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/4 September 1999

WWF Jakked


Guest columnist: Marc Taylor


The Micheals, Cole and Hayes are the announcers.

Meat vs. Kane
If anyone actually cares what happened in this particular match, then you my friend are a lost soul. A big boot, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and tombstone piledriver finish Meat off in 5:37.

In case you were wondering, yes, there will be some actual calling of moves and such a bit later on.

All I'm gonna say about the recap of the Bossman/Al Snow thing from Smackdown is that it sucked on Smackdown, and it still sucks now.

Val Venis vs. Mideon
Val's superquick job to Shamrock on Raw made me wonder if he wasn't being buried for some unknown reason, and also made me wonder if he might lose here as part of that burial. We shall see..... Mideon in control to start. He knocks Venis to the outside, but gets pulled out himself. Venis knocks Mideon into various stairs, barricades, and ring aprons before tossing him back in. Micheal Hayes actually recalls that Venis is a former Intercontinental champ, and Mideon is a former European champ.. They go back outside again, and this time its Venis who collides with the steel stairs. Back in, and Mideon gets a 2 count, and we go to commercial in mid-match? On Jakked? What the hell? Anyway, we come back from the break and both guys look to be in the same positions they were in before the break, but Micheal Cole says something about "what action during the break" because he sucks. Mideon yells "Undertaker!" to the crowd because he's just so damn loyal or something. Mideon's getting in way too much offense here. Ah, good, here's the Venis comeback. Spinebuster and Moneyshot for the pin. 7:03, which is pretty long for Jakked, and that's without the break factored in. If you count the break it probably hits about 10 minutes.

Rescue Of The Week is Chris Jericho using Finkel as bait to ambush Ken Shamrock from Smackdown.

Recap of Paul Bearer showing the Undertaker something which causes him to leave the Big Slow to lose the tag titles to Rock and Mankind on Raw, Big Slow calling out UT on Smackdown, Undertaker whispering something to him, Big Slow ruining the Xpac/Jericho match, Kane saving Xpac, and UT telling Kane how weak Xpac is making him.

Slam Of The Week- highlights of Smackdown's tag team turmoil match, and the Dudley Boys running in.

Papi Chulo w/Funaki vs. Stevie Richards w/Blue Meanie
Stevie whips Chulo to the ropes, but he flips and bounces off the ropes, grabs Stevie's arm, and does a luchalibre flippy floppy armdrag thing off the top rope that I can't adequately describe. Stevie heads out to be consoled by Meanie, so Chulo taks them both out with a tope con hilo over the turnbuckle. Steviw crotches Chulo up top, then lands a superplex for 2. Funaki pulls Stevie down, so Meanie chases Funaki into the ring. Earl Hebner's busy getting Meanie to leave when Funaki ddt's Stevie. Papi Chulo covers, but only gets 2. Hebner gets distracted again, so that Meanie can ddt Chulo, but Chulo also kicks out at 2. Into the corner and Stevie does the 10 punch countalong, including some hip wiggling just because. Into the opposite corner, Chulo flips out, but eats a StevieKick, 1, 2, 3. 4:06

Steve Blackman vs. Mike Hollow
Blackman squash, which features Hollow choosing flopping around as his main method of selling. Blackman actually played to the crowd too, climbing the buckles and saying something that didn't pick up. Head and arm leg scissors gets the submission. 4:10

WHAT did he say?!? WHAT?!?!? I MUST KNOW WHAT STEVE BLACKMAN SAID--err, oh, sorry - CRZ

And that's it for this week.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission