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/29 April 2000

WWF Metal UK by Kirk Wagstaff




Welcome to WWF Metal! Your hosts are Kevin Kelly and Tom Prichard.

TAZZ VS TRACY SMOTHERS. Grapple starts it off. Smothers with rights in corner. Tazz back in. Whip, clothesline. Throw to the outside. Rights. Whip into the steps. He throws Smothers back in the ring, but Tracy now comes back with axe handles. Knees to the throat. DDT by Smothers, what's this? Tazz counters by turning it into a northern lights suplex, for 2. Crossface forearms. Smothers with rights. Irish whip by Smothers, he completely misses a sidekick. Tazz goes behind - Taz(z)mission! There's the tap out (2:49).

Insurrextion hype. If you're a digital customer, go to channel 770 now. Except it doesn't work! Now what? Anyway, Channel 4 are gonna get bombarded with "Channel 4 sucks" signs from one of my fellow reporters at the show. Also, Heat will be shown before the 50-minute delayed Backlash tonight. Would you stay up until 2am to watch a 50-minute delayed PPV? Well good luck to ya - I've already got two people to tape it for me just in case it screws up (and it usually does!).

MEAN STREET POSSE VS CHESTBANGERS. This won't be easy. Okay, lets's start this off. Shoulder block by Abs. Two hiptosses blocked. Mosh with kicks. Whip, powerslam! Referee is distracted, so there's a double team suplex by the Headbangers. Tag to Thrasher. Double team kicks in corner. Rights. Whip to the opposite turnbuckle. Now it's breaking down - I can't keep up with this - it's not easy when you forget all the names of the posse. Abs gets a bodyslam and a legdrop for 2. Moonsault - no one in the pool! Tag to Rodney. HOT TAG to Thrasher, who destroys just about everyone. TKO for Gas. Stage dive on Rodney! 1, 2, 3 (4:53).

PERRY SATURN VS THE MOST EXPENSIVE JOBBER IN THE WORLD STEVIE RICHARDS. Hiptoss by Stevie, there's another. Saturn is back up and destroys him with two clotheslines. Right. Powerslam into the buckle? That wasn't so good. Three chops in the corner. Throws Stevie out on his ass. Drop onto the apron. Whip into the steps by Saturn, it's reversed - wham! Back in the ring now. Stevie misses a clothesline - Samoan drop by Saturn! Clothesline. There's erm, a tiger suplex with a bridge. That ended Stevie (2:14).

Stone Cold is back. And lots of over-the-top special effects too!

ESSA RIOS (w/ The Lovely Lita) VS TAKA MICHINOKU (w/ Funaki). Shoulder block by Rios. Chop. Rios off the ropes - back body drop to the outside! Taka - springboard plancha! Funaki gets involved - and he throws Rios back in the ring. Head to the buckle. Whip to the opposite one... Rios - incredible head-scissors! Irish whip - Taka with a sunset flip. Rios jumps out. Boot to the back of the head by Taka. Dropkick. 1, 2... Whip, reversed - Taka jumps to the second turnbuckle - roll-up - reversed... 1, 2... Dropkick by Taka. Spin kick! Two chops. Tree of woe. Eh? - Rios falls out of it - guess that wasn't supposed to happen! Kick to the chest anyway. Whips to the buckle. Dropkick in the corner. Missile dropkick from the top! Lita distracts the ref, enabling Rios to execute a hurracanrana dropping Taka right on his head! Roll up - but the ref has his back turned. Funaki causes more confusion by double teaming. Rios clocks Funaki - moonsault! WHAT is Lita doing in there? DOUBLE Moonsault! Double pin? 1, 2, 3 (5:35). Okay, well the ref was a little generous there.

Backlash is tonight. Remember to look out for my report! I make my PPV report debut!

See you then!

Kirk Wagstaff
[slash] wrestling

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission