/27 November 2000
THE PPV: In a
surprising flip-flop, *Scott* was right and *Rick* was
wrong. I know! I don't believe it either!
AWARDS: This is your LAST chance to let your voice be heard in the 2000 rec.sport.pro-wrestling awards! If you STILL haven't managed to get over to Usenet to figure out how to vote...well, I know better, but here's a URL for you. Click over to http://www.CRZ.net/wrestling/awards/2000/ to find the Web version. Remember, Rick won't tell you or I'll kill him, so you'd better write it down NOW! Ballots are due FRIDAY!
I GET LETTERS: Jeff Bidwell writes: CRZ...
My question first. I came across a tape today of the retirement video the WWF played for Foley back in February. In it, there was a shot of Foley, Austin and Undertaker toasting beers. While I'm not an avid PPV watcher, I can't for the life of me remember when that was, and when all three of them were faces at the same time. I was hoping you could help.
Now my comment, or rather short story. I work for the NBC station down here in Augusta, Georgia. "Lucky" me got free tickets to the Nitro/Thunder taping this past Monday. WCW said the showed started at 6:30. I figured they'd have dark matches, maybe tape some of the Thunder matches which didn't have to worry about Nitro continuity leading up to 8:00. I showed up at 7:30. I was 30 minutes late for the Nitro TAPING. Apparently the show started at 7pm, and then they just tape delayed it for an hour. Maybe I fell asleep for God knows how long, but I kind of figured when they scream LIVE every Monday night, they meant it.
I got home and told my girlfriend the story. She asked me if RAW was live at 9pm. I said yes, but hell, who knows? My entire belief system is down the drain now. Anyway, thought you might be interested to know that, although you're probably not.
Thanks for the help...Happy Thanksgiving...
I hadn't heard anything about this. Was anybody else at the taping, and can they confirm or deny? And, was anybody at TONIGHT'S taping who could let me know what if they did the same thing?
QUICK QUOTES: AOL 43.97 (- 3.12), TWX 65.87 (- 3.74 ... last year: 62 3/8), SPLN 8 3/4 (+ 1 13/16 ... last year: 48 1/16 - blame WrestleLine)
Funny, this isn't the WCW logo - it's the seal of the President of the
United States of America! Did TNT just get a news division?
As a "SPECIAL BULLETIN - BREAKING NEWS" crawl takes up the bottom of our screen, the camera pulls out to a lectern...and an unidentified, grey-haired fellow just walked in. "Thank you for coming, ladies and gentlemen. At long last, this national crisis is over. The votes are in, they've been tallied, confirmed, and reconfirmed. Finally, we have an answer as there is a clear cut winner. The man who will lead this country into the new millennium - ladies and gentlemen of the press, it pleases me to announce the next president of the United States of America..." he motions off camera, but from the other side, Jeff Jarrett appears...and gives him El Kabong. "There's ONE vote you forgot to count! Now choke on that, slapnut!" Funny, but ONE segment from WCW just *entertained* me more than an entire "Smack down your vote" campaign from the WWF...even if it *does* make me wonder if David McLane's been doing a little freelance consulting...
WCW logo - happy to be here
Stills from Mayhem cover the wins by Storm, Jarrett, the TV-14-DL ratings box, Goldberg...and Steiner.
Opening Credits - Close Captioned - Listen for David Penzer saying "We're Coming Live in Five...Four...Three..."
Hit the PYRO - we are POSSIBLY NOT LIVE from the Metro Center in Rockford, IL 27.11.2K and we've got new US, tag and World champs!
3 COUNT (already in the ring) v. CORP. CAJUN & LT. LOCO - Helms & Moore say something about something, but their mic's aren't up for half of it - not to mention I have the feeling we just MAY have heard it all before. Instead of hitting their music, the soulful tones of "Not Edwin K. Starr" greet the crowd instead as the MIA reps strut to the ring. 3 Count are all over them as they rush the ring - hmm, I missed that opening bell - ah, there it is. The Misfits take control and toss Helms - Cajun bodyslam on Moore, Boston Crab by Loco and Cajun dropkicks him in the face. Lariat for Helms as he tries to surprise them. Avalanche by Cajun on Helms. Chop by Loco on Moore. Sat on the second turnbuckle, dropkick in the face. "The Wedding Singer" airs Friday at 8! Cajun covers for 2. Stomp. "3 Count Sux!" Pound, elbow, into the ropes is reversed, Helms to the back, Rocker Dropper by Moore. 1, 2, Cajun kicks out. Tag as Moore backslides him for a second rope guilltoine by Helms. Blatant choke - now with the rope. In the corner, kick, into the opposite corner sternum first - and a superkick on his way out. Shot for Loco to distract referee "Blind" Charles Robinson as they doubleteam him with stompin' behind his back. Moore with elbows - into the corner is reversed, Cajun springs off the second rope with a face jam for him. HOT TAG! Loco clotheslines Helms, dropkicks Moore, duck, DDT Helms, cover, 1, 2, save. Cajun in with an elbow. Who's legal? Helms ducks a clothesline, Moore with a gutshot - double suplex - leg is hooked but Robinson is busy with Cajun...now Helms is pulled out of the ring - switch camera shots already! Ahh, it's JAIME KNOBLE, shoving him into a ladder held by OUTRAGEOUS EVAN KARAGIAS. With Helms out of the picture, they move the ladder to the ring - Moore dropkicks Knoble through the ropes, but...well, I think Karagias meant to seesaw it into his jaw, but it missed by roughly two miles - Moore sells it nonetheless, and staggers into a gutshot and brainbuster from Loco. 1, 2, 3. (4:12) Number of times somebody said "harder edge from the Misfits" during this match: a few thousand. Let's go straight to the ad break!
When we come back, Elix Skipper AGAIN tries to put some moves on Ms. Jones. Again, she denies him. Cat gives it to him, daring him to go on and TAKE his pride - an unseen Lance Storm spins him around and chairs him in the head. "That's why it's TEAM Canada!"
Courtesy WCW Magazine, here are some stills from last night's Caged Heat match
Your hosts include TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON. Just like Sting (who was *supposed* to have a title shot by winning the London Lethal Lottery), Booker T. is out injured and who knows WHEN we'll see him again. The veterans are back and hold the straps - we'll see Nash and Page later tonight...
To the ring we go, where GENE O. works tonight! His very special guest is the NEW WCW Heavyweight Champion of the World, OLD MESH HEAD MUSH MOUTH, who is accompanied by a mesh-dressed MIDAJAH. "You know, Mean Gene, I really appreciate all these fans standing up and giving me an ovation... but to be quite honest with you, when I walk down that aisle, you fans need
to close your eyes, get on your hands and knees, pucker up, and kiss
the champ's ass!" He takes the mic from Okerlund. "Now last night, I
proved that I only care about two things - my freaks and my peaks - and
when I put the hammer down on Booker T, I went back to my hotel room to a
chorus line of freaks, ALL horizontal and lookin' for satisfaction! And
there I was, standing there with nothin' on buy my boots and my belt, and
believe me, I sent sweet sensations up and down their spines all night long
until they called me the Big Bad Booty Daddy! And as I was in my sexual
sanctuary, I got my mind and my body re-energized, and I came here tonight
lookin' for a fight! But there's no Booker T in the back lookin' for a
rematch - there's no Sting, the #1 Contender, lookin' for a title match,
'cause I sent their both asses to the hospital! So I said 'who's left -
Goldberg?' Hell, Goldberg's still punch drunk from the last fight I was in
- whatever happened to the sayin' 'it's easier to get to the top than to
stay in there?' Not when you're me, when you take son of a bitches out!
So I came here tonight with no opponent 'cause they're all afraid, I
probably won't have one for a while - probably not even 'til Starrcade, so
I'm gonna give you fans a treat - get down on your knees, close your eyes,
pucker up, 'cause you're gonna get a chance to kiss the champ's ass!" Here
comes THE CEO
with CEO entrance video) to offer retort. "Scott
Steiner...congratulations! Let me be the first to tell you that as World
Heavyweight Champion, you are The Man. I told the wrestling world that
whoever walked out of Mayhem, be it you or Booker T, you would become the
flagship of this company, and that you are tonight. We are gonna build the
greatest wrestling company in the world around the greatest world champion
right now - that's Scott Steiner. But, Scott, I gotta explain somethin' to
you - along with all that notoriety comes responsibility, and a lot of
perks, but one of the perks is not the ability to call your own shot. I
have been on the phone all day long because I want you to prove again and
again that you are The Man, and I've got an opponent on his way here right
now - wooo! - in a Lear jet! To wrestle you at Starrcade - he's gonna come
out here and explain all about himself to you. Normally, I'd be walkin'
back there and I'd be sayin' 'good luck' to some poor kid walkin' down the
aisle to wrestle you - at Starrcade, I will knock on your dressing room
door and I'll say 'Champ, good luck to *you* tonight.'" "Whoa -
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa - who you got? Booker T? Sting, their asses in a
hospital! Andre the Giant, he's dead! Who, Steve Austin? When he was in
WCW, I kicked his ass! Booker T--and the Rock, he don't have the [balls]
to show up here, if you smellllllelelelelelllll what I'm cookin'!" "Let me
assure you that the gentleman coming tonight is in the same elite class as
those two - and at Starrcade, you'll find that out. Now, second thing on
the agenda, WCW World Heavyweight Champion, is conduct. It'd be very hard
for me to tell you how to win or lose based on my career - I did a lotta
things wrong, but as CEO, I'm gonna tell you right now - you're not gonna
run wild. Booker T is in the hospital right now...he may never wrestle
again 'cause o' you-- No no, whoa whoa whoa--" At this point,
BOOTY ALREADY is out and making a beeline for the
champ - Flair holds him
back, along with suddenly appearing refs and security. "What are you doing
out here? I just punked your brother's ass? What're you gonna do? I
retired your brother, you ain't got nothing to offer!" HE SAID FROOT
BOOTY!!!!!!! "Stevie Ray, you're just an announcer." "You wanna talk to
him, you can talk to him, but you're not making your own matches either.
This company's running on guidelines. If you wanna wrestle him, you talk
to him about it, we'll make a match, but it ain't gonna happen right now."
"If this sad sack ass froot booty [HE SAID IT AGAIN!] got the guts, punk,
do to me what you did to my brotha, you jacked up froot booty, I'm here to
come and kick yo ass tonight, punk!" "Stevie Ray, you're just a punkass
announcer! Whadda you got to offer me? Whadda you got to go against the
belt? You don't have nothin'! Tell you what - I'll tell you what - since
I ended your brother's career, how 'bout we do this...the world title
against your career." "No. You don't wanna do that, brother, don't even
think about that. You don't want that." "Flair...I want you to do your
job. You- I will put my career up against Scott Froot Booty Ass Steiner
tonight if he's got the guts. I want it right now tonight. We can do it
now, sucka!" "You don't have to do this." "I can't wait, it's gonna be a
pleasure to beat both you guys!" "I want it. I want it! You make it!"
"It ain't gonna happen now but if you wanna wrestle him for the world's
title tonight, the match will take place right here - Rockford, Illinois."
"Hey, hey hey hey - I just got one other thing to say - you always talkin'
about yo freaks - how you gon' feel when you be my 285 pound freak tonight
when I get through witch'yo punkass." If this is Stevie Ray's swan
song...well....at least they FINALLY let him say "froot booty" just one
Promotional consideration paid for by Crown Books' "I'm Next," Slim Jim, America (ha!) Online 6.0, Geico, Geico, Geico, Geico, tomato and Geico
When we come back, the Boogie Knights are hanging with the Kronik - you'd THINK Disqo would ask him where the other 90 seconds went, but no. He's still in excruciating agony and they need to know how much their services will cost tonight. They write down a price. Wright balks, as it's more than the last three times combined! Disqo says he can't afford it, and gets to steppin'. Shockingly, Kronik don't seem to mind too much. Let's see how they feel when they're JONEZIN
Meanwhile, PAMELA PAULSHOCK stands with the fully assembled MIA. Rection says they took the war to Team Canada and won, but they couldn't have done it without the fans. Rection turns his attention to Bam Bam Bigelow, who sold out his ass last night. Loco tells him to take no prisoners, and "by any means necessary." Rection says tonight we'll see what he's got.
(YUN) YANG (with Leia Meow, already in the ring) v. LANCE STORM (with Major Gunns and WCW Backstage Assault for the PlayStation) - a free public service to my friends at WCW - hell, to my friends at WWF as well: "Kwang" is a trademark of the WWF, and certain WCW announcers would probably be incredibly wise to STOP SAYING IT. "If I can be serious for a minute...I'm not out here to complain about what happened last night at Mayhem. ["USA!"]
I wrestled last night with four broken ribs...but that's
no excuse. The fact of the matter is everybody gets lucky EVENTUALLY.
Rection, this ain't over! Somewhere, somehow...I'm gonna getcha. But
right now, I need some respect - all rise for the playing of my Canadian
national anthem!" Anthem lasts (0:10) before Yang gets back
in the ring
and throws a forearm from behind. Into the ropes, reversed, Yang tries a
headscissors, but Storm seems unaware so Yang kinda turns it into a
twisting rollup for 2. Both men back up, Storm powers him into the ropes,
Yang slide under, hundred hands to the injured ribs, into the ropes,
reversal, hiptoss, but Yang lands on his feet...Storm ducks the clothesline
but not the dropkick. Running backflip kick. Duck, Yang ducks, but Storm
lands a superkick. Backbreaker across the knee gets 2. Field goal kick,
stomp, stomp, head to the buckle, "USA," Yang punches back but eats a knee.
Into the ropes, head down by Storm, sunset flip attempt by Yang, Storm
fights it but Yang headbutts him in the groin to finish it - 1, 2, no!
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine" by Yang, again, right, right, up and
down with the slam, off the ropes with the fist, 1, 2, NO! Storm manages a
jawbreaker. Yang up on his shoulders - but spinning off, another rollup
gets 2. Kick, into the corner, Storm up and over, but eating a back elbow
- Yang on top - beautiful moonsault! But he only gets 2! Into the ropes,
reversed, Gunns grabs Yang's ankle but doesn't appear to get a good grip,
but no matter - Storm has him set for a CRADLE PILEDRIVER! Meow is over
for our requisite catfight. Meanwhile, CAT is out. "Here, catch this
chair." "Whoops, I dropped it. Mind if I pick it up and hold it in front
of my face anyway?" "Sure, hey, why don't I cartwheel kick the chair into
your face since you've been so kind to fall for my little trap?" And so he
does. Yang rolls over and drapes an arm on him - referee "Blind" Billy
Silverman manages to turn around - 1, 2, 3! Yang pins
Storm! (3:20) Cat
and MZ. JONEZ get a good laugh. Hey Storm, remember when you had three
titles? You just lost to a Power Plant kid.
Promotional consideration paid for by Crown Books' "I'm Next" (again), America (again!) Online 6.0, "Toy Story 2," Mag-Lite and America (DAMMIT!) Online 6.0
When we come back, Storm and Gunns accost Skipper and Duggan, wondering where they were while the Cat was doin' all that interferin'. Looks like they were playing MAGIC! Duggan says he thought Storm could take care of him. "We're supposed to be a team, Jim!" Storm does all his yelling at Duggan, as he's the senior man.
Meanwhile, Stevie Ray assures the person on the other end of his cel phone that he "knows what he's doing."
Meanwhile, the Boogie Knights find the Harris Brothers. "Hey, Harris Boyz - wanna get back on TV?" They need a little favour..."how much?" Don: "Drink and a sandwich.." Ron: "You have to learn to negotiate, man!" Don: (thinks) "Two drinks and two sandwiches!" Ron: (slams laptop) Disqo: "You got a deal!"
THE NARCISSIST is all smiles and waves on his way to the ring. He's been watching his William Regal tapes! "Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you! This is a glorious moment for each and every one of us this evening...it's party time [hey, that's Blackman's line!] in World Championship Wrestling! Because this is the official announcement tonight of the end of Bill Goldberg's streak, the end of Goldberg's career here in World Championship Wrestling - thank you! Thank you! Please, please - you all can thank me later - I have something to say. This is the biggest announcement in the history of professional wrestling, and the crowning achievement for all the Total Package has accomplished in his career - better than world titles, better than world tag team titles, better than ... every single thing, US titles, bigger than the large homes I own, my huge financial portfolio...my expensive cars...all that means NOTHING to me in comparison to me, because I did a huge favour for professional wrestling last night at Mayhem, and I'm gonna get my justice! When Bill Goldberg viciously and maliciously speared poor Mickie Jay, a fully sanctioned referee for WCW, he committed THE mortal sin - he lost by disqualification, I did what I said I would do, and Bill Goldberg, you're outta wrestling, now I've appealed to Ric Flair, the CEO - he says he's restored law and order in WCW - he said he's gonna put some teeth back in the rulebook, well I've read the rulebook, and Goldberg, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE. The appeal has been officially made - I demand an answer tonight from CEO Ric Flair, he's assured me that it'll come down...and ladies and gentlemen, this is the crowning moment for the greatest, mesomorphic, physical specimen...the most intelligent athlete World Championship Wrestling has ever seen...this is the retirement party night of Bill Goldberg - THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Thank you! Thank you!" Thumbs up from Luger!
Outside the arena, a white limousine pulls up - could this be the man Ric Flair signed to face Steiner at Starrcade? Come back, won't you?
The following segment, a paid announcement from Jimmy Hart, has been
skipped for my sanity.
Gene O. stands with Jeff Jarrett...and gets muted. Tonight he's got Rey Mysterio Jr. and...the Filthy Animals are apparently throwing eggs at them. Offstage, "Oh, blow it out your ass, Okerlund!"
Meanwhile, Big Vito and his sister are WALKING! He leaves her alone...sure enough, Reno walks by and off they go, arm in arm... "I gotta talk to you..."
Here's a still of Goldberg spearing Jay...and Luger
JAIME KNOBLE & OUTRAGEOUS EVAN KARAGIAS v. BOOGIE KNIGHTS (with a bag of sandwiches) - "Achtung achtung! The Boogie Knights are in de HAUS! Shut up, you stupid American. And now, listen to my great partner and injured friend, Disqo." "You're probably wondering what's in the bag, and no, it's not a load of crap. Actually, it's the payment for our replacements tonight, so come out and get your payment, boys!" Here come the HARRYS BRYTHYRZ. Heavy D sits down for a gnosh as Big Ron joins Wright up on the apron - and Wright tags out. Karagias with a kick, right, right, right, into the ropes, shoulderblock by Harris. Scoop....and a slam. Tag to Wright. Cover...1, 2, Knoble kicks him in the head to save it. In the corner, knife-edge chop by Wright, right by Wright (HA!), into the opposite corner, belly-to-belly overhead release. Into the ropes, pressing him up, Karagias manages a dropkick. Wright is aghast, and tags out. Karagias decides to tag out as well. Lockup, Harris puts him down, into the corner, shoulder to the gut, ringing his bell, another shot to the head, opposite corner, boots up by Knoble, clothesline off the top rope...for 1, big boot by Harris. Wright wants the tag, and gets it. Cover, leg is hooked, Karagias saves after 2. Karagias with a springboard dropkick, then breaks into Driving the Cadillac while Knoble kicks away on Wright in the corner. Knoble over to Karagias, asking him to please consider getting back on track and helping him stomp a mudhole in his opponent. Wright manages to recover, but the double clothesline is ducked - double dropkick! NOW they both stomp on him. Harris in to join the fray - grabbing Knoble, into the ropes, charge sidestepped, Knoble up to try the Ten Punch Count Along...Harris tosses him at three. Clothesline ducked, picking him up, headscissors takeover by Knoble! Now Heavy D comes in, H bomb as Knoble comes off the ropes - meanwhile, referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker has managed to get Karagias back in his corner just in time for Wright to stagger over and make a cover, leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3. (2:55)
HEY! Nash and Page are WALKING!
"Our world is about to change...AGAIN. BLOOD RUNS COLDER. GLACIER: the Ice Age returns to WCW...again." This *COULD* have been really funny, except our commentary team just *falls all over themselves* to tell us how awful Glacier was and how they can't BELIEVE he's back, ruining any enjoyment you and I could have had by saying the very same things, only to find out later we had to eat our words because we were legitimately swerved by what they eventually DO serve up, which can't be anything BUT a joke NOW. Did that make sense? It's like when your parents tell you "This is gonna be cool" about something, and you think, well, MAYBE it COULD have been cool, but now because they TOLD you so, well there's just no WAY it'll be cool NOW. Even if it turns out that it IS. It was RUINED. Anyway....hopefully the commentators can just let the joke play out on its own without constantly feeling a need to tell us "hey, look! It's a joke!" or without me saying "well, what did we expect? This is WCW!" because, truth be told, tonight's show hasn't been all that bad. 'Course, we got an hour to go...
Another look at the limousine.
I don't know why, but we cut to taped comments from Ric Flair. "Hi, I'm Ric Flair, CEO of WCW. In light of Lex Luger's charges that Bill Goldberg be disqualified for spearing referee Mickie Jay last evening at Mayhem, which as we all know would have ended Bill's streak AND his career, I have made this official decision. I have been reviewing the tapes all day and weighing the options and this is what I saw. Under normal circumstances, Lex Luger would be correct - it would be a DQ. But what Lex Luger conveniently failed to mention is the fact that he pulled referee Mickie Jay in the way of the spear. If it wasn't for Luger, the referee wouldn't have been in harm's way. As a result, I have the grounds to DQ Lex Luger for putting his hands on a referee; however, like I've said in the past WCW is about winning and losing. I made that very clear to everyone last night. After talking to Bill Goldberg today, there's no way that Bill would like this match to end in a DQ, so I have made the following decision: at Starrcade, on December 17th, Lex Luger and Bill Goldberg will meet one last time to decide who is the winner. We will find out then if Bill Goldberg's streak will continue, or if his streak will come to an end. I'm Ric Flair, CEO of WCW. Thank you, and enjoy the show."
(with stills from Mayhem) and
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE come
out with a few minutes of self-serving crap regarding some guy just
arrested for driving while intoxicated again. HEY YO, I'M IN JAIL! "Theme
from Wolfpac" plays a second time....but it's MIKE SANDERS & MARK JINDRAK &
SEAN O'HAIRE. Sanders says something about people
sitting at home while
the NBT's were burning the house down, coattails and it's really not bad,
but I'm protesting this segment, so sorry. "At least Ric Flair knew when
to step aside and let the seasoned veterans [the NBT's] take over!"
Anyway, Sanders promises they'll get the belts back at Starrcade, Page says
"hey, why not now?" and so they rush the ring and...
INSIDERS v. MARK JINDRAK & SEAN O'HAIRE (with Mike Sanders) - Billy Silverman finds his way in the ring and the Pier Four erupts. Page and Jindrak end up outside, so we're down to two in the ring. Whip into the corner, O'Haire no-hands it up to the top rope, backflips off, laboured backhand to the gut (God, Nash sucks), kneelift (Nash sucks), right, right, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, right, right, left, O'Haire should just REALLY kick him - THAT'D get him to do a better selljob. Nash fires back with a right, kneelift, right, in the corner, knee, knee, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, clothesline, elbow, brush hair back (the ponytail is coming undone!), crotch chop for Jindrak, elbow for O'Haire, into the opposite corner, boot up by O'Haire, Nash falls back to his corner where Page is perched on the top rope, Page FALLS INTO THE RING (ha!) and completes his clothesline - 1, 2, kickout. O'Haire's trick knee acts up and he tags Jindrak, who says "THIS is a springboard clothesline, old man," and gets 2. Word on the street is Adam Sandler stars in "The Wedding Singer" on Friday! Blatant choke, then O'Haire give him a right while Silverman isn't looking. Stomp, stomp, stomp, tag. Doubleteam kicks - shoved into the corner - again - and one more. These guys must think they're Tazz and Raven - double clothesline puts Page down. "DDP" chant and TV-14-DL ratings box. Tag, right by O'Haire, kick by Jindrak, into the ropes, tilt-a-whirl tried, but Page hits a headscissors (yikes!), clothesline is ducked, clothesline HITS, 1, 2, O'Haire drops the elbow to break it up. Nash in, Nash and O'Haire outside and brawling. Diamond Cutter! 1, 2, Sanders pulls Silverman out - the problem with this spot is the ref inevitably hits the canvas a third time on his way out. Sanders with a right for Silverman - Nash over with a shot - set up for the truckstop powerbomb but PERFECT EVENT & RENO are out with a baseball bat. Page and Nash take heavy damage from the six Thrillers. Palumbo & Stasiak collect (steal) the belts on their way out. I guess we'll call it... (no contest 4:27)
Starrcade ad - hey, they stole the WWF PPV promo music! I cannot imagine!
Thunder ad - Jarrett's been edited in - hey, look! Stasiak was wearing his old WWF trunks!
Gene O. stands with Stevie Ray. "You know, Gene, I would do anything I have to to get my hands around that sad sack crackajack Scott Steiner's neck! Steiner! You gonna PAY for what you did to my brotha! And Gene, come Starrcade, he might not know WHO Ric Flair has in store for him. Can U dig what I'm sayin', sucka?"
RENO (with Mayhem
stills) v. COLD BEER (entrance
- So Reno
went all the way backstage with the Thrillers, just so he could get this
entrance now? OHHHHH...so we could see him make that "Rollin' the Dice"
*hand motion!* Ewww, there are entirely TOO MANY of Goldberg's bodily
fluids on display during this walk backstage... YIKES! Was that gum or a
SUPER LOOGIE? That'd make a FUN screen capture, wouldn't
-> pin 1:39) Post-match, THE NARCISSIST shows up,
thinks about it...then decides to sell it. Big chair in the gut. Big
chair across the back. Luger signals for it! BIG TORTURE RACK!! The ring
fills with refs and road agents...but Luger keeps that Rack on until HE'S
done. Then he walks off to his music. "Who's next now?"
See the stars of WCW while you still can! Tickets on sale now for Kearney, Lincoln for Nitro, Bossier City for Nitro and Starrcade in Washington!
Gene O. stands with the Filthy Animals - apparently, all is forgiven from the egg attack earlier in the show. Mysterio: "Was that Jeff Jarrett, Gene? We thought it was Gomer Pyle!" I think that's the highlight of this segment, even.
WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: TRIPPA B (with Mayhem stills) v. GEN. RECTION (with "WCW Backstage Assault" for the N64) - Rection wears a Hugh Morrus set of tights just to confuse me. Lockup, to the corner, they trade rights, Bigelow goes to the face. To the opposite corner, elbow sidestepped, Rection with an arm wringer. Snapmare takeover, legdrop on the arm. Arm wringer again...Bigelow to the eyes to break it. Chop. Head to the buckle. Into the opposite corner, chest bump, kick, kick, blatant choke. Elbow to the back of the head. Punch to the back, punch, snapmare, to the chinlock. Arm falls once, arm falls twice, will he go down in just over two minutes...oh, arm doesn't fall thrice. Crowd murmuring approval - Rection to his feet, elbowing out, elbow, but Bigelow connects with a knee to the gut. Hudson wonders if the US titleholder might be the #1 Contender. Into the ropes, duck, clothesline by Rection but nothing doing - another clothesline DOES put him down. Northern Lights suplex (!). Going upstairs...but the Savage elbow MISSES! Bigelow with a MONSTER powerbomb! Bigelow going outside...and looking under the ring. He's found a table! Set up outside the ring...but SGT. A-WALL comes out and pulls the table away. Bigelow sees this and lets go of Rection in order to badmouth him. Rection puts a knee in the back. Axehandle. Got him down...going up for No Laughing Matter - 1, 2, 3! (4:40)
Buff Bagwell carries the power of Lee M Cardholder's WCW MasterCard
Close captioning where available sponsored by Wizards of the Coast's WCW Nitro trading card game!
Gene O. catches up to Scott Steiner and Midajah. "See, Booker T, he LIED to the fans, he LIED to everybody! He said you'd have to KILL him to take the belt - pry his cold dead hands from the belt - he LIED! Stupidity obviously runs in the family, 'cause I ended Booker T's career - I'm gonna end Stevie Ray's career tonight!" Okerlund turns to Starrcade - has he heard anything? "I really don't give a damn who Flair picks, I'll tell you what - cameraman, follow me...follow me right now..." Steiner goes out to the limo [Hudson: "I've always wanted somebody to do this!"] and opens the door - who's in it? A woman, another woman, another woman, and so on...also M.I. Smooth with some protest. "Smooth - what's goin' on with these ugly bitches?" "This limo belongs to Mr. Nature Boy Ric Flair!" "That explains all the uglies comin' outta here." Smooth says he'll be happy to hook him up with a limo, but *this* one is for Flair. "So you're the one responsible..." "Yeah, I got the limo, it's mine--oof!" Steiner punks him out.
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. RAYMOND STEREO (with Konnan, Kidman, Tygryss & Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer" Friday at 8 on TNT!) - Jarrett says he's got a little prank for Konnan after he takes care of Mysterio...and Kidman best not even THINK about interfering. Mysterio right, right, right, into the ropes, leapfrog, Tygress trips Jarrett up, springboard bulldog by Mysterio, off the ropes with a legdrop for 2. Into the ropes, reversed, lariat by Jarrett. Stomp. Right. Into the opposite corner, but Mysterio gets a boot up...BUT he leaps into a powerslam. Konnan up on the apron and distracting referee "Blind" Charles Robinson...Jarrett over to complain - Kidman pulls his ankles, tripping him up...then holding him for a springboard guillotine by Mysterio. 1, 2, no! Into the opposite corner, Mysterio springs off the bottom rope...but ends up on the shoulder. Jarrett, seemingly without any idea of what to do with him...waits until Mysterio drops and shoves him into the corner - spinning heel kick as he comes out - singaling for the rough rider...but Jarrett gets a boot in the groin to counter it. Into the ropes, back elbow, Boss Man straddle. Kidman on the apron, ducking a right, holding him for Mysterio...Jarrett ducks but Mysterio stops himself in time...they run along for a double clothesline, which Jarrett ducks, but he falls to *Konnan's* clothesline right behind them! Robinson's just gonna let all this GO, though. Mysterio with a split-legged moonsault...but the knees are up! Jarrett chokes him on the second rope, RIGHT in front of the rest of the Animals. Going for another Boss Man straddle, but Kidman pulls him aside and Jarrett crotches himself. Springboard Thesz press! Right, right, right, quebrada, 1, 2, kickout!! Dropkick by Mysterio puts Jarrett in the corner - Konnan up on the apron to draw over Robinson while Kidman comes in - whip into a baseball slide by Kidman, Tygress in for HER broncobuster - Mysterio in behind her for the double. Into the ropes is reversed, Mysterio with the trademark spin, punch ducked, Jarrett dumps him onto the apron, head to the gut through the ropes, springing over to Jarrett who stops him...and DROPS him with a BIG BIG powerbomb. That's it! The Stroke is academic - 1, 2, Kidman and Konnan pull him out. Robinson misses it as Tygress jumps on the apron just in time. After a big doubleteam, they roll him back into the ring - Mysterio puts him in the ropes, reversal, brings him up, Mysterio head scissors him down. Mysterio outside as Jarrett grabs the gee-tar - springboard INTO THE KABONG. Of course, Robinson sees THAT. (relaxed DQ 4:29) Kidman in - ducks the clothesline and hits a sitout powerbomb. Konnan puts him in the ropes, tumblin' clothesline....Jarrett runs off. Mysterio is announced the winner - MAN that pretty much defied all logic.
WCW Magazine ad
When we come back, Paulshock stands with Jarrett, who says if they
want to play the numbers game, he'll have a six man tag for the Filthy
Animals on Thunder
WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE - STEVIE RAY v. AD BREAK
Scott Steiner and Midajah are WALKING!
Meanwhile, a black limousine pulls up outside...
Starrcade ad #2 - "You cannot imagine" - you know, given the past few outings, I'm starting to think I CAN
WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE - STEVIE RAY v. SCOTT STEINER (with Midajah) - title vs. career - I think the best thing we can pray for is a DQ win for the froot booty man. Steiner starts to jaw with fans, so Stevie runs up the aisle and punks him out from behind. Into the railing - into the railing again. Midajah looks ready to swing that lead pipe - and does. DQ WIN FOR STEVIE! Oh, wait, referee "Blind" Mark Johnson musta MISSED that somehow. Steiner puts him in the barricade. To the other side - forearm, forearm. Back to the OTHER barricade. Forearm across the back, knee, knee, knee, knee. Exchanging pleasantries with the fans. Rolled into the ring. Oh, NOW they ring the bell - gotcha. Ignore that last 74 seconds. Kick, forearm, right, mouth, right, right, right, right, right, words for Johnson. Forearm. Into the ropes, reversed, Stevie Ray with a bicycle kick! Steiner manages an atomic drop. Steinerline! Kiss the bicep elbowdrop. "Oh no no not yet!" as he does some pushups. Kick, kick, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, pose. Running kick to the face. Right. Wrapping the left arm around the top rope, knife-edge chop. Forearm to the back. Stevie Ray turns it around! Chop, right, right, right, kick to the groin by Steiner stops it. Tossing him through the ropes to the floor. Into the safety rail...sooo slooooowly. Chair to the gut, to the head, to the head, no DQ yet, Johnson? Rolled back into the ring...clubbing blow to the back, again, in the corner, kick, kick, wrapping the arm around the top rope, knife-edge chop, into the opposite corner, Ray ducks the charge, clubbing forearm to the back, knee in the back, waistlock...going for a belly-to-back suplex? Well, Steiner is elbowing out, so we may never know...elbow, elbow, elbow. Steiner with a belly-to-belly suplex. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, kickout! Off the ropes, stomp. Steiner picks him up and puts him in the corner - whip to the opposite corner - elbow up by Stevie Ray - standing side kick. Irish whip into the opposite corner, Steiner, reverses, Ray holds on - gutshot, DDT! Midajah holds the ankle, Stevie turns to face her...big mistake...Steiner over with a forearm to the back of the head. Another big forearm. Vertical suplex (sorta) - big backbreaker across the knee. "It's over!" Steiner perched on the second rope..."Get up you son of a bitch!" Then he says SOMETHING about a Book End, and sure enough Stevie Ray catches him and hits the Book End! Either he was taunting him or calling a spot, who can say. Ray slowly covers - 1, 2, Steiner gets a shoulder up! Into the ropes - Steiner forgets to catch the boot, so Stevie offers it again, Steiner swings it round and gives him the Steinerline. Is it Steiner's fault this match is sucking, or Stevie's? Or both? Ray goes outside - Steiner follows - whip into the barricade is reversed by Stevie Ray! Chair to the head! Back in the ring....Ray in control? Whip into the opposite corner - but Steiner gets the boot up. Blockbuster suplex. 1, 2, shoulder up! Steiner picks him up - into the ropes, head down, kick by Stevie Ray, pounding the back, SLAPJACK!! Not really covering...and only getting 1. Ready to go up to the top...but Midajah is up on the apron. Of course, Stevie watches HER...allowing Steiner to recover, get up under him, and drop him in the electric chair. Steiner says that's it...and clamps on the Steiner Recliner. And Stevie Ray....gives it up. Sigh. (6:55) But that's not Scott Steiner's music playing...it's SID VISCOUS come back to kill us all...oops, he only gets two seconds because we're out of time credits SEE YA!
First hour was great, but the second hour was...normal WCW.
But, gollly! Sid Vicious in the Starrcade main event?
You're watching BULL!