/18 May 1998
have jet lag. I also am way behind on answering my email
so if you wrote me last week and I haven't written back, that's why.
Let us take you back to Slamboree - photos detail Scott Hall's betrayal of Kevin Nash, resulting in new Tag Team Champions - Sting & Giant. What will Sting's choice be tonight - WCW or NWO?
LIVE from the Civic Center in Providence, Rhode Island, it's WCW Monday Nitro! 18.5.98 and rated TV-PG-V in America.
ERIC BISCHOFF, complete with crown and motorcycle suspended from chains, is in the ring before we even meet the hosts. "You know - It is so good to be king. (Great big "Bischoff sucks" chant) And as I ponder my future in this sport I love, I have to look back at the past. In fact, as I look back at the past hundred weeks, I realise that right now my professional television record is 98-2. But that's not good enough, because now that my professional wrestling *in-ring* record is 2-0, I have to make a decision. Yes, I've defeated Larry Zbyszko, and yes, I've defeated Vince McMahon - but it's a bittersweet victory, because while I wanted to do it in the ring, that just wasn't gonna happen ("Larry" chant) - I did what I could - I called the man out - I did what a man should do under the circumstances - well, like I said, I did all I could do, and now as I said I have to look to the future and what the future holds for Eric Bischoff is a record BETTER than Bill Goldberg's - I am going to chase the dream - the dream that started for me last night - and I want to thank each and every one of you here tonight for being a part of one of the greatest night's in my life - THANK YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT!" Of course, he didn't defeat Zbyszko, and as for the McMahon match...and I don't know about you, but I bet he's more obsessed with that "2" than that "98." And for now, that's all I'll say about that.
Mean Gene Okerlund is on hand to introduce the Nitro Girls. Must be tough to cash a cheque for doing THAT.
Let us take you back to Thunder, where Perry Saturn compares himself to Glacier, and then has some words for "the Snowman."
(perry) SATURN v. PSYCHOSIS - Saturn takes control with lots of punches and kicks. Psychosis comes back with a flip and a spinning heel kick for 1. Whip by Psychosis, reverse, slides through and big chops by Psychosis (woooo!) To the turnbuckles, Saturn pushes him off but meets a dropkick on the way down. Psychosis again puts him on the top. Dropkick to a seated Saturn, who goes outside. Tope suicida by Psychosis! Both men down on the outside. Back in, chop, whip, reverse, dragon suplex by Saturn. Commentators mention that Dean Malenko returned last night to win the Cruiserweight title. Superkick (a dig at Glacier) is followed by the Spicolli driver AND the Rings of Saturn to ensure Saturn's win. (2:33)
Promtional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Moen faucets, America Online, and Push Pops.
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Larry Zbyszko.
Let us take you back to the Slamboree stills - Bret Hart hits Roddy Piper from behind with an international object, Piper thinks Savage did it. Miss Elizabeth and Hollywood Hogan get involved - well, it's a complex story. The upshot is Hart won last night, and the commentators still refer to the Hitman as "Hollywood's new best friend."
Mean Gene Okerlund brings out ROWDY RODDY PIPER, to whom Gene refers as "acting Comissioner." I'm not sure if that's right or not, but they can always change their minds next week. Piper apparently STILL hasn't seen the replays - he's still blaming his head injury (well, the recent one) on Randy Savage - and so he calls him out - and so out comes RANDY SAVAGE, who takes long enough coming to the ring for the commentators to push the Special Encore Presentation. When Savage comes out, Piper reveals that he DID see the footage of the match, and he now knows that it was Hart who hit him from behind, and that he now knows that Hogan ran in last night and interfered, so he's reversing his decision - and he raises Savage's hand as the winner. This brings out BRET HART, who does a general whining bit about the fact that his win has been taken away. Savage invites Hart into the ring to finish it, and Hart is ready to comply until YOU KNOW WHO comes out to stop him. Hogan (accompanied by Bischoff and the Booty Disciple), says it would be better if it were a tag match - Hogan & Hart v. Savage & Piper - and if it took place at the 14 June Great American Bash PPV. And so we have a main event for the next big PPV card. Phew, I mean, whee.
Cage the Madness! Buy the shirt!
Mean Gene narrates the Starburst Fruit Chews Pin on a Map Road Report - This Thursday, Cleveland, Ohio will feel the THUNDER!
Bobby Heenan has taken Zbyszko's place at the commentary table, and I'm getting the feeling we're only getting one hour total of Nitro tonight. They chat about Hart, Hogan, Piper, and Savage, and then turn to Dean Malenko, who put on the Ciclope suit last night to surprise the wrestling world by winning not only the fifteen-man battle royale, but the Cruiserweight title from Chris Monday Jericho.
In an interview conducted last night, Mean Gene ALMOST apologies to Dean Malenko, Malenko lets it go and delivers an interview saying he's not done with Chris Jericho - that he will rue the day he defamed the name of Boris Malenko.
Another clip taped last night shows Chris Jericho throwing a major league tantrum. The previous sentence does not do justice to Jericho's performance.
DAMIAN (666) v. NEVER SURRENDER JUVENTUD GUERRERA - Juvi's tights say "Da Juice is Back" - we can only wonder what this means, or indeed, where even the juice was. The commentators are more interested in Damian's face paint that the wrestling. Damian does get a GREAT neckbreak variant I've never seen before, but since he only gets 2, I guess it isn't that big a deal. Juvi Driver and firebird splash which he blows (it almost looks like he stomps right on Damian's breastplate in the process), so he adds an elbow drop before the pin. (3:50) We don't get a replay or even look back to see if he's ok. Well, *I* hope he's ok.
This portion of Nitro brought to you by Burger King!
WCW comes this week to Portland (Maine), Youngstown, Memphis, and Nashville for Wednesday THUNDER!
Hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls!
Mean Gene is in the ring, but he's pre-empted in favour of
(bill "88-0") GOLDBERG v. GLACIER (no entrance?!?) for the United States Heavyweight Championship - Glacier does the kick thing, but Goldberg ducks the last one and spears him. Goldberg with the dragon screw legwhip. Takedown, nerve hold (Goldberg's new move du jour), knees to the gut in the corner, whip out, catches a boot, eats a dropkick, spears Glacier after an almost kip-up, jackhammer, and it's over (1:55). The Castrol GTX Torture Test replay is the spear, and the jackhammer - ooh, I never seen THAT before.
NOW we see Mean Gene, who manages to say "shank of the evening" and then brings out DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE - Tenay calls him "the People's Champion" - hey, I'M people and he ain't MY champion. Page tells us that people jack him up, oh and he wants Hogan to give him a Heavyweight title shot, bang.
Promotional consideration paid for by David sunflower seeds, Motel 6 7/8, Simonize car care, and Lean Pockets.
This portion of Nitro is brought to you by Starbust Fruit Chews - now with Juvi Juice!
Time for our main event interview. Out comes Hogan, Bischoff, Disciple, Rhodes, Adams, Vincent - oh, and Giant. Notably absent is Scott Hall. Notably JOINING them is Bret Hart, although he just sits in a corner away from the others. Hogan rails on and on and on about Kevin Nash, and then *does* introduce Scott Hall - who at least makes the "money" rubbing-the-fingers-sign to the camera on his way to the ring as a semi-explanation for his actions of last night. Bischoff calls for (This is) Sting and out he comes. Giant meets him halfway to the ring. Sting - expectorates. "It was a WCW loogie!" ejaculates Schiavone. After turning his back and walking away, Giant has little trouble pummeling Sting to the ground. Out comes - KEVIN NASH? Complete with lead pipe. He picks up Sting - who looks surprised to see him - and we fade out...
and that's all we get tonight. No second hour after the NBA, just a replay. And two more replays after the Godzilla movie. And believe me, this show wasn't good enough to watch four times. Are Sting & Giant still the tag champs? One would think. Is Sting going to join the Wolfpac? Does it MATTER anymore that that wouldn't make sense, considering what's happened the past few weeks? These questions will probably not be answered next week, but tune in anyway!