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No time for a WCW logo - we go straight to the ring and catch RICK WOOF WOOF in mid-sentence - Booker T was never anything without his brother (and the TV-14-DL ratings box) and as a champion, he was nothing. Here's the close captioned logo as well. Steiner berates the fans for completing his catchphrase. NAPPY T. is out to respond to the challenge. "Kill that music! You know something, Rick and Big Poppa Pump, there's a lotta bad blood runnin' there, and I'm gon' handle that in due time, but as far as you go, I'm'a come down to this ring for one reason and one reason only, and that's for these fans right here in this audience. But not only am I gonna come to that ring, but I'm gonna whup yo ass all over the place tonight. But you know what - but you know what, at the the end of the night, I'm gonna be the US Champion, get me a referee out here and let's do this! Scott James is up behind him as Steiner meets T in the aisle - and off they go. Still out at ringside - Steiner tastes the safety rail. Clothesline by T. Head ot the steps. WOW that's some dark arena. Rolled back in the ring (finally!) and Steiner kicks him in the jimmy to turn it around. Boot to the head. Head to the buckle by Steiner. This match is nontitle, oh so who cares then. T gets a kick, Steiner punches in bunches - cover - 2. Steiner to the chinlock - overhand right. Hudson proclaims that Steiner has no soul. Into the ropes...Steinerline. Steiner hooks a leg - and gets 2 again. Steiner with a right...then mauls James for good measure. Into the corner, T gets an elbow up - right, right, right, right, right, right, right, climbing to the second rope - Ten Punch Count Along. Right hand. Forearm. Into the opposite corner, Steiner gets the boot up. T put in the corner, up and over, but Steiner hits a back elbow - belly-to-belly suplex! 1, 2, T kicks out! T put in the ropes, reversal, T with a sleeper, but Steiner suplexes out - no, T shifts his weight and hits a crossbody for 2! Steinerline cuts that momentum - Steiner gets 2 again. Double underhook - Pedigree?! No, pulling him up for a powerbomb - and *that* gets 2! Steiner up for the bulldog...but T hits the ropes, crotching the US champ. T with a right, climbing up after him - superplex!! Floating over - only 2! Gutshot, another kick, off the ropes, axe kick! Breakdancing up! Harlem sidekick! He's signalling - setting up for the Book End, but Steiner elbows out. Steiner wants the Driver, but T counters by rolling him up for 2. Book End attetmpt again - but Steiner knees him. Ahh hell WHITE THUNDER is out (relaxed DQ 5:25) - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC is out - Rick is tossed, Page ducks a charge and Scott (eventually) flies outside. SECURITY is out to hold them back. Page tries to get the crowd into it. "Hey DDP! Aren't you afraid of running? Why don't you be a man and fight me on your own?" T: "Yo! I knew it was only a matter o' time 'fore you ran your punk ass out here - but let me tell you something - I'm not through witchoo yet." "And Einsteiner! The one thing you don't get yet is DDP is not the hunted - I'M the hunter! And by the time your muscled up, genetic geek peabrained mind figures it out, it'll be too late. You wanna get your hands on me? Cool - 'cause I wanna stick my fist down your throat! Why don't we do it right here today in Greenville? I got something - you and your big brother, the Einsteiners against DDP and Book - er - T - T - T. We'll see who feels the BANG!" And they play his crappy music.

Greed hype

Wolverine Boots and Shoes bring you the Stomp of the Night - a crappy run-in, another crappy run-in, and an announced main event of epic proportions

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON - *this* is WCW Monday Nitro, coming to you via tape delay 5.3.1 from Greenville, SC and the BI-LO Center - I've said it before and I'll say it again: BI-LO is "a great place to shop." Earlier this week, Ric Flair's office announced a Jeff Jarrett/Dusty Rhodes feature bout. Yes, you read right.

Let Us Take You Back Five Weeks, where Dusty did some elbow stuff



Let Us Take You Back to Last Week and show you how the Filthy Animals and Jung Dragons advanced in the cruiserweight tag team tournament

Here's your tourney graphic. The Filthy Animals will take on the winner of the 3 Count/Jaime Knoble & Scotty O. match - also, the Jung Dragons will fight the Skipper & ?/Paris & Styles winner.

A.J. STYLES & AIR PARIS (with Let Us Take You Back two weeks to Thunder) v. AD BREAK - Elix Skipper is WALKING!

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Castrol Motor Oily!

A.J. STYLES & AIR PARIS v. "PRIMETIME" ELIX SKIPPER and ? - "For all you people that don't know...this is MY house! And I built this house! I'ma show you rednecks something you ain't NEVAAAAAH seen before! In fact, you are looking at one half of the first ever, and I mean EVER, cruiserweight tag team champions! I know, I know - you wanna know who my partner is. You guys wanna know who's ready for Prime Time? Well WCW, without further ado, I give you KID ROMEO." Romeo, to my knowledge, isn't Canadian. Unfortunately (fortunately?) he doesn't have the glowsticks with him for this entrance, but he *does* have pullapart pants...which I'm sure pisses off Buff Bagwell. Lockup, arm drag by Romeo...and jumping jacks. He's like Rick Martel! Collar and elbow - Styles returns the favour - HE does some jacks. Third time's a charm - no, gutshot by Romeo, overhand right, right, right, chop, chop, into the ropes, Styles holds on - then dumps Romeo to the floor when he charges. He's gonna, sliding into a bodyscissors by Romeo - and face first onto the commentary table! Back inside - Paris tries a tope but Skipper Matrixes under and Paris sails through to the floor - at least landing on Romeo on his way down. Here comes Skipper...pescado with a twist right onto Paris! Over to Styles - whipped into the guard rail, Styles leaps up and hits a backflip off (!) and lands on his feet when Skipper ducks - gutshot, knee, forearm, down the back - almost like a Tarantula on the floor, putting Skipper's head in perfect position for Paris' leg lariat - whoa! Romeo off the steps with a flying clothesline onto Paris. Only Romeo is left standing. He grabs Paris and puts him back in the ring - stomp, stomp, into the ropes, scoop, Paris up and over and Styles joining him - double gutshot, into the ropes, into the H bomb position, but whipped down and forward into a double face jam - Styles covers - 1, 2, Skipper saves. Euro forearm, into the ropes, kick ducked, Paris joins him - Double Elimination? Skipper rolled up - drop toehold by Paris for the sentonbomb by Styles - Greed is 13 days away, thanks graphic - Paris covers for 1 and Romeo makes a superfluous save. Paris put in the corner - brief doubleteam. Paris into the ropes, but he catches himself - off the bottom rope, up and over, superkick for Skipper finds the mark! Hmm, Hudson name drops his old Centre Stage (and r.s.p-w) cohort Steven Prazak, who has an NWA Wildside connection to Styles & Paris - interesting. Kevin Bacon fits into this somewhere as well. Both men need a tag and both men are out of position - both men DO tag - Right by Styles, one for Skipper, one for Romeo, scoop slam for each men, tag to Paris - double dropkick for skipper - one for Romeo puts him on the floor. Paris up top - somersault plancha onto Romeo (and with the back of his head on the floor as well)! Styles watching - umm, behind you, buddy - Skipper mauls him to the mat. Skipper to the apron - top rope Asai moonsault on Paris AND Romeo! Konnan and Lance Storm on Thunder, by the way. Is Romeo bleeding? Styles back up - top rope plancha onto all three men! Skipper rolled back in by Styles - Skipper up and over off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, but not the dropkick. Styles laying in wait - off the ropes - but Romeo lowers the bridge. Romeo whips him into the STEEL steps - Paris on Romeo, but Romeo turns it around - whip into the mat is reversed - Romeo flubs the boost onto the mat off Paris' charge, but they cover just in time for Skipper's springboard dropkick to connect...and Romeo turns this to a powerslam as Paris falls to the mat. As Skipper hits *another* pescado onto Styles, we see CHAVO GUERRERO JNR checking it out from the top of the ramp - oh, good, we didn't have enough going on with highspot after highspot, right? Back to the ring, Paris put in - Skipper with a springboard dropkick on his way in, and Paris staggers to Romeo, who delivers a Death Valley Bomb and scores the pin. (5:30) One of the two men was legal, at least.

Backstage, Sean O'Haire talks to an unseen presence just over the cameraman's left shoulder. Chuck Palumbo lurks in the shadows as well. O'Haire doesn't sound as goofy as he normally that a positive or a negative?

LATER TONIGHT... DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers!

LATER TONIGHT... Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes!



Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (Savage), Geico, Geico (again), Plus+White whitening toothpaste, Nutra Nail nail fertilizer, Hot Pockets from Hot Pockets, and...oh, that's it

THE NARCISSIST (with Let Us Take You Back to two previous Thunders) v. SEAN O'HAIRE - Witchblade is coming this summer on TNT - at this rate, it will be on in this timeslot, if you catch my drift. I know better than to call this match, but I'm already super late, so let's draw it out and see what happens. O'Haire ducks a big kick, but not a big gutshot. Big elbow. Big double sledge to the traps, big right, big kick. Big stomp. Big kick. Luger grabs the arm and gets a big kick to the exposed midsection. Another big kick. Into the ropes, reversed, O'Haire has him across his shoulders, then dumps him on his back for 2. I think he hurt HIMSELF more than Luger - anyway, Luger busts out a big jawbreaker to turn it back. Big atomic drop. Big clothesline. Luger is approaching the magic number of TEN BIG MOVES this match! Leg is hooked, but it's still a lax cover - 2. Big elbowdrop, big elbowdrop, motioning to his Ace toolbox elbow, WALKING off the ropes, and dropping the loaded elbow - but O'Haire rolls out of the way! There's a clothesline! Another clothesline - leg is hooked, and he gets 2. O'Haire picks him up, puts him in the corner, right, left, right, right to the head, double trapezeus hold...referee "Blind" Billy Silverman pulls him off. Standing on the neck - again Silverman warns him off. Kick to the back by O'Haire. Daring him to get up - into the opposite corner we go, but Luger gets a big boot up. ACE TOOLBOX ELBOW!! But Luger poses to two sides of the arena before hooking the leg - and again allowing O'Haire plenty of room to raise his shoulder at 2. O'Haire shoved into the corner, big kick, big kick, big kick. Big Irish whip into the opposite corner - oh yeah, Greed is 13 days away - O'Haire stairsteps up the ropes and backflips off...but clutches his left knee after landing. Luger wastes no time kicking the left knee - and one more time - and there's another stomp. In the corner now, repeatedly stomping on the knee. CHUCK PALUMBO runs out as Luger continues to stomp on the knee - Palumbo tries to grab his partner, but Luger kicks him away. Palumbo back over - pulling Luger outside and landing with the right. Palumbo hammering him - Silverman letting it go - meanwhile, BUFF DADDY BAGWELL is out with a STEEL chair - to the left knee, to the back, rolling him back over and ready to Pillmanize the left leg. *Finally* Silverman catches wind of shenanigans and gets Bagwell out of the ring...and removes the chair. Amazingly, there's STILL no bell. O'Haire with the small package - 1, 2, no. Luger calls for some help while Silverman yells at Palumbo - Luger holding him for the Buff Blockbuster - of course, O'Haire drops out and *Luger* ends up taking it. O'Haire puts him in position for the Seantonbomb as Palumbo pulls out Bagwell - leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3. (6:08) I'm sorry but that was, as we in the business describe it, tres lame. Bagwell *does* get a Buff Blockbuster on O'Haire after the bell, but it all seems so meaningless now. Okay, play his music, we're moving on.

Hey! Two nights of the Kings on national television in a row! Can you beat that with a stick? (Yeah, Webber's back.) BOOYA! Hope we can beat the Suns...



Did you forget we were on the Road to the Last Nitro Ever, aka the Spring Break-Out? Here's a Special Video Look at Clemson, where apparently *nothing* is happening - I mean, those parties cost MONEY, folks.

Outside, a black limousine pulls into the arena - dig that crazy pair of cameraman legs reflected in the front license plate.

Inside, Kanyon thanks Shawn Stasiak for the ride to the hospital - he's apparently going to visit Ms. Jones (what, she travels from hospital to hospital?) - Stasiak offers a signed photo to cheer her up. Meanwhile, M.I. Smooth is taking all this in from the driver's seat...until he raises the little window...

Meanwhile, Chavo Guerrero Jr. talks to....hell, I have no idea. Somebody just off camera who says nothing and could very well not exist. Or maybe they're propping up Okerlund's corpse but it's too grisly to put in the camera shot. What did Guerrero talk about? I wasn't paying attention...

Meanwhile, Storm taunts Konnan, Awesome attacks from behind, Morrus tries to make a save, and Security saves us from this segment. None too soon!

LATER TONIGHT... DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers!

UP NEXT... Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes - quick, call your Mom!

Promotional consideration paid for by Hot Pockets (again), 1-800-BAR-NONE, NutraNail (again), Plus+White (again), America (ha!) Online, and Hot Pockets (again) (again)

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. ECW's DUSTY RHODES - "Tonight, the Chosen One has finally achieved his destiny in putting the Rhodes name and legend to rest. Now Ric Flair didn't want this match to take place, but I told the Nature Boy that I was gonna beat the American Dream Dusty Rhodes, right here, right in the middle of the ring, in Greenville, just like I did his good for nothing son last week on Nitro! So Dream, come on down I can finally put your big fat white ass to rest." Tony tells us this is a big moment in Nitro, and surely he'd know, right? Of course, it's a man in Rhodes mask, black hat, and plenty of padding. "Fans, I apologise - I really do." What, there's no wolf, Tone? Strangely, they don't play their ripoff of "American Dream" - perhaps somebody made some lawsuit noise about it the last time they did that? "I can tell you came to fight - you know how? You didn't bring your bucket of fried chicken, now let's go." Referee "Blind" Mickie J. reluctantly rings the bell and we're on. Comical jump by "Rhodes" into the collar and elbow, side headlock by Jarrett - powered into the ropes, but Jarrett grabs the ropes and hits his strut. Jarrett winds up his elbow...but halts as Rhodes begs off. Jarrett likes it. Knee to the padding by Jarrett - winding up the right...and poking the glasses. Double chop! Crotch grab! Winding it up...and his trick knee acts up. BIONIC ELBOW! Elbowdrop - 1, 2, 3. (0:56) "Cut the music! I'm gonna seal this deal with a kiss, 'cause finally the Dream is gonna kiss the Chosen One's ass!" Here comes DUSTIN RHODES - right hand, right, into the ropes, atomic drop, lariat, climbing to the second rope for the Ten Punch Count Along. Uppercut, uppercut puts him on the floor. Rhodes whips Jarrett into the safety rail (Jarrett almost slows to a walk before landing). Head to the safety rail. Rolled back in the ring - right hand, into the ropes is reversed, but Rhodes hits the bulldog! Now setting him up for Shattered Dreams but "Dusty" is stirring...hmmm, if I didn't know better, I'd say that's Ric Flair under that makeup - oh, I *don't* know better. Seeing Flair collapse at a punch that didn't come within five feet of landing from Rhodes seals the deal. Jarrett knocks him down and gets to stompin - and Flair joins him. Harrett tries really hard to grab a chair as Flair chops on him. Jarrett with a chair to the back - and again. Hmmm, the "American Dream" ripoff *does* play - well here *is* ECW's DUSTY RHODES - three people are marking out - two are in Tennessee, and the other one is in Rhode Island. Elbow for Flair - one for Jarrett, right for Flair, flip flop and fly for Jarrett -



windup right for Flair. The ring is cleared of all but Dustin...that is, if you're still noticing Dustin out there. Flair has a mic. "Rhodes! You're a dead man! don't work here - you're a - you keep your mouth shut, you're not allowed in the building! Security, security, what are you doin'? Hey, I'm talking to you - what are you doing in my damn building? I built this town, brother, and I own the building...and you!" "Let me tell you what I am doing in your building. THIS is what I'm doin' in your building! Lemme start with you, Jeff Jarrett, second generashun, your daddy, when he wasn't holding a drink in each hand, when he wasn't out chasing the ladies of the evening if you will, took time outta his schedule to make that. Man, all you had to do was go inna - all he had to do was go inna gas station, go in the men's and go up there and read, okay here's one that has all on's one that's just plain...oh yeah, and here's one where I can make a FOOL. Hold it, hey Naitch, hey, hey hey hey, hey, fat boy, hold on. Hold on. I always wanted to say fat boy! I always wanted to say hey fat boy! That ain't right - I'm killing myself - I'm killing myself. Lemme get to you real quick, all right, because obviously when you imitate people, it's a form of flattery, you know what I mean, it's like great athletes - great athletes get imitated - you were a major superstar in this industry. Okay, the end it became, and I gotta admit this, it became a time for the Jeff Jarretts and for the Dustin Rhodes, I said at one time - listen to me good, listen to me good, I said at one time that Arn Anderson was a walk-behinder, I said that you were a megastar, well in Hollywood, there's megastars, there's stars, there's principals, and Flair, what you are now is nothing but an extra - you're just a nextra." Flair hits the ring, Jarrett joins him, and here we go again. Coming up next, Rhodes hauls ass all the way to Lollapalooza! "Rhodes! RHODES! YOU - if you worked for this company, would get your ass kicked right now." Somebody else - oh, hey, that's Dustin: "Well, let's forget about him for a second, *I* work here! And let me t--" "You don't work here! Who do you think you're talking to? You don't work here - you just - you shut up, or I'm gonna (Japslap?) you. You don't work here, but if you wanna work here, you bring him to Jacksonville to Greed, and me and Double J will beat the livin' hell outta both o' you." "Oh really." "Yeah, I'm talking - bring him - bring your old man - and you gotta job - and you can beat me and Double J." "Well Big Dust, do you have one more silver dollar?" "I think I got one more silver dollar left, and let's - listen to this now, at Creed on pay-per-view, I'm gonna pack up my ol' pickup truck, and drag my big fat ass down there, and I'm gonna beat you and make you kiss my white ass!" Tony: "If there's a bigger news item in all of wrestling, I'd like to see it, Scott Hudson!" I guess he must have missed Paul Heyman on the other channel at roughly the same time. Oh well.

Thunder ad

Close captioning where available sponsored by Meineke Discount Mufflers!

See the stars of WCW - while you still can! Sunday it's McMinnville! Next Monday, join E.C. Ostermeyer for Nitro and Thunder in Knoxville! Greed hits Jacksonville next Sunday! Nitro hits Gainseville the following Monday! Hurry, hurry, there's only three weeks of WCW remaining!

Moments Ago, Rhodes, Jarrett, Rhodes, Flair, and Rhodes

CHAVO GUERRERO JNR (with TV-14-DL ratings box and Let Us Take You Back to Last Week - by the way, those of us in the business call him "Chavito" to look smarter) v. SUGAR SHANE HELMS (with the Nitro Grrrls and a new entrance) in a nontitle match - this is a pay-per-view match, but since you wouldn't possibly be interested in paying to see it, here it is for free. Helms enters to darkness and spotlights - and "Vertebraeker." Run-in is provided by KID ROMEO & ELIX SKIPPER, who pull Helms off the apron and knock his jaw on the mat on the way to the floor.




What the heck *is* that thing hanging off Helms' knee? Greed is 13 days away. Helms valiantly fights back until Skipper grabs his ankle off the ropes. Lather, rinse, repeat. Helms decides it'd be a better idea to hit a tope onto Romeo & Skipper (You can almost see Skipper go "oh shit, better run up and catch that fool") that try for the pin. Anyway, after copious interference that I'm too lazy to describe, mostly due to the infuriating performance by referee "Blind" Charles Robinson (who actually looks RIGHT AT Skipper in the ring at one point - OH COME ON), Guerrero sneaks in his brainbuster and scores the fall. Whoopee! (4:57)

LATER TONIGHT... DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers - hello? Anybody still out there?

Time now for the WCW Road to Spring Break-Out 2001, brought to you as always by 1-800-COL-LECT and America Online! RIKI RACHTMAN parties with ... Gran Turino? No, I don't care - in fact, I think I'm PURPOSELY misspelling it so *don't* bother to write me with a correction because I DON'T CARE and you need to GET A LIFE and and and

And now we're at Ms. Jones' hotel room, where Kanyon (dressed in hospital gown) instructs the camera crew to keep the [two] cameras rolling and make sure they get *everything*. Jones sees Kanyon - and screams - Kanyon covers her mouth and gets dramatic. To get to the Cat, he's gotta get through her - nothing personal, but he hates the Cat. Cat shows up at this point (he must always walk around shirtless) and lays out Kanyon - but checks on Jones too soon - Kanyon breaks a (poster?) over his back and *there's the bedpan shot!* Kanyon grabs a crutch...but Cat stops him just in time. Leave it to Cat to shout "I'm the greatest!" while fighting Kanyon. HE'S going to swing a crutch to Kanyon - but he kicks him in the nuts *just in time*. Kanyon advances on Jones yet again...but Cat breaks a bottle over his head. Then Cat...defibrulates his ass. Fortunately, although he's touching Jones, she feels no shock at all. Cat advances on the camerman demanding the tape...and we're mercifully out.

Damn, I mean if it's not even funny when it's *Austin and McMahon...*

Wanna hit the beach and party hardcore style at the WCW Spring Break-Out and Last Nitro Ever on Panama City Beach? Visit!

Next week, Nitro hits Knoxville! I have it on good authority that there will be at least one "Who the hell is E.C. Ostermeyer?" sign in the crowd as well

AWESOME MIKE AWESOME (with Let Us Take you Back to Last Week) v. WHO? HUGH! MORRUS - Morrus pulls Awesome out...and hits the ring behind him. Awesome in as Morrus stokes the crowd. Lockup, side headlock by Morrus, Awesome to the kidneys to break it - they collide and nobody moves. Witchblade is coming this summer! Morrus off the ropes...into the big boot. Awesome drops the elbow.



Right hand, right, right - Tony: "I'm sorry you had to sit through (the previous segment)" - sure, he apologises for Kanyon in the hospital but not Rhodes in the ring. He apologises for Kanyon in the hospital but not Romeo & Skipper destroying a perfectly good match. Whip into the opposite corner is reversed and Morrus hits the clothesline. To the other corner - another clothesline. Awesome clotheslines back coming out. Right by Awesome, right, right, drops the leg, cover - 2. Right by Awesome, into the ropes, flying lariat - nice. Tossed through the ropes - Awesome follows. Hard whip into the guard rail..Awesome runs at him...but gets backdropped into the audience. Awesome springs back up, off the guardrail with a clothesline! Awesome breaks the (ha) count, then goes back to Morrus - "!" Right hand by Awesome, Morrus rolled back in the ring - Awesome back in with the slingshot press...for 2. Whip into the ropes is reversed, hiptoss blocked, Awesome with a gutshot and a Rydeenbomb...for 2. "It's over!" Awesome to the top...but taking too long - Morrus over and punching - Awesome with a headbutt - clothesline off the top (!) - 1, 2, NO! (Greed is 13 days away.) Awesome puts Morrus into the ropes, Morrus ducks the clothesline and hits a German suplex. Running to the corner but Morrus hits the post when Awesome moves away. Awesome setting him up for the Awesomebomb...but Morrus backdrops out of the attempt. Oh, good - a run-in: LANCE STORM pulls Morrus out, right, into the rail is reversed and Storm hits it, then eats a clothesline from Morrus. Morrus back in the ring...but Awesome is ready for ANOTHER slingshot clothesline. Awesome going up top once again...WAY too much time taken - Awesome splash MISSES! Morrus with a DDT - going up for No Laughing Matter - and it hits! 1, 2, 3! (6:16) Storm is quickly in to pound on Morrus...and there's the Canadian Maple Leaf! Here comes KONNAN in his neon yellow warmups to clear the ring of Canadians...orale!

UP NEXT...DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers! Umm, but there's *24* minutes left in this show?!?

Yet another WCW Road to Spring Break-Out special video look - don't tell me I saw a *Harris* brother? Holy cow, there he is again! I'm so tired of typing 1-800-COL-LECT and America (ha) Online.

Next week, it's the University of Tennessee - don't make me drop E.C.'s name one more time

RICK WOOF WOOF (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) and MESH HEAD MUSH MOUTH (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE - remember when Scott Steiner had *four* women accompanying him to ringside? It's almost kinda *sad* to see him with zero women these days...well, not really. If we're REALLY lucky, the champ will grace us with a few words before we sneak in another ad break. Whoops, it's Rick: "Booker T - I don't know what you're thinking - heat the player, hate the game. I don't know what fairy tale you're in, but you make me sick. We ain't back in Houston where you can lead the band out to the...field, we're in a real man's business, and your brother ain't here to save ya. (Witchblade comes this summer to TNT) want me to get a beatin' o' your life? Why don't you accept the challenge, to take me on at the pay-per-view at Greed. If you want some, you come get some - shut up! You don't like me, bite me." "You know I grabbed the tape from last Monday night Nitro, stuck it in the VCR and pushed rewind over and over, listenin' to Diamond Dallas Page saying he's gonna outthink me. But I noticed every time he said something, his lips weren't movin', 'cause quite frankly, Diamond Dallas Page, you're talkin' outcher ass if you think you're gonna outthink me. Nobody has ever outthought me in this business, especially white trash like you. But I will give you one advantage: see, when you run,



like your little bitch, into the crowd, I can't find ya. You're like a chameleon, because all you white trash look the same to me. Straight from your straight ratty hair to your rotten teeth, to the smell that I smell, it's like sm- lookin' for a needle in a haystack. So come Greed, the running stops, you're - I'm gonna question your manhood, and I'm gonna show you you're no match for the genetic freak."

NEXT: Diamond Dallas Page and Booker T. are WALKING!

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STEINER BROTHERS v. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) and NAPPY T. - "Yo! Dogface - first of all, I accept your challenge on one condition: it's for the US title at pay-per-view, WCW Greed, and not only will I be the US champ after it's all over, DDP gon' be the world champ, and like I always say, don't hate the player, hate the game." They rush the ring and here we go - Pier Four in opposite corners - back and forth we go - Page on Scott and Booker on Rick - hey, Page with the pescado! Back in the ring - Rick gets a superkick from T - Scott runs in and gets T from behind, and he lands on the floor - Rick puts him in the barricade - Page with a flying clothesline on Scott - whip is reversed, Rick holds onto the ankle and Scott pounds on Page. Upside down to the turnbuckle, tied to the Tree of Woe, and Scott kicks away. Now outside the ring and pulling back on the neck. Rick is in the ring and kicking as well. Finally it's one on one - whip is reversed, Rick catches the kick but eats the discus lariat. Both men tag - running clothseline for Scott, one for Rick, one for Scott, Scott rolls out - gutshot for Rick, vertical suplex, leg is hooked, 2. Rick put in the ropes, but he halts himself - T runs at him but he ducks...and Scott lowers the bridge, taking him outside. Scott puts him in the safety rail. Chair to the side! WHACK! Of course, referee "Blind" Mickie J. is busy trying to keep Page out of the action. Put back in the ring where Rick covers...and gets 2. Forearm in the back by Steiner. Into the ropes, Steinerline. Rick taunts Page, distracting J. - Steiners pull the old "clap my hands to simulate a tag" routine, and J. buys it. Belly-to-belly by Scott for 2. T put in the ropes, Steinerline. Kiss the bicep, drop the elbow - 1, no no no it's pushup time for Scott. T tossed outside to Rick - into the safety rail. Kick. Short clothesline by Rick...and putting T back in the ring for his brother. Steiner puts a foot between the shoulderblades and pulls back on the arms (just say bow and arrow) - okay, bow and arrow - head to the buckle is blocked, though, and T fires back - elbow, right, right, right, right, did he just fake spitting into that last right? Into the ropes, head down, forearm by Steiner - blockbuster suplex! 1, 2, T barely gets a shoulder up! Chinlock, tag to Rick, who picks up on the chinlock, only applyling his own variant which involves raking the eyes. 1, 2, no. Into the ropes, T ducks and hits the flying jalapeno! Does he have enough left to breakdance up? Looks like no. T crawls to the wrong he's going the right way - and makes the HOT TAG!! Page in, ducks a Steinerline, right, left, right, discus lariat, shot for Scott, shot for Rick, into the ropes, clothesline. But Rick comes back with a gutshot, knee, knee, Page with a kick to the gut and DDT - Scott in to prevent a count - AND tag T while he's at it - gutshot for Page - belly-to-belly suplex. Scott goes out after T with the double sledge - whip into the safety rail is reversed - Scott goes down the aisle and T follows. Bott up by Page...but he runs into the Steinerline. T and Scott going backstage, looks like. Rick is standing on Page's neck. Page pulls himself up but we cut to T running Scott into the safety rail before we can see him come back. Back to the ring, where Rick is setting up for the second rope bulldog - backstage, Totally Buff and Road Warrior Animal have joined in on Booker T - Jarrett as well - back to the ring, where Page kicks out at 2. Rick sets up for the Driver, but Page knees out...but Steiner hits a German suplex. Steiner with the sign of the Diamond Cutter (heh) and going for the Driver once again...Page goes behind, dueling backslides - Page's trick knee acts up, Diamond Cutter - 1, 2, 3! (9:01) Page steals a mic and goes through the crowd. "Hey Steiner! Einsteiner! I'm still--" Scott Steiner from behind with a elbow to the back of the head! HA! Before they go backstage, credits are up and we're out. But...what happened to Booker T?

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