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/18 December 1999
WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor




Gangrel w/Luna vs. Val Venis
Val tells a dick joke, and then we're off. Gangrel dives at Val, but Val ducks so Gangrel tumbles outside. Val follows but Luna does the 'I'm gonna jump on your back and choke you' thing. Val dumps her off, which gives Gangrel the opening to ram him into the barricade. He slams Val into the ringpost, and then back in the ring he works over the back some more until Val rallies and hits a second rope elbow. He goes for the pin, but Luna runs in to break it up. DQ 3:48 Gangrel and Luna attempt a post match beatdown on Val, but he's able to fend the two off.

Stephanie McMahon Helmsley turned on Vince at Armageddon, and then told him off on Raw, which pissed him off enough that he left the building with Shane. This left HHH and Stephanie to take over and book some matches, including the main event suckering in of Test to a DX ass whuppin. DX beat up Test again on Smackdown, and Steph/HHH booked some more stuff, including the Rock vs. Big Slow lumberjack match main, in which the all-heel lumberjacks ganged up on Rock and Slow, until Mankind came out with his weapons to even the odds, upsetting the plans of the Helmsley duo.

Kurt Angle vs. Mideon
Mideon's entrance gets Tazzified, which perplexes the Announcing Michaels. Mideon grabs a waistlock on Angle, and Kurt gives a look like "Is he serious?", then spins around into a waistlock of his own, and takes down Mideon with no problem. Kurt ends it with his inverted samoan drop thing(somebody give that move a name already) at 2:07.

Terri Runnels wishes us a very Terri Christmas and a Hardy new year.

Rakishi Phatu w/Too Cool vs. Bulldog w/Posse
Rakishi seems to have it all under control, and goes for the banzai drop in the corner, but the Posse prevent that from happening. The Posse tries to take out Rakishi, but fat beats numbers any day in the WWF. Bulldog just sort of left I guess. Rodney eats a sitout piledriver, and then during the requisite post match dance-a-thon, Michael Hayes says that Rakishi is "like an island Barry White". I dunno, let's say No Contest, 2:31.

D'lo Brown vs. Steve Blackman
Mostly D'lo here, including a nice tope, and the ever popular snap legdrop. Kurt Angle makes his way to ringside for sports entertainment's sake. Angle reaches under the apron and finds a pair of nunchucks, and when Blackman comes over to yell at him, he of course hits Blackman with the nunchucks. SkyHi by D'lo, and 3 counts later its all over. 2:39

Hardcore and Crash Holly vs. The Headbangers
The 'Bangers start off in control and hit the double team flapjack on a Holly, and then the Hollys get the momentum in their favor, and Harcore hits a a nice dropkick and gloats accordingly. The Headbanger's make a comeback and set up for the stagedive on Hardcore, but Crash crotches Thrasher on the buckle, allowing Hardcore to nail Mosh with the Hollycaust for the win at 4:32.

FIVE matches? And none of them with actual jobbers? Wow, if this keeps up I might start to think I'm recapping an actual worthwhile show here.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

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