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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




I DID listen to the last minute of Metal and Al Snow replaced Chris Leary so it probably was an improvement.

tv 14 ldv attitude.

the Dudleyz vs Kaientai (w/flags) - Oh, crap, this week the announcers are Jonathon Coachman and the aforementioned Chris Leary and now I wish I watched Metal instead. Maybe they'll prove me wrong. TAKA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY. "HA! Dudley Boyz! Bubba! D-Von! WAAAAAAASSSSSSSUP! HAHAHAHAHA You may be brothers but we are Kaientai are eeeeeevil!" SHUT UP LEARY. "inDEED!" I don't need help to figure out what they're going to say. TAKA and D-Von will start this off - TAKA with the chest bump! D-Von slaps him. TAKA with an open hand slap, slap, slap, one big chop from D-Von (!) takes him down. Charles Robinson is your ref. D-Von right misses, eye poke, armdrrag, armdrag, dropkick, tag to Funaki. Funaki ducks under a non-existent clothesline, right right right whip, reversed, powerslam by D-Von. Tag to Bubba. Right. Someone wants tables. Whip, clothesline misses, cross body is caught and Bubba is proud of himself, turning around to show everyone. That gives TAKA the opening he needs - second rope dropkick knocks Funaki on top one, two. Off the ropes, under the clothesline, flying headscissors. Funaki off the ropes but he probably shouldn't have done that right next to D-Von - knee to the back, flapjack on the top rope. Elbow drop. Tag to D-Von. Slam. Off the ropes, leg drop. One two kickout. That never betas anyone! Right. Choke on the second rope. D-Von and Charles talk so Bubba can get a punch, pull Funaki out and throw him into the steps. D-von picks up Funaki, tag to Bubba, right. Slap to the face. Right. Bubba going to the second rope, but TAKA's over to yell at him. Charles breaks it up before it can go anywhere but Bubba still does his usual Kaientai impersonation. The stalling does allow time for Funaki to recover and he hits a low blow. Tope rope 'rana! Funaki falls on top and gets a cover for one two kickout. Race for the tag  - tag to D-Von, tag to TAKA. D-Von's right misses, TAKA's does not. Shotay, shotay, whip, reversed, superkick!  SPin kick fo rBubba. Right, right, right, D-Von charges, TAKA sidesteps and Bubba gets it. D-Von's sorry, but doesn't have much time to be, as he gets a double kick, double suplex! Double dropkick for Bubba! Kaientai are cooking! Drop toe hold for Bubba, there's the camel clutch, clap, slap, dropkick to the face. Celebration. Bubba pops back in the ring for the double clothesline and that may be the end of that. Wait, Bubba's going up again - "BONZAI!" and the second rope senton misses. Wait, TAKA's grabbing Bubba's legs in a familiar way - both (mutely) yell "WASSSUP" and Funaki (almost) hits the headbutt. TAKA does the double 3D sign and tells Funaki to spin around. Funaki makes the cross sign and TAKA pushes him, but D-Von's been standing there watching this too long and charges - both Kaientai members duck, then TAKA scoops him - MICHINOKU DRIVER! COVER ONE TWO THR-NO! WHAT THE HECK! I think we're running out of options - that pescado by Funaki that wasn't even close to hitting Bubba probably doesn't help. TAKA with the whip, reversed, Bubba in - 3D! (5:21) Bubba stares a hole through TAKA. 

Still to come, Tough Enough hit the road, and the US Title is on the line - Essa Rios vs Kanyon. But next, Stone Cold hurt Kurt Angle where it hurts the most.

Austin and the Medals, a two part adventure. I wonder if they're have the Smack Down clips edited down next week. (8:26)

Coming up, Tommy Dreamer makes his singles debut on Jakked versus Scotty Too Hotty, but next, Kanyon puts the US Title on the line.

M&M's Successful Kanyon Title Defense Of Thursday.

Essa Rios (red tights and neck band) vs Who Better Than Kanyon for WCW U.S. Title - Sign: "I'm better than Canyon!!!" Tazz guests on Heat tomorrow. He's gonna have issues with Al Snow. Maybe they'll hug each other a whole bunch and then topple a table. Brian Hebner is your referee. Lockup, no Kanyon with a kick, right, right, toss in the corner, right, right, shoulder. Corner whip, Kanyon charges into a back elbow, right is ducked, right right right, corner whip no reversed no reverse into a flying headscissors. Arm drag, arm drag, armbar. Leary: "[Kanyon] is twice the size of Essa." In to the ropes, there's a break, right, shoulder, shoulder, right. All by Kanyon. Whip, back drop but Essa lands on his feet, and gets a a kick as he comes off the ropes. Kanyon charge but Essa drops down and pulls down the top rope, so Kanyon goes out. Then Essa goes out - slingshot 'rana! Stomp, Kanyon thrown back in. Cover one two th-kickout. Right right right, corner whip, reversed, Essa kips up, Kanyon scoots under him and gets Essa on his shoulders - face first off the shoulders powerbomb. That's always a cool move. Kanyon want to know. Cover one two kickout. Knee choke. Hebner yells at him. Right. Whip, hiptoss, blocked, Essa is blocked, Kanyon turns it into a swinging neckbreaker. One two kickout. Fireman's carry by Kanyon, and to the second rope - no, Essa with an elbow, then slides down Kanyon's back and grabs on to his midsection, powerbomb! Essa couldn't hold for a cover and both men are down for a count. Coach: "Will you just shut up? Shut up!" Both up - Kanyon's punch is blocked, Essa's isn't. Repeat. Another right misses and this time Essa just dropkicks him. Jumping heel kick. Whip,  backdrop. Stomp. Right. Wristlock. Kick to the chest, Mexican armdrag into the powerslam one two kickout. Essa is besides himself. Kany9on is up, right misses, Essa's right misses, I'm Better Than You does not miss. One two three. (4:33) Kanyon argues with the holder of a "Kanyon sucks" sign.

Billy Gunn and Mike Awesome fight later. Next, highlights of Tough Enough.

I hurt my right pinky finger. You don't know how much this affects my life.

Tough Enough - oddly, the WWF uses it's own chyron for the Wrestler Graphics here. (2:33) Tough Enough is off next week, but tune in the week after. Coming up, Billy Gunn and Mike Awesome, but next, the Worm is in the house.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs Tommy Dreamer - I think Scotty sent a shout out to Sammy Sosa. I don't recognize Dreamer's music but I'd assume it's a generic version of one of his old ECW themes or something. Dreamer is wearing his Austin shirt. Mike Sparks is your referee. Lockup, Dreamer pushes Scotty in the corner. Knee knee right right, corner whip, kip up, Dreamer charges out to a hiptoss. Scotty dances, Dreamer misses a punch - superkick. Scotty takes off the shirt and gets squealed. Baseball slide dropkick misses, Dreamer clotheslines. Railing smash, right right, dancing right but it misses, Scotty with the back suplex lift on to the barrier. It's not really a Tommy Dreamer match unless his groin gets hurt. Dreamer thrown in. Dreamer reaches for Scotty but Scotty goes under his legs, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Scotty gets a boot up but charges into a reverse neckbreaker. Dreamer picks him up, shoulder to the rail. Whip, Sky Hi. Dreamer with a STF! Leary sells the hold and Coach makes fun of him for doing so. It's not the prettiest STF in the world, but it's a STF. Scotty gets to the ropes. Slam. Dreamer to the second rope, then moving over on the ropes a step - Raven pose, then elbowdrop misses. Both up slow. Right misses, Scotty's doesn't. Right. Whip, reversed, short clothesline is ducked but Scotty runs right into the powerslam. Dreamer going to the outside, now he's going up - Scotty up and crotching him. (SEE!)  Dreamer falls in the ring, he's bent over, Scotty has that look, off the ropes, Dreamer ducks out of the way, kick wham DDT. Hmm, Dreamer's making that face and doing that dance. W O R M but Scotty's up before he can even really try - two handed bulldog. Now let's do it right, W O R M. Scotty not covering and running around - second rope springboard DDT! That'll work. One two three. (4:00)

Clearsil Mike Awesome beat down of last Thursday.

"the one" Billy Gunn vs Mike Awesome - Awesome's music still sounds to me like it was taken from some Mega Man level. Headlock by Awesome, right, right, off the ropes, shoulder block. Over under hiptoss by Billy Gunn. Armdrag into an armbar. For whatever reason, Leary's been sticking up for the Alliance a whole bunch tonight. Right, right, push into the corner.  Right, right by Awesome. Corner whip, charge in, Gunn gets his boot up, Awesome's clothesline misses but Gunn's reverse neckbreaker does not. Cover one two kickout. Turnbuckle shot. Right. Off the ropes, Gunn charges but Awesome pulls down the top rope. Awesome springboard clothesline to the outside! Awesome with an ax-handle, throw into the steps. Gunn thrown in. Awesome to the top - flying clothesline. Cover one two kickout. Slam. Awesome going up again. Splash hits...the mat. Leary thought Tajiri was being set up too. Maybe he still is. Both men down. Working that ten count. Awesome's right is blocked, Gunn's is not. Right. Right. Right. Whip, back elbow. Cover one two kickout. Turnbuckle smash. Right. Right. Kick. Corner whip, Gunn splash comes up empty.  Awesome with a kick, grab, is he gonna hit it? No, Gunn slides down the back, ducks the right, kick, Fameasser, one two three. (4:14) I thought that wasn't his finisher any more.

Coming up heat, Matt Hardy will return to action. Tazz guest hosts. It's Heat. Later.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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