by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
Sean Shannon keeps goading me in email. I think that's a bit much,
considering *I* try to keep my goading of *him* PUBLIC!
MAD PROPS: Steve Kelly at Palm Springs' Power Radio 100.5 sent me some
T-shirts, so this week he is the COOLEST MAN ALIVE. Honourable mention to
John Iuro, who I was supposed to hook up with but for too late a night the
day before...next time, I hope!
DELAYED REACTION: To dbidwa, it took me three months, but I just wanted to
let you know I DID get the tape - even if I put it on a shelf and forgot
about it until now! Thanks!
Report starts down there - bear with me while I get through THIS first:
Last night in Palo Alto, I saw a rather great set by ABC. Martin Fry said
it had been fifteen years since the band had toured America - wow, don't I
feel old? Fry barely had a voice and was having rather a lot of tea in an
attempt to keep functioning - but the five hundred or so of us in the
crowd ably assisted the background singers and the guitarist (who didn't
normally sing, I believe - but he did fine) and - well, I guess you had to
be there.
I managed to haul off both a setlist AND an autograph from Fry, so my buzz
was amplified that much more. When I got home, I just couldn't bring
myself to get back to this wrestling game - I took a hot bath instead and
a simultaneous nap.
However, there were times early in the concert that my thoughts went to
wrestling. ABC was HUGE in 1985. Phenomenally large and popular and all
that. And yet...here they are at the Edge in Palo Alto playing to a crowd
of a few hundred diehard fans, and here's Martin Fry giving some brief
facetime to the yokels that camped outside the back door - a great
experience! My POINT (and I do have one - thanks Ellen) is that there's a
small part of me that wishes wrestling would undergo the same
transformation. With the popularity of wrestling at an all-time high, how
much fun is it to be part of an audience of thirty thousand when you
remember being in the high school gym as part of an audience of a
thousand? Don't get me wrong - the huge events have a charm all their
own, but the INTIMACY of the thing is gone. You know?
Of course, I've lost a whole heap of you already. Quite a few of you are
saying to yourselves "Didn't ABC do 'At the Playground?'" to which I
reply, har har. Still others are in the front office at APW and wondering
why I'm such a hypocrite for bemoaning the big-time-edness of it all when
I could support my local indy and recapture that magic already, so
hopefully I've saved YOU a few mails. Ha!
Back to the Edge - the Orange Peels are quite good - any band that
performs in suits pretty much automatically gets the benefit of a doubt
anyway, but the local quartet rocked it out. I spent most of the set
trying to decide if the bassist was cute or not - then I realised, hey,
it's a chick up onstage in a jacket and skirt playing a bass - does it
MATTER?
As for Ten in the Swear Jar, they were less good - still GOOD, but
unremarkably so. They did use some interesting instruments which I shan't
bother to describe, lest you provide me with NAMES and stuff, and I don't
need to know. The lead singer DID make the Another Bad Creation joke,
though, which rubbed me the wrong way a bit. See, where *I* come from, if
the Opening Act disses the Headliner, they tend to not become Headliners
themselves down the road. They could also be the hottest shit in town -
like I'D know. Still, I'd estimate the amount of the crowd come in to see
them at something like 1%. I liked the sax guy, though.
You ARE watching UPN!!
TV-14-DLV One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
You look here at these clips from the main event at No Mercy - including
an errant sledgehammer blow from the Rock to Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Here are some clips from the next night's episode of "RAW is WAR" opening
interviewfest, setting up the Survivor Series main event - a Triple Threat
match between Triple H, the Rock, and Steve Austin. Here's a look at the
final staredown...which leads nicely into TONIGHT'S show, one hopes!
Opening credits
FIREWORKS MAKE NOISE and the OvalTron is on the right this week. It's
21.10.99 and SmackDown! is en espanol donde sea disponible! This show was
taped 19.10 from the historic Freedom Hall in Louisville, KY and your
chronicler is once again SPOILER FREE! Watch it with me and be
surprised...
MANKIND draws the long straw and opens the show - he is maskless. "When I
began to sit down on May 7th of this past year to write my memoirs, I only
had one small problem - which is, I never learned how to use a computer.
So I hope everyone can appreciate that when they take a look at 'Have a
Nice Day,' what they're looking at is a pen and 17 notebooks worth of my
heart, my soul and my emotions. Now, wrestling fans can talk about the
Hell in the Cell as the greatest thing that Mick Foley ever did. Some can
talk about the Japanese Death Match as the greatest thing that Mick Foley
ever did. Or they could talk about winning the WWF Championship as being
the greatest thing that Mick Foley ever did. I'm here to tell you tonight
in Louisville, Kentucky [cheap heat] that 'Have a Nice Day,' my book, is
the best damn thing I've ever done in my life - I can't tell you how proud
I am - the way I've written it BY MYSELF, no ghost writer, no 'as told
to,' it's just Mrs. Foley's little boy, and his pen and paper. So, maybe
you can kinda feel how I felt when I presented my pride and joy to the
Rock and he - well, he - he threw it out. So kinda what I'm saying is,
when the Rock threw out my pride and joy, he may just as well have taken
down his pants and taken a big ol' dump on Mick Foley himself." Crowd
apparently chants "Rocky" here - although I wouldn't discount some
editing. Foley gives a "thumbs up" here. "And I went out here and I said
something I didn't really mean, I guess I've had a few days to think about
it, I said I didn't want anything further to do with the Rock. Well I've
had a couple days to think about it, and I think I do know EXACTLY what I
want, and that's - I want exactly what the Rock has. And Vince McMahon
himself is the only man who can give it to me, so cameraman if you don't
mind, the Rock used to always make mention of my big fat ass - so why
don't you get a little camera shot of that, 'cause what I'm about to do is
take that big fat ass of mine, I'm gonna sit it down in this ring, and I'm
not gonna move until Vince McMahon comes down and gives me exactly what
the Rock has got. And I am willing to sit down here, on SmackDown!, for
the ENTIRE two hour period." Well, "No Chance in Hell" fires up and with
great irony I note the successful WWFE initial public offering and hereby
rechristen the chairman BILLIONAIRE VINCE. I'll mention here that I did
order my copy of "Have a Nice Day" but I probably won't get to it until
late next week. "What's the meaning of this?" "Well, I just wanna bring
out a little momento here...to see if you remember this." "Yeah, 'Rock
'n' Sock...' your jacket. You called me out here for that?" "Well I just
wanted to make mention of the fact that the whole time I wore this jacket
- did you realise that I KNEW that I'd look like a horse's ass in this
jacket? You know why I continued to wear it? Because I knew that it was
fun. And I wanted to provide fun on your television show. But it seems
that somewhere along the line, somebody forgot that underneath the Rock
'n' Sock Connection jacket, that I was the same man who won the WWF belt
THREE times. That I was the same man who wrestled with his tooth stuck up
his damn nose. And that I was the same man who wrestled with his ear
clean up his skull. And I want you to remember that underneath it all,
that maybe I don't have the little five hundred dollar shirts - maybe I
can't raise my stupid eyebrow - and maybe I don't have 329 catchphrases.
But I'm here to say that I am every bit as good as, if not better than, an
ingrateful son of a (beep) like the Rock. So, I don't want the Rock to
just waltz in and take what I feel is rightfully mine. I'm saying I want
what he's got - a title shot - and I'm willing to go here in this very
ring tonight on SmackDown!, beat the Rock's candy ass, and show the entire
world that *I* oughta be headlining pay-per-views from now on." "No
denying your credentials...no denying that. I just don't think that
tonight is the time or the place for you and the Great One to hook it up."
"Waitwaitwait, you don't think tonight's the time or the place? I think
that Louisville, Kentucky knows damn well [cheap heat] that this is the
EXACT time and the EXACT place for the Rock and Mankind to go toe to toe!
I think the problem is very simple: I think you've got a little guy, a
little insecure little man back there suffering from a sudden and acute
attack of non-testicular fortitude." "I don't think THAT'S the case,
but..." "If ya smelllllll...." and here's LA ROCA come out while Mankind
brandishes the jacket in his direction - then putting the jacket on.
Crowd chants "Rocky" as he walks to the ring. "You come out here and you
run your mouth. You run your mouth like you're a big shot, just like
you're the Rock, you come out here and you cry, p[beep]s and moan, 'oh,
I'm the man who won the WWF title three times! Oh, I'm the man who had
his tooth knocked in his nose! I'm the man who wrestled without an ear!'
Well the Rock says this - you run your mouth and you referred to the Rock
and his testicles? Well make something very clear, jabrone - these are
not any testicles - these are the People's testicles. Having said that,
the Rock says - you want the Rock tonight? You've got the Rock tonight -
so open your beady little eyes and read the Rock's lips, because tonight,
the Rock is gonna whup your fat ass." "I gotta make a little judgement
call on you - I say, underneath it all, I see a very insecure little boy.
So remember this: in case you're wondering, yes I do mean every damn word
I say about you in my book." Mankind's music plays and he removes his
jacket - then walks out on the floor next to the ramp, leaving Rock and
McMahon in the ring. "The Rock says cut that crappy music!" Is that like
"Simon Says?" "So let the Rock - don't go anywhere. Let the Rock
understand this correctly. The Rock is the ONLY #1 Contender competing in
the People's Ring tonight?" "Ah--ah, now I understand what you mean by
that, and it's a very fair question, but ... that was up to you - you came
out and accepted Mankind's challenge to see who was gonna be the #1
Contender. No one has challenged Stone Cold Steve Austin. If that were
the case, we might see action tonight, but--" and BALD VENIS' music fires
up - and there he is! Damn, they REALLY wanna elevate this guy, don't
they? "You know somethin' - unlike the Rock, I heard what you said
perfectly clear - that no one has come forward to challenge Stone Cold
Steve Austin. So Vince what I want you to do right now is I want you to
look deep into the eyes of THE single fastest up-and-coming athlete in the
history of the World Wrestling Federation, and consider the World
Wrestling Federation's toughest SOB challenged, here tonight on
SmackDown!" Almost immediately, the sound of breaking glass brings STONE
COLD STEVE AUSTIN to the ring. Huzzah for the World Entrance Federation!
To Austin's credit, instead of talking, he just lets loose with a right on
Venis - there's another - and one more. Rock and McMahon take off while
Venis rolls out of the ring to the floor. "That means, you stupid son of
a b(beep), 'oh, hell yeah.' I accept your little challenge, and that's the
bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so." Thus ends your stenography for
the night, I think. My hands HURT. Rock and Austin manage a staredown -
he from the top of the ramp, and he in the ring.
LILIAN GARCIA is backstage with Triple H - his reaction to all this is
that this must surely be the greatest SmackDown! of all time! All the #1
Contenders scratching and clawing while he sits back with the belt. Al
Snow interrupts things to ask if HE is wrestling tonight. Triple H
harangues Snow until he suggests that H have some of the medication that
they've got HIM on. Of course, I think can ALL see where this is heading.
Umm, right? Right?
Hey! An hour of Dilbert Tuesday! I wonder if I'll be awake that night.
Triple H catches up with Vince and asks him why the hell he just gave Al
Snow a title shot (Aha!) Vince asks him if he's worried that he can't
beat him - then wishes him luck. H says he not only DOESN'T need his good
luck, he doesn't need ANYTHING from him...
TEST v. BRITISH BULLDOG, again - Let Us Take You Back to RAW is WAR, where
Test and Bulldog and the Mean Street Posse - well, go read that report if
you missed it. Bulldog stops at the top of the ramp and calls out the
MEAN STREET POSSE. "Well, well, well - if it isn't the neutered dog and
his three b(beep)es - Davy, I know you didn't have the ba(beep)s to show
up and fight me by yourself - so I got a little surprise for you..." "You
think you know me..." But before EDGE & CHRISTIAN can get in the ring, a
nice quadruple-team beatdown is taking place in the ring. Well, now it's
a Pier Seven brawl - now everybody cleared out by the faces except Joey
Abs - Edge stays in with him as the bell rings. Looks like a six man -
Pete not on the apron. Abs pulled down by his ponytail. There's a double
hiptoss by Edge & Christian - Rodney in - flapjacked onto Abs. Here's a
Double Feature of an Edge missile dropkick I just missed. Christian over
the top rope when Pete "Gas" pulls it down. He and Rodney work over
Christian as referee "Blind" Tim White is busy keeping Edge & Test in
their corner. Abs on Christian back in the ring. Whip into the corner,
boots up - charge meets an elbow - clothesline ducked - nice belly-to-back
into a slam by Joey Abs. Rodney "tags" - tries a moonsault (?) but
misses. Tag to Test. Clothesline! Clothesline! Off the ropes,
reversed, head down - waistlock into a slam - Abs makes the save. Now it
all breaks down with everybody in the ring - Pete grabs Test's foot, and
then gets a hot shot on - Rodney to the top - but crotched by Edge.
Christian with something on Abs - Christian and Edge with the double
cringe piggyback superplex, followed by Test's Savage top-rope elbow.
White counts to 3 as Edge spears Abs for good measure. (2:44) Hmm, did
Bulldog do ANYTHING in that match?
Well it's the Big Show arriving in the arena - and WALKING!
Hoo boy there's a lotta ads here
Here's a nice exterior shot of HISTORIC Freedom Hall!
Kevin Kelly narrates a Special Video Look at the Big Show's turbulent past
few weeks - and Big Bossman's failure to empathize. On Monday, GTV showed
us Bossman paying off an actor to deliver fake news about his father's
death.
Lilian Garcia interviews Big Show - who tells us his father watched on
Monday. He's gonna dismember Bossman tonight.
KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands with Al Snow - after 17 years, he's finally
gotten his chance. He's gonna pull out every stop--oops, Triple H just
jumped him. Bye.
TREBLE H v. AL SNOW for the WWF Championship - hmm, strange not to see
Chyna with him, isn't it? Lawler says with Moolah, Chyna, and the Hollys
holding belts, how weird WOULD it be if Snow took the title tonight?
Snow fails to enter through the usual means, popping up from out of
nowhere and getting first attack. Punches in bunches, off the ropes with
a dropkick. Right, right, right, right, right, rifgh,t right, right,
right, right, right, Snow's been watching the film on Triple H I see.
There's a stomp - whip out of the corner is reversed, Snow slides to a
stop, gets up, H ducks a clothesline and hits his reverse neckbreaker that
he tries to do once a match these days. Separate shots show Austin and
the Rock watching the match on monitors. Meanwhile, H has taken Snow
outside the ring and had his way - pretty much. Back in the ring we go,
whip into the corner - Snow ducks a clothesline and hits an enzuigiri.
Both men up slowly - punches traded, more for Snow now - Helmsley laces
the arms and does his headbutts - count 'em - 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13,
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20!! Crowd doesn't know any numbers past ten, of
course, and is very confused. H passes out. I smell the patented Sting
headbutt to the crotch spot - thank you. Both men up at the same time.
Snow ducks a clothesline and hits a Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge
(or, if you're Michael Cole, "a tremendous manoeuvre) for 2. Backslide
from Snow for another 2. There's a small package - 2. Sunset flip - for
2. Snow kicks, right, off the ropes, head down so H comes back with his
facebuster. H to the top rope - Snow off the ropes to crotch him.
Right. Snow to the second rope - SUPERPLEX! Snow slow to cover - hooks
the leg - only 2. Snow signalling for the Snowplow - H slips away, however
- gutshot, Pedigree, 1, 2, 3. (4:22)
Hey look! It's Mankind! And....good God....he's WALKING!
After several ads - the Rock - the Rock - the Rock is WALKING!
Here's a Special Video Look at Rock & Mankind with special emphasis on
last Monday's events
LA ROCA v. MANKIND in a #1 Contender's Match - What I want to know is when
will the Rock FINALLY come back to Louisville? Rock promises a piece of
pie for Mankind - the People's Pie. I know everybody loves EVERY word
this guy says but this whole "pie" bit is LAME to me. Rock promises that
the slice of pie will come with three scoops of vanilla and be shoved
straight up his candyass after being shined up real nice - or words to
that effect. Mankind DOES have his mask on. Before the match begins,
BALD VENIS comes out to ... get a better look? Take a headset and join
the commentators? Maybe a little of both. Lockup, they spin around
against the ropes, and hit the counter. Mankind punches the head, then
the taped area of the ribs. Tape removed, and Mankind punches a bit more.
Rock manages a faceplant to turn the tide. Punches from Rock, punches
from Mankind. I guess this is a "controlled brawl." But now we're
outside and the "controlled" part is over. Venis reading random quotes
about the Rock from Foley's book. Over the barricade, and back - hit the
steps, hit the ramp - am I glossing? Perhaps. Mankind with a suplex on
the ramp. Rock's ribs hit the apron hard. Now they're outside the ring
again. Mankind with his patented running elbow off the apron to the floor
- we haven't seen that in a while! Mankind back in the ring and
encouraging referee "Blind" Mike Chioda to put on a count - I forgot we
HAD a countout rule here in the World Wrestling Federation! Chioda to 7 -
Rock walking around the ring to make sure Chioda says 9 before he gets in
- Mankind on him as he enters. Off the ropes, head down, swinging
neckbreaker for 2. Rock coming back with his crappy punches. Mankind
ties himself up in the ropes, Rock kicks and punches. Mankind manages to
come back. Scoop - and a slam. Don't tell me he's gonna do the People's
Elbow! Nope, he just stomps on the ribs. Man, Foley's the coolest mofo
on EARTH. Of course, in the time that he posed to the crowd, Rock manages
to come back with a gutshot and a DDT. When did Mankind's mask come off?
Oh well. 2 count for the Rock. Mankind gets a gutshot and DDT of his own
for 2. I wish Lawler would say "pie" one more time. Mankind with Socko -
Mandible Claw! Rock punches away and breaks the hold - then runs into the
Claw again. There's a kick to the 'nads by Rock to break it a second
time. Mankind clotheslines Rock over the top and both men tumble to the
floor - in front of the commentary table. Venis proclaims "this book
SUCKS!" and pastes Mankind with it. Oops. Chioda rings the bell. (DQ?
6:59) Wait a miute - if this is a DQ, does that mean Mankind became the
#1 Contender? Rock's back in the ring - there's Rock Bottom on Venis.
Rock stomping away on Venis - now a clothesline for Mankind. Before Rock
can put Mankind in Rock Bottom, TREBLE H is out and there's a Pedigree for
the Rock. H stands over Rock as his music plays. STILL no announcement
of the winner of this match. Cole says Rock is stll #1 Contender. Well
that makes NO sense. I mean, it does, but it doesn't. You know? Sounds
like they're short a couple writers over there!
Woof that's a lotta ads
TV-14-DLV box accompanies Earlier Today footage of Mae Young and Fabulous
Moolah doing some stretching to prepare for their title match tonight.
It's TV-14 because these sights could KILL puberty if you're under 14!
Later, both of them had to take a nap.
Lugz brings you the Boot of the Week - WHEN SENIORS COLLIDE! From RAW is
WAR Monday.
FABULOUS MOOLAH v. MAE YOUNG for the Women's Championship - this can only
end in tears. The challenger enters first, anyway. Young drags Moolah
into the ring to start. VERRRRY SLOWLY. There's a - well it's a left of
some sort, says Cole. Extremely ugly slingshot. Young with CROTCH CHOPS!
Unfortunately, that's not an offensive move - rather, it's an OFFENSIVE
move, but there's no offense in it. Moolah with both boots up. Right
hand. Hairpull takeover. Moolah with the choke. Lawler accuses the
match of being in slow motion. Young through the ropes to the outside.
The...very low...chase is on. Young on the commentary table - and pushed
over! Moolah grabs her hair and pulls her back. Back in the ring we go.
Young somehow gains control - it's not important how, I reckon. Young
climbs the ropes - verrry slowly. One Punch Count Along. Young
*inexplicably* reaches down the shirt of referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas
and gets tangled up with him. Moolah whips Young, who takes Korderas with
him. Moolah with - another one, I guess. Moolah with crotch chops of her
own. Finally we're rescued by IVORY who attacks Moolah (DQ 2:57) - man,
that three minutes felt like fifteen. Young tries to stop Ivory, but goes
down with one blow. Ivory poses with the title - now TORI is back in our
lives with a spear. Here's JACQUELINE. I'm guessing that - there's LUNA.
The standard complement of referees and officials break things up to a
hearty chorus of boos. It all ends with Moolah posing in the ring with
the title. Yeeha?
"Mark Henry's 5th Sex Therapy Session" is with...the Godfather. I think
they just put the kibosh on this storyline. So...what happens to the bit
about him sleeping with his sister?
Hey, there's an ad for the WWF Slam Cam! It appears to be not Mac
compatible, so I can't be bothered. I haven't seen a WWF toy ad this late
for.....well, a REALLY long time. I expect a note from Bob about this
tomorrow.
And now, the Bat Ass of the Week, brought to you by BATS! The...what?
Anyway, it's Howard Finkel mistiming a chair introduction into the ring.
Here's a look at the Big Show backstage - waiting for Bossman...
SmackDown! is brought to you tonight by Road Rash 64, Milk (got milk?) and
WWF: The Music (Volume 4) - coming 2 November to Sam Goody!
HARDYS (with Terri) v. HOLLYS (with Scale) for the tag team championship -
They're not the Brood anymore and they walk out like they were normal -
although they're still wearing the same stuff. Crash and Jeff start.
Lockup, arm wringer from Crash, kick, off the ropes, up and over,
shoulderblock from Jeff for 1. Kick, stomp, standing on the neck, Jeff
takes him off the rope but it's reversed, Jeff with a baseball slide to go
outside. Daring Crash to come after him, then flying up and over as HE
slides out - then hits a baseball slide dropkick on Crash. Hardcore
rushes and gets dumped. Matt with a double clothesline off the apron to
the floor. Matt holds up the Hollys for the somersault tope from Jeff.
Crash thrown back in the ring as we examine the Double Feature. There's a
2 on Crash. Blind tag, Hardcore in with a surprise clothesline on Matt.
On the shoulders, punching away - but landing in a hot shot on the top
rope. Hardcore with - was that an edit? Clubbing blow. Tag to Crash -
off the top rope with a fistdrop. Jeff distracted into the ring where
referee "Blind" Teddy Long turns his back. Sneaky doubleteam. But Matt
manages a double neckbreaker - and there's the hot tag to Jeff. Double
missile dropkick! Clothesline for Crash! Make-a-wish and a double
legdrop on the middle on Hardcore. Kick, scoop, drop, Matt with a top
rope legdrop for 2. Both men on Hardcore now - vertical suplex from Matt,
sentonbomb from Jeff, Crash makes the save. Crash into the corner - all
fours assisted leg lariat. They try the same doubleteam on Hardcore - but
he dropkicks Jeff as he's in the air. 1, 2, 3. (3:55) Boy, Terri sure
made a difference!! The replay shows that Jeff sold Hardcore's dropkick
like it was an Edge spear. On the entranceway, the NEW AGE OUTLAWS attack
from behind to remind us that they're still around and that this IS the
World Entrance Federation.
Backstage, Big Show is getting impatient - and ruining furniture
BIG BOSSMAN (with the Phony Cop) v. WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW for the Hardcore
Championship and the first name "Big" - Bossman enters through the crowd
and once again congratulates the actor on a job well done - then says that
hearing the Big Show cry is FUNNY! Anyway, Show comes out and even
though, it's two on one, they present little trouble. The actor tastes
THREE ahhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAMs while Bossman hightails it back through the
crowd. This isn't a match, I guess - it's under a minute anyway.
Road Dogg and Steve Austin share a moment backstage. Austin says Rock
must be calling the shots if he's got Venis - Dogg says there goes the
neighbourhood. Hey Dogg, you weren't exactly living in MainEventLand
yourself, there...
WWF Attitude for the Dreamcast? Hmmm....
GODFATHER (with ten - no, five ho's) v. VISCERA (with Mide-i-e-i-on) - the
Godfather's just a fun loving guy who loves to have fun. Before this
match starts, SEXUAL CHOCKLIT MIZARK HENRY is out and I guess with Venis'
heel turn, Godfather needs a new partner. If you think I'm doing
play-by-play on THIS match....although I must say everything Viscera does
is pretty damn impressive. And that Mideon does a pretty nice spit take
following the Ho Train. Henry scores the pin on Mideon following a ...
swimmin' splash? (1:29) Now THIS team is "Supply & Demand!"
Backstage, Venis paces around - rather like WALKING!
Meanwhile, Mankind is being checked by Dr. Francois Pettit
Meanwhile, the Rock is also pacing around
Meanwhile, Triple H is ALSO pacing around
Whew, too much - overload - must - sit through five minutes or so of ads
That Brut ad is kinda funny, ain't it
The Smack of the Night is brought to you by 1-800-COLLECT! And it is from
Earlier Tonight - Austin accepting Venis' challenge.
BALD VENIS v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in a #1 Contender's Match - Lockup,
to the corner, reversal, reversal, reversal, easy on that hair Austin!
There's a break and a double bird. Lockup, side headlock, Cole says
something that gets excised from the broadcast ("King, guess
what........................................") Venis with a right, right,
right, right, right, Austin reverses and lays in with rights of his own.
Off the ropes, shoulderblock from Venis. Off the ropes, Austin buries the
knee and Venis flips. Austin wearing two knee braces, what a sissy.
Austin stomping on the fingers. Into the corner, right hand, knee,
yanking on the arm, again, again, Venis reverses, Austin pokes the eye.
Into the corner they go - referee "Blind" Earl Hebner trying to force a
break but unsuccessful. Venis all over Austin with punches, then the
choke. Into the corner - Venis up and over - but Austin was just waiting
for the leap to finish. There's a double bird and several rights. Into
the opposite corner, reversal, clothesline. Right hand, clothesline to
take Austin over the top rope to the floor. Venis follows and takes
Austin to the barricade. Suplex on the floor. Head to the barricade,
right hand blocked and Austin punches back. But Venis manages a whip over
the barricade and then follows him out into the crowd. Now back over the
barricade. Head to the STEEL steps. FINALLY we're back in the ring.
Venis covers - but only 2. To the rear chinlock while sitting on the back
- there's a buttdrop for good measure. But Austin comes right back.
Venis to the eyes, elbow this way, elbow that way, off the ropes with the
knee but only 2. Venis goes for the headlock but Austin is coming back -
again a rake of the eyes from Venis. Off the ropes, reversal, sleeper
from Austin! Venis manages to reverse it into a sleeper of his own.
Austin repeatedly backs him into the corner until the hold is broken.
Off the ropes we go, Thesz press! Austin with rights. Off the ropes,
there's an elbow for 2. Off the ropes, reversal, Venis holds on and
delivers the knee immediarely afterward. Going for the side Russian
legsweep, Austin punches out. Off the ropes, Austin puts his head down
and gets a boot for his troubles. Austin manages a Stun gun and covers
for 2. Austin places Venis on the top turnbuckle. Austin going for a
superplex - Venis punching away - now shoving Austin off - double
axehandle from the top, to the head - 1, 2, no!! Right, out of the
corner, reversal, big boot up, Venis with a - reversal, though - Austin
takes Venis over the top to the floor. Austin comes out after and it's
time to say hello to the commentary table. Austin punching away. Head
taken back to the commentary table again. Camera cable around the neck.
Hebner pulling Austin off, then missing Venis taking a STEEL chair to the
bad knee. (Which one's bad again?) In the ring - Venis going for a
figure four? But Austin punches him and it doesn't happen. Now they're
trading blows - now Austin is hitting more blows - now there's the double
bird, clothesline ducked, gutshot, Stunner, 1, 2, 3. (9:57) Huh.
TREBLE H is out and on Austin - PEDIGREE! Now LA ROCA is out and there's
Rock Bottom on the Champ. We follow Rock up the ramp - I bet Mankind is
up from behind... Hmm, I guess I'm wrong. Austin clears the ring of
Helmsley. As the Rock's music plays, Rock stands at the top of the ramp,
Austin in the ring. Their eyes are locked. And so it stands until
Monday. SEE YA!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net