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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Let's see how long I remember to do this...

Two Years Ago On Shotgun Saturday Night: Jeremy Poursine recaps a lot of video packages (Vince McMahon leaves the WWF forever! Big Show and Undertaker join together!) and one Joey Abs squash.

One Year Ago On Metal: Kim watches Crash Holly beat Essa Rios (with many headlocks) but nothing much else, since she only taped the first ten minutes.   

TV 14 LDV. Open.

Rhyno & Mike Awesome vs the Big Show and Billy Gunn - How do you go from a main event to Jakked? And the first introduction too. I think they have a shot of Awesome powerboming Hogan through a table in that video, odd. Your announcers are Michael Hayes and Jonathon Coachman. The crowd poops for the Big show which is scary enough. (Did you just say "poops?" - CRZ) show and Awesome will start. Awesome calls Show on - lock up, no, Awesome moves out of the way, kick, kick, kick, shoulder, shoulder. open hand slap. Show's had enough of that - Awesome is thrown into the corner. Open hand slap. Another. Knee. Knee. Corner whip, follow in clothesline. Headbutt. Headbutt. Tag to Gunn. Kick to the midsection. Corner whip, Awesome walks up the corner and jumps off with a back elbow to take Gunn down. Axhandle to the back. Tag to Rhyno. Hold for a right. Right. Right. Right. Right. right. Corner whip, Rhyno charges in and gets a boot for his trouble. Gunn charges out, blocks a clothesline (?),  ducks under and hits a reverse neckbreaker. Cover one two kickout. Whip, reversed, Awesome with a forearm to the back, Rhyno with a spinebuster. Hayes threatens to beat up Shaq and Kobe if they show up when the WWF is at the Staples Arena - he's a Sixers fan. Cover one two kickout. Rhyno picks him up, Gunn with a right, right, right, whip, reversed, charge shoulder to the gut by Rhyno. Rhyno sets up for the Gore - but Gunn sees it coming and clotheslines him. Both men down. Crawling for the tag. Tag to Awesome, tag to Show. Show with a right for Awesome, right for Rhyno, clothesline for Awesome, clothesline for Rhyno. Goozle for Awesome - goozle for Rhyno. Will it be a double chokeslam? No, Awesome gets a kick in - double whip, no, double clothesline from the Show. Tag to Gunn. Headbutt for Rhyno knocks him out of the ring and Show follows. Back in the ring, Awesome reverses a whip into a side belly to belly suplex (complicated by Gunn not wanting to take the bump or just not being sure what bump he's supposed to be taking) Cover one two kickout. Whip, head down too soon, Fameasser! Cover one two three. (3:23) That move hasn't worked for a long time, hmm. And here's Rhyno to make sure we get that Gore in - he's in and out quick. 

Still to come, did Angle stay WCW champion? Scotty faces Justin later. But next, the Rock has returned.

The Rock Returned. And then Smackdown. (9:48) Rock returns to the ring against Shane in a street fight on RAW? If I take much longer doing this, you'll know already.

Coming up, Albert against Hugh Morrus. Plus, Tough Enough Clips. But next, Scotty is in the house.

Scotty 2 Hotty (w/Heat Hype) vs Justin Credible - Scotty hosts Heat tomorrow! Only on MTV! People want to lynch Justin, but the sounds of it. About normal. Circle. Scotty starts the clap. Lockup, battle for position, Scotty wins! Break, no Justin gets in a cheap shot, right no it's blocked and Scotty hits his own. Justin pushes Scotty away and Scotty comes back with a right right right, Justin misses his right and Scotty uses his atomic butt drop. Off the ropes, dropkick cover one two kickout. Armbar. Knee by Justin, whip, clothesline misses, Scotty's flying headscissors doesn't. Justin charges at Scotty - backdropped to the floor! Justin is hurt and stumbling - Scotty off the ropes, baseball slide dropkick misses and Justin picks him up and crotches him on the ring post. Justin goes in, then out to Scotty back in, then back in. Stomp. Choke with an eye rake on the ropes. Raking the eyes. In the midst of pushing a "Austin doesn't really care about the Alliance, only himself" storyline, Coach says "Sean Stasiak, who in my opinion can be a big player for the Alliance" to make me laugh. Whip, back elbow, cover one two kickout cover one two kickout. Chinlock. Scotty gets the crowd behind him, elbow, elbow, right, right, off the ropes, sleeper by Justin but Scotty reverses it into a back suplex. Justin pulls himself up as Scotty tries to get up himself. Justin's right is blocked, Scotty's is not. Repeat. Dancing right. Off the ropes, diving forearm. Corner whip, Justin ends up laying on the rope for some reason. Running kick the midsection, and Justin lands crotches on the ropes. Scotty bounces the ropes to increase the pain. Corner whip, off the ropes, Scotty goes for the bulldog but Justin ducks under, back suplex but Scotty lands on his feet, off the ropes, SUPERKICK! Haha. One two three (3:50) I love Scotty and all but Justin's a freaking genius.

Essa takes on Raven later. But when we return, will Angle push Austin Over The Edge?

Use 1-800-Call-ATT to tell someone that Austin robbed Kurt Angle of the WCW Title last Monday. That led to other stuff (2:17) Wow, a Summerslam Graphic.

Tough Enough Clips (2:31)

Hugh Morrus vs Albert - Someone figured that this was such a great match up we needed to do it again. Listen to the pop for Albert. This time, we start in the ring. Circle. Knee by High, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Go Hugh go. Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Albert's in pain. Right to the back. Right. WCW referee Billy Silverman asks Hugh to please stop using the closed fist. Slow corner whip, slow charge in with a splash. Corner whip, reversed, Hugh bounces out Albert whips him into the other corner - splash. Hugh staggers done to a seated position - slingshot into the second rope. Hugh out, Albert out. Picking Hugh by the hair, right. Knee. Knee. Throw Hugh back in. Right. Whip, head down too soon, Hugh with a right, Albert pops up. Hugh says he's very sorry but too late - right, double underhook hanging suplex! Cover one two kickout! Albert calls for the press slam - if he can get a grip, he'll do it. There's one press. Running plash one two kickout. HOW? Right. Whip, clothesline misses, scissors kick doesn't. Albert calls for the Baldo Bomb - hey, that's Mark Jindrak on the ring apron! Albert swings and misses him, allowing Hugh to get up and get ready - Albert's right misses and Morrus hits a messy back suplex. Hugh going up - flying elbow drop but no one's home. Jindrak's in, Silverman checking on Morrus and being distracted, and he hits an messy DDT on Albert. Maybe Hugh should try the moonsault this time? No, he's just covering - one two kickout. Albert's not going down like that. Hugh with a forearm, whip, clothesline misses, Jindrak grabs the leg so Albert grabs him by the neck. Morrus goes to charge Albert from behind, but he moves out of the way and it's Jindrak who gets knocked down. Baldo Bomb! (4:33) The wily Albert wins again. Jindrak and Morrus sell their pains.

Oh no, Drowning Pool is the song for Summerslam.

Raven vs Essa Rios (white pull aways, red and blue tights) - He must have a friend who just likes making wrestling tights. That's all I can figure. Circle, lockup, push in the corner, right right right right right right, whip, flying headscissors by Essa, following by a clothesline to take Raven to the floor. Essa watches Raven on the floor - running dropkick through the ropes, with Essa staying in the ring, backing up, and doing it again. Maybe Raven should try something else - pescado but Raven moves out of the way! Drop toe hold and Raven goes face first into the stairs. Essa throws Raven into the ring and goes up to the apron, but gets a shoulder to the gut and a suplex. Essa falls behind, pushes Raven into the ropes and hits a right when he bounces out. Again. Now Essa clips on Raven's right leg.  Stomp to the right side. Stomp again. Going up top (already?) - corkscrew senton misses! Right right right right right right right pound the head into the mat times six. Choke. Wristlock, kick, kick, knee "C'mon Essa, C'mon!" Essa's up to his feet - right (free hand), kick, kick, kick, kick, right, Mexican Armdrag and a spin kick! Off the ropes, springboard crossbody with a twist cover one two kickout. right, whip, reversed, Raven goes for a dropkick but Essa grabs the legs and catapults him into the corner. Inside cradle one two eye rake by Raven. Both up, Essa misses a clothesline, Raven with a right, Going to the second rope, Essa catches up to him, right, right, going to the top rope, right right, top rope 'rana but Raven isn't going anywhere. Raven off the second rope - ax-handle but Essa gets in a kick to the midsection. Essa with a kick, caught by Raven, right by Essa misses, another swipe to get loose is avoided, Raven flips him backwards, and Essa's feet catch on the top rope on the way down, causing him to go face first into to the mat. It wouldn't be a Raven/Rios match without one really bad looking moment. And that always means it's time for the Raven Effect, cover one two three. (3:54) This week, we're tied. Am I still supposed to be keeping count? Who knows.

I bet there was Heat Hype here but my VCR isn't behaving this weekend. Or everyone else is wrong, I can't tell.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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