/4 December 2000
QUICK QUOTES: AOL 41.05 (- 2.92), TWX 61.60
year: 62 83/128), SPLN 7 5/8 (- 1
1/8 ... last year: 49 3/4 - blame WrestleLine)
EVERYTHING: was moved to the top of the RAW recap since nobody reads the Nitro report anymore. It's true! I have numbers that PROVES it!
This, of course, raises an interesting philosophical discussion. Did people stop reading because people stopped caring about WCW, or did they stop reading because *I* stopped caring about WCW?
Yeah, you don't have to tell me that's rather unfair - after all, the first hour of last week's show positively smoked! (Well, I'm probably romaniticising it, a bit given a week of space and a few hours extra at work, contributing to a spectacular case of sleep dep) The REAL question is: will TONIGHT'S show be more like last week's FIRST hour....or the SECOND?
We open the show with the TV-14-DL ratings box and shots of the
University of Nebraska - if you've ever spent any time in SoCal, you've
probably seen that old standby that shows up every year - the members of
the Cornhuskers think the "N" on their helmet stands for Knowledge.
Inside the stadium, a peppy lad clad in foam finger, red jumpsuit and corn
head says "Nebraska welcomes World Championship Wrestling - welcome to
Cornhusker country. Go Big Red! Go Big Red!" Jeff Jarrett Kabongs him.
"Choke on that....ya cornhuskin' slapnut!"
Close captioned logo - WCW logo - well, more like the first hour so far...
Clips of Thunder, Mayhem, Nitro, all at once
We see the Thrillers - and,when they see us, they start WALKING! Sanders asks (oh God) Oklahoma if it's cool...he asks if the security is in place. Sanders promises the Thrillers got his back.
Two minutes in, so why not take an ad break?
(Five minutes after) Opening Credits
HIT THE PYRO - WE ARE TAPE DELAYED from the Pershing Auditorium in Lincoln, NE on TNT 4.12.2K and the fireworks keep on coming...tonight, Jeff Jarrett takes on Konnan and the World title is on the line as Scott Steiner defends against General Rection!
As OKLAHOMA hits the ring with a punchbowl in hand, Tony shills a "Slapnuts" T-shirt on wcwgear.com.
I GET LETTERS: The infamous Dartmouth Dan Doomsday - or is it Elliot Ohlshansky? - writes: Chris,
Thought you might be interested to know that the song that Oklahoma enters to on tonight's Nitro is the Yale Boola, a traditional song at (you guessed it) Yale. And as you know, Yale is in the great state of Connecticut, home of a certain wrestling promotion that employs a certain prominent fan of the Oklahoma University Sooners. By the way, if you mention this in your recap, could you mention how much cooler Dartmouth is than Yale??
By the way, I think using Oklahoma here to build football-related heat was an excellent idea....it certainly got them to pop for the Ruler of the Squirrels...
"My name is Oklahoma....perhaps you didn't hear me, I said my name is Oklahoma." The camera finds some Nebraska clad fans who are booing. Our commentators all apparently decided that talking about college football would garner better ratings than wrestling.... Hudson: "It's only a two hour show, Oklahoma, for Pete's sake!" Tony: "Yeah, and I think he's only got six minutes for this segment!" "Go Big Red!" Is he gonna continue or what? "I send you warm greetings, and a heartfelt howdy from my boys, the NUMBER ONE TEAM in the N-C-double-A. I just brought this out here - I just want everyone to take a good long look at this, I want everyone to see this...everybody in this arena, even the people up in the cheap seats...and I want you to remember this for the rest of your live, because this is the closest anyone in Nebraska is gonna get to seein' a *bowl* this season! The truth hurts...but it's the by-God truth, now I came out here on official business tonight - Commissioner Mike Sanders has given me the authority to make an official statement with regards to one member of the WCW roster, and that's what I'm gonna do...and that one member of the roster that I am speaking about is that swolt up, jakked up box o' rocks Sid Vicious! Now, there's security every inch of this building, we have security in the back, and they are ready to pounce, so it is with every ounce of confidence I have that I make this statement from Mike Sanders..." Mute of the "Asshole" chant doesn't really work. "We can do this all night, ladies and gentlemen. The announcement is this...that Mike Sanders, the commissioner of WCW, has decreed that if Sid Vicious steps ONE INCH out of line, Security, the police, the national by-God guard if they have to will be all over him like white on rice. So, in conclusion, I leave you with this one thought, Cornhuskers...and I leave this thought to Sid Vicious and it's this: read my lips, Sid Vic---" But the lights go out and the music hits....this is SID VISCOUS. "Sid...you stay there -a security's comin' out! Security's comin' out here, Sid - Security - security - Sid, they're comin'. Sid, security is comin', they're comin' Sid, you don't wanna get in here. Sid, you're gonna get such heat if you come out here. Sid...I command you to stop - I command you to stop, Sid! Nononono, security, security...Sid, you don't wanna do this. Scott Steiner's over there!" Sid looks and Oklahoma turns to leave - Sid grabs him...chokeslam! Crowd treats Sid like royaltly. One more? "Whoa whoa whoa, hold it right there, big man, hold it right there." MIKE SANDERS leads the COPS to the ring. "Don't even think about it...son, you're about the get yourself made an example of tonight. You just stepped over the line. That's right - that's right, your ass is goin' to JAIL!" The cops reluctantly attempt to tell Sid that he's got no choice...Sid decides to give in, and offers his hands for the cuffs. "That's it...cuff him and stuff him. You laid your hands on a guest - you laid your hands on my guest here in WCW tonight - Ric Flair is layin' down law and order, and that is just unacceptable, so you know where you're going...Sid, it looks like you're SOL - you know what that means - quaaaak quak quak." The cops lead Sid off...we follow them backstage, out the doors. Crowd chant "You Suck." Sanders: "What did you say?" Vicious is loaded into a police SUV...and off they go.
Promotional consideration paid for by Crown Books' "I'm Next," America (ha!) Online 6.0, Slim Jim (Savage),
Geico, Geico and America (huh?)
When we come back, Scott Steiner and Midajah have arrived! Sanders wants to tell him what he's done, but Steiner's got no time for his stories. "You get Sid for me tonight!" Sanders: "Sid, tonight's gonna be a problem. Mr. Law and Order, Mr. CEO, Mr. Flair - he had Sid arrested not more than five minutes ago - handcuffs..." Steiner swings his pipe in anger. "You tell Flair - you tell everybody, *nobody's* safe...especially Flair!"
PAMELA PAULSHOCK stands with the Filthy Animals. Konnan challenges the country cranberries to a Filthy Animals Street Fight at Starrcade, so orale arriba la raza Starrcade. I think he actually said that!
Let Us Take You Back to Thunder, where Torrie Wilson suffered a money saving injury...and Lt. Loco's mood was about to change...
CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. (with Backstage Assault for PlayStation) v. KWEE-WEE (and Paisley) - He's back! Old name, old music...new attitude. Unfortunately, Allan Funk is still in his NEW persona...but using his old one as a split-personality, apparently, as the commentators surmise that Kwee-wee will have to "summon" Angry Allan in order to meet with success tonight. Chavo punks him out in mid-ropes-part-kiss and we're off and away. Head to the buckle. Right, Kwee-wee right, Chavo right, Kwee-wee right, Chavo right, right, elbow, chop, chop, Kwee-wee reverses, but Chavo goes to the gut, snapmare, kick to the back. Head to the buckle once again. Choke on the top rope. Starrcade is 13 days away. Springboard hot shot. Chop. Into the corner, back elbow up by Kwee-wee - Thesz press, piston-like rights. Why did referee "Born To Do It" Scott James dye his hair? Chavo to the gut, right, Kwee-wee right, right, whip is blocked, face rake, into the ropes by Guerrero, lariat, kick in the corner, kick, standing on the neck. Gutshot, into the ropes, head down, knee by Kwee-wee. Kwee-wee knee? Yeah. Dropkick. Into the corner, tilt-a-whirl as he comes out, 2 count. Into the ropes, Chavo floats over into a DDT. Chavo outside and motioning to Paisley - he's got a chair! But he's just going back into the ring instead...but Paisley steals away the chair before he can use it. Chavo turns to her to argue, so she slaps him - this stuns him enough to allow Kwee-wee to hit a springboard sunset flip - 1, 2, kickout! Clothesline ducked, Chavo hits a dropkick. Into the ropes, reversed, gutshot by Guerrero, dumped over the top to the floor. Guerrero out - whip into the safety rail. Knife-edge chop. Back in the ring...scoop is blocked. Kwee-wee DOES land a bodyslam. Running at Chavo, but he's dumped overhead onto the top turnbuckle. Gutshot, brainbuster (!) gets the 3. (3:58) Looks like Guerrero just got a new finisher...
Promotional consideration paid for by Crown Books' "I'm Next," "Toy Story 2" on VHS & DVD, America (THREE!) Online 6.0, Mag-Lite flashlights, and Slim Jim (they found another straitjacket for Savage in ten minutes?)
When we come back, Flair and Sanders have a chat backstage. "Give it to me one more time." "Okay, his exact words were something to the effect of 'if Sid's not back by the end of the night, nobody's safe.' He had a very special reference to YOUR name." "Is that right. Do you feel the need to look up there for help when you talk to me? Hey, this is your fault that Steiner's running around here crazy. Why'd you have Sid thrown in jail? That's beside the point, you don't have that kind of power. Here's the way it goes - Steiner doesn't have the nerve to jump on the CEO, at least I don't think he does. Enough people have been hurt. I'm gonna make sure of two things - number one, you bring security, number two I get back in that phone and get Sid out of jail in time, before the show's over, but just in case he's not, I'm beefin' up big security like I said before, you get 'em all and bring 'em to me right now." "I'm on it - I'm definitely on it." He mouths "Yeah, right" to the camera on his way out. "Thanks, commissioner...thanks."
Meanwhile, Bryan Clark is on the phone. "Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you sure that's the guy you want us to take out? Okay. If you got the money, we got no problems. We're all about discretion. All right, it's a done deal." DOES ANYONE ELSE SMELL IRONY - anyway, he turns to Adams. "You're not gonna believe who hired us for this job." "Who?" "Come on, I'll tell you all about it...it's gonna take some time." "Tell me..who?"
GENE O. works tonight! He stands with the three remaining Misfits.
Rection says that what happened to Torrie Wilson was an accident,
and everybody needs to know that's not what the MIA's are about. As far as
Chavo Guerrero goes, he's taking his attitude in a different direction, and
that's his problem right now. Tonight, he's earned the shot of a lifetime
- a shot at Steiner. This might be his only shot - with all the other
problems, Steiner needs to make sure that he doesn't overlook him
tonight...'cause he just MIGHT upset him and become WCW World Heavyweight
WCW WORLD HARDCORE TITLE: ELIX SKIPPER (with Team Canada & wcwgear.com Lance Storm T-shirt ad) v. CROWBAR (with Daffney Unger) - Storm: "If I can be serious for a minute...tonight, Prime Time does Team Canada proud. 'cause tonight, he captures the hardcore title and once again renames it the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title! And in honour of us great Canadian athletes, I want these American hardcore implements removed from ringside! As they're doing that, show us your respect and rise for the playing of the Canadian national anthem!" Tony doesn't even wait for it to start before talking over it. Anthem lasts all of (0:05) before the music of ...THE CAT (with Mz. Jonez)? What's he doing out here? Storm takes fourth headset. Cat is over to glare at the commentators...*he* wants a headset...but he settles for a mic. "Now, wait a minute - Lance Storm, you know I wanna beat yo ass all over this place - hey, you might wanna sit your Power Ranger lookin' ass down because I did not come out here to fight...I came out here to enjoy this match, okay? And that goes for you, too, my big friend." Cat takes a seat...and a headset is offered him. Well FINALLY the champion is out - Daffney has RATINGS on her cleavage and an arrow pointing to it underneath. Also, she carries....a magic wand. Crowbar decides to go under the ring and find some stashed stuff - a lot of car parts - also, he's got the golden wrench in his belt. But perhaps he should have kept an eye on Skipper - dropkick puts him on the floor. Skipper follows out, elbow, elbow, into the ring, NBA on TNT Wednesdays and Thursdays - Crowbar with a...bumper. In the corner, chop, chop, into the opposite corner, reversed, Crowbar dumps Skipper - backflip misses - but Skipper has the bumper - whack! Whack! Clothesline to the back of the neck. Spare dance legdrop - 1, 2, no. Crobwar rolls outside...and takes 2x4 shots from Duggan. Gunns with a slap as well. Of course, that brings Daffney over for the catfight spot. After Billy Silverman gets them separated, we take a break from this "action" to see Cat snap on The Mark - Storm is over to punk out *Cat*, and then he drags him to ringside, where Duggan is at the ready with the wood - but Cat steps aside and Storm takes the blow! Cat puts Duggan into the safety rail head first - if Heenan were there, he'd say "you'd think that wouldn't hurt him!" but he's not because WCW hates me. Cat throws some water on the commentators before leaving. Mind Bender on the grill - 1, 2, 3. They never cut minutes from the interviews when they can cut them from matches! The result: KUH-luster. (2:19)
The following is a paid announcement from Jimmy Hart - oh no it's not - lemme tell ya, even the people putting these things TOGETHER aren't even paying attention...otherwise they'd notice that their graphics say "IS A PAID PAID ANNOUNCEMENT" - the only sad thing about the WWF not buying WCW is we can't see Lawler punk out Hart yet again
Backstage, David Flair asks Stacey why she came back. "I didn't wanna lose you COMPLETELY, I just didn't wanna get married yet." She wants one favour - don't ask who the father is. "I'll tell you...just, just not yet." Ric Flair pops in to ask what they're doing around - then tells them he doesn't want them here without security with Steiner on the loose. He leaves two with them, and takes the rest...in THAT direction...
Meanwhile, Reno and Marie create some exposition for us - apparently, the family turned their back on Reno when he went into the joint. "Who needs Reno when you've got Vito around?" But all Marie wants...is her brother back.
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, and the continuing saga of Lex Luger and Bill Goldberg...
THE NARCISSIST comes to the ring carrying a copy of "I'm Next" - let's check the Goldberg/Luger graphic for Starrcade. I *hope* he reads from that book tonight! Lukewarm "Cold beer" chant. "Thank you, thank you very much! Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you for that very warm
reception, it means a lot - from the bottom of my heart, I feel the very
same way about each and every one of you. Thank you!" Wave. "You know,
this is a special request, this interview tonight, there's only thirteen
days left for big Bill Goldberg's career in WCW 'til Starrcade - the sands
of time are slipping away. Unless, of course, between now and then Bill
can win 150 matches - not even the glorious, magnaminous Bill Goldberg can
do that! Now I don't mean to talk behind Bill's back as I like to look him
in the eye face to face, but unfortunately, he's a little bit late to the
building, but rest assured, your big hero Bill is on his way and he will be
here tonight. Yep - Bill's a great guy, isn't he? But I wanna talk about
the man and the men that made in the building up of the tremendous
character, the tremendous development of the athlete, the superhuman, the
monster Bill Goldberg. A man that many of you might know, but he was a
behind the scenes guy who played an integral part in making Bill the
SUPERSTAR - just ask Bill in his book - the superstar Bill is today. His
name is Duane Bruce, aka affectionately known as Sarge in the Power Plant.
Sarge, I hear Bill probably got you tickets here tonight, would you please
stand up for the audience, please? Sarge, please stand up? Please?" We
look at SERGEANT BUDDY LEE
PARKER in the front row, who rises. "Thank you.
Sarge - let's have a big round of applause for Sarge! The man behind Bill
Goldberg. You're a credit to the industry, you really are, but no one can
describe Sarge better than Bill himself in his riveting, spellbinding book.
How 'bout a couple passages? Penzer, I need your hand for a second here
and hold the mic for me, please. Page 29, oh, you don't wanna miss this
please. This is a reference to Sarge. 'The head trainer there was a guy
by the name of Duane Bruce (our very special guest tonight) aka Sarge, and
he was a stern, authoritive, overbearing, short little son of a bitch who
packed a lot of punch. He was reminiscient (big word for Bill) of an Army
drill sergeant, and he put guys through hell.' Let's go to the next part
about the great Sarge here - Bill's such a great guy - 'Sarge doesn't get a
lot of credit (thank you, Bill) but he deserves it. I wouldn't be where I
am today without Duane Bruce, and I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't
for Sarge. He's a guy that has been there for me since day one, teaching
me not only about the wrestling part of the business, but about the
backstage part as well.' One more excerpt: 'Sarge is a guy I'll go out of
my way for anytime, because he's a great family man with a great work ethic
and he wants nothing more to succeed in the business and contribute. I
recall a number of times when Sarge, in more ways that one, was treated
unfairly. He has three kids, he works his ass off, and he's done for a
number of years. He's a very important person to the company.'
Gut-wrenching, heartwarming tribute from Bill Goldberg to the man who made
the monster, a special guest of honour here tonight, let's hear it one more
time for Sarge of the Power Plant, y'all have a great time tonight! Enjoy
the show, thank you!" WHAT A PAYOFF! Oh, wait, Luger asks that the music
be cut...maybe there's EVEN MORE to this segment. "I forgot one thing,
though - knowing the kind of guy Bill is...how FAIR Bill wants to treat
everyone, it's funny how Sarge here works 15 hours a day in a smelly,
rancid, putrid Power Plant with big sweaty guys learning how to wrestle,
makin' minimum wage - meanwhile, he's trying to support his family in a
three room SHACK, tin shack, a trailer (which I'm sure you're all familiar
with) in a trailer park, while Bill enjoys his Mercedes, Bill enjoys his
big houses, Bill enjoys his wonderful career...I'm sure Bill is such a
great guy, Sarge, 'cause you know what...if you did for Bill, for ME what
you did for him, you'd be here, right by my side sharing my glory as one of
the greatest wrestlers in the history of this sport. Because that's the
kinda guy *I* am - not Bill Goldberg - if I wear a Rolex, *you'd* be
wearing a Rolex - you wouldn't be explaining to your wife and children why
you live in a little tiny house and drive a dilapidated, beat-up car - no
sir, 'cause you'd be sittin' right next to me in my Mercedes or my Porsche.
So Sarge, enjoy your great ringside seats from...I'm pretty sure Goldberg
got those for you, didn't he? And in closing... ...the truth hurts, so you
can shut up and know the truth about Bill Goldberg. Because I would never
treat a friend of mine the way like he's treated the guys who made the
monster, Bill Goldberg. Thank you very much!"
Backstage, Luger has taken SO long to talk that Goldberg has arrived - AND HE'S WALKING!
When we come back, we're backstage again, where one of the Nitro Girls asks Norman Smiley who he's got tonight. "Bill Goldberg - he's undefeated, I just don't think if I can beat him..." Scott Steiner shows up. "Who ya got?" "Goldberg." "Goldberg?" He takes him out with the pipe. "Not anymore..."
Paulshock stands with the Franchise. "Hugh Morrus...you can deny it all you want. You can claim you didn't know it was Torrie Wilson on your back. What am I, some kind of a damn imbecile? Let me tell you something, Hugh Morrus, thanks to that so-called accident, I'm gonna make you suffer just like that sweet, innocent Torrie Wilson. I'm gonna lay your ass up in a hospital right next to her. You think you're in the fight of your life tonight against Steiner? Ho ho, I'm gonna show you what it's like to fight for your life, my friend, because each and every night until Starrcade, I will make you suffer - I'm gonna MAKE you fight for your life. I'll MAKE you look over your shoulder. You took something very near and dear to my heart, and so the gold and black attack at Starrcade will do the same to you. Kiss your US title GOODBYE."
Meanwhile, Rection tells A-Wall there's a lotta stuff they need to take care of....off in the distance, Chavo is talking to...Corporal Cajun. "Hey Lash, we got stuff we gotta do tonight...with or without him. Hey, Lash, I said now!" Lash goes to catch up with them, but Chavo pulls him back for one more word. "Hey Lash, NOW!"
I take it we're losing all the military names? Is that a grudging acceptance of the fact that it was a dumb idea? (No, no, see, it WORKED. Now that they're OVER, we can go back to their original names.) (That doesn't even make SENSE.) (Umm, let me try it again...)
Slapnuts T-shirt ad #2 - yikes
Ric Flair and the TV-14-DL ratings box are at the go position - Flair tells Arn Anderson and Fit Finlay that he doesn't want any shenanigans after the match - when they walk by after their match, they're sent home. He doesn't want Steiner taking anybody else out. Where was Flair for Smiley?
WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: 3 COUNT (with Triple Ladder Match graphic) v. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE and KEVIN NASH - At Starrcade, it's another triple ladder match - 3 Count vs. Jung Dragons (with Leia Meow) vs. Knoble and Karagias - the Kings of Pop say such in their nondescript promo.
Page's music starts - then stops, and some new music plays. YIKES
what a hatchet job. There's gotta be a BETTER way to do that. Anyway, why
bother with Page's new music because we still gotta play "Theme from
Wolfpac" and give these guys two entrances in one. I wonder what's on the
other channel. So does thta guy in the crowd with the "RAW JUST STARTED"
sign. Nash wants a test of strength...but Moore's a little short. Nash
with a knee to the distracted Moore - elbow to the back. In the corner,
knee, knee, right hand, standing on the neck. Nash's offense ... is ...
deliberate. "We want Hall!" chants the crowd. Too bad Hall's a CRIMINAL,
huh? Ten foot high hip toss. Tag to page. We look backstage where
Sanders and the Perfect Event are watching. Sanders is ready to set it off
- FEEL THE EXCITEMENT AND SNAP INTO IT - back to the ring where Helms has
been tagged in - into the corner, Page with the elbow, right, right, chop,
into the opposite corner, boot up by Helms, but Page ducks the clothesline
and floors him with one of his own. BANG! Into the ropes, dueling
hiptosses, knee by Helms, flippy flippy, Page's clothesline is ducked, knee
in the gut off the ropes, got him on the shoulder, three rotations, half
tombstone/half pancake - 1, 2, Moore with a springboard legdrop to make the
save. Tag to Helms. Pulls him back to his corner, tag, doubleteam
stomping. Tag to Moore. Double suplex. "DDP" chant. Helms hiptosses
Moore onto page - 1, 2, kickout. Into the ropes, reversed, back elbow by
Page and they're both down. Kicking away Moore, tag to Nash, right for
you, right for you, big boot for you, big boot for oyu, scoop...and snake
eyes for Helms. Moore in position as the straps go down...Helms going to
the top turnbuckle to stop him, but Page crotches HIM. Moore gets the
truckstop powerbomb - Helms gets a Diamond Cutter. Nash puts Helms on top
of Moore and covers them both. 1, 2, 3. (4:34) I hope they squash
up and coming team! The Wolfpac theme is cut short by "Theme from NBT's"
as MIKE SANDERS & PERFECT
EVENT come out. "That performance was absolutely
brilliant. You guys are still the world tag team champions - y'know, last
week when you said that you two guys were the Vegas Connection, and you
said when you were the Vegas Connection that you really sucked, you guys
didn't mention anything about your wrestling ability. But that's okay,
'cause I'm out here on official business tonight. I'm out here to break
both your arms, but before I do, let me call out another executive of the
company... Could I please have Mr. CEO Ric Flair?" And THE MAN *does*
arrive. "You've got a lot going on in this program, what could you
possibly want of me? The world champions are standing there, they're
lookin' good tonight, brother, and you better get used to it." "Now Ric, I
know you're the law, I know you're all about doing the right thing - hell,
I wanna do the right thing myself, so let me get started with a little
somethin' that happened back at Mayhem - let me get started with something
that you folks did not see. If you could, please." On the Turnertron
"You did not - okay. Kevin Nash made the tag there. Do we agree on this?
Do we agree? Okay. Now, let me show you something else that you did not
see - Chuck Palumbo was tagged in - Kevin Nash beat Shawn Stasiak.
Therefore, Kevin Nash, you were legal! Shawn Stasiak was not legal - Ric,
right or wrong?" Flair ponders. "This is something you and I should have
talked about backstage, I knew about this - we already talked about it - we
were gonna talk about it later on. Kevin, you and Dallas are puttin' me in
a tough spot, it kills me to do this. You guys do me a favour right now.
For the integrity of WCW, for the integrity of those championship belts,
you let Sanders have the belts tonight, and I'll give you guys somethin'
back real special on the backside." Ooh, sexual reference - oh sorry,
probably not. "Come on! Give 'em up, guys!" Page: "We finally got these
belts to mean somethin' - you want us to give 'em back to this monkey
here?" "I know you guys are a great team - the fact remains the wrong man
got beat. Please, Dallas, do me and WCW a favour. Hey..." They drop them
in the centre and dare Sanders to go up and get them. "Sanders...if you
want the belts, walk over there and get 'em." "What did you say? Ric,
come on now, you've seen the footage, you see 'em, they're acting...nuh uh.
Wrong." "I tell you what I see - I see that I need to give everybody in
this building what they need to hear, and in the wrestling world right now.
Sanders, you can have those belts tonight, but at Starrcade, these monkeys
right here - the Perfect Event - have gotta wrestle the Insiders one more
time." "Sanders - I'm gon' leave it up to you, buddy - I got work back
here - the rest of it's yours." Is he gonna go in there and get the belts
or not? Nash even kicks them towards Sanders...Sanders quickly grabs the
belts and hands them over to Palumbo & Stasiak. Page: "Hey jagoffs, all
this means is... go home, brush 'em up, and get 'em nice and shiny for the
Insiders right here. Because at Starrcade, you're gonna be SOL and that
mean's your gonna FEEL THE" Please, DON'T just stick an opening from one
song onto a new song. IT DOESN'T WORK
See WCW live - while you still can! Sunday tickets go on sale for LaCrosse! Sunday, see WCW Sunday in Monroe (they're running against ARMAGEDDON?), Bossier City for Nitro, and Starrcade hits Washington next Sunday!
Starrcade ad - you cannot imagine
Outside in the parking lot, Mike Awesome remarks on the temperature...as he walks by an ambulance, Bigelow pops out and puts the door into his back. Into a nearby car - "I'll see you at Starrcade, punk!"
RENO v. KRONI>| - WHO HAS PAID KRONIK? WHO? WHO I ASK YOU? Well, let's see - sqaushing young talent....I say it's GOTTA be Nash. Referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker decides this wasn't supposed to be a handicap match and rings the bell again. (DQ 0:27) Backstage, Marie shows concern. I have a feeling she's soon to run out to try to stop the carnage. A SECOND High Times. BIG VITO makes the save? And now MARIE bounces out to check on Reno. Vito...makes a wave on his way out of the ring.
Buff Bagwell STILL carries the power of Lee M. Cardholder's card - man, that guy's gonna be PISSED when he finally gets around to reporting it stolen!
Close captioning where available sponsored by Wizards of the Coast's WCW Nitro trading card game!
"Our World is About to Change...Again..." It would just KILL the commentators to SHUT UP and let this thing go without comment, wouldn't it? I think...yes, *I* am singlehandedly going to get Glacier over. SOMEBODY'S gotta do it!
Backstage, Crowbar catches up with Daffney - it's so great having her out there tonight, it's just like old times, what a great team they make. Daffney asks it he needs a ride. "I sort of..." and Baby and Chiquita appear on each arm. "I'll see ya next week." And off they go. A tech tries to get into the case she's sitting on...she hisses at him and he decides..maybe later. Awww....poor Daff's depressed. MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE REALISED YOU LOVED HIM BACK WHEN YOU WERE FLAUNTING OZZIE IN FRONT OF HIM YOU...YOU STRUMPET
Whoa. I'm sorry, there. Must have been a flashback
Meanwhile, Flair addresses security - he won't be able to bail out Sid in time, and everyone's in danger. Spread out and cover the building. If something happens with Steiner, get on the radio and SWARM SWARM SWARM
At Starrcade, it's now No Holds Barred and No Disqualification - Goldberg vs. "The Total Package" Lex Luger.
Goldberg appeared on the Maury(tm) Show a while back and made a young child's dream come true
M.I. SMOOTH v. COLD "26-0" BEER (entrance 0:59) - the NBA's on TNT Wednesdays and Thursdays, you know. We're in a HURRY here! (jackhammer -> pin 0:51) Sarge...approves. Post-match, it's all hugs between Goldberg and the Sarge - how rugged and manly!
WCW Magazine ad
When we come back, Steiner is completing his "I heard on the 'Net
that he has to do" six hours of warmups. "Flair better produce Sid...or
Flair, I'm comin' after your ass."
At Starrcade, it's a Filthy Animal Street Fight - Jeff Jarrett & the Harris Brothers against the Filthy Animals! The Smark asked me "Jarrett's a five-time WCW champ...not bad for a midcarder, huh?" Umm....I didn't have an answer for THAT one.
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. KONNAN (with Kidman & Raymond Stereo & Tygryss & Let Us Take You Back One Week) - "Listen up, you Nebraska slapasses - the Chosen One has something to say! Now Konnan, correct me if I'm wrong, but did I hear you say that Heavy D and Big Ron, the Harris Brothers, MY backup are a buncha hillbillies? Hell, I'll take them ANY day over your jacked up termite friends you call Filthy Animals. Konnan, you forgot one thing - *I* am the Chosen One. *I* am the superstar with all the damn Stroke around here! So I'm gonna make this real plain and simple - even you and your Filthy Animals can understand. You want me and the Harris Boyz in a Filthy Animals Street fight at Starrcade? No problemo, boys. But K-Dogg, Baldy, I want you to think on this - it's a hell of a long time between now and Starrcade, and I got a crapload of guitars waitin' on each and every one of ya. So I don't know when and I don't know where but I can promise you that we're gonna beat your three asses like a buncha pinatas, so choke on that." Last Week, it wasn't exactly one on one, and I have a feeling that Jarrett taking the mic AGAIN might have something to do with that. "Hey hey ref, it's already been cleared - you know damn good and well. It ain't gonna happen, what took place last week, so send the jacked up termites to the back, and take your skank with ya!" The Animals huddle up...then break. Konnan spends a bit too long on goodbyes, allowing Jarrett to forearm him from behind. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Into the ropes, reversed, up and over, Mysterio sneaks in a trip - oh, but he's on his way out. SURE. Gutshot, gutshot, into the ropes, reversal, leapfrog by Jarrett, gutshot by Konnan, DDT attempt is countered, hammerlock by Jarrett, Konnan counters into the arm wringer, chop, chop, into the ropes, leapfrog by Konnan, back kick, spin around, face to the mat. Jarrett takes a powder while Konnan shakes his shorts because his balls are SO big. Jarrett pulls him out by the ankles - Konnan into the safety rail. Into another safety rail. Jarrett with the chair - WHACK - I guess this is a "no DQ" match? Konnan put back in the ring, stomp, stomp, Jarrett poses on the second rope. Field goal kick. Head to the buckle - sort of. Into the opposite corner, Konnan up and over, back somersault, gutshot, DDT, off the ropes with a seated dropkick, into the ropes, Jarrett ducks, Konnan ducks, neither man ducks. Jarrett pops up...then crumples, clutching his knee. He goes outside and calls Silverman over - and as they confer on the STEEL steps, the HARRYS BROTHYRYZ hit the ring and H bomb Konnan. Jarrett makes a miraculous recovery and comes back in the ring, pointing to his head because he's a GENIUS...meanwhile, the ANIMALS are back out to beat up the Harrisses....but they can't get to the ring, where Jarrett hits the Stroke and...gets the fall. (2:45)
Starrcade ad #2 (I think)
WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: MESH HEAD MUSH MOUTH (with Mesh Midajah) v. GENERAL RECTION - Champ enters first because....man, I can't come up with ANY kind of good reason! Maybe because he's got something to say? "Ric Flair...the CEO...lemme point out something to you that's real clear. You're runnin' out of wrestlers. You don't see no Booker T - you don't see Sting...all 'cause o' me, I put their ass in a hospital! And now you went out and you hired Sid Vicious to come after me - not a chance. See I'm turning the cha-- the tables on you, and you got 'til the end of this match to produce Sid Vicious, right here tonight in this ring...if he's not here, I'm comin' after YOU, Mr. CEO. And just to show you what kind of a
mood I'm in, you watch and see what I do to the US Champ."
Backstage, Flair is watching a monitor...and talking to himself (or us?)
"Here's what's goin' on. I'll be watching this real close, I got Security
set up...I know what's goin' on..." and he gets up and leaves. Here comes
Rection. Steiner drops the forearm as he goes through the ropes, and here
we go - pound, head to the turnbuckle, kick, kick, right, right, right,
ripping off the shirt, chop, into the ropes, they collide in the centre but
NEITHER man moves! Steiner tells him to try it again - Rection off the
ropes...ducks a clothesline, shoulderblock DOES take him down, another
shoulderblock, shoulderblock, off the ropes - big clothesline! Right, into
the opposite corner, reverse, Rection goes up and over to the apron, right
hand for Steiner...top rope clothesline, NBA on TNT Wednesdays and
Thursdays, Steiner rolls outside to recover! Back up on the apron and
through the ropes. Lockup, knee by Steiner, forearm, scoop, no, Rection
back to his feet, knee by Rection, in the sidewalk slam position - no, just
a front slam. Midajah is on the top turnbuckle...jumping on his
back...Morrus foregoes the counter of backing into the corner, with Torrie
on his mind - open kick by Steiner to the groin. Right hand. Into the
ropes, Steinerline, kissed bicep elbowdrop...no cover since he'd rather do
pushups. Kick to the head. Kick. Into the corner, kick, kick, right,
right, right, right, standing on the neck, threatening motions for referee
"Blind" Charles Robinson. Starrcade is 13 days away graphic. Chop, chop.
Belly-to-belly suplex. 1, 2, shoulder up! Steiner argues the cadence and
actually slaps Robinson one. Winding up with the kick. Standing on the
bottom rope choke for 4. Scoops him up...backbreaker across the knee.
Who's the man? Double bicep. Field goal kick following the posedown.
Here's another pose in the corner. Are they gonna do this for another ten
minutes? Picks him up...back rammed into the corner - looks like he's
gonna tie him to the Tree o' Woe. Going outside to pull on the neck. Hey,
how about another big choke? That must hurt, he got muted! Steiner back
in the ring and mouthing off to fans. Kneelift. Standing on the neck once
again. In the corner, kick, kick, kick, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, pose. "It's over!" Double underhook...but he takes too long
mouthing off to the fans and Rection counters with a backdrop! I think the
adrenaline is FINALLY starting to kick in for the US Champ...block, right,
right, right, right, off the ropes with the clothesline! Steiner outside -
Rection with a PESCADO!! Midajah over - Rection blocks the kick...but
Steiner forearms him in the back off the distraction. Back to the
ring...head to the buckle by Steiner, kick, into the ropes is reversed, big
powerslam by Rection! 1, 2, no! GERMAN release suplex by Rection! He's
going up top...NO - LAUGHING - MATTER! 1...2...NO!! Robinson looks as
shocked as Rection that Steiner got the shoulder up. What does Rection
have left? He's going to go up to the second rope for a Vaderbomb...but
Steiner gets the knees up. Rection runs at Steiner...but he moves out of
the corner, leaving a hard turnbuckle to take the blow. BLOCKBUSTER
SUPLEX! Forearm to the back, got the legs - that's it. Steiner Recliner
is applied. Rection *immediately* gives it up - he'd like to live to fight
again. (8:42) "Cut
the music! Ric Flair...your time is up - Ric
Flair...your ass is mine." And out he goes...up the aisle...RUNNING
backstage...but we look back to ringside, where FRANCHISE has materialised
out of thin air and puts Rection into the safety rail - chain wrapped
around the right hand...
To the go position, where Arn....I think he told David and Stacey to hotfoot it, but the camera just about missed it. Steiner delivers a knee to Arn Anderson, and a forearm. "You're Flair's friend, ain'tcha?" Head to the monitor. "You're not Flair's friend!" They both come back in front of the curtain. Forearm to the back - Arn rolls down the ramp. Head to the safety rail. Anderson rolls into the ring...forearm by Steiner. Got the lead pipe...off the ropes with a lead pipe cinch clothesline! "What are ya gonna do, Flair?" STEINER RECLINER ON ARN ANDERSON!
Back to the go position, where Fit Finlay is holding back Flair. "You're the CEO!" "I don't care if I'm the CEO or not - what do you mean I can't do it? Then get security out there!" Goldberg runs by this tussle....and now it's COLD BEER out to the ring...only to be headed off at ringside by THE NARCISSIST's Ace Toolbow elbow! WHACK with the chair! SARGE is over the rail - *he* gets a whack. SECURITY swarms around Luger and Steiner...but it's not working. SID VISCOUS shows up, but they don't feel like cutting to THAT camera....we see that THE MAN helping security carry Arn backstage. Crowd chanting "Sid Sid Sid" - credits are up and we're out...just as Steiner gets his mits on Vicious, forearming away...
Hey! This show *is* getting better, isn't it? A bungload of talking, but if they get the stories in place, maybe they can dial it down in time for next week...right? Well, you and I will be back then to find out!
You're watching BULL!