|WWF in Winnipeg
|Guest columnist: James Kalyn
One of the many problems associated with living in Saskatoon is that you
have to travel to see anything interesting. I'll stop the discussion right
now by pointing out that "stupid" can be "interesting." Fortunately, my
girlfriend Kristin lives in Winnipeg, so I always have a legitimate reason
for going to Winnipeg. If the WWF happens to be doing a show in Winnipeg
while I am there, so much the better.
The flight to Winnipeg was uneventful, though at one point I looked up from my game of rummy on my Palm Pilot to see a guy with a turban up near the cockpit doors. Sure, he was just returning from taking a leak (or maybe something else, I didn't ask) but it still made me pause for a second. I don't know if this makes me a jerk or not. Either way, I went back to my game and the flight landed without incident, reaffirming my faith in brown people the world over.
When the flight landed, I took a limo to Kristin's house. This wasn't nearly as impressive as you might think. It's about the same cost as a cab, except you get legroom. The legroom was nice, especially when we got stuck behind a train and I was all stretched out and relaxed.
Enough about that. With just enough time before the show that going to dinner wouldn't really work, we wandered over to the arena. As we walked, a white limo headed down the road. The side windows were tinted, of course, but you could see in the front. Hey, there's my limo driver! It was the same guy, I'm sure of it. Of course, the limo pulls into the arena, and out jumps Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle rode in my limo! Boy, he's lucky I'm such a nice guy.
Braving the crowds, we shoved our way into the arena. The merchandise stands, as usual, had tons of stuff but very little of the WWF stuff that I actually want. I picked up a Kurt Angle shirt (front: an American flag and the words "Your True American Hero"; back: "The Truth Hurts" - see it at http://www.wwfshopzone.com/product.asp?pf%5Fid=59014&dept%5Fid=16&from=T82 ) while Kristin debated and ultimately opted against a stuffed Scotty 2 Hotty worm: http://www.wwfshopzone.com/product.asp?pf%5Fid=82006&dept%5Fid=11&from=T99
Food! I got a pizza and she got nachos and I got a soda and we got pretzels. It was pretty awesome, especially the pretzels.
The show started right on time at 7:30. Tony Chimel was the ring announcer and he led us through the usual spiel.
Referees for the evening included Tim White, Earl Hebner, a WCW guy (not Nick Patrick or Charles Robinson - maybe Mark Johnson?), and some old bald guy who might have been former Stampede ref Jurgen Hermann, but I can't prove that.
X-Pac d. Scotty 2 Hotty to keep the WWF light heavyweight title. This was a very good match, it got the crowd going. Lotsa stalling to begin with, as X-Pac started a trend whereby every heel for the night would try walking back to the dressing room. X-Pac takes too much heat from online fans, I think. He's not THAT bad, and he certainly had his fans. Anyway, Scotty hit the Worm for an apparent win, but X-Pac's foot was on the ropes. Scotty backed X-Pac into the corner, but X-Pac rolled up Scotty and put his dastardly cheating feet on the ropes for leverage. If you saw Raw on Oct. 8, you basically saw a shortened version of this match.
Lita d. Ivory. This was tolerable enough. Lita wins with the Twist Of Fate.
Brock Lesnar d. Kanyon. Lesnar is big. Really, really big. Like, thick and muscular. This match didn't do a whole lot for me. I don't want to write off Lesnar, because I know Kurt Angle did non-televised matches for months and everyone said that he was boring and they'd never do anything with him. Still, I didn't see a lot to get excited about. Lesnar kicked out of the Flatliner and hit a fisherman buster for the win.
The APA beat Chuck Palumbo and Mike Awesome. Before the match, the APA were talking to some guy at ringside. I couldn't hear, but I think they were talking about beer. Anyway, the APA is over. Very, very over. The match was nothing to write home about, though, but it was short so whatever. Bradshaw beat Awesome with the Clothesline From Hell.
After the match, who should appear but Steve Austin! He punched Faarooq a few times while Bradshaw just stood there, but Faarooq hit a spinebuster and Bradshaw hit another Clothesline From Hell and they left Austin laying. Austin then talked about how badly he had just got his ass kicked, but pledged to defeat Kurt Angle later on. Then he told us to go buy ourselves official Steve Austin shirts. Funny, though it seemed to come out of nowhere.
Chris Jericho beat Lance Storm. Storm came out first and said that Winnipeg was a disgrace to the rest of Canada. I cheered. Jericho interrupted him, ran through his catchphrases, made a few local references, the usual. It was a very good match. Jericho reversed a Canadian Maple Leaf into the Walls Of Jericho for the tapout.
Perry Saturn beat Steven Richards. Saturn shaved his goatee off! He looks quite different. The match was decent, but there was no real interest in it. Saturn won with the Three-Handled Moss-Covered Family Gredunzel.
Christian beat Edge to keep the I-C title. Another good match. Christian's entrance music is oh-so-popular. They fought into the crowd, with Edge slamming Christian into the boards (this is a hockey arena after all, it is Canada). Back in the ring, Christian went for a beltshot but the ref took the belt away. Edge hit a spear and went and got two chairs. As the ref was getting rid of the chairs, Christian flattened Edge with the belt and won.
Jeff Hardy beat Bubba Ray Dudley. D-Von Dudley was announced as not appearing due to travel problems (apparently, he was with his family as his uncle had died a day or two before). This match was pretty decent. Bubba grabbed his WWF tag title belt, but the ref took it away. As the ref was returning the belt to ringside and chatting endlessly with the timekeeper, Lita hit a top rope rana and Matt hit the Twist Of Fate on Bubba Ray. Jeff then landed a Swanton for the win.
Kurt Angle beat Steve Austin to keep the WWF title. A very good match. Again, you saw pretty much the whole thing on the October 8 Raw. The ending was different in Winnipeg, of course, and it was a bit screwed up. Angle hit the Angle Slam for a three count, but Austin kicked out at 2, so they both got up and Angle hit a Stunner on Austin for the pin. A bit confusing.
Afterwards, Austin thanked us for all our support. Some idiot fan tried rushing the ring, so security tackled him out of his shoes (literally). Austin thanked the security guards by name. Then he sang a song, but people were laughing and booing, so I couldn't hear what he was singing. He then went around ringside, asking people who they were and what they did. One guy said he worked for Shaw Cable (the local hated cable company), which got massive boos.
Austin: "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a no-good dirty sonofabitch who works for Shaw Cable."
This would have been enough to turn him face. Huge cheers.
Anyway, then Austin left and we all went home. All in all, a pretty good show. Kristin said she'd go again, which is amazing since it's not like she likes this wrestling stuff, or anything. Of course I'd go again too, but I'm dumb like that.