WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor
I'd say its a safe bet that The Michaels: Cole and Hayes, are the
permanent announce duo for Jakked.
Mideon vs. Edge
Mideon kicks out at 2 following a cross body block, but not after Edge's spear. 1:52 The amount I wrote about this match is directly proportional to the amount of the match worth writing about.
Recap of Vince McMahon's return on Raw and the subsequent HHH/Austin match in which Austin was disqualified, and then from Smackdown we have the HHH/Vince match, including Vinnie's primo blade job, and Austin's interference at the end, which allowed Vince McMahon to pin Helmsley, becoming the new WWF Champion.
Special 8man tag team match "courtesy of Smackdown": Edge/Christian and The Acolytes vs. The New Brood Matt and Jeff Hardy and The Dudley Boys
"Courtesy of Smackdown" just means that it was taped at Smackdown. Decent stuff here, but it could've been oodles and oodles better. Jeff Hardy's top rope whatever is completely and totally missed by the camera, which was focusing on BuhBuh Ray Dudley distracting the ref and the other team in the corner. Nice powerbomb by BuhBuh Ray followed by a Dvon Dudley flying headbutt. The Hardys do the "Hey Jeff, springboard off my back" spot, then Bradshaw hits a lariat on Matt Hardy for the pin. 3:47 No 8 man match should ever be this short, especially when 2 of the 8 are the mofo Hardy Boys. The Dudleys, upset that the Hardy's lost the match for their side, give Jeff the Dudley Death Drop.
Some Shit From The MTV Video Music Awards
Steve Austin, Debra, Xpac, and Road Dogg talk to and about various celebrities, and various celebrities talk about them. THIS WASN'T WRESTLING AND DIDN'T ADVANCE ANY ANGLES! BAH! This took up 5 minutes, which could've housed the previous Mideon vs. Edge match twice! That right there should tell you that this week's Jakked isn't that great.
Kaboom of The Week: Shane McMahon's impressive tope suicida onto the Mean Street Posse from Smackdown. Shane already got one of these Kabooms or Slams for his top rope elbow through Test and the table at Summerslam.
Prince Albert w/Droz vs. Shawn Stasiak
Stasiak's new theme music sucks. Oh, and so does Shawn Stasiak himself. Cole dutifully informs us that tomorrow on Heat the DejaVideo segment will be a look back at the Last Man Standing Match between The Rock and Mankind from St Valentine's Day Massacre. email@example.com Prince Albert is a "350 pound moose" according to Micheal Cole. Droz up on the apron, but Albert gets shoved into him, and Stasiak hits the Meat Grinder for the pin. 4:10 Why yes, I did purposely avoid doing play by play for that match.
Recap of the "5 Man Free For All" clusterfuck from Raw, which saw just about the whole locker room run in, making it one of the bigger clusterfucks in the history of clusterfucks. And I'm slightly happy that I got to use "clusterfuck" three times in one sentence. Next we go to the "Royal Rumble Rules" match from Smackdown, where The Undertaker simultaneously eliminated Big Slow and The Rock for the win.
Well hey, they replaced Helmsley with Vince in the graphic for the 6 Pack Challenge match at Unforgiven.
WWF Rewind: Jeff Jarret putting the figure four leglock on Lilian Garcia on Raw.
This week we close with Unforgiven hype in place of the standard Heat hype, even though there's still a week until the ppv.
Marc "The Mark" Taylor
Send steaming piles of hatred to firstname.lastname@example.org