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/29 January 2000

WWF Metal


Guest columnist: Kirk Wagstaff


Welcome to my third WWF Metal report. You hosts are Kevin Kelly and Tom Prichard.

GANGREL (w/Luna) VS PRINCE ALBERT. This starts off with lots of reversals to make the match interesting. Albert with a clothesline. Bodyslam. Misses an elbowdrop. Gangrel stomping away now. Irish whip, reversed, Albert with a back body drop! There's another whip, but Gangrel decided it's now time for the sports entertainment side of the match, slipping outside. And you betcha, Luna is doing her own little bit. Back in the ring, Gangrel is in control with rights. He soon gets whipped into the turnbuckle. There's the rebound, and there's a bicycle kick to the face. OOH! 1, 2, 3 (1:35). Albert wins that one, but was there any doubt? Oh yeah, you want the highlights from last week. Let's try Kane and X-Pac. X-Pac gets thrown out of the ring, taking out the cameraman. Later, X-Pac insinuates something to Tori. I'll give you a hint, it has something to do with "big", "red", and "machine". Oh, and "suck" too.

BRITISH BULLDOG VS JULIO "JOBBER" FANTASTICO. Bulldog pushes Julio away. Whip, Julio hits a shoulder block, but he goes down himself. Bulldog with a vertical suplex. Later, Julio applies a sleeperhold, but Bulldog comes back, throwing him outside. Back in the ring, Bulldog with a clothesline. Snapmere. Hey, that's Jacqueline's move! Rear chinlock, Bulldog counters with a knee to the midsection. Bulldog whipped into the turnbuckle. Julio attempting a splash, but he eats boot. RUNNING POWERSLAM! 1, 2, 3! (2:22)

JOEY ABS (w/Rodney & Pete Gas) VS FUNAKI (w/Injured Taka). Funaki straight off with chops. Whip reversed, clothesline misses, dropkick from Funaki sends Abs outside. The Mean Street Posse gather on the outside to discuss who spiked who's drink last night, whilst Funaki ventures to the to rope and delivers a cross body block, taking out all three. Back in the ring, Abs gets in a surprise clothesline. Suplex for a 2 count. Throws Funaki to the outside, enabling the rest of the posse to do as they please. Funaki thrown back in the ring, Abs with a flip suplex. 2 count. Stomping away. Hey, those guys are talented! Rope choke distracts the referee allowing the posse to cheap shot once more! Head between the legs, sit down powerbomb... Huracanrana into a roll up! 1, 2... Nope. Stomps by Abs. Fall forward powerslam. Top rope. Moonsault... but no one in the pool. Irish whip by Funaki. Knee to the midsection. Bulldog. Funaki to top rope, cross body! 1, 2... The rest of the posse stand on the apron. Funaki dropkicks both of them. When he turns round, he gets a kick himself. Crucifix powerbomb coming up... WHAM! That COULD be their first victory. Do they get the three count? Nope, Rodney and Pete Gas stomp away for the sake of it. DQ. (4:31).

Results from Smackdown. Read some of CRZ's other fine reports on those shows. Here we see Big Show interfering in the match between Rock and Headshrinker... I mean Rakishi Phatu.

DUDLEY BOYZ VS CHESTBANGERS. The Dudley Boyz are one hell of an entertaining team... when they're not being edited. Thrasher cusses Bubba for his stutter, but he fires back with "You have a bit of a stuttering problem Thrasher. I see you two got in touch with your feminine side". Whatever the punchline was of the next line, it was edited out. All hell breaks loose, Headbangers firmly in control. Bodyslam sets DVon for a huracanrana into a senton bomb. Double team stomps. DVon in the corner, whip to the opposite corner. Backsplash. Clothesline. Tag to Thrasher, who walks straight into a drop toe hold. Tags in Bubba. Rights like mad in the corner. Knee to the chest. Irish whip. Downward spiral! 1, 2... Irish whip, reversed. Back body drop! Clothesline! Tag to Mosh. Double flapjack. Mosh stomps away. DVon cheap shots whilst the ref has his back turned. Bubba gets the upper hand, clocking Mosh, and Thrasher. Thrasher distracts the referee, enabling Dvon to venture to top rope and deliver a head butt to the groin! Heh heh - I love that move. Does Val Venis do that in his hotel room? Never mind, Dvon is apparently the legal man, but I didn't see the tag. Bodyslam. Headbutt from the top misses. Yep, HOT TAG to Thrasher. We needn't go through all this. Roll up for 2 by Thrasher. Mosh hits a clothesline from top rope. 1, 2... Bubba interrupts the count from the outside, whipping Mosh into the steel steps. Bubba back in the ring, DUDLEY DEATH DROP! 1, 2, 3! I'm so glad that the WWF gave this team a win for once. (4:30)

We're out! See you next week!

Kirk Wagstaff

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