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/13 May 2000

WWF Metal UK by Kirk Wagstaff




Am I the only guy that actually liked CRZ's purple look? Bring it back man!

There was an absolutely hilarious comedy show on Friday, two weeks ago. It featured two men trying to convince the world that a complete utter moron in control of an increasingly declining company was in fact, a genius.

The show was called WCW Worldwide.

The following week, I could hardly believe it. The "new and improved" WCW, in fact, convinced me. The show was the first Worldwide broadcast I've actually watched more than once, for over 9 months. There were some superb high-flying matches including the Jung Dragons and Chavo. I even like the new set on Nitro. So sue me.

This is (believe it or not) WWF Metal! Kevin Kelly and Tom Prichard are your hosts.

"WASTED TALENT" D'LO BROWN -vs- THE MOST EXPENSIVE JOBBER IN THE WORLD STEVIE RICHARDS. D;Lo first off with kicks. Rights in corner. Irish whip, back body drop got screwed up, Stevie with elbows. Chop by Stevie. Irish whip, D'Lo slips to the outside. Stevie is dropped into the steps. Youch! Rights. Kick. Throws Stevie back into the ring. Right. Bodyslam. To the middle rope - MOONSAULT! 1, 2... Bah. Irish whip - Sky High! Hehe, he just said "You suck". To the top - LO DOWN! 1, 2, 3 (2:11). However D'Lo missed the train to super-stardom is one of wrestling's greatest mysteries.

Godfather faced Eddie Guerrero on Raw. Hey, D'Lo got on Raw! There's the Sky High on Godfather, that helped Eddie get the win.

JOEY ABS -vs- VAL VENIS. The rest of the posse go back to the locker room for some reason. Oh well. Exchanging rights. Bah. Irish whip to the buckle by Val. Clothesline! Neckbreaker. Rights. Ducks a clothesline and Abs with a clothesline to the outside. Axe handle off the apron misses, and he gets clocked. Abs into the barricade. Abs back in the ring. Abs runs into a drop toe hold. Roll up - 1, 2... Abs runs into a Hulk Hogan stylee big boot. And an elbow. To the middle rope - misses an elbow drop. DDT by Abs! Stomps. Whip to the buckle. Bodyslam. Moonsault, but he hits Val's knees. Whip, big boot is blocked. Whip, into the knee. Side russian leg sweep by Val. Pummeling rights. Powerbomb attempt by Abs - Val slips out. Rights. Spinebuster. Money Shot! 1, 2, 3 (3:48).

Jericho nonsense. All the marks are complaining about how Jericho is such a fair player. Didn't Jericho win the belt a few weeks back with a cheap belt shot? That guy always plays fair!

AL SNOW & STEVE BLACKMAN -vs- CHESTBANGERS. Brawling. Al in control. Kicks. Headlock. Off the ropes, hiptoss by Mosh. Arm drag. To the corner. Whip to the buckle. Back body drop! Rope choke. Mosh is on fire! Al counters with a kick. Tag to Blackman. Kick. Whip. Thrasher comes in with a clothesline from the top on Blackman. Rights. Dropkick. Steve off the ropes, runs into a two hiptosses. Arm bar. Stevie with rights in the corner. Irish whip - back suplex! Tag to Al. Springboard legdrop! Double whip. Thrasher kicks both of 'em. Tag to Mosh. Loadsa dropkicks. Back splash in corner to Blackman! Springboard pascato to the outside on Snow! Mosh is looking in top condition. Al with a face first powerbomb on the ramp for Mosh. Things are breaking down now. Blackman with kicks on Thrasher. In the ring - 1, 2... Bodyslam! Modified surfboard?! Chops and stomps. Tag to Snow. Kick to Mosh. Whip, kick to Al - DDT! I guess this is where they exchange tags, right? Right! HOT TAG to Thrasher, who eliminates everybody. Double team kick. Al throws Thrasher right into the ringside table! That's the FIRST TIME I've seen Kelly actually APPEAR at ringside on metal! Thrashers boot hit him RIGHT in the FACE! Bwahahahaha! Eh - Stage dive on Thrasher by Al and Blackman! 1, 2, 3 (6:31)! That was a top match for such a show!

ESSA RIOS (w/ The Lovely Lita) -vs- HARDCORE HOLLY. It's the hardcore wiggler! Holly with kicks. Spinning heel kick by Rios. Powerslam for 2!. Holly to the outside. Springboard hurracanrana to the outside!?!?! You fucked up! You fucked up etc etc... Bwahahaha. Lita with a hurracanrana - I bet he enjoyed that! Kicks. Chops. Whip reversed, Moonsault off the middle rope for 2! Whip reversed... I lost this one ages ago. Top rope hurracanrana attempt - countered with a powerbomb! Arm drag from the top for Holly by Rios! Cross body from the top for 2. Ocean wave powerbomb! Suplex attempt - Rios turns it into a roll up for 2. Whip... dropkick by Holly! There's the suplex/powerbob combination for the 3 (2:54).

That was one of the best Metal's I've ever seen! Believe it or not.

Insurrextion was this week. If you missed it - here's the results:

  • Too Cool defeated Perry Saturn & Dean Malenko after Grandmaster Sexay finished Dean Malenko after a hip hop drop
  • Kane downed Bull Buchanan after a chokeslam for the three count
  • Road Dogg rolled up Bradshaw for the pin
  • The Kat defeated Terri in a pathetic Arm Wrestling Contest after Moolah threw water over Terri
  • The Dudleys lost to Rikishi Phatu & Showkishi (The Big Show)
  • Chris Benoit lost to Kurt Angle
  • Crash Holly lost his Hardcore Title to... The British Bulldog after a running powerslam
  • Edge & Christian retained their tag team belts via The Hardys after Edge got disqualified for using the ring bell.
  • Eddie Guerrero retained his European title after defeating Chris Jericho with a belt shot
  • The Rock defeated Shane McMahon and Triple H after pinning Shane with The Peoples Elbow

    Well, come back next week!

    Kirk Wagstaff
    [slash] wrestling

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    Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
    Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission