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/26 October 1998

WCW Nitro




Do you think that every time Schiavone turns to Heenan and says "we were there eight years ago" is because he wishes he was there now?

Last night at Halloween Havoc, somebody took a lot of stills of Bret Hart and Sting doing the thing in the ring. TV-PG-DV! Closed captioned! A lot of people didn't think this match was everything it could be, but I have to say that I thought the match was good enough. Anyway, Bret Hart is the master of the cool ending sequence and he won via duplicitous means to hold on to the coveted WCW United States Heavyweight Title.

Hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls!

LIVE 26.10.98 from the AmericaWest Arena (Slogan: "Peanut Free Zone") in Phoenix, AZ, it's WCW MONDAY NITRO! FIREWORKS! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and thelivinglegend Larry Zbyszko. Oh, what memories we have from last night's spectacular Halloween Havoc pay-per-view event. Tony starts right off by taking care of some business. "...unfortuantely, last night, an incident occured that was out of the control of World Championship Wrestling." In other words, a lot of Cable Systems automatically cut off everybody at the three hour mark - poof - unfortunately the event lasted a good twenty minutes past that and a lot of people got screwed. Faced with the fact that everybody and their mother was going to ask for their money back, they have decided to turn lemons into lemonade by GIVING AWAY FOR FREE the Goldberg/Page match tonight on Nitro. Well, kudos to them. Wait, I take it back. Listen to Tony carefully here: "Now, our competition all day would make people believe that this has been a ratings ploy - that we went off the air on purpose last night to bring you the match later on down the line as a ratings ploy, that is not the case, that is not true. And because of that, we are going to give you this, not at the end of the program - we're going to give you this at 9:00 tonight. It's the right thing to do to our great wrestling fans." HOW does he say this shit with a straight face. Hey Tony, *if it isn't a ratings ploy, put it on when RAW isn't on*. Sigh.

KENNY KAOS v. STEVIE RAY - Tenay and Schiavone are already all over themselves telling us how great WCW is for making such a fan-friendly decision and how can we be so lame to keep giving RAW ratings wins week after week. I *believe* the highlight of this match is Stevie Ray spitting all over the camera while he's talking. Actually, Kaos DOES hit a nice springboard flying clothesline for 2, but fortunately to prevent a win, BUFF BAGWELL runs out, tosses the blackjack to Stevie, who waffles Kaos with it while referee "Blind" Billy Silverman is tied up with Buff. Stevie hits the slapjack proper and it's over. (2:08). After the match, both Stevie and Buff hit a Hogan-esque legdrop. This brings out RICK STEINER (World Tag Team Champions) who chases off the NWO. If you've missed Halloween Havoc, I'll try to explain in a minute. First, Rick has the mic. He says tonight he needs to pick a partner to take on the NWO and he'd like to offer a chance to Kaos as his partner. After catching his breath, Kaos says thanks, but he's Rage's man. No, he says Rick is his idol and it would be his pleasure. This means that Kaos will turn NWO later in the night - or did Rick FINALLY find a guy who is dumber than he is? Hasbro Interactive sponsors the replay - Tony says "gotta love the glove" with a straight face.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Valvoline - you can always tell the guys who lube with Valvoline!

Diamond Dallas Page T-shirt ad.

To celebrate another record quarter hour, here are the Opening Credits! Right at the fifteen minute mark!

Exactly which circle of Hell did I descend to to have to see Kaos wrestle twice in one night?

KANYON (with Raven) v. PRINCE IAUKEA - is this the first time Raven's ever gone shirtless? Kanyon plays "call and response" with the camera and then attacks the Prince when he wasn't paying attention. Commentators say that they WON'T give away for free the end of the Hogan/Warrior match, as the content isn't suitable for TNT. (Gimme a break.) Anyway, at Halloween Havoc, Buff offered to be in Rick's corner for his match with Scott Steiner, Rick accepted even though everyone in the building (with the exception of four people - Rick and the commentary team) knew he'd turn on him. Scott Steiner made it even more exciting by suggesting a Tag Team match, himself and the Giant against Rick and Buff, and just to FUBAR it up more thoroughly, they'd put up the Tag Team titles. Well, anyway, Buff turned on Rick, who won anyway, and now THAT'S why he's got the titles. What do you MEAN there's a match going on? Ten years from now when you pull this out of the Archive you won't give a rat's ass how we got to the Flatliner (3:12) but you'll sure as hell be glad I reminded you how Rick Steiner became the World Tag Team Champions! I will tell you that Raven didn't do anything save stand around and mope, which is slightly less activity than Iaukea showed in this match.

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, You Don't Know Jack: the tabletop version, Jim Palmer's house of mortgages, THE CLUB, and Hot Pockets' ToasterBreaks Pizza, AND WCW Bashin' Brawlers (Heygetoffmy - NOSE)

WCW MasterCard ad.

UNICEF spot. Seeing Penny Hardaway reminds me that NBA players are a bunch of money-grubbing fools who are keeping me from another year of watching the Sacramento Kings go 23-59.

Hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls! And they're at the broadcast location making Tony's voice crack!

GENE O. works tonight! And he brings out the IV HORSEMEN. They didn't feel like paying Mongo tonight, so he's not out with the other four. Let's listen to the Man: "Mean woooo! Gene. The Horsemen made it through Vegas with only one casualty. Mongo's missing in action, but I'm sure he'll be here before the night's over. Now once again here we are - Phoenix Arizona, live - woooo!" Gene says Bischoff and Hollywood aren't in the building. "Well Eric Bischoff has come on some hard times as of late - trying to keep us not being together and trying to keep us off the television program. Bischoff, it's not workin', brother! The Horsemen are here, and the Horsemen are here to stay. Woooo!" Well, whaddaya know, it's good ol' CRACKA EAZY-E (I hate his new haircut, but if you've seen my hair you can guess that, eh?) "Oh, are we goin' to jail again tonight?" "Excuse me, if I could have your attention for just a moment. I have something very important that I feel needs to be said. I want the world to know that when I'm wrong, I'm a big enough man to admit that I'm wrong. Ric Flair, I have underestimated you. I didn't realise, Ric Flair, just how much that you mean to all these people here. There's no doubt in my mind, Mr. Flair, that every one of these people in this arena, people watching all over the world want to see you wrestle again. I know, I know, I'm slow but I'm not stupid. So, Mr. Flair, to show you the goodwill in my heart, the fact that I want to try to bridge this gap that exists between you and I, I'm gonna give you the opportunity that you've been lookin' for, I'm gonna give the people watching at home what they want, they want to see you wrestle, I'm going to let you wrestle. They are going to see Ric Flair wrestle on TV tonight. You heard me right. Because I want to give the fans what they want. The fans at home, from coast to coast, are going to get what they want, to see you wrestle. They will see you wrestle tonight, Ric. You're welcome, you're welcome." "I don't trust him, but I'm gonna be here, brother, dressed to kill, man. Woooo!"

Is YOUR spider sense tingling like mine is? One missing Horsemen - one match for Flair - nah.

Nitro Party submission address.

Nitro Party video. Did that guy say "arriba la racha?"

Closed captioning (where available) sponsored by Jolly Time, where real-time stenography comes with a BLAST OF BUTTER!

NWO Wolfpac T-shirt ad. I thought "Red Wolf" was a bad beer.

The Treacherous Three remind us that Goldberg/Page will be broadcast tonight. And Ric Flair will wrestle tonight (although Larry thinks Bischoff is up to something). Also tonight, Diamond Dallas Page takes on Bret Hart for the United States title (oops, I guess that gives away the ending of the Goldberg/Page match, don't it.)

Stills from last night's Hall/Nash match at Halloween Havoc. Nash hits two jackknifes (jackknives?) and then walks out, giving Hall a countout win.

ACHTUNG ACHTUNG HIER IST ALEX WRIGHT v. THE GREATEST WRESTLER ALIVE, BARRY HOROWITZ (no entrance) - Lockup, to the corner, Horowitz ducks an unclean break and executes a hiptoss. Armwringer into a headlock, Alex reverses into a 3/4 nelson suplex. European uppercut. Push into the ropes, Horowitz goes down for a Monkeyflip attempt and Wright boots him in the head. Tony: "We are probably the only organisation that realises that wrestling fans are the reason for our success." Step on the hand. To the corner, chop (woooo!), whip into the opposite corner, Horowitz puts up a shoulder. European uppercuts on *Horowitz*. Wright whip, duck, duck, Wright with a belly-to-belly suplex. Tony calls Goldberg/Page the greatest title match he's ever had the pleasure to call. Kill me now. Big spinning heel kick by Wright. Choke on the ropes. Whiplash effect after Wright goes outside to continue the choke. Back in - dropkick. Wright beat Finlay last night at Havoc. Snap suplex by Wright. Wright climbs the ropes - c'mon Barry! Yeah! Boot up and Alex EATS it! Scoop slam! Boot to the sternum! PAT ON THE BACK!!! Horowitz says "bye bye" which means it's time for Wright to come back. Dropkick to Horowitz as he straddles the rope and crotches himself. Reverse neckbreaker and it's 1, 2, 3. Horowitz was jobbed, I can hardly believe it. (2:48)

Lee Marshall narrates the Snickers Pin on a Map Road Report - next Monday the NCR Center in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida hosts Nitro!

Here's the onsale bulletin. Friday, buy tickets for Chattanooga for Nitro, Houston for Nitro, and St. Louis for Nitro. Saturday, tickets for Kansas City!

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week's Nitro Where Hogan Chaired Horace For Eleven Stitches

Let Us Take You Back to last night and stills from the Hogan/Warrior match, where Hogan won after Horace "passed the test" and chaired Warrior to ensure the win for Uncle Terry, proving that blood is thicker than water (huh?) and failing to show us the whole lighter fluid thing.

SICK BOY v. WRATH - Thank you, drive through. (Meltdown 2:52)

TV-PG-DV The Treacherous Three remind us that tonight Ric Flair wrestles, Hart and DDP for the US Title, and coming up as soon as we kill some time to make sure it's almost the top of the hour, Goldberg/Page. Let's see those second hour fireworks since it's five to the hour, why not.

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE v. (bill "154-0") GOLDBERG for the World Heavyweight Title - MICHAEL BUFFER reads a lot of names to make us think we've been transported to a boxing main event. Notice how he didn't say "main event" but "final match of the evening?" What do you MEAN you don't care about little nitpicky things like that and why would I bring it up but I can't bother to call the Sick Boy/Wrath match? Hey, put a dollar in my pocket and THEN I'll start taking YOUR suggestions, Sparky. Commentary team is the Awesome 3. Page is jacked to the moon and he scares the hell out of the commentary team, then the Internet team (Mark Madden ALMOST saw him standing right in front of him! What a professional! Then he said "we're best friends in real life, you know.") Page walks through the crowd because he's a suck-up but it isn't working...crowd chants "Goldberg" to Page's music, which is sure to piss him off. How many of you were waiting for Chucky to climb out of that giant inflatable pumpkin? In the middle of Goldberg's entrance, RAW starts. Damn that WCW brain trust is a bunch of clever dicks. Finally the match starts. Staredown, Page's jaw jacks. LOckup, Page pushed away. Repeat. Third time. Page stays in the corner. Page stretches the ropes. Lockup, armdrag by Page. Page shows off so Goldberg dares him to try it again, they lockup and slide through the ropes. Referee Mickey Jay breaks it up and everybody's back in. Crowd chants "Goldberg." Lockup, headlock by Page, top wristlock counter by Goldberg, Page legsweeps him but Goldberg backflips, Page sweeps the leg again and he goes down. Both men up, Goldberg with a shove, two gut shots and Page goes down. Fireman's carry takeover by Goldberg into a cross arm breaker - Page wraps his own legs in the rope to break the hold. Page with a jawbreaker. Forearm by Page. Scott Hall-alike bash. Page tries a Diamond Cutter but Goldberg shoves him out of the ring. Page thinks a bit, then comes back in. Lockup, arm wringer by Goldberg - Page to the bottom, drop toehold counter into a wristlock. Headlock, Goldberg powers out, knocks him with a shoulderblock and again Page leaves the ring. Trying to bring him in, Page drops to reverse with a hot shot, then comes into the ring and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Right. To the corner, 180 whip back into that corner. Russian legsweep for 2. To the front facelock. Goldberg tries to stand up and goes down. Stands up finally - dueling knees and Goldberg hits more. Goldberg with a snap swinging neckbreaker to break the hold. Right forearm smash by Goldberg. Now a kidney punch. Page runs at him but Goldberg catches his head and hits a vertical suplex. Crowd digs it. Whip into the ropes, sidewalk slam (not called by Tony). 1, 2, no. Goldberg grabs the arm and returns to the cross armbreaker. Page struggles but grabs the ropes. Goldberg with a whip, brings him up for a sidewalk slam, but Page snaps his head with a flying headscissors counter. Both men up, big side kick by Goldberg - Page back to the corner - spear coming up - Page jumps over it and Goldberg is outside with a hurt shoulder. Both men slow to come back, in fact Goldberg rolls in before Page can get up. Page to the top rope - clothesline. 1, 2, kickout. Page with a kick to the back. Whip, reverse, Goldberg manages a one-armed slam (selling that hurt arm WELL). DDP is up and motioning for the Diamond cutter - but Goldberg hits a MASSIVE spear. Both men down and the count is on. 5, 6, Goldberg shaking it off, 7, Goldberg is up. Goldberg picks up Page by the hair with his good (left) arm. Jackhammer attempt? He couldn't pick him up! Goldberg sucks it up and lifts him! But Page carries his legs over and reverses into the Diamond Cutter! Crowd goes nuts. Both men down again. 3, 4, 5, nobody moving, 6, 7, Page stirring, crawling, 8, cover, 1, 2, NO!!! Page is pissed. Page up - suplex attempt is reversed. Jackhammer, yes. 1, 2, 3. A good, fast paced match - if ALL of Goldberg's matches were like this, I (for one) might not be complaining so much. (entrance 3:29, match 10:29) Goldberg helps up Page and they embrace. Page raises Goldberg's arm and then leaves Goldberg alone in the ring to celebrate.

Tony says that the thing that's going to drive ratings isn't shock value, but competition. If anybody but Tony had said it, I'd probably agree. But I'm BIASED.

Gene O. stands in front of a door. KEVIN NASH is apparently behind the door - he consents to Gene coming in. The camera follows. Okerlund asks Nash why he didn't close that chapter of his career by pinning Scott Hall instead of walking away? Before Nash answers, we see SCOTT HALL. Nash: "Let me say something first. The reason I didn't pin you last night is because it wasn't about winning or losing. I win when I get you back as my friend and you get your life back together." Hall says last night he reached a wall, and it's time for him to change his ways. Okerlund presses the issue. Nash says it wasn't about proving a point, it was about beating some sense into him. Hall and Nash shake hands - and of course, GIANT is in to beat him up, and Hall helps. Kevin Nash is now officially as dumb as Rick Steiner. Wow! They threw him THROUGH a wall! Fade out.

Let's take a Special Video Look at the Nitro Girls.

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls!

UNICEF spot.

CRACKA EAZY-E leads out YOU KNOW WHO and his feather boa. Hogan has a new NWO weight belt. In fact, it looks like most of NWO Hollywood is out - VINCENZO, DRINKIN' SCOTT HALL, NO SMOKIN' GIANT, SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER, BUFF BAGWELL, STEVIE RAY, and lest we forget what happened last night, HORACE (boulder) HOGAN. Conspicuous by their absence: Norton, Adams, HennigRude, all the Japanese guys, NWO Sting, and Syxx. I think that covers it. Bischoff rants, Hogan rants, I keep waiting for Horace to get a beatdown. Instead he gets a shiny new NWO weight belt and T-shirt, as well as the home game. Hogan quote Voodoo Chili to see if I'm paying attention - I'm not. Hogan says "blood" about a THOUSAND times, then "4 life." The whole POINT of this segment was to give Horace a weight belt and a T-shirt. We do get a nice shot of the stitches from the chairshot, at least.

David Penzer screws up the applause countdown and we hear him trying to pump up the crowd before the break ends - oops! Bobby Heenan has joined the commentators and is absolutely convinced something is up with Bischoff as far as Flair is concerned - which must mean it actually WILL happen, 'cause Heenan is never right. Ha!

(perry) SATURN v. LWO EDDIE GUERRERO - if Eddie were really all into the raza thing, he'd get WCW to spell his first name "Eddy." Okay, I'll say it. That vest of Saturn's is REALLY - well, in pig Latin, they would say "aygay." You realise it's been about 24 minutes since we've had some wrestling? Lockup, into a waistlock by Saturn. Eddie counters with an arm wringer and Saturn hits the mat. Armbar continues. Saturn with a belly-to-belly suplex to break that hold. "Eddie sucks" chant, much to Eddie's dismay. Lockup, headlock, they run the ropes and Saturn hits a shoulderblock. Guerrero complains of a hair pull. Nice dropkcick to the knees by Eddie. Big-time stomping on the knees, Eddie goes outside and hits his trademark flying somersault headbutt on the knee (I have missed that move). Guerrero back to the outside, where he pulls the knee against the bottom rope and jumps to the floor. Back in, forearm smash. Chop (woooo!) Right hand. Whip into the ropes, belly-to-belly suplex by Saturn. Again Eddie dropkicks the knee after Saturn stops to gingerly move. Whip, reverse, but as Saturn holds onto Eddie high up for the military press, Eddie holds on and there's an armdrag. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie for 2. Whip, reverse, flapjack by Saturn for 2. Whip into the corner but Eddie puts up an elbow to stop Saturn. Tornado DDT attempt is reversed into a slam with a bridge by Saturn for 2. Vertical suplex attempt is reversed into a - I don't know, let's say reverse victory roll for 2. Dueling attempts ends with Saturn hitting a T-bone Tazplex for 2. Someone told me that this wasn't a Michinoku Driver, it was a Falcon Arrow, so let me call that right. Falcon Arrow. Saturn motions for the Spicolli Driver but DAMIEN and HECTOR GARZA are in to cause the DQ - hmm, is THAT was the LWO is about? Imitating the NWO? Guerrero tells Saturn he can kiss it as Garza and Damien hold him. Eddie comes off the ropes, Saturn ducks and back body drops Guerrero over the top rope to the floor. Saturn has no problems with Garza and Damien because they're jobbers. Those are some nice overhead suplexes, though. Here's EL DANDY, here's PSYCHOSIS, no problem. LA PARKA is out. Here's another guy we don't recognise - DIABLO MIO! ESTA ES CARLOS SANTANA! Well, maybe not. But whoever it is hits a nice brainbuster, followed up by Eddie's frog splash. If I didn't know better (and I don't), I'd say it was a Guerrero relative I haven't met yet.

Gene O. is out with JUDY BAGWELL. Shouldn't she be home in Georgia? Well, let's let that go. She says that Marcus has really let her down bad and she can't believe he'd trick her like that. He hurt her, he hurt her bad. They're not going to put up with this any longer. She's a mother on a mission and she's tired of being nice. (I hear boos.) "I love Marcus Bagwell with all my heart, but I've had enough of Buff!" You can almost hear a pin drop. Hey, what did I say about Judy? What did I say? Did you believe me? Well, now you know. Taebo.

THUNDER! ad. It'll be live this Thursday (a night which will also see the World Premiere of Austin/McMahon on Celebrity DeathMatch!) on TBS.

World War 3 comes to Pay Per View 22 November! This is Promo #1!

Another UNICEF spot. You know what's great about these? SARAH JESSICA PARKER'S CLEAVAGE! No, no, I meant THERE'S NO WCW INFLUENCE OF ANY KIND IN THEM! (shrug) Maybe both.

NO SMOKIN' GIANT & STEVIE RAY v. RICK STEINER & KENNY KAOS (without Ted DiBiase) for the World Tag Team Championship - Must be a nice Power Plant perk to wear the belt even if just for a night. Kaos and Stevie start. Let's see after Stevie Ray wiped the mat with him to start the show, now it's all Kaos to start. Stevie whips Kaos into the Giant's boot to turn the tide. Big-time stompin' by Stevie Ray now. Atomic drop. Tag to the Giant. Chop (woooo!). Commentators say Rick is stupid for not starting this match, and they're right. Is Kaos bleeding from the mouth? Giant picks him up and put him on his shoulder. Kaos tries to get the bellringer to get out but he's still being held. Hmm, Giant is backing into the wrong corner, though. Rick tags and hits a Steinerline. Another. Whip into the his partner's corner. Stinger splash! Hmm, Giant should reach over and tag. Rick whips him into the opposite corner, no Giant reverses and runs into him. I guess he was never really not in control. Boot to the neck. Whip into the opposite corner. Rick puts HIS boots up, then hits a top rope Steinerline. 1, 2, 3 - except referee "Blind" Scott Dickinson didn't hit the three. Stupid Giant kicks out too late. Commentators scramble to cover, sure. Anyway, the kickout put Steiner outside the ring. Stevie Ray meets him there and punches away. I think Stevie Ray is actually in charge of calling this match (I caught signals a few times), which is interesting if not a LITTLE scary. Double whip, Giant walks over to take care of Kaos, Steiner ducks a clothesline and backbodydrops Stevie Ray. Bulldog from the top (very sloppy) and there's the 1, 2, 3. (3:18) Dreadful match. They play up that Giant walked away from his partner - whatever. Can you tell they cooked up this match about an hour before showtime?


Tonight, Flair wrestles. Hart and Page wrestle in the same match. How about some more ads? After all, that Goldberg match was almost a quarter hour with no ads! Gotta make up time!

When we come back, CRACKA EAZY-E has replaced Tenay at the commentary table. Heenan and Schiavone exchange quizzical looks as Bischoff promises to give us Flair wrestling - oh, but it's video footage. Crowd chants "We want Flair" as we move to

THE MAN (with Sensational Sensuous Sista Sherri) v. YOU KNOW WHO (with James Hart) - this was the main event of Bash at the Beach 1994. Referee is Randy Anderson. Commentators are Schiavone and Hogan. That's about all I feel like saying about this assemblage of clips. I'll say this for Bischoff, he's surprised me. I never DREAMED this would be what we'd get tonight. Not that that's necessarily a good thing. Amazingly, before our very eyes Randy Anderson turns into Nick Patrick! Hey, there's Mr. T! Hey, there's Shaquille O'Neal! I thought I'd NEVER hear "American Made" again. Schiavone: "Hulkamania lives in World Championship Wrestling!" Zimmerman: "There's five minutes of my life that I'll never get back!"

Bischoff says that that footage just shows that Flair will always be Second Fiddle to Hollywood Hogan.

NEVER SURRENDER JUVENTUD GUERRERA v. KIDMAN for the World Cruiserweight Championship - what seems fair to you, that Disco Inferno has to beat Juventud Guerrera in order to get a title shot ON THE SAME NIGHT, or that Juventud Guerrera has to get beaten by Disco Inferno in order to get a title shot THE NEXT DAY? This is match #1824723 in that exciting series between these two folks. Staredown and Juvi pushes him, which amuses Kidman. Lockup, gobehind by Juvi, reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse, I guess you had to be there. Kidman , no reverse, leapfrog, over we go, reverse, reverse, Guerrera with a flying head scissors. Finally some action! Kidman tries to dump him over the rope but Juvi gives him ten heads to the turnbuckle while standing on the apron. Juvi on the top rope - Kidman hits him in the thigh and climbs to the top. But no superplex - Juventud pushes him off. Top rope flying head scissors for 2! Chop (woooo!) Vertical suplex for 2. To the rear chinlock, whew. Kidman hasn't hit anything yet. Whip, reverse, Juvi goes up and catches him in a rollup for 2. Kidman FINALLY hits a move - belly-to-back into a slam. Dueling hiptosses - Juventud with a Rocker dropper. 1, 2, no. Whip, reverse, flying head scissors - no Kidman stops him and throws him over his head powerbomb style. 1, 2, no. Heenan gives a shout out to Mark Curtis. Again Kidman tries the same move, but Juventud turns it into a bulldog for 2. Juventud climbs to the top, Kidman is up - plancha for 2. Juventud climbs the ropes again, but this time Kidman puts up a dropkick on Guerrera's way down. And now Kidman is going to fly - no, Guerrera crotches him on the turnbuckle. Top rope huracanrana - 1, 2, no! Powerbomb attempt countered by Kidman into a Tigerbomb (or is it a Ligerbomb? I forgot. Kidman to the top - SHOOTING STAR PRESS! 1, 2, 3 (5:55) Good for him.

This portion of Monday Nitro is brought to you by Snickers!

I heard David Penzer pump up the crowd again.

Two videos in the WCW/NWO Superstar Series are prominently displayed - Sting and Randy Savage are the subjects of these limited edition videotapes. Heenan tries to lift one (just like I wanted him too - Heenan rules) but Schiavone has finally wised up to that ruse.

SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER & BUFF BAGWELL are out to crap up this hour - take a sip every time Scott says "freaks," then finish it when he says "hookup." Bagwell says lots of freaky sexist stuff. Steiner calls out J.J. DILLON and demands a rematch with his brother. Is Dillon wearing Sally Jessy Raphael red glasses tonight? Steiner accuses Dillon of having a Rick bias as far as Steiners are concerned. Dillon demurs. Steiner asks why the Steiner match ended with a different referee than the one who started the match? Dillon doesn't own up but said that had he been in the situation, he would have been the guy to send out the second ref. So that's good enough for Steiner, and he kicks him, then Bagwell clocks him in the back. And now the Steiner recliner is on. Let's go to an ad break, quick.

World War 3 promo #2.

WWF San Jose house show ad in the local block.

That familiar music plays (unfamiliar to the commentators, apparently) - will he come out? Yup, it is indeed MR. DESTRUCITY - and all of us who hoped that he was gone will have to wait just a bit longer, apparently. Arizona, that's like the home state of the Parts Unknown Warrior Gym & House of Chicken, isn't it? "Speak to me Waryrs!" Smart move to put him in front of a home crowd. I hear a FEW boos but not as many as usual. Warrior's out of breath, ha. "Last night, Hogan, you had the opportunity to face the challenge like a man, and you failed." (gasp gasp) "Last night Hogan, you had the opportunity to set a fire with but one match what will now haunt you forever! You see, Hogan, there's a difference between beating someone up and genuinely having beat a man. And the whole world of Waryrs knows I beat the hell out of you last night. And the bull(mute) pinfall doesn't change it. You have opened the door to the Waryr's hell, and I am its gatekeeper. The time is near, same Waryr time, same Waryr place, same Waryr channel." YOU KNOW WHO powerwalks to the ring. Shirts and jackets are removed. HORACE HOGAN and CRACKA EAZY-E hold back Hogan. Horace will take him on, I guess. One punch, he goes down. Repeat. Whip, reverse, duck, clothesline by Warrior. Backbodydrop over the top rope. Now GIANT is in. Warrior ducks the boot and clotheslines HIM out of the ring. Finally Hogan comes in and attacks from behind. He has a brief fling with control before whipping him so Warrior can duck HIM as well, duck a second time. FLying shouldertackle and Hogan goes down. Here's a free shot for Bischoff as well! Now Warrior is alone in the ring. Tenay gushes, "That's the way to jumpstart a Revolution in wrestling!" Warrior proclaims himself the power, and the Warrior. Sigh.

Promotional consideration paid for by Electronic Hot Shot Basketball, Dan Marino's House of Mortgages, WCW Bashin' Brawlers (you'rebustinmy - ARM!), America (ha!) Online, Tiger SportsFeel Electronic Games, and the Clinton Growing Nose Watch

SCOTT STEINER & SCOTT HALL v. KONNAN & THE NARCISSIST - Hey, I already had to see Scott Steiner tonight, mercy, mercy! Let me say right now that that Konnan music video sucks rocks on a stick. Wolfpackers start right out on the attack before the bell. Steiner manages to turn the tables on Konnan so Luger walks over and helps out Konnan. Meanwhile, Hall is no problem for the Total Wolfpackage. Luger goes through his extensive array of moves, including the big clothesline, the big punch, and the big atomic drop. Steiner has Konnan in the Recliner on the outside, meanwhile. And now there's a chair, and there's Konnan's head meeting the chair. Hall and Luger are outside now. So I guess Steiner and Konnan have to go back in the ring. Steinerline! Hall meets the barricade. Konnan manages to put him down. Now Konnan is taking Steiner closer to the other two men. This match - no, using the word "match" just doesn't seem right. Back in the ring, Luger with a big clothesline and a big punch. I saw Luger call a spot! It's the big Ace toolbox elbow! After motioning for the big Torture Rack, Steiner decides his choke on Konnan was good enough to keep him down and so he enters the ring to help Hall with Luger. It takes a Golotta to finally put Luger down. Konnan is in with a chair. Chairshot for Steiner. Konnan and Hall are going at it - Luger with the big chair to Hall. Another big chairshot. Luger puts Hall in the big Torture Rack, but Steiner manages to break it up with a spear. Well, let's take an ad break since this won't end and never got started. (no contest, 4:30ish)

DDP BANG T-shirt ad #2.

MICHAEL BUFFER is out to collect his cheque. I really wonder if I can make it through one more match. That one guy in the crowd behind Buffer in this shot was really fun to watch. Of course, Page walks out through the crowd 'cause he's a suck-up. Hart comes out to some new music, which is cool. He is not wearing an NWO shirt. He hasn't appeared with the NWO at all tonight. But I guess I'm not supposed to remember - eh, whatever. This SHOULD be a good match. DDP with the trip to start. Lockup, Hart rolls him up for 2. Lockup, arm wringer by Page, to the wristlock, reversal into a wristlock by Hart, Hart grabs a foot and Page is down on the mat. We haven't yet hear anything about Sting's condition. Page manages an armdrag of his own and then hits a schoolboy for 2. Everybody back up. Hart is mouthing away. Lockup, headlock by Page. To the ropes, power out, shoulderblock by Page, over, hiptoss attempt is reversed into a swinging neckbreaker for 2 by Page. To the corner, Page tries for the ten punch count along but Hart drops him facefirst on the top turnbuckle. Hart with a stomp. Headbutt to the lower abdomen. Punches in bunches by Hart. Foot on the throat using the ropes for leverage, break at 4. Hart gives a "what?" shrug to the crowd and meets Page when he turns around. Page pounds him but after a whip into the opposite corner, Hart gets up the boots. Big lariat to followup. Kneerake of the face. Choke on the second rope for 4. Page punches him in the gut, so Hart rakes his face again. Foot in the lower abdomen. Hart with the world-famous side Russian legsweep for 2. Rear chinlock is on, now the feet are on the ropes for leverage. Refere "Blind" Mickey Jay asks Hart if he's using the ropes and the cameraman nods yes - HA! Good one, cameraman. Page is finally up and elbowing out of the hold. Hart simply DDT's him. Bret Hart has come all the way back - back to the #1 wrestler I enjoy watching. 1, 2, no. Hart argues with Jay who goes ballistic. Page with shots to the gut. Now the punches are to the head. 360 lariat and Hart goes down. Flapjack for 2. (Should have piledriven him there, I think.) Page is going to climb - Hart runs over and crotches him as he bounces off the rope. Hart with a shot - now Hart is climbing - second rope - TOP ROPE - SUPERPLEX! It would be a crime for Page to take the belt here. 1, 2, Page gets the shoulder up. Page manages a surprise small package but only gets 2. Both men up slow, Hart with a kick and a punch, another punch, whip to the opposite corner - Page sidesteps him and tries the schoolboy again - 1, 2, no! Page held the tights! I think. Hart with a forearm smash to the back and some more words for the ref. Side backbreaker across the knee. To the second rope, there's the elbowdrop. 1, 2, he's up! I think that was a three count and Jay covered. THIS SPORT IS RIGGED! IT'S FIXED I TELLYA! Hart again brings Page to his feet so he can floor him with a punch, then tells Jay it was an open hand. Hart rules the earth. Vertical suplex - attempt is blocked - Page takes him down in an arm bar, but lets go inexplicably - then tries a pin and Hart is up. Page with the jawbreaker. Page is up - Hart's head meets the turnbuckle, again, three, reverse Golotta hits not only Page but Jay! Hart rolls to the outside and the international object is out (knux). After first checking the ref, Hart advances on Page - but runs RIGHT into the Diamond Cutter! 1, 2, 3. Shit. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new United States Champion. (10:48) Fortunately, Hart gets in a shot on Page with the knux for revenge. Then Jay gets one as well. Hart goes outside for a chair. Back in - POINT of the chair on Page's knee. Bigtime chairshot to Page's knee. More shots directly to the knee with the point of the chair. And here's the Scorpion Deathlock. Page is screaming like a little girl. Take that, Page. THAT'S what you get for taking my man's belt! One more chair to the back of the knee. And another one with the point of the chair. Hart is VICIOUS. Hart to the second rope - point of the chair STRAIGHT to the knee. Here's GOLDBERG running to the ring - let's fade out NOW before he gets there and something interesting happens! This is WCW!

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