/3 August 1998
This week's column is dedicated to Wayne Morgan, who never touched a
computer in his life, but was still proud of me - even when he never had a
good reason. Rest in Peace, Grandpa.
We start off with black'n'white stylised slo-mo clips of Goldberg, graffiti, Goldberg, Goldberg, and Goldberg. Oh, and the Giant chokeslaming Goldberg and Goldberg not getting up. This vignette is closed captioned and rated TV-PG-DV.
Opening credits play without sound - some genius dubs in the Nitro generic music after an awkward silence.
WCW Monday Nitro is LIVE in the Unnamed Arena in Denver, Colorado 3.8.98. Tonight we'll have a tag team title match - Giant & Hall vs. Sting & Luger - Hennig vs. Konnan - Cruiserweight title match, Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Hey, look it's the Nitro Girls! And they're wearing GOLD outfits!
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Larry Zbyszko, who looks suspiciously like Bobby Heenan - but no, the graphic says "LARRY ZBYSZKO." Whoops, it really IS Bobby Heenan. Apparently Zbyszko went into a meeting with TNT/Time/Warner execs before the show, and is still in that meeting, so Heenan is out to fill the chair (Union rules state there MUST be three commentators present at all times).
Let Us Take You Back to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno - or is it Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan? Jay Leno and Kevin Eubanks enlist the help of Diamond Dallas Page in extricating Bischoff and Hogan from the Tonight Show set. For some reason, all the naughty words like "ass" are bleeped out. Hogan asks Leno to come to Sturgis - Page suggests Leno take him up on the offer. I hope we see these clips ALL night, I do, I really do.
Here's Gene Okerlund, and here's DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE to talk a little bit about Jay Leno, Hollywood "Scum" Hogan, and "Sleazy E." Page promises that it'll be easy for Leno to step into the ring - Page won't leave much left for Leno to have to deal with. Apparently we'll be treated to clips of Leno training if only we'd tune in to the Tonight Show. Hmm....I think I'll continue to stick to Nightline. Yeah, I watch professional wrestling and I also watch Nightline. Is that okay with you?
BARBARIAN (with James Hart) v. ? - Before we find out who Barbarian is supposed to fight, Jimmy Hart gets on the mic and asks Page to "come get some." I guess we're spared another Duggan match or something, because Page comes back to the ring and the fight is on. Our attention is called to the fact that Page no longer has taped ribs - hopefully he'll get chaired tonight so we can see them taped up for another six months. I think the best part of this match was when Bobby Heenan misidentified Kevin Eubanks as "the host of the Newlywed Game." (Folks playing along at home will spot the joke and recognise BOB Eubanks as that host.) Barbarian actually blocks a Diamond Cutter attempt at one point, which should mean he's fired. Jimmy Hart continues his string of consecutive matches in which the face levels him. (Diamond Cutter -> pin 3:26)
Let us take you back to the Tonight Show where Leno brings out his version of Hollywood Hogan on his "bike" (a tricycle). This is actually pretty funny, but Leno IS a professional so I guess I should expect it to be funny...unlike myself, not a professional, and also not funny.
This portion of Nitro is brought to you by VALVOLINE!
LARRY ZBYSZKO is back - after begging the crowd to chant his name, he has a statement. "Let me tell you what happened, obviously Dusty Rhodes went out of his way and filed some kind of complaint with the Time/Warner people - some kind of stupid gag orders and he showed them videos edited, showing me coming off the set, so T/W thought it would be appropriate to slap my hand. After a very WARM meeting, I pointed out that the only time I've ever stepped out of my duties as an announcer was when someone came to the set and interfered with me doing my job...I pointed out to them that I will do my job...(something about golf)...and their duty is to keep people who should not be on the set, OFF the set."
I should point out that a spontaneous "Goldberg" chant fires up in the crowd, and you can tell it's real 'cause it isn't that crappy sing-song Daryl Strawberry chant.
Let Us Take You Back to last week, where Brian Adams talks, Goldberg's locker room is graffiti'd, Goldberg SPEAKS!, Goldberg beats Adams to become 121-0. I guess tonight we get a word with the Champ.
Let Us Take You Back to last week again, where Diamond Dallas Page and Hollywood Hogan have THEIR tet a tet. Page talks, Hogan talks, they fight, screwjob ending, Goldberg runs out (why?), Giant chokeslams Goldberg.
Travis Tritt music video promoting WCW Road Wild, which word on the street says is this Saturday. Sing along with me, kids: "I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E / We're gonna have us some C&W on a P-P-V / Well you may think that rasslin's what you paid to see / But you just ain't as smart as that cracka Eazy-E / Everybody thinks "wrestling," they think "Travis Tritt" / and you know what the thirty bucks'll buy you is sh...." oh this ad is over.
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Motel 6 7/8, America (ha!) Online, and Moen faucets (Slogan: "When you think wrestling, think Moen faucets.") .
Local drop-in ad has Dok Hendrix encouraging us to buy tickets to see Monday Night RAW LIVE 14 September at the San Jose Arena. Man, those WWF guys are SMART.
Clip from the Tonight Show - Leno talks to his midget Hogan, and the REAL Hogan (and Bischoff) walk out through the audience.
NWO Nightcap - just shoot me now, for the love of God, I can't take this crap anymore. Eric doesn't even TRY to tell jokes this week. The "special" guest tonight is (go figure!) YOU KNOW WHO. This segment features the Tonight Show clip of Hogan and Bischoff "taking over" the Tonight Show...watch for Eric asking "does this T-shirt make me look fat?" Oh wait, that didn't actually happen, I just thought it. Hogan says Page is gonna get busted up real bad in Sturgis. Hogan calls Bischoff "the master of disaster." Hogan encourages Leno to leave Page by himself or suffer the consequences. Wasted time this week: thirteen minutes.
Another Tonight Show clip features Hogan shoving Leno.
Get wired at www.wcwwrestling.com!
Roddy Piper will be appearing on Joe Bob Briggs' MonsterVision, when "They Live" will be featured. Did anybody see "Duel" last week? Man, that movie RULES.
Let's Take a Special Look at Bret Hart - complete with black'n'white, slo-mo, bad splicing treatment!
PSYCHOSIS v. DISCO INFERNO (with crazy moire pattern shirt) - whoops, I guess I'm wrong. "I know everybody wants to see me dance, but I have a special ring introduction. This man is one of the hottest young dancers in wrestling today, like myself. [Alex Wright's theme starts] This man is one of the best tag team partners anybody can have, like myself. So here he is, baby!" And out comes TOKYO MAGNUM. Apparently on a previous edition of Saturday Night, Magnum teamed with Disco, and we're all wondering where Alex Wright went - well, no we aren't, but that's the idea. Before this match goes anywhere, SCOTT NORTON comes out and powerbombs both combatants (no contest :22) - then grabs a mic. "I guess you're probably wondering what's going on. Well since I didn't have a match tonight, I made my own. If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, in the WCW wants a piece of me, bring it on! You see I don't care, and I ain't scared." "Goldberg" chant fires up, but instead we get Goldberg victim #1, HUGH MORRUS, against the protests of Jimmy Hart. It only takes five seconds for Morrus to get HIS powerbomb.
The Treacherous Three talk some more about Bret Hart, specifically the way Hart is acting in regards to Sting. Let Us Take You Back to clips from last week where Hart talks about Sting (chuckle when he says "screwed"), and another clip from Hart running out during Sting's match ("I just wanna talk to you?" "You want to talk to me?" and Sting waffles him) and then lets Sting beat him up before NWO Hollywood makes a save.
Travis Tritt will see YOU at Sturgis! Well, actually he probably won't recognise you...
TV-PG-DV box means it's time for the SECOND HOUR! It *also* means that WCW has delivered another fine hour of NO WRESTLING (well, ok, just over four minutes)! Fireworks! Nitro Girls! Tony announces that a Grand Prize in the Nitro Party contest will be awarded next week. Tony AGAIN flubs the Mug root beer tag, "the foam goes to your brain." No, Tony, it goes **STRAIGHT** to your brain. Now get it right, dammit.
Urgent plea for Nitro Party tapes. Mail 'em in, PLEEEEEEEEEEZE.
Gene Okerlund welcomes GOLDBERG to Nitro. Why does he make a "cram it" face and hand motion while saying "Goldberg?" Is Gene a closet anti-Semite? This bears more watching. Goldberg's entrance is mercifully short. "Saturday - Road Wild - payback time! I've thrown my hat in the ring for the NWO's little battle royal for one reason and one reason only - the Giant. And I don't care WHO I have to destroy to get to him. Whether it be Hall, whether it be Nash, whether it be the Disciple, Brian Adams, I don't care, or whether it be the Franchise they call Sting. Becuase I got one thing to say, Giant, and you know what it is - you're next." (THIS IS) STING has made his way to the ring as soon as he heard his name. As they stand nose-to-nose, GIANT appears on the entranceway and asks Goldberg to come get him some. So Goldberg goes to get him some - running the gauntlet of CURT HENNIG, BRIAN ADAMS, and VINCENZO - as Giant disappears and Goldberg follows, here's BRET HART (neatly sidestepping Goldberg as he walks by) to, I guess, try to talk to da Stinger. Sting blows by Hart - he also wants a piece of Goldberg, I guess. Oh meanwhile, a pile of leaflets has fallen from the ceiling - they say "Who's Next? Goldberg - You're Next!" and have an NWO logo.
A new shirt! Kevin Nash - Big Sexy - hey, the Wolfpack order phone number is the same as the NWO Hollywood order number! Nash does the voiceover a la Shadoe Stevens on the old New Hollywood Squares.
Backstage, a camera has caught up with Sting, who has found LEX LUGER laying - another punking...Sting leaves the building and we have to wonder if there will still be a tag title match tonight...?
Sting and Luger, incidentally, are wearing the same red shirt with a wolf's head on it which looks like it could dye EVERY sock and pair of drawers you have if you mix your laundry incorrectly.
BRIAN ADAMS (with Vincenzo) v. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (with his 2x4 and his American flag) - Say what you want about Duggan, he STILL has that truckload of charisma that will get that "USA" chant going and going loud. What do these two wrestlers have in common? They were both involved in KILLER angles involving each of them getting utterly demolished at the hands of Yokozuna. If you're wondering why I stop bombarding you with trivia and simply reporting on the match, well, that's because this match is BORING and there's about five moves and I feel like demonstrating my incredible ability to dredge up memories of old WWF shows in the hopes of impressing the fine folks who come this way. Let's go to the end where it finally gets interesting. After Duggan's three point stance clothesline, Vincent comes off the top turnbuckle with the 2x4 but misses - Duggan gets the 2x4 and whacks Vincent, but Adams attacks from behind, hits a NASTY piledriver and gets the pin (3:11) and all is right with the world. Tune in next week when Duggan will be back to fighting Meng for the 40th time. No kidding, I found an old Nitro from October 1995 and Duggan was fighting Meng on THAT episode, too. The MasterLock Lock of the Night is a series of replays we didn't really need to see. Say, how many times CAN Tony say "I really don't know what's going on" during a match?
Gene O. is backstage next to an exciting door - Sting and Lex Luger apparently behind the door but they're not answering. Who should saunter by but BRET HART - "boy, it's tough about lex huh." Hart offers to be Sting's tag team partner in the match tonight - "I will NOT let him down...he can trust me." Because, you know, he really RESPECTS Sting. I don't know where this story is going, but I'm starting to like it.
Gene O. narrates the Starburst Fruit Chews Pin on a Map Road Report. Monday in Rapid City, South Dakota, and the Rushmore Center, there'll be some NITRO! Hey, why didn't they hype THUNDER! - it is on this week, isn't it? Errr, isn't it?
Can't get enough Gene O. - and here he is sittin' on a motorcycle. He's going to be in the big rally going from Denver to Casper to Sturgis. Apparently, this is a live ad for "American Ironhorse" - I don't know what it is, but if it ain't Harley-Davidson, I ain't buyin' it.
Raven video interview. I can't in good conscience be bothered to comment.
SICK BOY (with Lodi and Raven) v. - Let's look at Lodi's signs - "Sick Boy is infectious" "We hate Denver" "Lodi is way 2 cool 4 school" "Lewinsky or Flowers - you decide" Raven has the mic. "Tonight's contest between Sick Boy and Kanyon will not take place - leave Mickey Jay! Obviously, Sick Boy is here, but Kanyon has been swallowed up by the darkness. The speculation is - " pregnant pause for the 'Raven sucks' chant - "the speculation is and you better listen close Saturn, is that either Kanyon got Flocked, and is nursing his wounds in some dark dirty alley, either that or Kanyon's in a corner dive, nursing a drink with his new best friends, the rest of the Flock. Saturn, you better hope that Kanyon was the victim of Raven and a cement wall, because if not, this Saturday at Sturgis, our triangle match - you me and Kanyon - will be a handicap match." Lodi gets the mic - "Hey Saturn! After he kicks your butt on Saturday night, *I* might get a hold of you, J-brone! And I'm gonna-" Raven stops Lodi by breaking a couple of his fingers. Here's SATURN come out to advance the angle. Sick Boy and Raven exit the ring, leaving Lodi to get the rest of his fingers broken - oh and there's a Spicolli driver of course.
Gene O., still backstage and still next to that door. We see Hart and Hall in a discussion but Okerlund's mic cable isn't long enough to get there before they scatter like roaches.
Closed captioning where available provided by Compu$erve - for people too snooty to appreciate fine pro wrestling. Or even Nitro!
WCW comes to Casper *Wednesday* for THUNDER!, Rapid City for Nitro, Sioux Falls, and Fargo for THUNDER!
Clip from the Tonight Show - this particular clip has now been shown THREE times tonight.
Hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls! Heenan's back out.
Another plea for Nitro Party tapes, and Tony AGAIN butchers Mug's slogan, dammit. "The foam goes right to your brain." Hey Tony, *please* buy some glasses.
Gene O., with J.J. DILLON in tow, brings out DEAN MALENKO, who admits that last week, Chris Jericho was the better man. This, of course, brings out CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO who does some braggin'. Dillon announces that due to a loophole in the rules, he's announcing that there will be a special referee in Jericho's title defense at Road Wild, and it will be Dean Malenko. Jericho is understandibly flummoxed.
EDDIE GUERRERO v. NEVER SURRENDER JUVENTUD GUERRERA IN A "WE'RE NOT RELATED" MATCH - Juvi offers a handshake and Eddie slaps the taste out of his mouth. Juventud Guerrera is the recipient of the Cruiserweight title shot by virtue of a win against Rey Mysterio last Saturday Night - well, that explains Mysterio's title shot tonight, doesn't it? I don't know what move Juventud was trying to do, but it sure looked ugly. Juvi redeems himself with a tope suicida swandive out of the ring onto Eddie on the floor. Eddie comes back by dropping Juvi face first on the top turnbuckle. Guerrera with a DDT for 2. Springboard dropkick by Guerrera. Juvi Driver attempt is reversed into a snap shoulderbreaker. Frog splash! 1, 2, 3! And the guy who DOESN'T have the PPV match wins, breaking all laws of nature and man. (5:12)
Video package of Leno and Bischoff's dueling talk shows, including the FOURTH time I've seen some of these clips tonight.
Gene O. with another shill for the American Ironhorse - apparently, they're built to rule the road.
#2 CONTENDER LIZMARK, JR. v. STEVIE RAY for (maybe) the WCW World Television Title - Gene stops Stevie Ray in his tracks asking him what's the deal with the belt and all that. Stevie Ray provides some documents but Okerlund visibly doubts their veracity (go look it up). Funny line from Tony: "You can't fool us!" Just before the inevitable Slapjack finisher, PSYCHO CHAVO WEIRDO KLEPTO comes out wearing Stevie's Harlem Heat gloves and brandishing Stevie's notary stamp - Tony calls him "Psycho Chavo" and I think he stole that from me. Hey, Tony, if you're reading this, how about calling the damn match once in a while! Of course, I haven't done that this week either so I'm just a big hypocrite. Never mind, Tone. Oh, Lizmark Jr. wins by countout after Stevie chases after Chavo. Good for him. (3:09)
The WCW Power Plant is the Harvard of
Time for the THIRD HOUR! TV-PG-DV! FIREWORKS! Sting is still apparently long gone, and Luger is unable to fight. Makes you wonder about that big tag team title match tonight, doesn't it? Also, we'll have this match...
CURTRICK HENNIGRUDE (with Scott Norton playing the part of Rick Rude) v. KONNAN (with his damn self) - of course, we can't have the match until Konnan speaks on dis. Hennig tries to attack before the bell but it's all Konnan with fists, heads meeting the turnbuckle, hip toss, lariat and Hennig exits the ring. Back in, Hennig gets his feet in with kickin' and stompin'. Field goal kick. Into the corner, chops (woooo!) by Hennig. Tony FINALLY mentions the leaflets dropped an hour ago. Konnan comes back with the dropkick to the head. Back kick, head to the canvas. Tequila Sunrise coming up - I wonder if Norton will hit the ring - he IS up on the apron. Referee "Blind" Billy Silverman is over to caution Norton - Konnan breaks the hold (stupid) and walks over. Hennig chokes out K-Dawg with what I believe is the shoulder strap from his tights, then hits the Hennigplex and gets the pin. (2:55) KEVIN NASH is out to help out Konnan, but like, he already lost. 1-800-COLLECT provides replays.
Sting's still not in the building. Do you care?
This portion of Nitro is brought to you by Burger King.
Big Sexy Kevin Nash T-shirt ad.
Tonight Show clip. Tony says "A scene we would like to see again and again and again..." Hey, Tony, aren't you WATCHING this show?
CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO (with Juventud Guerrera's mask - oh yeah, I forgot all about that) v. REY MYSTERIO, JR. in a nontitle match - Wisely, this match is finally announced as nontitle. Jericho gets the first shots in as Mysterio enters the ring. Heenan is pretty funny talking about Mysterio's mistakes. Mysterio hits a springboard sentonbomb (well, that's what *Tenay* called it) after Jericho's outside the ring. Jericho, back in the ring, begs off - so Mysterio dropkicks him while he's on his knees. Legdrop. Ad break?!?
Promotional consideration paid for by David sunflower seeds, Dan Marino's international house of mortgages, Mead ***** School Supplies, and Disney's "The Black Cauldron."
Mysterio with a springboard moonsault for 2. Whip into the ropes, Jericho holds on, Mysterio rushes, Jericho steps aside, coming in Jericho catches him and it's a tilt-a-whirl shoulderbreaker. Jericho does the Karate kid tai chi. 1, 2, foot on the ropes. Mysterio on the apron, headbutt through the ropes, another. So Jericho dropkicks him to the floor. Jericho on the top turnbuckle - dropkick to the floor! Mysterio hits the barricade hard. Jericho's limping now. Brainbuster attempt is countered and Mysterio hits a suplex. Standing moonsault by Mysterio for 2. Big clothesline by Jericho. Jericho still limping, so he goes to the ground. KUNZE STUMP PULLER! Tenay fails to correctly spot the submission hold. To the corner - Jericho follows and hits a running splash. To another corner, Mysterio steps aside - head scissors takedown. Springboard split-legged moonsault (with a twist) for 2. Belly-to-back release suplex by Jericho to regain momentum. 1, 2, shoulder up. Mysterio to the corner, Flair-flip-a-like. Jericho jumps to dropkick him on the outside but misses and hits the floor. Reversal/reversal/reversal ends with Mysterio hitting a headscissors to bring Jericho into the ring. Jericho comes back with a double-underhook into a backbreaker. Stomp to the head. Whip, Mysterio holds on and takes Jericho's face to the canvas. Mysterio to try the huracanrana - Jericho pulls referee Mark "Shooter" Curtis in the path, and Mysterio flattens him. Jericho is ready to try the Liontamer, but Mysterio reverses - and out is DEAN MALENKO to count the pinfall! Well, it was a little fast, that count... (12:10) Jericho throws an incredible tantrum, culminating in him decking ring announcer DAVID PENZER - Good old Jericho, always willing to give ol' Penzer some television time.
Same clipfest from the dueling talk shows.
Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls!
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, where Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner talk, and then J.J. Dillon talks.
SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER walks to the ring, looking a little more serious that usual. "You know last Monday Nitro, I came out here all cocky, telling everybody how big my arms were, that the blood that flows through these veins was black and white, but that night when I got home, I got a phone call, and I'm not going to go into great detail, but my mother let me know that I'm no better than everybody else...you know there's nothing like a mother's love..." No, I ain't falling for this crap again. Steiner removes his NWO shirt. "This shirt right here is 4 life, but it's not for me. I quit." No, I ain't falling for this crap again. "This is silly...I wanna apologise to all you fans out there, and I especially want to apologise to my brother, so Ricky if you're back there, I know you're back there, come on out here, I wanna apologise in the ring." No, I ain't falling for this crap again. And as Rick Steiner's music plays - out comes BUFF BAGWELL, dressed in as Rick. "Ricky! Shake! Roll over!" Steiner feeds him treats after succesfully completing the trick. "Ricky, who was the leader of the Steiner brothers? Wait, this is my brother I'm talking to, I'll say it slower. Rick...ee...who....was..." Needless to say, Buff is pretty damn funny. He barks a lot, too. "You people are soo stupid!" No, *I* didn't fall for that crap again, Buff. Buff asks Scott to turn on the water works again and prove his tremendous acting ability, just like he did to Rick and Gene way back when. Hey, here's RICK STEINER! And with a big chairshot for his brother! Rick says something that gets muted out. Norton, Adams, and Vincent make the save but Rick is long gone.
Tonight Show clip.
Road Wild ad features - you guessed it - Tonight Show clips. Also a very gay looking Travis Tritt. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls!
Tony tells us not to worry, we'll still get our 1:45 of wrestling, one hour of Hogan - the Travis Tritt concert is BONUS!
The Voodoo Chili is on the fire, and here's YOU KNOW WHO, CRACKA EAZY-E, BOOTY DISCIPLE, NO-SMOKIN' GIANT, BRIAN ADAMS and VINCENZO - and they're just quick enough to keep Kimberly (who is a Nitro Girl) from leaving the ring. Hey, look, you can see her cheeks! Kimberly does manage to slap Bischoff before getting held back. Of course DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE comes out, but he too is held back. Bischoff says "ass" and it slips by the censors. Fans chant "Goldberg" but clearly that's not gonna happen. Bischoff keeps talking - this is bizarre. Finally Hogan gets the mic and tries to bring it back to reality by giving Page a good ass-whuppin' while Giant and Adams continue to hold him. "You know something Kimberly, why don't you walk over there and tell DDP *who your daddy is*. Giant chokeslams DDP in a most impressive fashion. Kimberly is doing her best fake crying here. "Next time you want a real man, why don't you come to Hollywood's house, cause woman, I'm the only real man for you." Hogan goes on to call himself "Daddy."
Tony: "That's the lowest point I can remember this show going." Have faith, Tony, you can ALWAYS do worse. The Awesome 3 worry about Jay Leno's safety. "If you were offended by that, you should have been." Hey Tony, what if I was offended because it was a waste of my time? Is THAT ok? Tony displays a Travis Tritt CD, later on Heenan tucks it discreetly in his vest. Heenan rules the earth.
Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight - Goldberg injects himself into the battle royale, Sting walks out, leaflets fly, Giant comes out, Bret Hart comes out...well, just read earlier in the report if you've forgotten already. Later, Luger is out and Sting is walking away.
This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by MasterLock!
MICHAEL BUFFER is out - hmmm, ten minutes left in the show...I guess it's time to get ready to rum, bull!
NO-SMOKIN' GIANT & SCOTT HALL are out. Scott's finally gotten some black and white duds. "Hey yo - [I said] hey yo!" Is it just me, or did the Giant visit Nash's house of henna'd hair? BRET HART comes out. Sign in crowd: "Why does the Hitman wear a pink triangle?" Can't BELIEVE they didn't censor that... I also can't believe they take an ad break at this point.
Roddy Piper appears on MonsterVision - SATURDAY NIGHT!
Four minutes left in the show - Sting's "Crow" music is playing - and he's dropping from the rafters! With a bat! And the red facepaint is WHITE! It's "the OLD STING!" Well, the old New Sting. As opposed to the new Old Sting, which was the Wolfpack Sting. Got it? Hart gets a shove, but apparently they ARE partners...
NO SMOKIN' GIANT & SCOTT HALL v. BRET HART & (THIS IS) STING for the WCW Tag Team Titles. Hall and Hart start - now there's two minutes left. Endless stalling, finally they lockup. Arm drag by Hart. Deep arm drag. Hart wants the tag but Sting won't even lift a hand, so Hart walks over and hits his hand. Sting is a house a fire, even giving the Giant a shot. Finally the Giant hits Sting from behind and Hall hits a lariat. Tag to Giant. Giant takes Sting apart with repeated shoves into the corner and the turnbuckles. Side Russian legsweep (from the Giant? Wow) and a tag to Hall. 1, 2, no. To the corner and a follow lariat. Stompin' by Hall. Giant chokes Sting on the rope while referee "Blind" Mickey Jay is occupied by Hart's protest - or is Hart doing it on purpose? Whip, duck, Sting jumps, but ends up in the fallaway slam. 1, 2, no. Front facelock - oh no, Tony is saying we might get answers on THUNDER! That can't bode well for this match...speaking of which, it's about time it ended. Hall pushed to Hart's corner, but Hall gets a shot on Hart, and now Hall and Sting sandwich Hart between themselves and the turnbuckle and Hart collapses and falls outside. Somehow in all this, Sting comes back with a clothesline, and a Golotta for the Giant. Clothesline and the Giant is out. Hall hits from behind. Hart has the bat - he swings - and it hits Hall! Hart looks *surprised*, though? Sting covers - Mickey Jay counts the pin - 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have new Tag Team Champions! (6:28) Oh, no, we don't - I guess somebody changed their mind, even though the ref DID count to three and ring the bell, and I SWORE I heard Buffer announce a decision...oh well. Tony says Mickey Jay reversed the decision because of the baseball bat (even though Jay didn't SEE it). Now Giant & Hall are doubleteaming Sting and Hart isn't trying very hard to get them to stop (Hart still holding on to his US title AND a tag belt) and now you can sense the "we're out of time" happening, as GOLDBERG comes out to give Giant a spear...
...I don't know either.