|WWE in Saskatoon
|Guest columnist: James Kalyn
May 25 saw the return of World Wrestling Entertainment (well, it was
the first WWE show there ever, but you know what I mean) to
Saskatchewan Place for the first time in five years. Last time they
were in town, Bret Hart fought The Patriot in the main event. Would
tonight be an improvement? We shall see...
The original card, as found on SaskPlace's website, looked a little like this:
Now, I've come to expect that the original lineup never sticks. They
The lineup changes didn't impress me any, but oh well. I had sent my friend Dave to line up for four hours in borderline freezing weather for these tickets, there was no turning back now!
We got to SaskPlace close to 6:30, about an hour before the show was to begin. A throng had assembled along a chain-link fence, through which one could - if one was so inclined - watch the wrestlers enter. We didn't stop to check things out, though a lot of screaming indicated that the Reverend D-Von had, in fact, made it to SaskPlace.
Once inside, we shoved our way around the building and found some
souvenir stands. Thirty-five of my finest Canadian dollars later, and
Angle's new You Suck shirt was mine. Dave's
girlfriend Kerry bought one too, while Dave opted for the
ever-controversial Get The F Out design.
While we were chatting, a few of my students wandered over. They're not technically mine, I don't own them or anything, but again - you know what I mean. While we were chatting, Dave and Kerry took off, followed soon after by Josy and Tyla. Eventually, I wandered off and checked out a few more things before finally heading to my seat.
There weren't a whole lot of signs tonight, but as soon as I sat down, Dave pointed out the best (?) one of the evening: Power Slam The Devil Davey Boy. Isn't it kind of impolite to assume that Bulldog went to Hell? Or in the immortal words of Justin M. Shapiro, "Not to be a buzzkill, but IF Davey Boy Smith did in fact go to hell, why would he have any more of a shot at dethroning his dark master than any other one of Satan's minions?"
The building looked to be over three-quarters full. Dave pegged the attendance at about 8,000 people, and I think he was right. The merchandise stands looked to be doing phenomenal business.
The show started right on time with Tony Chimel's introductions. Don't throw things, no laser pointers, a proprietary event held under the auspices of World Wrestling Entertainment blah blah whatever. National anthem and we're underway!
Funaki d. Christian
Bodypress Report: Funaki did a top rope bodypress onto Christian, who rolled through for a two count.
Test d. Maven
Bodypress Report: Maven did a top rope bodypress onto Test, who rolled through for a two count. Didn't he learn from the last match?
Hurricane d. Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Tajiri to retain the
Bodypress Report: Hurricane hit a top-rope bodypress on Chavo for a two count.
Chuck & Billy d. Big Valbowski & Randy Orton
There were lots of "faggot" and "you are gay" chants for this match, which I must admit didn't surprise me a whole lot. I've actually been surprised that this hasn't happened on WWE television with Chuck and Billy (or at least, not that I've seen).
Bodypress Report: Randy Orton hit a top-rope bodypress on either Chuck or Billy for a two count. The bodypress was not appearing to be the most effective move tonight.
Billy Kidman, Mark Henry, & Hugh Morrus d. Reverend D-Von, Deacon
Bautista, & Albert
Albert and Bautista appeared to be having a competition to see who could wear the smallest pants. Bautista won, I think. Albert is bigger, so his tiny pants covered a smaller percentage of his body, but Bautista wore pants that were technically smaller. Also, Bautista's ring attire has this design on it, so half the time, all you can see is this big white crotch and that was funny enough for bonus points. Bautista' kneepads were very shiny too.
Kidman got a great reaction. I think D-Von has new music. If my digressions haven't given it away yet, this was the weakest match of the night, but it still had its moments. They teased dissention between Albert and Bautista - Bautista tagged himself in and Albert didn't like that idea. In the end, Kidman hit a shooting star press on D-Von for the win. Albert stomped off in disgust while D-Von and Bautista stayed behind to try and claim victory.
Bodypress Report: D-Von hit a top-rope bodypress on Mark Henry, but Henry caught him and turned it into a powerslam.
Intermission. I decided that it wasn't worth fighting the crowd for anything. So I didn't.
Lance Storm d. Hardcore Holly
Bodypress Report: None that I noticed.
Chris Jericho d. Edge
This was another really good match. There were lots of near falls and big moves and all that good stuff. Edge kicked out of the Breakdown early on, and then made it to the ropes while in the walls. Jericho, meanwhile, kicked out of the Edge-o-matic. After a ref bump (the only one of the night), Edge locked Jericho in the Edgecator and Jericho tapped, but of course, the ref didn't see it. Jericho wound up hitting Edge with a low blow and then using a sleeper slam (like Chyna's old finisher) for the win. Afterwards, Edge dropped Jericho with the Edgecution DDT.
Bodypress Report: Edge hit a running bodypress on Jericho for a two count.
Torrie Wilson d. Stacy Keibler and Ivory in a bikini contest
Bodypress Report: I wish they'd bodypress ME! Hahahahahahaha never mind.
Triple H d. Kurt Angle
Bodypress Report: Sadly, none. Though we did take off right after Angle headed to the back, so maybe Triple H bodypressed a fan or something afterwards, but I doubt it.
All in all, it was a pretty good show, despite my reservations about the revised lineup. I'd certainly be willing to go see them again (even though SaskPlace is an awful venue), and I hope it doesn't take five years for them to come back again.
After the show, Dave fought the traffic to escape SaskPlace and we went back to their place and checked out the new WWE Velocity and WWE Confidential shows. They were both decent - certainly better than Excess was. Then I went home. True story.