throws it at Show and Gores him off the ringsteps for the pin at 9:14. JR bursts into fits of Tazz-like laughter while screaming "Show jobbed again!", while Paul E. buries his head in his hands. Match was the usual stuff, although I AM digging Rhyno right now **

  • Regal frets outside Austin's locker room.

  • Eddie converses with the Hardys, possibly trying to convince them to join the LWO.

  • Regal informs Austin of the changed main event. Austin's response: "I don't deserve that! My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, I don't deserve that! I deserve a roof on my locker room!" No sooner has that left his mouth, than Will Smith rushes the scene, laying into Austin with right hands and screaming "get your own comedy routine, man! Don't steal from the Fresh Prince!" Austin fights him off and Regal drags him out. Austin reminds us all that his name is "Fresh Prince Steve Austin", and he doesn't deserve that. Debra looks at him worriedly...

  • The Coach stands with Chyna, who cuts THIS interview: "Speak to me, Waryrs! Lita, I think you have to agree with me, it's amazing to see how far a little plastic surgery will take you! Far from the beginning, far from OUR beginning. No doubt, I'll leave the history lessons to others, but I will say, as I have viewed your career from afar, I have watched with a Waryr's admiration and unconditional respect. For all intents and purposes, Lita, women are your battleground, not mine - and it is for that reason I intrude during your awful, awful wrestling time to make a one-time request. Let me preface this request by saying it is fatal to enter any battle without the will to win. As you may now, I have an ongoing battle with Eddie Guerrero. My foke, my Waryr's foke allows me to win but one battle at a time. If it is your intention to call out the anti-heroes of our time, then I make a request - I make a demand that for this evening I squash you and no-sell all your offence, for I am the ultimate obsiquience of absolute viscosity. Same Waryr time, same Waryr place, same Waryr channel..." Chyna wanders off babbling to herself, leaving Coach making a "What the HELL?" face.

  • Women's Title Match: Lita Vs. Waryr Woman Chyna: Chyna's got a really, really bad peacock neck-frill thing on. The devastating offence gets underway with a...hug. Big boos for that. Lockup, and Chyna shoves Lita down. Lita gets a waistlock and Chyna escapes easily, so Lita goes to the headlock. Chyna tries a press slam, but Lita wriggles out into a sunset flip for two. Chyna asks Lita for her hand to help her up, and Lita, like an IDIOT, gives it to her. Chyna cradles her off of it for two. A couple of clotheslines get two for Chyna. Lita comes off the ropes with a swinging DDT, and "pummels" Chyna. Second rope clothesline gets two, and Lita goes to the arm. Chyna, whose chest is rapidly escaping her top, misses a charge, and Lita takes advantage with a fullarmdragandTWIST. Chyna breaks free and gets a swinging neckbreaker, then a powerslam for two. Press slam, and Chyna pulls Lita up at two. Lita rolls her into a cross armbreaker, and Chyna reverses into a headscissors, as Eddie wanders out from the back. The ref does an armtest, and Lita makes the ropes to break it up. Hairwhip by Chyna, and she tries a powerbomb, but Lita gets a rana off of it for two. Chyna simply gets up and hits an ugly powerbomb for the pin at 6:33. **, taking into account the usual quality of women's matches. Eddie shrugs. Chyna scowls. Then she spews out some green bile. Then she helps Lita up. Awwww.

  • Good Ol' MC catches up to Angle, who informs everyone about his plans for a gold medal ceremony on RAW. He's about to leave when Ken Shamrock's headless body leaps on him from behind! The decapitated corpse fumbles for Angle's ankle as JR spouts hyperbole, but Angle manages to kick it off and escape, with Cole in hot pursuit...

  • Vince gets Triple H all riled up for his match with Kane.

  • Chain Match For Intercontinental Title: Triple H w/Chain & Stephanie Vs. Kane w/Chain: Trip jumps Kane with the chain and it's OWN LAHK NECKBONE. That damn sneaky Cerebral Assassin just goes straight for Kane's injured arm, working it like Dean Malenko, in the corner and around the post. Stephanie looks positively conservative tonight. Tripper drags Kane to the floor and Slams the arm onto the steps then gets a couple of chairshots in. So why doesn't Tripper simply use that HAND OF STONE he used to break JR's arm? Ahh, because Kane's arm is previously injured, you see. It's better to WORK it than just to rebreak it. Although even if Trip did rebreak it, Kane would have probably healed up by the end of the match. But I'm getting distracted.

    They go back inside and the chain is finally attached to each guy, allowing Kane to yank Trip over for some ass-whippin'. Kane gets some chain-whips in, but Trip wrenches on the arm and pulls it over the top rope. Trip goes to the top and hits a chainshot for two. Arm workery in the corner, and they go to the floor again. Tripper pulls Kane into the steps, and lashes the arm with the chain. He tosses kane back in and goes for a chair, but Kane pulls the chain and Trip smashes into the apron, inadvertently chairing himself. He blades, natch. Kane pounds him on the floor and hits a chainline. Back in the ring, and Kane rakes the chain over Trip's face. Kane tosses him to the floor and pulls out the ol' hangman spot, then gets a couple of chain-punches in. Back in, and Kane goes upstairs, but gets jerked off. Both men down. Kane's up first, and Trip knocks him down with the chain, then takes it outside again. They fight a bit, and Trip gets knocked into the crowd, then he pulls Kane into the barrier. Smartest Man In Wrestling, folks. Tripper scales the barrier, and Kane slams him off of it. Back inside, and Trip gets a BAD facebuster and a clothesline. Kane blocks the Pedigree and hits a low blow, and goes upstairs-flying chain lariat! Chokeslam, and Austin's in-and straight out again. Trip low blows Kane and holds him, but an Austin chairshot goes awry, hitting Trip. Kane nails Austin and covers Trip for the title at 12:29. Nice old-school clash.***1/4 Kane roars a bit with his new belt.

  • Jericho interview. He chooses Coach as his partner, then reveals it all to be a joke. Coach cries. RACISM!

  • Trip catches up to Vince backstage. "Austin hits me in the head with a chair, and where were you guys? Henry Godwinn dumps me in slop, and where were you guys? I lose my European Title to D'Lo Brown, and where were you guys?!?"

  • Tag Team Turmoil-First Round: The APA Vs. The Radicalz w/Terri: Pier four sets a trend for the match to start off, and Saturn gets an overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Faarooq. The Rads stomp him, and Malenko hits a leg lariat for two. Saturn in for some punchy kicky, and Paul Heyman jumps on the ridiculous nickname bandwagon by labelling Saturn The Bald Bombshell. Double clothesline, and Bradshaw comes in with a shot to Malenko. Saturn T-Bones Bradshaw, then runs right into Faarooq's Angry Black Man Spinebuster to eliminate the Rads at 1:32. The Acolytes aren't done though. They hold Saturn down and Faarooq motions to the back-and here's Mean Mike Bell, ready for revenge! He gets a quick pin on Saturn, then slips the APA a wad of bills, as JR yells that "THE APA ARE UNDER MIKE BELL'S EMPLOY! BY GOD, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR JAKKED NEXT WEEK?!?"

    Second Round: The APA Vs. The Dudley Boyz w/Spike Dudley: The Duds try to pose-silly, silly hicks-and get jumped by the APA. Double shoulderblock on D-Von, and Faarooq gets a powerslam for two. Hangman b Bradshaw, but D-Von gets a shoulderblock on Faarooq and tags Buh Buh. He pounds Faarooq but misses an Avalanche. Bradshaw in, double shoulderblock gets a one count. Buh Buh dodges a clothesline and gets a sidewalk slam for two. D-Von in, and he gets a legsweep for two. Bradshaw comes back and kicks D-Von's booty. Nice "Get The Tabels" sign. Boy, those Sacramento fans. Fallaway slam on D-Von, and a big boot for two. Buh Buh saves and Faarooq clobbers him. They fight on the floor as Bradshaw puts D-Von upstairs. Buh Buh makes the save, and the Duds hit the Dudley Device. Wazzup for Faarooq, D-Von Get The Tables. Unfortunately, the Hollys do The Best Run-In In The Business, and D-Von takes the Best Alabama Slam Through A Table In The Business. Crash jumps Spike, distracting Buh Buh, and Bradshaw hits a Clothesline From Hell to advance at 6:26 total. Faarooq, Faarooq, Faarooq is on fire! Bradshaw too.

    Third Round: The APA Vs. X-Factor w/Mad, Bad And Dangerous To Know Albert: X-Pac looks naked without his beard. No, not naked...Twelve years old, that's what I meant. He gets a heel kick on Faarooq, but Faarooq fires back with a backbreaker for two. Bradshaw in, shoulderblock, suplex, AND a belly-to-back for two. Justin gets the tag, and Bradshaw shoulderblocks him. Popular move tonight. Justin hits the floor, and Bradshaw follows, and Albert levels him with a bicycle kick. Back inside, and Bradshaw powerslams Justin and makes the tag. Slam for Justin, and a Georgia Jam for two. Justin gets a facebuster, tag to Pac. Chokery for Faarooq, but he powerslams Pac for two. Bradshaw in, and he catches a Pac crossbody. Justin rushes him and eats a big boot, but Albert trips him and holds onto the feet, giving X-Pac the pin at 12:27 total. Yeah, they got everything they ever wanted.

    Round Four: The Hardy Boyz Vs. X-Factor w/Albert: Pier four to start, duh, and X-Factor get whipped into each other. They hit a couple of double teams on Justin, and Matt takes his shirt. WHEEEEE! Pac lowbridges Jeff, though, and they post him on the floor. Albert presses him back into the ring, and the heels stomp him. Broncobuster, tag to Justin. Jeff gets a double dropkick, tag to Matt, who's a House Of European Fire. Second rope legdrop for Justin, Poetry In Motion for Pac. They hit the swanton/Twist Of Fate combo, but Albert drags Matt off of the cover. Jeff floors Albert with a suicide somersault dive, but in the ring Justin superkicks Matt and Pac gets the pin to advance at 16:56 total.

    Round Five: X-Factor Vs. Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit: Wow, and I was all psyched for Hulk Hogan. Pier four AGAIN, and Jericho bulldogs Pac. Springboard dropkick for Albert, but he catches Jericho on the folow-up pescado and posts him. Pac gets a kick in on Benoit, and chokes him down, while Albert presses Jericho onto the crowd barrier outside. Justin comes in and gets the cornerbomb on Benoit for two. Chinlock, and Benoit fights out, getting a sunset flip for two. Pac comes in with his flying clothesline, and tries the broncobuster again, but misses. Hot tag Jericho, who's House Of Canadian Fire. Missile dropkick for two on Pac, and Justin hits the floor, the ref goes down from a Jericho flying forearm, and X-Factor get X Marks The Spot, no ref. Jimmy Korderas runs in and gets a two count. They try a spike piledriver, but Benoit trips Pac up top and Jericho catapults Justin into him. Albert comes in and gets double suplexed, then they suplex Justin on top of him. Double clothesline puts Albert on the floor, Walls Of Jericho for Pac, crossface for Justin, and they both cry uncle at 24:04 total. Benoit shoves Jericho and tells him to get the tables. Jericho refuses.

    Round Six: Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit Vs. Edge & Christian: One last Pier Four for the night, and Jericho suplexes Edge while Christian sends Benoit into the steps. Edge hotshots Jericho and stomps him. Tag to Christian for some punchy kicky. That gets a two count. Edge in, dropkick for two. Chinlock, and Jericho fights out with chops. Edge knees him in the gut, tag to Christian. Jericho takes over on him, but Christian hits his slop drop backbreaker for two. Benoit comes in, allowing some heel stomping on Jericho. Tag to Edge, and he misses a dropkick, but gets hi knees up on a Lionsault and covers for two. Christian in and they try Poetry In Motion, but Jericho dodges and bulldogs Edge. Hot tag Benoit, who suplexes Christian out of his boots. SWEET German suplex gets two, and Edge gets the Edge-O-Matic. Jericho pounds him, but Christian takes HIM down. They try the stackerplex on Benoit, but Jericho saves and the faces hit a Doomsday Dropkick on Christian for two. Edge saves, and DDTs Benoit, then calls for the conchairto. The Chrises cut them off with stereo baseball slides, and try a conchairto on Christian. Edge saves with a spear for Jericho, and Christian rolls up Benoit for two. The Blondes try a conchairto on Benoit, but Jericho saves, and Benoit gets the crossface on Christian for the tap-out at 32:10. Jericho's sealed his fate, you know-that damn Triple H will NEVER let him become a grand slam champion. ***1/2 for the whole thing.

  • Secret cameras catch up to Triple H on the phone. "Yeah, I know the match was bad, Scott, but it was Kane, I mean what can I do, ya know? Yeah, I'd like to-Hey, what are you doing? TURN THAT CAMERA OFF!"

  • Backstage, Jericho helps Benoit, who is suffering fatigue into an ambulance. Benoit climbs in the back and shuts the door, waving goodbye lovingly to Jericho-and Kevin Sullivan sticks his head out from behind the wheel, cackling "WHERE TO, VANILLA?". The ambulance screeches off as Jericho drops to his knees and lets out an anguished "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

    WWF Title Match: The Undertaker Vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin: Vince comes out for some humour-tinged guest commentary. Taker is bikeless, no doubt thanks to those pesky Boriquas towing the Rude American off behind their low rider. Those darn bike-stealing ethnic stereotypes make Taker EXTRA mad. The fight begins in the aisle, and it's OWN LAHK DONKEY KONG. Taker beats the crap out of Austin down the aisle, then back to the ring. He gets in some cable choke action, and tosses his bandanna at Vince. He's so rudo! More Austin pounding. Taker hits Old School off the crowd barrier and tosses Austin in the ring, and Austin bails back down the aisle. He finally gets some shots in, but Taker reverses a whip into the railings. More brawling back down to the ring, and Taker gets a chair, but Austin jumps him getting in the ring. He gets a swinging neckbreaker, and works Taker's knee in the corner. And works it. Taker breaks out and Austin misses a chair in the corner, allowing Taker to get his flying clothesline. Tombstone attempt, and Austin slips out, but Taker shoves him off a Stunner attempt and hits a big boot for two. Austin hits the floor and Taker beats him up some more. He goes for Vince, however, and Austin cheapshots him. Back to working the knee on the ringpost. Chopblock on the floor, and more knee stompage. Back inside, Austin works it some more and sneaks in a low blow for good measure. Legbar, then another two low blows, then back to the legbar. Taker legdrops his way out and hits an Irish whip, then throws Austin outside. Austin goes into the steps, then takes a chokeslam through the announce table!

    The announcers remain silent, until Vince nudges JR and raises his eyebrows expectantly. JR sighs, rolls his eyes, and yells "OH MY GOD! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!!" Taker goes for Vince again, then goes back to Austin, covering him in the ring for two. Austin calls for a time-out as Taker stomps him. Heh. Slam and elbowdrop gets two. Back to the floor, and Austin nails Taker with a monitor. Austin rolls inside and taunts the crowd while Taker blades, then he removes a turnbuckle pad to expose the TINY STEEL RING OF DEATH. Austin beats up Taker on the floor some more, then gets a Thesz Press to BIG BIG heel heat. Austin grins at the crowd. He is the MAN. That gets two. And another. And another. Yet another. Taker fights him back again, so Austin kicks him low for two. Bossman straddle, and Austin stomps a mudhole. Heyman brings up managing both guys. Whoa, that's pretty, uh, weird. Vince begins cheering for Taker, and JR quickly reminds him that AUSTIN'S his man now. Austin gets a sleeper, which is quickly broken up with a belly-to-back by Taker. Austin chairshot and the Stunner get only a two, to a big pop. So Austin tries his NEW finisher-beating Taker into a pulp with the chair. Taker counters with a low blow, chokeslam and he wears Austin out with the chair. Isn't it Ironic. Don't you think? Triple H comes in with his trusty sledge, and Taker promptly nails him. Final shot for Austin gets two, broken up by Vince, so Taker goes for him. Austin tries to sneak attack Taker, and clobbers Vince instead. Such wackiness. Last Ride attempt on Austin, but Trip nails Taker with the sledge. Kane's out FOR REVENGE, but unfortunately the cameraman is so distracted by this that he misses Austin pinning Taker at 23:07.***1/4 It all ends rather quietly, with Austin and Trip just kinda grinning at the entrance while the Brothers Dead fume in the ring.

    Final Thought: Good show, but nothing real historical in it. I'm sure all the Benoit Boyz will transform this night into some sort of Holy Event, marking his God-like ascension, and he did make the show much more watchable, but that was about it. What's happened since then, on the other hand...Now THAT'S good wrasslin'.

    Ian Challis

    Mail the Author

    Comment about this article on the EZBoard

  • BLAH


    Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
    Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission