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/29 May 2000

WCW Nitro




QUICK QUOTES: AOL 48 1/2 (- 3 1/2), TWX 72 1/4 (- 3 7/8), SPLN 10 11/16 (- 2 1/4)

Hey, you know I actually have a Ssgt. Barry Sadler 45...oh, you probably weren't interested in that.




WCW logo

"Highlights" from Thunder - Rated TV-14-DL - and close captioned

A limousine arrives...and Ric Flair gets out - and so does Beth - until Ric tells her to stay put. Reid mouths off to his mother as well! Beth and Reid get back in...but almost instantaneously, R&B Security appear, storm the limo and kidnap Beth, Reid and the driver. Vince Russo - he's the one with the sleeves cut off his shirt - welcomes Beth and Reid to Salt Lake City, and they all walk off...somehow, Ric seems to have JUST missed all this.

Opening graphic

Hit the pyro! WE ARE LIVE from the E Center in Salt Lake City, UT Memorial Day 2K on TNT, thirteen days away from the Great American Bash, and the first names mentioned in the hype are Bischoff and Russo, so you KNOW it's WCW!

KEVIN NASH, who is the current WCW Champion and may very well be for at least the next two hours, makes his way to the ring. He's in an FUNB shirt...and he's got something to say! Well, no, not yet. Here comes SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER along with his hooches. Steiner allows his women to hug Nash, who provides us with a trademark shit-eatin' grin. Oh boy! "First off...I just wanna give a little thanks to Big Poppa Pump for helpin' me out on Thunder. Y'know eight weeks ago, Bischoff and Russo said that they were systematically gonna eliminate the Millionaires. And if you looked at it, Luger's got a destoyed face, Diamond Dallas Page's personal and his professional life is being controlled by Eric Bischoff...Hulk's gotta retirement match at the Great American Bash - they got Vam-pie-ro wantin' to set Sting on fire in thirteen days...and then you got MOI, Kevin Nash. Well, Russo, Bischoff - I guess things didn't follow plan when it came to me, now, did it? And you SURE as hell didn't think Big Poppa Pump was an ally. You know, I'd like to get my hands around your neck, Russo - Poppa Pump would like to get his hands around your neck. There's a buddy of mine sittin' at home in Orlando by the name of Scott Hall...whose gettin' healthier by the day, and I know for a fact since I talked to him last night, he wants to get a piece of you real bad. You see, New Blood, Russo, Bischoff - the reason these guys are legends is because they've seen it all, they've heard it all, but most importantly, they've dealt with it all before. The reason they're still here is that: they are legends. If ya wanna little proof o' how hard it is to kill a legend, well...let me show you just that, JACK..." Here comes THE MAN, who's all chummy with everyone in the ring. "Russo! This is gotta have you thinkin' overtime, pal! Big Sexy - Big Poppa Pump - and the Nature Boy - in one ring - woooo! - at the same time! That's a problem for the WORLD! Fourteen days ago, my career, God only knows why, was sky high, I went down - medical reasons unknown - doesn't matter - what has transpired is not gonna keep happenin'. Thank you. David - David! Look around, pal - your dad is in the building tonight - you haven't got Double A behind you, you got nobody, you got life - woooo! You got it. Here's the way it goes - David, at the Great American Bash, your wrestling career will come to a quiet end. Russo, you tried to bury me, last week, bury me, forget it pal, when I die, woooo! They'll bury me quick, spread a bucket o' honey around m-- woooo! You got it? Get it! Russo! Tonight - some way, some how, I'm gonna find you, and drag your skinny little New York ass out here and stomp it through the mat, woooo! in Salt Lake City...woooo!" "Nature a little present for ya, my man. I've thought about this long and hard - you never lost this belt. It don't feel right being a champion that--has got a belt in his hand, as far as I'm concerned...'til you lose this belt, Nature Boy, this belt's yours." Wow, who had eleven minutes in the pool? Nash and Flair do the "Wonder Twin powers" fist touch, hug, then the hooches hug Flair, and now JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET is out. "Wait a minute! Wait just a damn minute! Where am I? Am I on the wrong set? What is this, The View? Because all I'm seeing is a bunch of self-serving women! Nash - Flair- Steiner - is this all that's left? Is this display of patheticness what we've broken you down to? The fact's you three against the world, and I don't like your damn odds one damn bit. So Nash, let's start with you first. I got a little message from Russo. Tonight, it's gonna be you against Rick Steiner AND Tank Abbott, a little handicap style - and Big Poppa Rump, if you come within five feet of that ring, you and Nash will be cleaning Russo's toilets next week, because don't forget it - he owns your ass." "You know, Jeff Jarrett, and you can tell Mr. Russo, in my opinion, talking your problems out is way overrated. See, even when my freaks gotta let-get outta line, I gotta slap 'em. So what you can do, and Russo can do, to settle our differences - come down to this ring, right now, bend over, and (kiss my) ass." Why'd they censor...oh well. "Nonononono, screw you slapass Steiner. I'm the man with all the stroke around this place! So Flair, Nature Boy, this brings me to you. You are the champ, right? Well, good. Because tonight, it's gonna be me and you in that ring. And tonight is the night that I bring the belt back around the Chosen One's waist - so why don't you choke on that, Jurassic slapass." "Jarrett, in case you missed my view a minute ago, I said I was standing - woooo! - in the ring with Big Sexy and Big Poppa Pump, and I believe Big Poppa just told you to (kiss his) ass, so pal, if I'm the champion, and I'm standing here, I don't gotta wrestle nobody, brother - woooo! I'm off tonight - ask them. Woooo!" Flair is the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE. But, oh no, VIC VENOM is out to join the party.



"You know, Ric...I warned you, Ric. I told you if you stepped one foot in my house tonight that you were gonna wish you had a brain anyeurism. Ric, you need to remember one thing. I will always stay one step ahead of you. Isn't that right, David?" DAVID FLAIR brings out BETH & REID FLEIHR, one under each arm. Ric takes off almost immediately, and catches them, but for the instant buffer of R&B SECURITY, who go down quickly to Flair - and Nash and Steiner. And now we're all back behind the curtain. Play the Wolfpac theme again!

Backstage, a gasoline tanker pulls up. Oh, no, that's just Vampiro's ride.

When we come back, Jarrett has Beth, David has Reid, and Russo is shouting a lot.

Elsewhere, Ric Flair is WALKING! And looking for Russo. Ahhhh....the trademark "guy walking around looking for some other guy" spot goes to Flair this week.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by 1-800-COL-LECT!

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE, SCOTT HUDSON and....lookit that WWF sign behind the commentators!

DISCO INFERNO (with Konnan, Raymond Stereo, and de Juice) v. LT. LOCO (with Capt. Rection, Mjr. Stash, and Cpl. Cajun - and Mjr. Gunns) - tonight, aside from the aforementioned handicap match, there'll be a US title match in the Asylum - Steiner v. Douglas. Sting will take on Billy Kidman. Inferno wears a Pippen jersey and flubs all the lines, while Konnan, wearing a bandage around his arm, translates into G. "Where all mah dogs?" "Nah, 'that's where mah dogs at?'" Inferno tries "'it's all swell," then dusts off the old chestnut "tushy kickin'." I think the challenge was for GI Bro, but we don't see him - the MIA have some new pyro - or smoke - whatever. Loco tries the tope into the ring and hits - chop, into the ropes, gutshot, exploder, into the ropes, Disco holds on and gets out - Loco leaps onto the pile with a plancha off the top to the floor. The MIA roll Inferno back in. Loco back in the ring - Inferno manages a hot shot. Cobra clutch - into a side Russian legsweep - the WHOOSH logo tells us that the GAB is 13 Days Away. Inferno tosses Loco out to the Filthy Animals, who stomp away before putting him back in the ring. Scoop - and a slam. Second rope forearm misses - Thesz press by Loco, standing dropkick, Inferno out on the ramp - the MIA over and Inferno tries to fight his way out of it. Meantime, Mysterio is in the ring working over Loco - got him set up for the bronco buster, but Gunns is over and something SEXY'S gonna happen! Yup, the shirt comes off - then she kicks him in the nuts. Somehow, Inferno ends up back in the ring (why bother to show us THAT? No breasts are involved) and one tornado DDT later, this match is over. (2:50) Serves me right for daring to call play-by-play, I guess. For an encore, NITRO GRRL TYGRESS is out to check on little Rey, then comes in the ring, pulls Gunns down by the hair and there's a catfight...sort of. The MIA, the Animals, and some more refs attempt to break things up, but we cut to

PAMELA PAULSHOCK stands with Vampiro, who says only the sinners are gonna burn in hell. Then he promises there will be a fire here tonight, and it'll be all Sting's fault. Before we nod off, Kronic enter the picture beating up Horace...which works until Chuck Palumbo and Shawn Stasiak come in from behind and beat up THEM.

Meanwhile, Miss Hancock is WALKING! But why does Madden want to smoke weed and watch Kevin Smith movies?

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (no Savage), Aqua Velva's Ice Sport, Super Soaker, America (ha!) Online, and Motel 6 7/8 - hooray! No damn Boston Market ads!

YES! SHAFT! I CAN dig it!



Close captioning on TNT where available sponsored by Meineke discount muffler shops! Or so said Tony.

Here's a Special Video Look at Kidman and Hogan - by way of advertising the Great American Bash, Sunday 11 June...

MISS HANCOCK walks to the ring to talk. "Now...I know that you all probably think that I'm a stick in the mud. Well, I'm here to tell each and every guy in this building that I know how to let my hair down and have a good time - so hit my music." Madden talks about smoking weed again - I'm SO confused. Before she gets to finish stripping, the music of CHRIS CANDIDO interrupts and here he comes.

Backstage, David Flair, watching this on a monitor, tells Russo he's gotta go. Then he leaves Russo alone with Beth and would think with the numbers on his side, they'd punk him out and take off, but instead we get Russo tell them to "both o' ya'z keep your mouth shut."

Back to the ring, Candido: "You know, there's about ten, fifteen girls back there, including you, that don't like, care about, or know a damn bit about this business. And the only one that does tried to make the best of a bad situation last week, and make a business deal with you. Well, honey, don't stick your ass in my spotlight again, the next time that you do, I might not be so damn nice" and then he grabs her by the hair...but because we don't ever do anything to women, he just kinda drops her to the mat so DAVID FLAIR can come in and start trading punches with him. Commentators act all confused, 'cause they don't know that *this is a shoot, baby* and David and Skye are real-life fiancees and shit, and it's a SHOOT and that's why it's so cool, 'cause it's a SHOOT, well anyway THE MAN is out and on *David*. R&B SECURITY come out about three seconds later - of course, they attack black ninja style, so Flair chops 'em ALL down. David takes off with Hancock while this happens - Ric follows them shortly thereafter. Commentators are still confused, and wonder what Daffney thinks of this. What a mess.

Kimberly makes an "Oscar" entrance surrounded by paparazzi. She asks that she not be referred to as "Mrs. Page" but as Kimberly from now on. There's a red carpet on the sidewalk. I've been told that Kimberly is a great actress...but unfortunately, I still don't believe it.

Friday, Kimberly orders somebody around - toss DDP's stuff, but not her stuff. Check.

WOW! DONNY OSMOND in the front row!

BOO! KARL MALONE in the front row!

By an astonishing coincidence, Bret Hart and Karl Malone will guest on the Donny & Marie show.

GI BRO hits the ring. He has three things to say - one, he went back to GI Bro 'cause he came in as GI Bro. Surprised, he didn't call himself Kole - or was he Kane? I forget. Second, he challenges Shawn Stasiak to a Boot Camp match at Great American Bash. Does that make you want to spend money? Third, Awesome Mike Awesome may have tried to take him out at the 27 April Thunder, but he didn't get the job done. He challenges him tonight - he'll take HIM out, instead.

GI BRO v. AWESOME MIKE AWESOME - Awesome backs that ambulance up - then removes a table from the back of it. Tony feels he must make mention of David Flair rescuing Miss Hancock once again - oh, the pain and torment that comes from not knowing when it's a SHOOT. Awesome also brings the Pitbull #1 gear (or...the "hey low"), almost sliding it all the way off the ramp, but catching it just in the nick of time with quite a dive. Do we not have opening bells anymore? WHOOSH - 13! Bro meets him on the ramp and we're off. Awful shoulderblock as Awesome comes in. Awesome bomb is better. Meeting the dropkick as he comes off the top rope is not. Man, this whole thing is ugly, ugly, ugly. Off the ropes, Bro tries to wound himself on a leapfrog. I guess Awesome can't duck low or something. Bro comes back - axe kick. Thrown out to the raised entrance ramp - they walk out a bit - Awesome comes back with a halo shot.



Oh, this is an ambulance match. Nice of them to tell us that. Ah, here's the run-in - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE with a chair, preventing a powerbomb. Page and Bro with a double uranage off the ramp and through a table. Hudson outright steals a line from Bobby Heenan - "Mike Awesome was 31 years old" - and I expect better from him. Awesome loaded into the ambulance. (2:44)

Backstage, Stasiak, Palumbo and Elizabeth watch on a monitor and make remarks. There's a knock at the door, but they blow it off. A piece of paper is slid under the door. "It's 4:19 - got a minute?" BWAAAAAAhahahahahahaha - see, it's a WEED joke! Kronic come in and beat up Palumbo and Stasiak. Elizabeth sneaks in a flexor shot on her way out. Gosh, I hope she doesn't get recaptured before the show's over!

Meanwhile, Bischoff, Kimberly, Kidman, Torrie, Horace and Cat are WALKING! Bischoff says something about Donny Osmond - I dunno

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan's Dodge Charger ARRIVES! Hogan tells the camera...and Bischoff.. that he's pissed off.

But that's not all - the Goldberg monster truck and another car pull up - oh, look, there's Goldberg. Wow, way to cram him in - the sixteenth person we've seen in the span of ninety seconds. That's SURE to have an impact. Geez...

Ric Flair still hasn't managed to find his wife and son.

Meanwhile, David and Miss Hancock are WALKING! But what's that about? It's gotta be A SHOOT

Goldberg and Scott Steiner are on the cover of the latest Sports Illustrated for Kids. Yup, there they are!

The theme of "NWO Monday Nitro" must mean that CRACKA EAZY-E is out. He's also got KIMBRRLY, THE NEW GODFATHER OF SOUL, BILLY KIDMAN, TORRIE SAMUDA and HORACE with him as we are told that the Nash/Steiner & Abbott handicap match will take place when RAW starts - err, I mean, at the top of the hour. Oh, and Goldberg will interfere. At the top of the hour. When RAW starts. Horace and Kidman part different ropes for Torrie - an action too subtle for our "top of the hour" commentators to notice - or point out - so I don't know why *I* would do it. After all, it's not MY job to get storylines over, is it. Bischoff talks and Cat echoes. Even Bischoff has to say "Ernest, would you PLEASE stop." Bischoff tells Hogan he doesn't have the guts to wear the red and yellow in this (or any other) ring. Bischoff has a parting gift for Hogan - it's the special guest referee. The special guest referee is....Horace. Horace. What, Savio Vega wasn't available? To his credit, they didn't hold off on THAT surprise until the pay-per-view, so let's give 'em snaps there. YOU KNOW WHO comes out, asks us to cut the damn music, gets muted on "shit," and promises that Kidman AND Horace will get their asses kicked, and after the July pay-per-view, he'll once again be the champion. Bischoff talks and Hogan says he's sick of his mouth...but before we get to see anything develop out of that...

Goldberg, who was apparently standing in place for around nine minutes, is now WALKING! Hudson: "YES!!!!!!!!" Schiavone: "Goldberg is WALKING!!! (to the building)"

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago when Hogan took everybody out with one punch apiece - well, I guess we didn't NEED to actually SEE that after all...

KEVIN NASH v. RICK WOOF WOOF & JOBBED TO DAVID ARQUETTE - Nash gets about thirteen seconds of entrance before being jumped from behind - Steiner is immediately shoved off the ramp to the floor - Abbott is shoved back until Steiner re-emerges with a pipe wrench, which KO's Nash. Nash dragged into the ring where the opening bell sounds. Doubleteam stomp/punchdown. Crowd chants "Goldberg" (I think).



Strangely enough, around twenty seconds after the hour, the music fires up and COLD BEER power walks out. In a shocking display of chickenheartedness, referee "Blind" Mark Johnson calls for the bell before any interference even takes place! (relaxed DQ 1:21) Spear and jackhammer for Steiner. Abbott heads for the hills. RING THE BELL A MILLION TIMES! Goldberg offers a hand to Nash - "Kev, Kev, it's me...Bill! Remember when I lovingly brushed aside your hair?" Sure enough, they hug. Hudson: "Oh God, it's a new day in WCW!" Goldberg has THE STICK: "You know what, Tank? I've been sittin' at home listening to you run your filthy mouth week after week. But tonight, things are a little bit different, 'cause I'm back. So understand this: tonight, the slaughter begins. And escape is no option. So, if you got the balls to show up next Monday night, in my backyard, Atlanta - your ass is next!" Tank gives us a Neidhart-esque tug of his beard - and laughs. The big heel colour commentator likes Goldberg? Replay of the spear. One more shot of Goldberg's back as he disappears behind the curtain. Good timing! Pan the crowd. Tony: "They're still - it's a state of disbelief - of excitement!" he said, as everybody was sitting down. Good timing! "It's almost like the seventh game of the World Series - but it is Nitro!"

Thunder ad features Nash winning the belt - oops, he's not even the champ anymore

Promotional consideration paid for by Aqua Velva's IceSport (again), Korn Nuts, Three Kings on pay-per-view, ducks with mohawks chewing Bubble Yum, and Ice Sport from Aqua Velva (a third time)

Replay of Goldberg's spear and jackhammer....and tender embrace with Big Sexy.

Pamela Paulshock tried to interview Goldberg but he won't stop WALKING! He climbs into his car (Tony says it's a Viper - okay) and they drive off

Meanwhile, Eric Bischoff does some giant ranting and kicks over some furniture - hey, he's doing his Pat Patterson impersonation!

Another look at our commentators. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, TUBBY! presents "Reload" - from the fine folks who brought you "WCW Rules!" every night

TERRY FUNK v. ? for the World Hardcore Title - Funk says Bischoff has a surprise opponent for him - he doesn't care who it is; in fact, he's gonna walk back there and put a foot in his butt! Well, the mystery opponent is JOBBIN' VAMPIRO - they meet out on the ramp. Piledriver by Funk - referee "Blind" Jamie Techer is too slow to get over so Vampiro kicks out. Vampiro comes back with his Nail in the Coffin on the ramp - then he puts out Techer with the same move. Now they're going backstage. Funk put through a table - a Reload guy eats it - looks like Ed Ferrara goes down - Funk with a garbage can. Funk with a pole - Vampiro put across some catering - coffee urn misses - Funk put through THAT table - next referee "Blind" Billy Silverman avoids Vampiro.




Funk's head put in a chair. Something gets muted. Near the production truck - will they go inside? Nope - Vampiro falls through a table. Funk put into a semi grill - a big plastic thing thrown at Funk. Ahh, this is the gasoline truck. Funk put head first in the truck's side. Vampiro turns on the hose and puts gas on Funk...well, here's (THIS IS) STING to make the run-in. Sting turns off the hose while Vampiro goes for his blowtorch. DOUG DILLINJA & THE REAL (NOT R&B) SECURITY prevent anything from happening. "Hey Sting! I'll see you later, Sting!" Let's call it (no contest 5:19)

Meanwhile, Ric Flair is STILL looking for his family

Meanwhile, while Miss Hancock stands by, David Flair gives a shot to Reid...then tells his mother to shut up. Shane Douglas comes into the picture - at first, he's unhappy about having to face Steiner in the Asylum...but when he learns it's a US title match, he warms up to the assignment...

Jimmy Barron phones it in with 1-800-CAL-LATT - next Monday's Nitro is in Atlanta - PLEASE show up!

Steiner vs. Abbott for the US title - in the Asylum - at the Great American Bash! Wait...doesn't that give away the ending to the Steiner/Douglas match?

Friday, Diamond Dallas Page had a surprise waiting for him when he returned to his house - all his stuff out on the lawn, the locks changed, and two of Smyrna's finest ready to keep him from getting into the house! I don't know what's funnier - Page's sleeveless "Sopranos" T-shirt and Yankees cap (stolen from Russo?), the fact that he says "rib" a couple hundred times, Kimberly's INCREDIBLY poor acting, or the acting of the cops.

Back to live action...backstage, Mike Awesome (having once again managed a miraculous ambulance recovery) asks Kimberly for a little advice for his match with Page at the Great American Bash. Kimberly bitches about his pyro instead. Chuck Palumbo tells Kimberly that he lost Elizabeth and he's really screwed. Kimberly wants to know what this has to do with her - Palumbo says is she calls Elizabeth out to the ring, she's bound to show - AND Kim will get some TV time! Kimberly twirls her hair and decides this is a good idea, then asks "Mr. Sweaty Man" to come with her and provide backup.

Let Us Take You Back to Thunder where lotsa wacky stuff happened involving Elizabeth, Kimberly, and DDP. Strangely, we see more spanking in this clip than we did last Wednesday.

The "NWO Monday Nitro" theme plays again and here come KIMBRRLY, CHUCK PALUMBO and MR. SWEATY MAN. Hudson actually brings up the fact that Awesome was carted off by the ambulance not forty minutes ago. Crowd chants "slut" as Kimberly attempts to act. Did you notice that Kimberly's nipples stiffen up when she gets on THE STICK? This must be A SHOOT, BABY! Well, here's LIZ. "You know what, Kimberly? *Everybody's* sick of you - and they're sick of your lowlife friends, especially Bischoff and Russo! You wanted me out here? Well, I'm here. So what do you want?" Kimberly tells Awesome and Palumbo to get her. Geez, Elizabeth is pretty stupid this week. Kimberly berates Elizabeth for taking a bat to her last week. Liz sure seems kinda - extra shiny - tonight. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (in Pillman 2000" shirt - sleeveless) walks out - Kimberly leaves the ring - Page clears the ring of Palumbo and (Diamond Cutter for) Awesome. "DDP" chant. CRACKA EAZY-E appears with TWO COPS in tow - and has Page arrested for violating Kimberly's TRO.



Palumbo gets back in the ring, waffles the cops (!) with the flexor and gets a couple shots on Page - now THE NARCISSIST is out, wearing a "Test" model facemask and taking out Palumbo after ducking a flexor shot. Palumbo runs off - Liz and Luger leave to Luger's music. Wait, so you can attack cops and GET AWAY WITH IT now? Anyway, Awesome comes to, sees a 'cuffed Page on the mat, and starts stomping away. This brings KARL MALONE over the ramp - removes his shirt - and gives Awesome a Diamond Cutter. I LOVE happy endings!

Steiner and his women - are - WALKING!

Vampiro vs. Sting is hyped for Great American Bash

Pamela Paulshock attempts to grab Ric Flair as he walks by - he WILL give the title shot to Jarrett, but for now...he's looking for his wife, son and Russo.

SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER (With Midajah & Shakira) v. "THE FRANCHISE" SHANE DOUGLAS (by his damn self) in the Asylum for the United States Heavyweight Champion - "Now every week, I come out here with my two favourite freaks - 'cause it's no secret I'm just a genetic freak in heat. Now when I come out here and flaunt it, I know there's other freaks nationwide, wantin' - that dream up about gettin' up on it. But I'm gonna do something special for all you ladies here in Salt Lake City, because after THIS show, I'm gonna give you a chance to get it right at my freak show, and all you gotta do is separate your hips and put your ass out, and the Daddy will make you pass out. That's the Big Bad Booty Daddy! So this goes to all my freaks out there - Big Poppa Pump is your hookup - holler if ya hear me. Now Tank Abbott, at the Great American Bash, plain and simple, in the Asylum, I'm gonna kick your ass. Now Russo, you New York son of a bitch, you can put the Franchise out here tonight against me, 'cause I'm gonna kick his ass too. Now get your ass out here, Shane Douglas." Hey, this match ACTUALLY had a clean finish! My bad...all I did was time it. (Steiner recliner 2:28)

Sting - IS - WALKING!

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan - dressed in red and yellow - watches on the monitor - and says something I couldn't hear over the other noise



Ric Flair vs. David Flair - Billy Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan - Sting vs. Vampiro in a Johnny Storm match - Castrol GTX brings you the Great American Bash! Can you believe it? They're actually TELLING US THE CARD!! Kudos!

BILLY KIDMAN (with Torrie Samuda) v. (THIS IS) STING - Sting will make a Very Special Appearance at the Nitro Grill somewhere down the road. Commentators get really excited when Sting runs the ramp and leaps over the top rope - but I saw Awesome do that not an hour earlier. Torrie distracts referee "Blind" Billy Silverman just as Sting puts on the Scorpion Deathlock (a whole two minutes in, yet) - cueing the run-in of JOBBIN' VAMPIRO, who waffles Sting with his blowtorch and then puts Kidman on top for the cover and pin. (2:25) Ring the bell a million times! YOU KNOW WHO comes out and beats up both men handily (sigh) - CRACKA EAZY-E comes out with a chair - whack - Hogan doesn't feel it - as he readies the chair to give Bischoff a crack, the NEW GODFATHER OF SOUL hits a Feliner to the chair, to Hogan's head. HORACE is out as well, because it takes FIVE MEN to take down the mighty Hogan. They DO manage do take off the red and yellow shirt. A garbage can is filled with gasoline and the shirt is tossed on top. Vampiro is ready to put Sting's head in the fire, but out comes....KRONYKK? Hey, maybe if we just ring the bell some more, everything will turn out all right. Bryan, Brian and Hogan stand over Sting... Hey, you know there are people who will ACTUALLY try to convince you that Billy Kidman got elevated in this whole cluster finish because he actually got a pinfall. The only problem is, he was IMMEDIATELY beaten down by several OTHER faces - not the least of which was his PPV opponent - as well as the fact that the only reason he GOT the pin is because he had help on HIS side...oh, but yeah. He's REALLY getting elevated.

NEXT: Ric Flair is in his robe - and he's WALKING!

Meanwhile, Jarrett carries a gee-tar - and he's WALKING!

Ric Flair vs. David Flair hype for Great American Bash

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. THE MAN - Jarrett comes out with a special guest referee - DAVID FLAIR. Flair's in blue trunks and boots. Jarrett tries a sneak attack, Flair elbows, chops, chops, chops, right, chop, right, chop, right, into the corner, back elbow, a few steps in David's direction, and Jarrett comes back with an upperct to the throat. Right, right, right, right, Flair turns it around, but now we look to the entryway where VIC VENOM and R&B SECURITY bring out BETH & REID FLEIHR. Ric spots this and runs up the aisle, meeting Russo and taking him down just off camera - punching away on him but Jarrett is over from behind with rights. Jarrett tosses him to the floor - head to the barricade. We look back to the aisle as Russo and entourage continue where they left off.



Jarrett putting a chair to Flair. Crowd chants "Russo sux." Chair to Flair's head - is he blading there? Jarrett puts the edge of the chair on Flair's head. Flair rolled back in the ring - fistdrop, another, and another. Yeah, whoosh that logo out one more time - 13 days - gotcha. Choke on the second rope. We look at Beth instead of the action. Jarrett punching away on the bleeding forehead of Flair. Flair chops back. Right, chop, chop, snapmare, fifteen quick punches, gutshot for David (who was bringing in the Statue of Liberty), grabs the statue and whacks David with it. Jarrett from behind - Flair into the corner - FLAIR FLIP! And he falls out on the floor. Russo stands over him...but does nothing. Oh, THERE'S a bat to the back. Flair rolled back in. Figure four coming up. Of course, there's no ref, so I don't know how well this'll work. CHARLES ROBINSON is out as Flair's shoulders are down - 1....2....NO! Flair starts to fight it - but Russo is up on the apron - takes a right from Flair as Flair is on his way to grabbing the ropes. Jarrett breaks the hold, right, into the ropes, Flair with an inside cradle - 1, 2, no! Right by Jarrett, right, in the corner for a Ten Punch Count Along - Flair stops it at eight, atomic drop, Golota, "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine", again, chop, right, chop, right, into the opposite corner is reversed - FLAIR FLIP! Flair runs the apron, ducks a clothesline, hits one of his own - to the top rope - DOUBLE AXEHANDLE!!!!!! Russo on the apron, right hand for Russo! Tony: "Down goes Russo! Down goes Russo! Down goes Russo!" And the thing that I LOVED about this was that Tony was NOT going to let Madden get his smartass crack about Flair's move hitting for the first time since the first Starrcade out...and he was JUST DYING to say it to let everybody know how smart he was. Flair with a bit of a Fargo strut of his own. Knee to the upper thigh...but Jarrett kicks out of the figure four attempt, unfortunately sending Flair into Robinson. The various members of R&B Security get on the apron, but because they attack black ninja style, it's no problem for Flair to punch, chop, and punch them to the floor. Duck, chop, chop, Russo is getting the zebra shirt on the outside, snapmare, running kneedrop, woooo!, Russo in - face rake, chop, going for the figure four but David Flair hands Jarrett the gee-tar - KABONG. Jarrett covers - 1, 2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen, for the second time tonight, we have a new World Heavyweight Champion. (7:44) The ring quickly fills with litter - the R&B Security guys forve Reid to watch what's going on in the ring. Commentators all but okay the throwing of debris in the ring, sheesh. Jarrett, Russo and David Flair hightail it up the ring to avoid the flying garbage. We look back in the ring to see a shirtless Charles Robinson and bleeding Ric Flair - and now the Security folk bring back Beth & Reid to the ring...Ric manages to get up and chase after them - but this show's over.

AFTER THE FACT: Taylor Fielding from Ogden, UT send a quick on-site before I finished this one up: Chris:

A few words about Nitro in Salt Lake City last night--we saw a lot of the Nitro Girls and a little wrestling. I was beginning to wonder what I had bought tickets to -- a live soap opera with occassional wrestling? Everyone popped big time for Nash and Steiner at the first, but Flair got the biggest pop of the opening segment.

On a video tape of "Reload" from shown before the event, we were promised a catfight with Tammy. The Reload announce team said Tammy was in the building, and she had a score to settle with someone and would be calling her out for a cat fight. Well, we never saw Tammy or said catfight.

Goldberg returning in SLC was something that should have been predictable since his first win was in SLC about five years ago. I remember that match well--Goldberg was facing Hugh Morrus and Morrus hit the "laughing matter" moonsault but didn't go for the pin. We all figured it was over but then this guy is standing! He speared Morrus and put him in the Jackhammer -- all we could do was stand there with our mouths hangin' open and asking, "What was that move and holy shit, who the hell was that guy!?!"

When DDP was out and the cops appeared, a lot of people were chanting "rent-a-cop" since the guys weren't real cops. I don't know if they'll mute that out or not. By far the biggest pop of the evening was when Malone went into the ring and put the Diamond Cutter on Mike Awesome. The people I was with were joking about Donnie Osmond hitting the ring next. Although, that wouldn't be too bad of a gimmick match--David Arquette versus Donnie Osmond at the next PPV!

I didn't get to catch the replay of Nitro so I am looking forward to your review to see what made it on TV and what didn't.

Thanks for the reviews!

Thank YOU for YOUR take!

Back in 48!

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