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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Attitude TV 14 LDV

Open. Since Essa is getting hit with a move, they probably won't get around to taking that show of him for a while, I guess. Anyway, no one made a change of opens THIS week.

Spike Dudley (w/2 Weeks Ago On Raw) vs Rod Steele (already in the ring) - Your announcers are Chris Leary and Kevin Kelly. Kelly for Coach is like the Konnan to Steiner TV Title change, you know? Thank you Fink. Let's watch Spike get killed. Brian Hebner is your referee. Circle. Lockup, headlock by Rod, Spike battles to get out but he's having trouble. Long time in there. Off the ropes, shoulderblock by Steele. Elbowdrop but no one's home. Off the ropes, Steele drops down too soon and gets stomped. Headlock by Spike. Push in the ropes by Steele, punches, whip, reversed, Spike with a hiptoss. Dropkick. Whip, hiptoss blocked, Steele hiptoss blocked, Steele clothesline ducked, Steele shot to the neck takes Spike by surprise. Atomic drop, hold on for a spinebuster, one two no. Stomp. Stomp. Choke on the ropes. Whip, clothesline misses, Spike's does not, fall on cover one two no. Charge but Rod flapjacks him neck first on the top rope. Right. Suplex. One two no. Stomp. Slam, no Spike falls behind, kick, swinging neckbreaker. Spike wins the punching battle, whip, reversed, head down too soon so Spike rolls him up for one two. Bulldog, one two shoulder up. Spike argues that it didn't get up but it doesn't matter. Kick in the butt. Choke on the bottom rope. Spike is angry when pulled back. Eye poke by Rob - quick spinning neckbreaker, one two NO. Rod's mad - that's probably got him a win in the past. Spike smashed into the corner. Corner whip, but Spike comes out with the head to the gut. Dudley Dog. One two three. (4:19) Spike and Tajiri will try to be tag champs on Heat tomorrow.

Undertaker's new attitude change, later. Also, Perry Saturn, but next, Booker may have pushed Austin too far.

XWF commercial in this group. 

Austin and Booker T and the Boss Man and I'm in a hurry to get done. (6:07)

Coming up, Funaki! But next, Saturn's here and who knows what could happen.

I didn't notice the old WCW clips in the Undertaker video commercial before. That's a nice touch.

Triple H/U2 (:32)

Perry Saturn vs Brian Gamble (already in the ring, w/o skates) - This amuses me greatly because Gamble's a ex-RollerJam guy, you see. They book for me. He's got a martial arts get up, too, which makes sense, because for a skater, he sure did kick a lot. Your ref is still Brian Hebner lockup, armdrag from Gamble. Saturn gets up, and slaps Gamble hard in the face. Gamble pushes back. Aggressive lockup by Saturn, and they battle for leans on the ropes. Saturn sneaks in a headbutt for control. Rights, which Gamble sells goofily. Corner whip, Saturn charges, Gamble moves, kicks to the midsection. Gamble pauses because Hebner's trying to tell him that's illegal (huh) and Saturn runs out of the corner and takes Gamble down hard. Hard rights to the head. Push in the ropes, headbutt to the gut. Big kick to the head clothesline. Sharp elbow drop. Kelly unwittingly segues into Tough Enough hype; alas there is no Tough Enough to hype. Rare (non Essa) appearance of the Jakked double feature to check out the open field tackle by Saturn. Saturn with a whip, reversed, Saturn with a clothesline. Snap mare, hard kick to the back. Hebner checks on Gambles status. Stomp. Armbar, pulling Gamble's shoulder out of joint. In this week's edition of "Is Chris Leary secretly a heel announcer?", Leary defends the Undertaker's actions. Gamble get railed! Well, not really. But he is outside and almost thinks about leaving early. Saturn runs Gamble's back in to the apron. Gamble thrown back in. Bite to the head - jawbreaker by Gamble, which Saturn barely sells. Gamble off the ropes, back elbow. He's down a little for this - Saturn back up so Gamble can hit a spinning back kick. Saturn's had enough - armbar takeover, new Rings Of Saturn. Gamble sticks in this longer than normal but gives. (3:00) Saturn runs Hebner out of the ring, and if knew nothing more than what I saw, it'd seem like Saturn's hinted heel turn on Heat appears to be on - he looked very effective here. Hearing what you do hear, I wonder what Gamble could've done wrong to deserve what Saturn gave him (was the armdrag too stiff?) and if Saturn being the common denominator in two incidents on this show should probably be more focused on. 

Still to come, Crash is in the house, but next, a recap of the Undertaker's week.

Undertaker change (8:29)

Still to come, Crash, but up next, Funaki!

Here's another XWF commerical.

1-800-Call-ATT and tell them about the double figure fours on Last Monday

(sho) Funaki vs Shawn Hill (already in the ring) - Kelly wonders if Shawn Hill used to be in the Fugees, and Leary, the former music show host, thinks Cypress Hill was in the group. Circle. Lockup no Funaki ducks, kick to gut. Checks his hands, open hand slap. Chop by Shawn.  Exchange of chops. Shawn poses to the crowd, so Funaki slaps him in his behind. Chop knocks him down. Celebrate. You ref is Jimmy Korderas. Right. Whip, dropkick but Shawn holds the ropes. Shawn waits for him to get up - but Funaki's got the drop toe hold ready. Walk up the back, dropkick the face. Clap! Pick up, but Hill with right hands. Corner whip, reversed, Funaki charges in with a knee lift. Cover one two no. Funaki pauses. Whip, drop down, leapfrog but it's caught in a fireman's carry into a reverse DDT. Slow to cover - off the ropes, knee drop. No cover and Funaki gets to the ropes. Suplex. Kick to the shoulder. Funaki back with punches but the eyes get raked. Big slam. Shawn slowly going up - second rope moonsault is short and empty. Both slow up - Funaki up first, ducks a punch and hits his. Right. Right. Whip, dropkick to the head. Swinging neckbreaker. Head to the turnbuckle. Corner whip, reversed, Shawn charges into a double boot. Funaki out, clothesline misses, German suplex with bridge one two no. Shawn with a right. Whip, clothesline misses, Funaki with a sunset flip one two no. Shawn with a clothesline. Waistlock, but Funaki blocks. Shawn with forearms to the back and then a dropkick to knock Funaki in the corner. Shawn charges in but Funaki moves. Funaki to the second rope, punch blocked, Tornado DDT! One two three. (4:58) That's his move! I guess.

Lugz Rock Save of Last Monday

Crash vs Lex Lovett (already in the ring) - Your ref is Chad Patten. Lockup, Crash with an armbar, Lex with an armbar, forearm. Crash with a hammerlock, Lex with a hammerlock, Crash with a hammerlock. Kick. Whip, clothesline is ducked by Crash and he hits the dropkick. Dropkick. Slam. Going up - wait no he changes hi mind. Forearm, slam. Now he'll go up - bottom rope splash! one two no. Crash can't believe it. Crash with a headlock takedown. Kelly and Leary are short on things to hype. Up to their feet, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, headlock takedown. Talk about the 3 hour special on New Years Eve - Leary says his favorite is probably one of the Bra and Panty match, Kelly claims that's the only kind of match he could actually call, and Leary says he'd be happy calling (just) those. Up to their feet. Into the ropes! Clean break! Circle. Lockup, headlock. We've gone so far. Into the corner. Somehow, I think this won't be - yea, there's the kick. Corner whip, charge in but no one's home. Headlock takedown for a cover one two no. Up, off the ropes, over, over, under, stop short, headlock takedown. Very funny Crash. Now stop it. Up to their feet. Elbows. Still on. Belly to back but Crash lands on his feet. Crash's clothesline misses, Lex with a forearm to the back, Crash rebounds in and out of the corner - reverse suplex! Kelly calls it a modified suplex and Leary is happy because he thinks he should know the name of that mood and Kevin sighs but he's still wrong. Slam. Off the ropes, legdrop. Lazy cover, one tow no. Chinlock. Lex tells Patten to check! Ha. Still on. Still on. Up to his feet, Crash elbows out. Off the ropes, into a knee. Choke. Slam. Lex going up. Lex with the Harlem Hangover but no one's home. Both men slow up. Who gets the better of the punches? Crash. Crash with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. Clothesline. Whip, backdrop. Yell. Corner whip, reversed, Lex misses AGAIN. Crash Drop one two three. (6:06) Kelly and Leary didn't even notice till Crash got the three but it sounded like they were elated that this was over. Did Crash just pick his nose and eat it? EW. Crash is one strange dude.

Coming up on Heat, RVD vs Christian for the European Title - Waffles! Also, the Dudley Boyz vs Spike and Tajiri for the Tag Team Titles. Spend Christmas Eve with the WWF with RAW. Se you next week.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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