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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




One Year Ago, K-Kwik beat Funaki and Billy Gunn, Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko and Essa Rios won squashes.

tv 14 ldv attitude open's still the same. 

(sho) Funaki and WWF Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri (w/Torrie Wilson, Smackdown) vs Billy Kidman (Smackdown) and The Hurricane (Smackdown) - Your announce crew is still Coach and Leary - they haven't been split. Yet? We just get one Smackdown logo for the three people on the first team, so I guess that means Funaki got picked in some supplemental draft. Funaki and Tajiri each hold one of Torrie's hand as they walk together to the ring. Torrie's pants are especially lowriding. Coach also says all four cruiserweights in this match are going to be on Smackdown, but what does Coach really know? HEY, I guess this explains why Kidman was wearing the Hurricane shirt on Monday, they've put Kidman beating Helms for the belt when WCW first showed up behind them and are going back to their alliance from a year ago. Everyone shake hands! What's sportsmanship doing in wrestling? Kidman and Tajiri locking up (as the RAW Roster list scrolls by), headlock by Kidman, off the announce ropes, pushed into the ramp ropes but back with a shoulderblock. Off the near ropes, over, hiptoss by Tajiri but Kidman reverses but Tajiri lands on his feet and armdrags Kidman down. Big snap kick to the head and Kidman's down in the wrong corner. Funaki starts to come in (thinking he was gonna get the tag?) but Hurricane is in first and clotheslining Tajiri from behind, so now Funaki really is in and giving Hurricane a punch. Turnbuckle shot. The Japanese duo work over their opponents in opposite corners, and then there's a double whip - Kidman and Hurricane stop each other, turn around, and walk into double armdrag. Synchronized action now - Kidman and Hurricane misses clotheslines, Tajiri and Funaki with corner whips, Kidman and Hurricane with kips ups into spinning headscissors. Everyone stop and pose! Funaki and Hurricane back out, since they're the illegal men, and Kidman forearms Tajiri. Forearms. Tag to Hurricane. Corner whip, double hiptoss. Talking something over. Hurricane...poses, then off the ropes, and an assisted hiptoss legdrop on Tajiri. That's like an old 3 Count move, isn't it? One two no. Right by Hurricane, whip, Tajiri slides under, waistlock, Hurricane breaks free with back elbows, off the announce ropes and into a jumping heel kick. Funaki tagged in and stomping. Turnbuckle smash, kick, corner whip, charge in to a Hurricane elbow. Hurricane charges out, misses a clothesline, Funaki with a back suplex. Clap, off the ropes, dropkick to the face. Small celebration - he's serious today. Picking up Hurricane, but Hurricane with a knee. Headlock, off the ramp ropes (Kidman making a blind tag, though Hurricane appeared to signal to him as he was putting on the headlock, so it's only blind to Funaki), whip to the announce ropes, drop down so Kidman can catch Funaki in a fireman's carry - Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combo! Now that I know is 3 Count stuff - Kidman must be nostalgic or something. One two no. Stomp. Stomp. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Funaki slumps down but he's picked up and dragged by the hair to Hurricane's corner, so a tag can be made. Double whip, double back elbow. Hurricane picks up, snap mares down. Pose, off the ramp ropes, elbow drop. Cover one two no. Funaki with rights, but Hurricane stops it again with a knee. Whip to the far ropes, reversed, Funaki puts his head down too soon so Hurricane whips him (urg) to the corner, charge in splash but no one's home, Funaki hits the bulldog. Both men down and Funaki needs the tag. Let's watch Torrie lean over and pound the mat. Tag to Tajiri, tag to Kidman. Tajiri ducks the clothesline and hits a kick to the left thigh, right, left, kick to the stomach, right, kick to the left thigh, kick to the stomach (all in a couple seconds. Whip to the far ropes, reversed, handspring elbow. Corner whip, reversed, and there's the Tarantula. Hurricane walks over on the apron and stomps it free. Funaki charges at Kidman, but Kidman pulls down the middle rope and out goes Funaki. Kidman with a pescado out to take care of Funaki, but now Tajiri's to the apron - Asai moonsault to take everyone out. Now Hurricane's getting his cape - taking long enough. Signaling to the crowd. Going to the top rope - flying cross body to Tajiri and Funaki. everyone's on the outside - Funaki and Tajiri thrown back in, and now being worked over in opposite corners. Corner whips into each other, Tajiri and Funaki spin each other around, Hurricane kicks Funaki in the midsection but Tajiri manages to do the same to Kidman. Hurricane hits a "walking the ropes" Tornado DDT on Funaki, but Tajiri tries to the same and gets a spinebuster for his efforts. Double cover - Kidman and Tajiri are legal but the ref counts the other pin One Two Double Kickout! Crowd does not care. Leary wonders how you call that one, so I guess the concept of a legal person hasn't been explained to him yet (or he's watching lucha.) Hurricane ejects Funaki, then both men whip Tajiri - double head down, so Tajiri kicks Hurricane (who ends up outside fighting with Funaki), then ducks Kidman's clothesline before hit a back thrust kick on him. Tajiri is setting up for it - KO Kick! Rolling him over one two three! (5:39) I think Funaki is thrilled to have a win.

Coming up later, Kane's wacky antics. Test is headed to Smackdown, but he's here later. But next, we saw goodbye to Stephanie.

So, they did. This led to a wacky tag team match. (5:08)

Coming up, Test vs Spike. Next, who got cut on Tough Enough. 

TE2 (2:48)

this is a Test (Smackdown) vs Spike (Dudley, RAW) - Easy joke potential: "Coach talks about needing personality to make in the WWF; Test walks to the ring." Leary makes fun of Danny's crying. Spike can't be happy that Brock is on the same show he is, apparently. Smackdown list of competitors. Lockup, no, Spike ducks under and punches. Again. test is annoyed. Spike backs off. Oh, here's the chase. Back in and Spike dropkicks Test as he comes in and it's like I've seen this match million of times over. Rights by Spike. Turnbuckle smash. Off the apron, cross body is caught and Test runs him in to the post hard. Spike thrown back in. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop but no one's home. Spike with rights, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, crucifix isn't gonna work out well at all - smush. One two somehow no. Corner whip, Spike comes out with the charging headbutt to the stomach. Again. Right, right, whip, reversed, jumping forearm. Kick, yelling to the ref to get out of the way, 3/4 lock, running up the corner and Test throws him off just like he dos every time. Setting up for the Boot, but Spike ducks it. Test is unflustered and turns and kicks Spike in the stomach - pulling over, powerbomb no Spike with a sunset flip one two NO. Spike off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and right into the boot. One two three. (2:47) Took you long enough. 

Still to come, the Big Valbowski, but next, Kane and the nWo.

Kane hijinks. (3:51)

Coming up, Raven is in the house. But next, Lance Storm and Big Valbowski settle outstanding issues. 

Lugz Dudleyz Non-Win of Last Thursday

The Big Valbowski (Smackdown) vs Lance Storm (Smackdown) in a "We'll Keep Doing This Till Lance Wins One" Match - VAL TAKES OFF HIS OWN TOWEL! Thank the lord. Hey, Coach actually remembers what happened last week - not on Heat, though. Val is inviting Storm into the ring, but I Storm is having second thoughts about this. Oh, I see, Val is so focused he doesn't have time for ladies to pull his towel. The ref pulls Val back, and they argue - that's the time for Lance to sneak in and forearm Val in the back. Rubbing his face in the mat! Coach shares my hypothesis. Knee. Stomp. Stomp. Boot to the back of the neck. Whip, clothesline. Coach mentions tag teams that are breaking up but fails to talk about Crash and Funaki. Whip, clothesline. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Turnbuckle smash. This is all Lance. Right. Suplex, cover one two no. Does Lance have his right elbow taped? Push in the corner, chop. Corner whip, charge into the boot. Val with punches. Holding whip into the kneelift. Repeat. Russian Legsweep. Punches to the head, no cover. Off the ropes, big splash - catches knees! Lance a little slow up - and gets punches. Lance gets knocked down, but uses Val's tights to sling him into the middle turnbuckle. Corner whip, knocks Val down. Cover one two Val kicks out. Back suplex. One two no. Elbow to the back. Elbow to the back. Elbow to the back. Think Lance has picked his body part? Back breaker. One two no. Knee to the back. Knee to the back. Chinlock while a knee is pressed to the back. Val battles up and out with elbows.  Rights, whip, reversed, head down so Val kicks it, then clotheslines Lance down. Val's back is hurting too much to roll over and cover. Both men up slow - Lance's punch misses, Val hits his. Whip, back elbow, elbow drop, knee drop combo. Off the ropes, clothesline. Whip, reversed, no reversed into a knee, fisherman's suplex one two NO. One of Lance's elbow pads, which he'd been messing with during the match, has fallen off and is right near their feet work here - the ref finnaly catches it and ditches it. Corner whip, reversed, Lance charges in and is backdropped to the apron, right for Val, springboard dropkick! One two NO! Lance argues the count, he was sure that was th-inside cradle one two NO! SUPER-no that's caught, Val tries a clothesline but that's ducked, waistlock by Lance, Val with a go behind, Storm to the ropes, bounce back into a reverse cradle but Storm rolls his way through and pulls the tights one two three! (4:54) Val isn't pleased and I'm surprised we never saw the Half Boston.

GTX Maven Draft of Monday. 

WWF Hardcore Champion Raven (RAW, Let's Go Back to Last Thursday) vs Tommy Dreamer (RAW) in a non-title match - Oh man, I've missed Raven matches. Raven's not wearing a shirt and he really kinda should. Dreamer with a headlock, off the ropes, over, under, Dreamer with rights. Catapult into the corner. Another catapult, but up into a turnbuckle - Raven really had to position himself for that spot. Clothesline out. I haven't missed Tommy Dreamer matches. Right. Right. Right. Coach mentions that these two have a long history - someone must've told him. Raven hits own punch and beals Dreamer off the apron and into the barricade. Raven breaks the count, then throws Dreamer in. Punches to the head. Corner push, right, right, right, right, right, corner whip, rebound clothesline! Mr. Wrestling #2 High Knee! One two no! Snap mare, there's the sitting hangman's neckbreaker hold - it's all the classics tonight. Dreamer breaks this streak with a back suplex. Corner charge by Dreamer, but Raven moves out of the way and Dreamer hits the post shoulder first. Dreamer fights back with punches when Raven gets to him, though, kick to the stomach, swinging neckbreaker. Russian legsweep. Whip, powerslam. One two no. Whip, reversed, reversed, DDT! One two NO! Whip, head down too soon, kick to the shoulder, Raven rollup one two no. Bronco Billie Special! but Dreamer pushes him off before the bulldog - short powerbomb by Dreamer one two three! (4:09) Coach just says it's a non-title match now, but I figured that one out already. I guess that means rematch, though.

On Heat, it's Edge (RAW) vs Goldust (Smackdown) and Regal (RAW) vs Tajiri (Smackdown) for the European Title. Later.

The Cubs Fan
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