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/15 January 2000

WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor




The announcers this week are Michael Hayes and Jonathan Coachman.

Christian vs. Gangrel w/Luna
A hiptoss and some arm wringing by Christian early on. Hayes and Coachman suggest that the Rock insulted some of the superstars by calling the whole roster 'Jabronis' on Raw. Inverted ddt attempt countered by a Gangrel double arm suplex. Crowd works up a 'Gangrel sucks!' chant. Nice pair of corkscrew elbows by Gangrel. Luna tosses in a chair and distracts the ref, Gangrel goes for the chair, but Christian dropkicks it into his face. Christian hits an inverted ddt(called a 'reverse slop drop' by Hayes) on the chair and picks up the win at 5:12.

We look back on Raw- The entire roster led by the Rock got Mick Foley reinstated and set up the DX vs. Acolytes and Rock/Sock matchup. To that match, and it comes down to Mankind vs. HHH, Helmsley gets the pin, but the bloodied Foley takes out HHH after the match. On Smackdown, Foley says that Mankind isn't up to the task of facing HHH at the RUmble, but Cactus Jack sure is, and then as Cactus Jack, he proceeds to beat the shit out of the fake Mankind that HHH had in the ring with him. BANG BANG!

Cactus Jack footage: a few clips of Cactus Jack in various crazy Japanese deathmatches are shown, including his awesome elbowdrop from the ladder onto Terry Funk in the finals of the 1995 King Of The Deathmatch Tournament.

Slam of the Week: from Smackdown, Big Slow abandons the Rock during their tag match against HHH/Xpac, leaving Rock to eat a Pedigree and the pin, and then a chokeslam from Big Slow to finalize the heel turn.

Ivory vs. Jacqueline
Jacqueline does the US women's wrestling standard hair throws. Ivory's fireman's carry slam gets two. Jacqueline hits a crossbody coming out of the corner, and counters Ivory's rollthrough with a rollthrough of her own for the pinfall at 1:49. The bulk of the match was pretty bad, but the counter of a counter ending was kinda cool.

Hey! An ad for the other WWF, the World Wildlife Fund!

On Raw, Chris Jericho and Chyna, the co-intercontinental champions, faced the Hollys in a tag match. Jericho refused the tag, which left Chyna to get pinned following the Hollycaust. On Smackdown, Chyna tells Tori that Jericho is fantasizing about her, so Kane, in defense of his crazy woman, demands a match against Jericho. Jericho, it 'trying to talk his way out of it', insults Tori and Kane a whole bunch. Jericho put up a good fight, but fell victim to the chokeslam and tombstone.

More Cactus Jack Footage: The big elbow into the dumpster, then the New Age Outlaws shoving the dumpster off the stage.

Even More Cactus Jack Footage: highlights of the handicap match between Jack and Mideon/Viscera.

Kaientai vs. Jason Lee and Danny Holiday
Jason Lee gets a whole heap of offense in on Taka, even a top rope hurracanrana for a two count. Funaki tagged in, and we get the always beautiful Kaientai chinlock/dropkick to the face double team. Jason Lee misses a moonsault, then eats a Taka missile dropkick and a Michinoku Driver, which nets the victory for Kaientai at 4:36.

Mean Street Posse vs. Jack Black, Jerry Miller, and BJ Payne
Unfortunately this isn't the Jack Black of Tenacious D fame. We look back to 2 weeks ago on Smackdown where the Posse, in search of their first victory, failed in a handicap match against Kaientai. Joey Bas in to start things off. A couple of nice suplexes, of the vertical and gutwrench variety. Rodney tagged in, kicking away in the corner. Rodney backdrops him over into the Stock Exchange powerbomb from Joey Abs, but since Rodney is the legal man, Joey's pin doesn't count. Rodney covers, but Pete Gas says he wants to get the pin. Gas goes for the pin after a powerslam, but another of the jobbers makes the save. Everybody in for a Pier 6 brawl-Hey look, here comes Kaientai-Taka dropkicks Jack Black onto Pete Gas, 1, 2, 3! HA! That's the coolest run-in I've ever seen! Jack Black, Jerry Miller, and BJ Payne are your winners at 2:51.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

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