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/11 March 2000

WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor




Its time, its time, its WWF syndicated filler time!

Godfather vs. Mideon
Godfather says that the crowd seems more inclined towards seeing Mideon get his ass kicked than having hos offered to him, so we're stuck with this, folks. Mideon heads outside and frightens the hos, so Godfather goes out and starts the fun. Mideon takes a surprisingly nice stair bump, smacking his legs on the stairs and flying over them. Now they get back in the ring, where Mideon counters a backdrop, and gets a side slam for 2. 2nd rope choke, and then we get the always lovely double clothesline. Both men up at the same time, Godfather with Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine, a big boot, a scoop slam, the annoying legdrop, Ho Train, and finally the Pimp Drop to end this shite at 2:15.

The 'Tension Mounts' video package, showing the 'McMahon civil war' with Stephanie slapping Shane, and Rock interfering in both the Kane vs. Big Show and HHH vs. Rikishi matches and Rock Bottoming the heels. To get back at Mr. Rock, the McMahons stuck him in a cage with Chris Benoit, but Rock escaped, and post match, HHH missed the Rock and smacked Show with a chair. This shifts now to a Smackdown recap, which sees the 'coalition' of the McMahons focus on taking out the Rock. Rock overcame the Radicals in a handicap match, but fell victim to a post match beating. Then, in another handicap match, this time against Those Damn Dudleys, Rock ate 3D through a table and lost. At the close of Smackdown, Rock came out with a pipe as an 'equalizer' to attack HHH and Big Show, but HHH got the pipe and gave Rock a thorough beating, and then Rock tasted a chokeslam and Pedigree.

Tazz and Test vs. Bossman/Prince Albert
ON Smackdown, Mr. Bob Backlund slapped the crossface chickenwing on Tazz. To the match- Bossman and Tazz lockup and Tazz gets shoved to the heel corner. The requiaite 'Bossman Sucks' chant begins. Labert in now, blind tag and big boot by Test. Albert's choke into powerbomb gets 2. Albert does the in the ropes slingshot. And now its everyone's favorite move, the double clothesline. Tazz in, side Tazzplex on Albert, Tazzmizzion is broken up by Bossman, and everybody brawls outside for a DCOR at 3:13.

Raw- Mark Henry beat D-Von Damn Dudley, then The Damn Dudleys 3D'd him and Buh Buh superbombed Mae Young through a table. On Smackdown Henry and Young were in 'serious mode' for a fairly pointless interview.

D'lo Brown vs. Essa Rios w/Lovely Lita Meter Maid
We begin with a side headlock that gets pushed into the ropes and starts a sequence that sees Rios attempt a 'rana but get hotshotted when D'lo dumps him backwards. Rios flips out of a backdrop attempt, then hits a flying headscissors and a 'rana on D'lo. Now to the corner for some chops, and Rios sends him across to the opposite corner where he connects with a splash. Rios slaps on a choke, and then D'lo gets Rios into the corner and chops away. Rios counters a backdrop with a kick, sweeps the leg and gets a 2 count. Michael Hayes says that either HHH or Big Show is 'gonna see the street, and its gonna be a badstreet.' Rios with an arrogant cover, but the ref refuses to make the count. D'lo blocks a punch and hits a sidekick, followed by a flying forearm. Scoop slam and snap legdrop for a 2 count. Rios manages a flurry of punches, but D'lo grabs him and lands the SkyHi. D'lo heads to the top, conceivably for the LoDown, but he's too busy yelling at Lita, and Rios gets to his feet and takes down D'lo with a super armdrag for a 2 count. Tornado ddt attempt, but D'lo shoves him off, and Rios holds his knee on the landing, which draw the ref's attention. Lits takes this opportunity to head up top and nail D'lo with a swinging 'rana. A top rope moonsault by Rios is then enough to get the victory at 5:33.

Slam Of The Week- Rock takes 3D through the table on Smackdown courtesy of Those Damn Dudleys.

Thrasher w/Mosh vs. Funaki
Thrasher grabs a side headlock, Funkai shoves him off and hits a shoulderblock and a dropkick. Funaki lands a facecrusher bulldog, and then hits a crossbodyblock out of the corner. Funaki is taken outside where he meets a shortarm clothesline from Mosh, hich gives Thrasher a 2 count back inside. Mosh gets some more shots in during a 2nd rope choke. Thrasher does a jawbreaker, and then Funaki maganes a sunset slip for 2. Mosh up on the apron now, Funaki sends Thrasher into him, but he stops just short of a collison. This distracts him enough for Funaki to roll him up from behind for the pin.(I forgot to time this one, probably around 3-4 minutes.) Post match, Funaki falls prey to a Mosh reverse DVD and the Stage Dive.

The show closing Heat hype is rendered very much moot by the lateness of this report.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

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