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/26 February 2000

WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor




This report is brought to you in part by Pepsi-Cola's Storm, the greatest caffeinated soda in the known universe.

Joey Abs w/Rondey and Pete Gas vs. Essa Rios w/Lovely Lita Meter Maid
Abs takes control immediately, stomping away on Rios, and then hitting his always nice vertical suplex. Rios does some flippy cartwheeling stuff to avoid Abs, and connects with a spinning heel kick. He goes for a 'rana, but Abs stops his momentum during the downswing, and whips him back up and over his head, slamming Rios face first into the mat in a damn impressive manuever. Abs hits his running springboard splash for 2. Rios regains control and lands a swinging 'rana from the top, and finishes things with a moonsault press to put away Abs at 3:55. Lita hops in and hits her moonsault as per the routine, then as Rodney and Pete get on the apron, Lita and Rios each dropkick one Posse member to the outside, and then climb up top for stereo planchas. If they're not careful, Lita's gonna overshadow Rios pretty quickly.

Free For All of the Week- Cactus Jack spears the DX Express on Raw.

On Smackdown- Cactus thanked the fans, just in case he isn't succesful at No Way Out, and then Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley had some 'cops' arrest Cactus for damaging the DX Express bus, and they took him to a holding cell at the arena. The 'cops' hand the keys over to HHH, who reveals that the holding cell is chained to the new DX Express bus, and proceeds to drag Cactus off in the cage behind the bus.

Now we take a 'special look' at previous Hell in the Cell matches, which only looks at Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels and Undertaker vs. Mankind, ignoring the WM15 and Kennel from Hell horrors, and the 2 or 3 cell matches from various Raws. This 'special look' quickly morphs into a video package for the No Way Out main event, with HHH bragging about how he'll end Foley's career, and Cactus threatening to dive off the cell and onto HHH. I really hope Foley knows what the hell he's doing here.

On Smackdown- X-pac used a 'flamethrower' to shoot a fireball in Kane's face.

Ivory vs. Jacqueline for the WWF Women's Title
Ivory trips up Jackie and puts on an stf-alike, pulling on her hair rather than grabbing a facelock. Ivory then goes to work on twisting Jackie's arm, and hammering on it a bit. Jackie gets a sunset flip for 2, and then slaps on a camel clutch that she takes into a weird rollup, and then does an odd bow and arrow hold into a pinning combination to retain at 1:45. I was seriously amazed that a WWF women's match would be the one to have the rollups I've never seen before, with Essa Rios, Joey Abs, and Shoichi Funaki on the same show.

On Smackdown- Big Slow says 'I'm not a bad guy, I have footage!' and then rolls said footage, showing that Rock did indeed lose the Rumble, despite the ref's ruling. Slow teamed with Kurt Angle to face the team of Rock and Chris Jericho, when Chyna chaired Slow, drawing the DQ. Slow got a Rock Bottom and Walls of Jericho, and then Jericho wnet after Kurt Angle as Rock and Slow fought to the back, where Slow threw the Rock 'direckaly' through a glass window.

WWF Axess fan festival- March 31st - April 2nd at Anaheim Convention Center.

Mideon vs. Prince Albert
'I punch you, you punch me' for a while until Albert whips Mideon to the buckles and hits a corner charge. Albert follows up with his in the ropes slingshot. They take it out of the ring, where Mideon gewt staired. Back inside, and a Prince Albert butterfly suplex nearly lands Mideon on the top of his skull. Splash misses, Mideon gets in a suplex, and a 2nd rope elbow for 2, but he makes the mistake of whipping Albert into the ropes, as a pump kick ends it with Albert victorious at 3:04.

Headbangers vs. Tracy Smothers and Rick Michaels
Smothers elbows out of a rear waistlock and hits a forearm off the ropes, along with a few nice kicks. Rick Michaels comes in and eats a crossbody off the top, and falls victim to the Stage Dive and damn, that was quick at 1:45.

Funaki vs. David Young
Shoulderblock off the ropes by Young, and we have a rope running sequence that sees Funaki dropkick Young. Young to the outside, and Funaki lands a tope. Back in, and Young pulls off a nice 'rana for 2. A Funaki bulldog attempt is countered, Youngs corner charge misses, Funaki gets a snap suplex. Funaki drops him with a side suplex, then slaps on a surfboard for a while. Now Funaki hits a neckbreaker, which Young sells quite nicely. Irish whip is reversed, and Young hits a damn fine spinebuster. He goes for a moonsault form the 2nd rope, but Funaki pulls up the knees, and then hops up in the corner to hit the Diamond Dust for the win at 4:26.

PPV hype brings us home.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

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