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WWF in Detroit


Guest columnist: Britain W.


Joe Louis Arena
Detroit, MI

Hey! I was there.

Dark Matches:
Steve (Daggett?) and (Scott Fitch?) d. (Mark Badalucci?) and (Louie ?)

Nova d. Swinger with what looked to me like a flying double axehandle after a "boring" chant started up. ECW only made it to Detroit once that I know of, in a much smaller portion of a much smaller venue than this one, so I'm not hugely surprised. Swinger has ditched the "Johnny" WCW attached to his name for his brief time there.

During these dark matches, the generic WWF Attitude logo appeared on the little screen inside the Time Tunnel, as well as various video troubleshooting screens. I'd have thought they'd have the bugs worked out by now, much less a set of parameters that works every time.

WWF Sunday Night Heat tapings: Small pops for Kevin Kelly and Michael Hayes, who entered to a Kid Rock song (not American Bad Ass).

CRASH (w. Molly) d. FUNAKI (with TAKA)
TAKA's promo, edited highlights: "Funaki will take the Light Heavyweight title, and Molly Holly will come with us, for we are Kaientai, and we are EEEVIL!" Brief "USA" chant to start the match, briefer but louder "MOLLY" chant later on, when Molly tries to stop TAKA from interfering. After the match, Finkel (or was it a WWF tech?) tried to throw Crash's WWF cap onto his head horseshoe-style... he failed

Raven d. Essa Rios when Raven reversed an Essa rana to a powerbomb, then pinned him after a DDT, in a non-hardcore bout. Essa's entrance included a humorous tearaway-pants dance on the stage. Maybe it always has, Jakked and Metal are on at bad times around here so I don't see him much.

Break: Fink hawked the "WWF Divas" magazine, WMX7 souvenir programs, and "Finally, The Rock Has Come Back To... Detroit" shirts.

Too Black (Grand Masta Sexay and Steve Blackman -- no, that's not what they're called, I just thought of it) d. Saturn (w/Terri) & Dean. Perry's rockin' a Lugz t-shirt, a bucket hat that looks like it was made out of my grandmother's bathmat, and an orange leather suit under his tights from the Lex Luger collection. A late rally by Blackman gets Dean into the corner, tag, hip-hop drop gets the pin (GMS pinned Dean). Blackman almost leaves the ring twice, eliciting huge boos, but when Run says dance, you dance or die. Blackman's dance solo is a moonwalk, splits, and punches, but SEMI-RHYTHMIC punches.

Tha 1 Billy Gunn d. Haku. This was a bathroom and concession break for us. Billy Gunn won.

Lillian Garcia performed the Star Spangled Banner. She's a knockout in person (actually, I didn't see her, but everyone else always says that).

Michael King Cole (with "My Way" by Limp Bizkit) & Tazz (with his own "13" entrance) entered the ring area and took their seats.

A few more minutes went by, with a "Gold-berg" chant and a "rock-e" chant

Tazz cut a promo promising to engage the RTC in battle if they got belligerent tonight, especially "THAT SLUT IVORY."

The opening montage began at 8:45p EST.

"LAST MONDAY NIGHT:" Vince announced that the fate of WCW was in his hands and that Jarrett could spell himself "G-DOUBLE O-DOUBLE N-E." Then Shane revealed that *he* owned WCW...

After the themesong and fireworks, TRIPLE H (with Steph and Keystone Kops) came out and cut a promo about how awful it was that he wasn't getting a title match at Wrestlemania, and then ran down Undertaker.

Undertaker (with new "TRY ME... I'LL MAKE YOU FAMOUS" shirt) came out and told HHH about how when he was a little dead man, they sent him home for recess because he DON'T PLAY GAMES. If he's arrested, he's got a bail bondsman ready to spring him in 12 hours. Steph shouted at him in a pitch high enough to drive vermin from the Joe Louis Arena, but he advanced on the ring and the Keystone Kops anyway. They wound up fighting in the ring -- Taker threw HHH into the cops, who fell like bowling pins, then threw HHH out of the ring. When the cops finally got up, they hauled him off to jail. Yeah, again.

Break: Fink shills t-shirts. "Rock-e" chant, "don't try this at home" psa

Moments Ago: Taker cleaned house & got hauled off

Backstage, Regal told Rock that Mr. McMahon wanted him to "stay out of trouble," so as not to compromise the Main Event of WMX7 -- Rock teased him about "drinking pee" last week and WALKED off.

APA v. X-Flock (X-Pac and Just X-Credible, with X-Bert)
Quick "x-pac sux" chant at the beginning, curiously it died down before he entered the ring. The RTC run in and interfere, x-pac gets the pin (of course). After the match, RTC beatdown Tazz & APA. Hmm, no color commentator? (We can't hear them anyway.)

Backstage: Shane arrives in a limo with front license plate "WCW1". Kurt and Eddie watch Shane exit the limo - Kurt assures Eddie he didn't tap out on Monday night.

Paul Heyman (in black trenchcoat) arrives to join Michael Cole.

Backstage, Shane talks to the Hardy Boys.

Benoit got Eddie to tap out to the Crossface, but then tapped out himself when Kurt got hold of his ankle. Play Kurt's music! As Kurt left the ring area, the crowd chanted "you suck" to Kurt's theme.

9:30p EST.

Backstage, Regal asked Debra to keep Rock out of trouble. She said... I couldn't make it out. I get the impression it was negative though.

LUGZ BOOT OF THE WEEK: Shane reveals to Vince that he owns WCW now.

Backstage: Shane talks to Billy Gunn, Steph interrupts and confronts him. I couldn't make it out very well.

Here's a spot advertising the Shane/Vince match at WMX7, followed by a flashback to Mick Foley on Monday night, revealing that he's going to be refereeing Vince's match at WMX7.

Backstage: Regal starts to ask Stone Cold to stay out of trouble, but Stone Cold walks off before he can get the whole sentence out.

Backstage: Vince confronts the new limo driver and discovers that he drove Shane into town. Vince walks away, then spies the WCW1 license plate and flips.

Here's an ad for Rock/austin wmx7

Exterior shot of Joe Louis Arena, home of the Detroit Red Things. Tommy "Hitman" Hearns is in the house tonight with kids.

Monday Night flashback: TRIPPA LAITCH hit 'Taker with a chair, costing him the match... Rock stunnned stone cold and held a non-alcoholic beer up in tribute.

Stone Cold comes out to the ring and calls Rock out... Rock-e chant from the crowd. Billionaire Vince comes out instead. They argue, and Stone Cold knocks him out of the ring. THAT gets the Rock out- they drink a very tense toast, each calling a toast to kicking the other's ass at WMX7. Finally, they come to blows. It takes 5 referees, 5 Keystone PD, Billy Gunn, Blackman, Test, and the APA to pull 'em apart -- under the direction of Vince, they're thrown out of the building.

Bathroom break. Fink shilled more merchandise, and a fight broke out in the 204 block of the upper bowl.

TV ad for Wrestlemania coffee-table book

Moments Ago, we witness the Rock-Austin toast-fight again. "Rock-e sux" chant from crowd, go figure.

Backstage: Vince tries to relax with Trish, but sees Shane talking to Y2J (on a conveniently-placed monitor). He's out tha doo'.

RHYNO (with Edge & Christian) d. MATT HARDY (with Jeff Hardy).
During mass interference, Christian manages to hit the Unprettier on Matt, and rolls Rhyno onto him for the pin. After the match, Edge and Christian get a ladder from below the ring, but Jeff gets 'em with two chairs. Jeff and Matt seize the ladder and knock E&C out of the ring. Brief celebration, then Matt punches Jeff in the chest -- "JEFF!" "WHAT?!" "GET THE TABLE!" Just as the table is set up, the fireworks bombs hit the stage and out come D-VON and BUH BUH RAY (without Spike, new music that sounds like a sped-up "Foxy Lady")... Dudleys throw the Hardys out and put Rhyno through the table, 3D style. Play their music!

Vince confronts Y2J -- he's under WWF contract!!! "Chill out, junior, we were just shooting the breeze." "I'm... not... junior."

This Week in WWF Football: Tragedy struck, but Blaine Alexander and the #51 Chicago team gained Valuable Experience and a Top 34 Finish

HHH rides onto the stage on 'Taker's Beautiful Titan Bike! Steph hands him his sledgehammer, and he pounds on the seat, the lights, and the mirrors to a chorus of "Asshole" and "You Suck" chants. Then he pushes it off the stage! Let's see that push again -- from the arena floor this time.

Moments Ago: Jeff Hardy chairs E&C, Dudleys 3d Rhyno.

Backstage: "Now that Shane has left the building," Vince needs to relax, so he asks Trish to fight Ivory in a bra & panties match. Sure!

Stacker II's Burn of the Week: Rock stuns Stone Cold!

Backstage, Vince relieves Debra of managerial duties for The Rock.

TRISH d. IVORY in a bra and panties match. Ivory walks to the ring declaring the whole thing a disgrace, but Trish grabs her. Trish loses her blouse, but Chyna (with doo-rag) runs in and strips Ivory, who covers up with her hands, and runs off, leaving her blouse and skirt in the ring.

Backstage: Y2J IS WALKING! So is Kane!

Decent pop for Hebner as he enters the ring area.

Ad for UPN's Special Unit 2: uh, okay.


Regal enters first and talks a bit, but is joined shortly by Show, whose music is interrupted by KANE'S pyro. Jericho is the last to join us. That pyro is huge! Crowd chants "Y2J" and "Regal sux." After much shambling about, Raven runs in, but Big Show shuts him down. He falls off the apron and drops the fire extinguisher he was carrying. Regal clocks Jericho with it & applies that stretch submission move he does sometimes. Y2J taps!

After the match, Jericho's out of action more or less. Regal and Big Show pound on Kane, until TAKER makes the save. Triple H came in at some point, too. Somehow it all ended with the Fun Brothers hitting double chokeslams on both Big Show and HHH, and Taker getting HHH with a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! It was around 11 when Kane and the Taker walked up the ramp and gave us the fist-in-the-air salute, and around midnight when we finally got to the car (we took a detour to snap some photos with the WWF tractor-trailers in the lot outside the Joe).

My girlfriend took my palm off me at one point and recorded the note "britain tplayed on palm all night", so I hope you post this and I have something to show for it. :) If I can answer any more questions, feel free to ask...


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