QUICK QUOTE: WWF 16 (+ 13/16 ... last year: 23)
TONIGHT: It's a sold out house in Houston, because everybody saw the Rock
do that thing to Austin on SmackDown! and tonight, they're supposed to TEAM
UP against Kurt Angle and Rikishi? How can they *possibility* coexist?
Find out - in seven minutes of show - and two minutes of bloopers!
TV-14-DLV-CC - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Highlights from last week's RAW - and SmackDown!
Opening Credits
PYRO! We are LIVE from the Compaq Center in Houston, TX 6.11.2K and if
it's TNN, it must be the WWF where RAW is WAR! Transmitido en espanol con
SAP and a big crowd's at WWF New York, and I'm around 55 blocks uptown!
Let's start things off with
VINCENT K. is here?!? YOU tell ME this isn't a sweeps month! Tonight's
main event sees Rock and Austin team up against Rikishi and Angle, but
there's so much more! Undertaker takes on Val Venis! Jerry Lawler will
tie up with Raven! The Hardy Boyz put the gold on the line against the
Right to Censor! And Steve Blackman puts HIS title on the line against
Kane! But first....it's time for Vince McMahon to make a little noise.
"With Election Day tomorrow, you have to wonder just who Stone Cold Steve
Austin's gonna vote for. You have to wonder who'll the Rock vote for. You
even have to wonder who will Al Snow vote for - after all, Al's vote counts
as much as anybody else's. However, more important than Al Snow or anyone
else that's been mentioned, the most important thing is who will each and
every one of you vote for tomorrow." Lawler: "Tell us who to vote for,
Vince!" "Now there might be some of you in this arena who say, 'come on,
Vince, I don't care, I'm not gonna vote, 'cause I don't give a damn.'
Well, I can understand that - why should you give a damn? Because for
years now, the average American, the WWF fan has been what they call
disenfranchised from the political process for a long, long time. You've
been ostracized, you've been on the outside looking in, and the reason for
that is that the politica pundits say they don't care about you. They
don't give a damn about you. You know why? Because they say *you don't
vote.* Now there's some truth in that statement - there's some truth to
that statement; however, perhaps the biggest truth is you don't have a
REASON to vote. Well here tonight, I'm gonna give you a reason to vote
tomorrow. You see, when you think about it, you've got these various
political candidates, the two major parties, and they've lined up all of
their committed voters already. That's right. They've got the special
interest groups, they've got the unions, they've got the corporation, the
rich, all the individuals that vote in a block, they've got 'em all lined
up, but guess what - they've all cancelled each other out. That's right.
How ironic is it that despite all the money these candidates have spent?
Despite all the special interest group and the influence-peddling, how
ironic is it that not one - not one of the selfish political interest
groups will elect the next president of the United States - they won't do
it, but do you know who will? Each and every one of you. That's right,
the average American - the WWF fan. And let's face it - you, indeed, have
to face the fact that now more than ever, your country needs you to vote
tomorrow. Your country needs your common-sense wisdom to elect the next
leader of this great nation. Many of you may say, 'come on, Vince, once I
get in there, I mean, I don't like any of these candidates.' You may say
'come on, I really don't have anybody to vote for,' and you might be faced
with a choice of the lesser of evils, that's true - I still urge you to
vote. There might be some of you, when you get in that polling booth
tomorrow, who say 'wait a minute. I can't vote for any of these
politicians because I think a lot of them are lying.' (sign in crowd:
AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS DON'T TRUST ANYBODY) Imagine that - politicians that lie.
However, I still urge you to vote NONETHELESS, despite the fact that some
of these politicians might be lying - I urge you to vote for the politician
that is lying the least - because, let's face it - tomorrow, come Election
Day, you owe it to yourself to vote, you owe it to the great nation you
live in to vote, and, by God, tomorrow, average Americans - WWF fans will
in fact elect the next president of the United States of America. Thank
you very much." I hear glass, and so does Vince - STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
is out to offer his own opinion, I suppose. Four corner pose gives me a
chance to flex my fingers a bit. "Welcome back, Steve!" Hand of
Friendship. "Welcome back!" Austin decides on taking the mic away
instead. "You know you're out here flapping your gums about politics and
voting, and I think that's fine and dandy, but J(beep), it's Monday Night
RAW, and Stone Cold Steve Austin - Stone Cold Steve Austin didn't come out
here to talk about castin' a vote, he came out here to talk about openin' a
big fat can o' whoopass! You see, tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin has a
tag match with the Rock. The very same man who, last Thursday on
SmackDown!, gave me the Rock Bottom. So I'm just here to say this: Rock
you can decide to double cross Stone Cold tonight, I'll be right here in
the centre of this ring, givin' out these homemade knuckle sandwiches, and
I think you know what I mean! The reason I'm out here, though, is real
simple. You're in here flappin' your gums and I'm back there listenin',
and the more I listen, the more I think. You know, who was the great
mastermind who put together this big plan to take out Steve Austin?
Because you know, Rikishi may have been driving the car, and as tough as he
is, he ain't the smartest sumbitch in the world, so someone had to put him
up to it! So who's the big mastermind that loves to manipulate people?
Who's the man behind the scenes that likes to get people to do exactly what
he wants people to do? Basically, what I'm sayin', an evil bastard sick
enough to do this to Stone Cold Steve Austin. Yeah? I can see the look on
your face - you're thinking the exact same thing that old Stone Cold Steve
Austin is thinking. How do I know it wasn't Vince McMahon behind this
whole plan? Blah blah blah blah, sit there and look at me in the damn eye,
son. How do I know it wasn't Vince McMahon who pulled every little string,
who--" KING KURT ANGLE & STEPHANIE ONO are out. "Hold it right there,
bucko! No one talks that way to the father of my business advisor! How
dare you! Just because the list of people is endless who'd want to take
you out doesn't mean that you can pick on just anyone. I mean, heck,
Austin, while you're at it, why not question George W. Bush? Maybe it
wasn't Rikishi who hit you after all...maybe it was GW after he had a few
cold ones - oh, it's true. See, Austin, you may think you're in
your element - you know, the big man among all these drunken, beer
guzzling, foul smelling, yeehawing Texans...["ass hole"]...you know what,
Austin? That's just fine with me, because as an Olympic gold medalist, WWF
Champion AND representative of all fifty states, I am hereby renouncing my
ties to the state of Texas. You know what, Austin? If they wanta cheer a
loser like you, I say let 'em." Stephanie is in the ring, and in Austin's
face. "Who the hell do you think you are? I've got news for you, Austin.
You're not gonna put your hands anywhere near my father or MY business
partner, the WWF Champion Kurt Angle!" "Is that a fact?" "Yes." "Well,
you know what? I respect the fact that you're a woman, but for your own
safety you might wanta take about two steps back. There ain't a McMahon
around here that tells Stone Cold Steve Austin anything, and you ain't
gonna come out here and run your mouth in the middle of the ring--" Angle
with a forearm from behind. The McMahons hightail it -
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," KICK WHAM STUNNER #24 STEP OFF BECAUSE
THE MAN SOMETHING SOMETHING FEELING THAT YOU WILL - replay, of course.
The Undertaker tries to run down some folks backstage. He's next!
The WWF Fanatic Series for November features "Hell Yeah: Stone Cold's Saga
Continues." Wait...didn't it used to be Fanatix? Did they try to steal
somebody's copyright? Naughty, naughty WWF!
The Dudley Boyz are an integral part of this ad for "No Mercy" for the N64
Moments Ago, Angle tried to sneak in one on Austin, but Austin turned it
around. KWS: Please Don't Go!
Vince says he has a strange feeling something momentous is going to occur
tonight, and this isn't the place for Stephanie tonight. He loads her in
the limo. Before Vince leaves, Angle stops him to say "Mr. McMahon, I was
very moved by your speech tonight...very inspiring. You're welcome. Take
care of yourself, Steph. See you, Mr. McMahon. (after the car puls away)
You're right, Mr. McMahon, this is gonna be a night like no
other...especially for Stephanie's husband, Triple H."
HEY HEY HEY HEY v. BALD VENIS - somehow, the STEEL steps have magically
levitated over to the barricade, standing on end! It's MYSTUFYIN', I tell
ya! Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where the Reaper declined an
invitation to join the Right to Censor. We learn that any RtC interference
in this match will cancel their later tag team title shot tonight. Kick by
Undertaker, soupbone, soupbone, back elbow, soupbone, threatening motions
to referee "Blind" Teddy Long, back elbow, into the opposite corner,
sidewalk slam, off the ropes with an elbowdrop, off the ropes with an
elbowdrop, 1, 2, kickout. Venis has done NOTHING so far. Soupbone. Into
the ropes, head down, kick by Venis, kick, sloooow neckbreaker gets 2.
Venis right, right, block, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone. Into the ropes is
reversed, back elbow by Venis, elbowdrop, off the ropes with a kneedrop,
seven quick rights off the mount. Venis outside. Up top...but 'Taker pops
up and grabs the tie - soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, overhead
beal across the ring. Got him in a choke...but Venis kicks out, kick,
right, right, off the ropes, 'Taker with a clothesline. Warriors of Might
and Magic Double Feature of the super beal. Venis kicks out at 2.
Scoop...Venis wriggles free. Right, right, head to the buckle, into the
opposite corner is reversed and Venis lands hard. Into the ropes, big
Badass boot. 1, 2, shoulder pops free. 'Taker takes his head to the
buckle. Soupbone. Into the corner, but Venis gets a foot up to stop the
charge. Right, right, right, right, knee, 'Taker pulls him through the
ropes and outside the ring. 'Taker follows - head to the STEEL steps,
standing against the barricade. Back in the ring, whip into the ropes,
Venis ducks a soupbone, gutshot by Venis, going for a suplex, but 'Taker
blocks. Knee, knee, wedgiebomb, 1, 2, 3. (5:09) I call him
Cowboy! Replay of the deal with the thing.
Triple H is WALKING! all the way to the Commissioner's office. After a
brief buddying, bonding moment, H asks for the Radicalz. Foley says he can
only do it if he finds three others to make it four on four. H says he has
some folks in mind. Austin shows up at this point to ask about Foley
teaming him up with the Rock tonight. Foley says he knows the Rock
wouldn't be the accomplice, and teaming them up tonight should smooth
things over. Austin says if Rock DOES try anything tonight, not only will
be the Rock's ass, it'll be his ass, too.
Here's a look at the parking lot - we're waiting for the Rock, supposedly
Let Us Take You Back Two Weeks Where An Errant Cup Of Coffee Triggered An
Epic Confronation For The Ages
MICHAEL KING COLE stands with Kane. "I gave you all a chance. I showed
the world what I was - who I was - and the world didn't like it. You
couldn't accept someone who was different! You put people like me in the
closet. You hide us away - that way you don't have to acknowledge that we
exist. You don't wanna see me - (whips back hair) - you don't wanna see
what lies under this. You wanna see Chris Jericho. You want someone who
you can look up to, someone you can idolize. Someone to cheer for, someone
who's...pretty. You want Jericho. Well, the more you cheer for him, the
more I hate him. The more you want to see him, the more I want to END him.
And if the world won't accept the freak, then I'll give the world the
monster." So why'd he challenge Blackman? "He is pretty as well." No, he
actually says. "That's simple. After I beat Blackman and become hardcore
champion, I'll challenge Jericho to a title defense. Then, when I tear his
face apart - when I rip out his pretty blonde hair - when I beat him so bad
that his appearance is so repulsive that he too wears a mask as a shield -
when I do that, it'll all be legal." Well, that's pretty weak...yet
logical...
Meanwhile, Dogg says he always has his back, but he hasn't spoken to him
since he's been back. H says there's only one way they'll find out - go
ask him themselves. Ask WHO? WHO?
WWF cookbook ad - some very kind person got me one, complete with
signatures of Blackman, Angle and Ross. THIS IS THE GREATEST BOOK EVER!
Dudley Boyz "No Mercy" ad #2 - a different one. Buh Buh Ray fails to stutter.
Chyna and Billy Gunn are joking around when Triple H and Road Dogg hit the
locker room. Triple H talks a lot about making mistakes - maybe they made
mistakes too. But they have something bigger in front of them - the
Radicals. They want a piece of them, so do they. They don't have to be
friends. Maybe it's only for one night, maybe it's long beyond the point
any of us are interested in them, but whaddaya say? Are you in? Is
D-Generation X back together? Everybody shakes hands. I'm gonna go barf.
T&A (with Trish Stratus - the fitness model) v. TOO COOL (with WWF.com
logo) - Big press conference Wednesday for WrestleMania at the Reliant
Astro Arena - tickets for the event go on sale Saturday! T&A cut the
dancing short and Hotty is tossed. Albert and Sexay in the ring - Albert
with a right. Into the corner, yaaaah splash misses. Big boot by Sexay.
Punch blocked, right by Sexay, tornado DDT. Calling Hotty over -
but Albert catches the crossbody attempt and hits a yaaaaah slam. Hotty in
the ropes - Albert throats him with a catapult. Tag to Test. Right,
right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, off the ropes, but a
big boot halts the bulldog attempt - Test gets 2. Scoop - and a slam.
Warriors of Might and Magic with the Double Feature. Test going up top -
but Hotty gets a boot up. Sexay gets the (it's been ninety seconds in) HOT
TAG. Right, right, right, into the ropes, boot is caught - but there's an
enzuigiri. Albert wants in but Sexay catches him straddling the top rope
and crotches him, bouncy bouncy! Hotty is over to clothesline him out, and
he follows - and so does referee "Blind" Mike Chioda. Back in the ring,
Sexay hits a dancin' dropkick off the second rope. Stratus is up on the
second rope - Sexay wants to punch her, but Test uses Stratus' boot on
Sexay. Chioda back in - 1, 2, NO! Hotty back in - Test going for a
poweromb, but Hotty falls backwards, goes off the ropes, and hits the
bulldog! "I'm going to do the worm" face! W O R M - hoo hoo hoo -
hiiii-YA! Sexay to the top - he's got the goggles - Hip Hop Drop scores.
But Stratus is on the apron again. Chioda is over to her, naturally.
Behind his back, Albert has a surprise yaah toss for Hotty and a big
yaaaaaaaaah Albertbomb for Sexay. Test over to cover him, Stratus off the
apron, Chioda around and counting a fall. T&A win. (3:52) Post-match,
CRASH & A BLONDE CHICK show up - Crash ducks a Test charge and lowers the
bridge, taking him outside, then landing a pescado. Meanwhile, a
distracted Albert falls to a Too Cool doubleteam. Now, the woman comes in
- looks like Starla Saxton/Mona - and works over Trish Stratus. She's in
pigtails - hot shot - springboard (almost falls) crossbody! Tossing
Stratus out of the ring as Crash's theme plays. Commentators are stupefied
as to her identity, so she ain't Mona - she has similar tights to Holly,
though. Must be his mother AND sister or something. Replay of what we
just done seen.
Hey look! It's the Radicalz and Terri! And they're WALKING!
Hey look! It's D-Generation X! One night only? They're WALKING!
"No Mercy" for the N64 ad #3 - see #1
And now, Warriors of Might and Magic present the WWF Slam of the Week!
From SmackDown!, Triple H delivers a Pedigree to Benoit, but Guerrero uses
his title belt to turn it around. The four are one...once again.
Hey, look! It's ROGER CLEMENS in the front row! But Lawler is more in a
tizzy about galleryfurniture.com's Jim McIngvale - Ross and Lawler give
galleryfurniture.com a blowjob. I tried to visit the site but it was down
- obviously some sort of testament to the power of being mentioned on WWF
television!
D-GENERATION X - WELL, WHAT'S LEFT OF THEM (with RAW credits & TV-14-DLV-CC
boxes) v. RADICALS (with Nipples) - Okay, if they're gonna spell it that
way, then I shall too - we'll see if they stick with it. The second team
comes to the ring to the "Aggression" DX theme, but without Run-DMC. I
*won't* call him Billy Gee, 'cause it's LAME and GAY. Then again, Billy
Gunn is kinda lame and gay, so maybe it's apropos. Guerrero and Gunn
start. Duck, right by Guerrero, right, right, into the ropes, reversed,
duck, duck, Gunn with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Tag to Chyna - Guerrero backs
into her and has one of those classic reactions. Crappy elbow, crappy
elbow, crappy elbow, into the ropes is reversed, gutshot, alleged swinging
neckbreaker. Guerrero crawls to the corner, Malenko falls into a drop
toehold. Tag to Dogg, left, left, left, juke, jive, right, into the ropes,
head down, big back body drop. Saturn over to the adjacent corner to try
to get referee "Blind" Earl Hebner's attention. Malenko reverses it with a
right, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, he falls outside. Benoit
over to throw a forearm. Dogg put back in before Hebner can notice.
Benoit tagged in. Backbreaker gets 2. Into the corner is reversed and
Benoit falls backwards into Dogg. Benoit manages to get up first - running
kick. Death suplex attempt is countered into a crossbody by Dogg for 1.
Stomp by Benoit. Benoit's clothesline is ducked, as is his
backhand. Benoit DOES manage a front face, Dogg shoves back into his
corner, but the other Radicals distract Hebner just before he can make that
tag. Saturn stays in and takes it to the Road Dogg. Into the ropes, head
down, kick by Dogg, but Saturn manages the Northern Lights suplex for 2.
Into the ropes, duck, mid-air collision puts both men down. Tag to
Malenko, HOT TAG to Gunn - he's a house on fire! Shots for everybody -
jackhammer for Malenko. Off the ropes, Guerrero puts a knee in the back,
turning him around to take a shot from Malenko. Gunn manages to counter
the whip with a Fame'Asser, but Benoit breaks it up. It's all breaking
down now - Pier Eight Brawl. Kind of a mess, really - nobody doing
anything important. H going for the Pedigree on Malenko - Guerrero tries
to save, but H shoves him to Chyna for another crappy forearm or two, DOES
hit the Pedigree on Malenko, and covers for the 1, 2, 3. I can't see how
Triple H was legal, but...oh well. (5:11) "The Kings" proper plays, but
it's cut short as KING KURT ANGLE runs back in, along with a renewed push
from the Radicals, and the forces of evil take control of the happenings
between the ropes. Angle lays the boots to Triple H, then takes off as the
Radicals' music plays. Angle smiles broadly and widely. Replay of the
Pedigree, pin, and punk out. We come out of the replay to see the Radicals
smiling and posing at the top of the ramp...
A limousine pulls up in the parking lot. Is it the Rock? Why yes, it is!
And now he's WALKING!
"No Mercy" for the N64 ad #4 - see #2
And now, the WWF Rewind, presented by WWF No Mercy for Nintendo 64 - buy it
wherever books are sold! From SmackDown! last Thursday, Ivory takes the
Women's title from Lita.
WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: GOODFATHER & WALL BUCHANAN (with Steven Richards
& Ivory...and Let Us Take You Back to Heat) v. HARDY BOYZ (with Lita) -
Pier Four Brawl to start, but the Goodfather and Matt end up outside,
leaving Buhanan and Jeff to go at it - into the corner, Jeff up and on the
shoulders, Buchanan shoves him to the apron, head to the gut...butIvory
pulls him off before he can capitalize! Jeff chases her into a Lita spear.
Referee "Blind" Jim Korderas decides to ban BOTH of them from ringside.
Back to the action, double gutshot for Buchanan, double suplex. 1, 2, no.
Jeff stays in, right, right, right, kick, into the ropes, reversed,
reversed to the first rope - chatting with Korderas while Goodfather
throttles him behind his back. Oops, that's Matt - he's just got some
goofy hair as well. Into the ropes, double gutshot from RtC - head to the
mat - 1, 2, no. Lawler says he won't vote for Gore and Lieberman - they
could be card carrying members of the Right to Censor! Running clothesline
from Goodfather. Death suplex. 1, 2, no. Head to the boot of Buchanan,
tag, into the ropes, gutshot by Goodfather, swinging neckbreaker by
Buchanan. Arm wringer, clothesline. Tag to Goodfather, gutshot, into the
ropes, head down, kick by Hardy, off the ropes, big boot by Goodfather.
Sitting him up on top - right hand. Goodfather on the second floor, right
by Hardy, shoving him off, super legdrop and both men are down. HOT TAG to
Jeff! Ducks the clothesline, dropkick to Goodfather, shot for Buchanan,
double leg for Goodfather, legdrop between the legs - Buchanan in, Jeff
ducks, Matt with a punch - it's all down now, Pier Four ensues as Richards
occupies Korderas' attention. Finally, Matt and Goodfather collide with
Korderas, who falls outside. Goodfather dumped over the top by Matt. Matt
on the corner- big splash to the floor! Jeff clotheslines Buchanan IN the
ring, in the meantime - swantonbomb (sort of) lands, but there's nobody to
count the fall! Jeff up to see what's going on - well, here's EDGE &
CHRISTIAN - Jeff ducks Edge's clothesline and runs him out - Christian's
Tomokaze fails when Matt makes it back in to give HIM a kick in the gut,
and toss him outside. Poetry in Motion on Buchanan. Double gutshot for
Goodfather, Poetry in Motion on HIM...no, Richards holds up the tag belt
and Jeff runs into it. Goodfather covers, and Korderas is back up - 1, 2,
3!!! Ladies and gentlemen, we have NEW tag team champions. (5:20)
Richards makes an array of exciting faces to celebrate the victory,
handshakes all around, and at the top of the ramp, a smiling Edge &
Christian. Here's a replay of how it all went down.
Kurt Angle is WALKING! He asks Garea and Long if they've seen the Rock.
They direct him to the big door with "THE ROCK" written on it. "Thank you
very much." Angle goes inside - "Hey Rocky!" - and WAFFLES him with his
title belt. Garea, Long and Slaughter pull Angle off of him. Rock seems
perplexed as to how he just got his ass beaten down.
"No Mercy" for the N64 ad #5 - I think - I'm losing count
Hey golly, it's one o' them Pat Buchanan ads! Oh my! Man, this ad is SO
MUCH BETTER than those anti-immigration ads he insisted on running during
SmackDown!
Moments Ago...three paragraphs ago
Your commentators are a pair of kings - LARRY KING & JERRY LAWLER.
Moments Ago, the Hardy Boyz just lost the tag team championship. "It's a
damn shame!"
Backstage, Edge & Chrsitian celebrate their new eligibility for tag team
championship shots with a kazoo rendition of Chris Benoit's theme. "Chris
Benoit is here and he's really mad / Chris Benoit is here and he's really
an-GRY / Here it is in full, the Chris Benoit song--" Foley interrupts with
"Is there any wrestler who can prove him wrong?" "That reeked, Mick."
"We're outta here." Foley says they should have been out long ago, when he
gave them the night off. Yeah, but they got bored, they say. Foley starts
in with a vibe that Christian describes as "suxual overtones" - Foley says
their boredom will be relieved with a table match with the Dudley Boyz.
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: WELL IT'S KANE v. MR. PARTY TIME STEVE BLACKMAN
(with Riggs & Murtaugh) - Blackman dares him to meet him up the aisle, and
Kane is accommodating. Kick by Blackman, right, right, knee by Kane, right
by Kane, right, dropping him on the barricade, uppercut and Blackman goes
into the crowd. Blackman manages to take HIS head to the barricade,
though, then hits a Lethal Kick from the barricade to the floor, and
apparently knocking the wind out of himself as well. DAMN! Kane rolls
into the ring while Blackman tries to get his breath back and find some
weapons as well. Kane stomps as Blackman comes back in. Right. Stomp.
Into the ropes, clothesline by Kane. Kane grabs a garbage can lid...but
Blackman manages a drop toehold. Blackman kneecaps Kane with a lid. Lid.
Lid to the back. Kane pops up with a death suplex after Blackman
hesitates. Kane with the lid...into the ropes, Blackman tries a roundhouse
but misses - Kane hits him with the lid. Blackman tries to shake it off as
Kane stalks - head to the buckle by Kane, into the opposite corner,
sidewalk slam. Kane goes outside and climbs to the top floor - Blackman
against the ropes to crotch him. Backhanded lid shot to the head.
Blackman outside and he's got the "It's Party Time" sticks! Kane regards
Blackman...and comes in - Hundred Sticks from Blackman! Stick in the
crotch slam coming up - but Kane elbows away - elbow, into the ropes,
Blackman slides under and uppernuts him with the stick. Stick in the back.
Blackman outside, and bringing in the garbage can. Kane chokes him, but
Blackman hits him in the head with the can, then comes off the top rope
anyway - but Kane puts up the big boot to stop that. Running powerslam by
Kane. Kane outside - grabbing the top half of the STEEL steps and putting
it in the ring. Kane back in as well - ready to ... well, here's CHRIS
MONDAY JERICHO (we all saw THAT coming) with a chair - WHACK! Kane falls
and the steps fall on top of him. Jericho with a chairshot to the steps
for good measure. Blackman hooks a leg - 1, 2, 3! (4:50) Jericho walks
off with a serious look. Replay of the chair to the steps...to the mat.
Hey, the Rock is WALKING! He's looking for Kurt Angle...but he finds Steve
Austin instead. He tells Austin that he hopes he demonstrated last Thursday
that if he has business with him, he'd do it right in front of him. Austin
says he hopes HE did the same thing Thursday. Rikishi's accomplice,
whoever he turns out to be, is in line for a serious ass-whoopin'. Rock
says somebody's ass should be whooped, but it won't be the Rock's ass,
'cause he told him he had nothing to do with it! "Well I guess I'll see
you in the ring." "Damn right!"
WWF ShopZone.com ad - if you don't have a browser, you can call 203 601
5020 - but then, how are you reading THIS??
Moments Ago, Jericho and a chair stymied Kane's chances of winning
the hardcore championship.
JERRY LAWLER (already in the ring) v. RAVEN (with Tazzzzzzzzzz and the
WWF.com logo) - Tazz takes Lawler's seat...to carry Ross. Lockup, to the
corner, Lawler ducks a punch, Lawler with a right. Block, right, right,
right. Fistdrop from the second rope. 1, 2, Raven kicks out. Raven
muscles him to the corner, seven quick rights, five or six kicks, into the
opposite corner, clothesline, bulldog, 1, 2, Lawler kicks out. Head to the
buckle by Raven, again, head to another corner, Lawler starts growling and
blocks the next one. Raven's head to the buckle, right, THE STRAP IS DOWN
but this is Houston so nobody reacts. Right puts Raven down. Right.
Wonder what's next - WHOA! A DROPKICK! Piledriver coming up - but Tazz
hits the ring to stop that. (DQ 1:33) I wonder if AL SNOW will make the
save - but of course. Bell clap with Head and a Head wearing crown.
Tosses the crowned Head to Lawler, Head for Tazz - Lawler looks at the Head
- and levels Tazz with it. Snow to Raven, Lawler to Tazz, Snow to Tazz.
Snow's music plays as Lawler wonders what he's just done.
The Dudley Boyz are WALKING! and picking up a table.
Meanwhile, Edge & Christian are WALKING!
XFL cheerleaders ad - what'll they look like in heavy coats, I ask you?
"No Mercy" for the N64 ad #6
Here's a look at the exterior of the fashionable Compaq Center
WrestleMania X-Seven tix go on sale this Saturday. Call 713 581 1WWF if
you're not at the Reliant Astrodome and let TicketMaster deal with your
money!
Right to Censor huddles up backstage. "What we have just done tonight is
one step closer to attaining our goal - soon, Mr. Venis - but for now,
united with the strength of our convictions, there is nothing - or no one -
that can stop us. We...are in...control!" Mr. Bischoff, paging Mr.
Bischoff...
EDGE & CHRISTIAN (with RAW is WAR is brought to you by THQ's "WWF No Mercy"
for the N64, 1-800-CAL-LATT, and Castrol Motor Oily!) v. THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ
in a table match - Edge and Christian meet them out on the floor and it's
on. Edge and Buh Buh Ray go at it on the outside - D-Von puts Christian
down on the inside. Edge hits the barricade. Christian dumps D-Von. Buh
Buh Ray back in, right, right, right to Christian. Into the ropes, big
back body drop. Into the opposite corner, but Christian ducks the splash.
Poetry in Motion to Buh Buh Ray's back. They mock the Dudleyz - Edge asks
Christian to get the tables, then Christian does D-Von's "testify" dance.
Buh Buh Ray recovers and tosses Christian, sidewalk slam for Edge, "wassup"
for Edge, "testify" dance, D-Von...get the table, but Christian & Edge
double baseball slide dropkick the table into the Dudleyz. Christian works
on D-Von on the outside while Edge and Buh Buh Ray go at it on the inside.
Full nelson atomic drop by Dudley. Table stood up in the ring -
Edge laid on top - Buh Buh Ray to the second floor....but Christian is over
with a low blow. Both Edge & Christian on the second rope...but before
they can superplex Buh Buh Ray through the table, the HARDY BOYZ run out
and move the table out of the way. Hardyz beat down Edge & Christian.
LITA is out as well, and there's a scary 'rana for Christian. Dudleyz back
in - Christian gets 3D (Dudley Death Drop) through the table. (3:31)
Lawler: "Can't anybody have a match without somebody else interfering?"
Jeff with a swantonbomb to the floor, putting Edge through a table! That's
it.
JONATHAN COACHMAN catches up with Rikishi, who is wearing (Virgil / Test /
Scott Steiner)'s face mask. What happened to his nose? "Well, do you want
to find out? Wipe that freakin' smile off your face, too. How many times
do I have to tell you people out there that Stone Cold is all alone? It's
not going to be a tag team match, it's going to be a handicap match - it's
gonna be me and Kurt Angle out there pounding Stone Cold - You see, Rock
was the one - Rock was the one - he was the one behind this whole deal!
And whether you people like it or not, tonight, the truth comes out - bet
that."
"No Mercy" for the N64 ad number...ummm...seven? JESUS
And let this be the LAST "Smack down your vote" promo we see...for a few
years, anyway
Here's a look at WWF New York - inside, Debra samples the vittles
Michael King Cole stands with fellow King Kurt Angle. What's up with this
sudden mean streak? "Oh, a little mean streak? Let me tell you something.
I'm not only an Olympic gold medalist, I'm the WWF champion. See? Gold -
gold. I have had the most successful rookie year in WWF history - I am not
gonna be ANYONE'S whipping boy. Triple H thinks he can throw me around
last week just because he can - well I showed him that I can do a heck of a
lot, too. And the Rock - the Rock saw what I was capable of doing earlier
tonight. And soon, Stone Cold will get his. Whipping boy. Children love
me, dammit!"
Steve Austin is WALKING!
Meanwhile, the Rock is WALKING! Oops, somebody just shoved a large pile of
heavy metallic objects into him. Hey, my kinda "walking" clip!
"No Mercy" for the N64 ad #8 - well hot damn, I probably got them all - now
let's NEVER see an ad for this game again
...just like Jericho eating ravioli on a remote island
Moments Ago, the Rock was WALKING! Those big metal boxes oughta be OUTLAWED
During the Break, EMT's attempted to attend to the Rock - Rock made it to
his feet...but fell over into the metal stuff again. D'oh! Foley asked
for him to be loaded onto the gurney - he can't let him wrestle tonight.
RIKASHMONEY and KING KURT ANGLE (with Warriors of Might and Magic present
Survivor Series 19 November!) v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in a handicap
match - it's already two to the hour...this'll either be short, or this
show is going WAY long. After Angle's entrance, we see Foley send off the
ambulance with a promise that he'll get to the bottom of this thing. Say,
Foley seemed pretty close to that situation, didn't he? Austin
pulls Angle out and punches away - here we go. Right, right, right, into
the commentary table, right, right, kick for Rikishi, right, right, right,
right, into the STEEL steps, Angle gets in a shot. Into the ring, Austin
takes Angle as he follows in with a stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp,
stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp, Rikishi over but Austin
punches him - right, right - into the ropes with Angle, back elbow. Into
the ropes, Thesz press, seven rights. Rikishi with an uppercut and FINALLY
Austni goes down. Stomp, stomp. Angle rolls outside to catch his breath.
Rikish slaps, Angle back in, double whip into the ropes, double clothesline
ducked, double clothesline delievered. Stomp to Angle's nuts as Hebner
checks on Rikishi. Austni stomps on Rikishi's nuts, but Hebner lets it go.
KICK WHAM but Angle shoves Austin into a Rikishikick. Angle stomp, stomp,
stomp, stomp, sotmp. Rikishi off the ropes with the drumstick drop. Angle
stomp, stomp, stomp, right. Rikishi right, right, Angle stomp, stomp, into
the opposite corner, fat ass splash finds nobody home. Austin with a
clothesline that flips Rikishi. Angle put in the corner, right, right,
right, stomp Rikishi, stomp, Angle with a waistlock, but Austin's trick
knee acts up. Parting the legs...and another stomp on the golden jewels.
Rikishi outside - he's found the sledgehammer. Double clothesline in the
ring and both Austin and Angle are down. Rikishi slowly climbs the steps
back into the ring. But Austin manages to recover enough to get first
strike on Rikishi - right, right, right, right, right, stomp, stomp, stomp,
Angle from behind, elbow, elbow, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Right,
right, Rikishi sits on him, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right - THE NEW MAN is out? Rikishi stomps. H goes
for Angle, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
over the top rope through the floor, got the sledgehammer. Austin is
stomping on Rikishi, and tosses HIM over the rope to the apron. And now -
oh yeah - Triple H takes the sledgehammer to Austin's head! "What the hell
is that? What the HELL is that?" Triple H puts on a black glove...right
hand! Thirty-two rights in total (I counted). There's one for Hebner as
well. Austin's blood is flowing. H with three or four more rights...now
directing Rikishi into a BAN - ZAI - DRAWWWWWWWWP! Ross swears that'll
stop your heart. "Someone tell me why, dammit!" H has the mic.
"Austin...your search - it's over. It's all - it's all over. Now you
know, you dumb son of a bitch." H and Rikishi exchange a high ten.
Rikishi gives Hebner another right hand. Ross: "Why, Triple H? You son of
a bitch! Why? Tell me why!"
WWF logo - and we're out.
Is H still a face?
Look, if you STILL don't want to vote because Bush and Gore are the same,
why not go ahead and pull the lever for Harry Browne? The Libertarians are
on more state ballots than the Greens, and they're not some flash in the
pan party with a bunch of bandwagoneers who vote despite knowing NOTHING of
the platform, and they're not a party that nobody will remember if they
can't manage to find another celebrity to run, and they're the only
alternative if you truly value your personal rights and individual
freedoms. Visit the party website at www.lp.org and send a REAL message
with your vote.
However, if you STILL can't stomach the thought of voting for a third party...
Well....
Bush is the lesser of two evils.
But you didn't hear that from me.
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net