/10 November 1998
It's a Special Edition of WCW Nitro! Take a drink every time you see the
word "Monday" even though it's TUESDAY, 10.11.98 (but taped 9.11.98) from
the Nassau Colesium in Uniondale, Long Island, NY, rated TV-PG-DV and
Closed Captioned on the TNT Network. FIREWORKS!
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan. Tenay says he wishes we could have Nitro seven days a week, and Heenan almost leaps across the desk to throttle him. We've only got an hour tonight and the crowd is ancy, let's quickly get it started!
EL DANDY v. REY MYSTERIO, JR. - Dandy attacks before the bell and takes the advantage for about two seconds. Rey slides through, turns the tide, and hits a lot of neat moves that I don't feel like figuring out on my day off. Besides, is there ANY doubt who's gonna win this match? Top rope Frankensteiner off a springboard - 1, 2, he pulls him up? Whoops, the LWO is out (DQ 1:16) in the personage of DAMIEN and HECTOR GARZA. Sheesh, if I had known it was going to be THAT short I might have given you some real play-by-play - and then felt bad about wasting my time later. To even things up, KIDMAN comes out and climbs the turnbuckle - but the missile dropkick hits *Mysterio* by mistake (and totally flattens him, by the way). LA PARKA shows up too late to add anything to this party, Mysterio and Kidman exchange glares one more time - hmm, is this setting up an issue you think maybe? And then everybody kinda walks off.
This portion of WCW Monday Nitro (he said MONDAY again!) is brought to you by 1-800-COLLECT!
Tickets go on sale Friday for THUNDER! in Charlotte, Washington for Starrcade, Baltimore for Nitro, and Philadelphia. The return trip to Uniondale will go on sale Saturday.
Let Us Take You Back to Last Night where Rick Steiner makes a World Tag Team Match and replaces his previous partner of choice (Kaos) with a somehow even lamer choice (Judy Bagwell) against the formidable team of White Thunder-er, Big Poppa Pump and Buff (is the Stuff) Bagwell. Who do you suppose the NWO'ers will bring to the ring as their referee?
SICK BOY v. PERRY SATURN, A VERY HANDSOME MAN - Saturn's FINALLY been awarded his first name - the result of countless courtroom battles and the wringing of thousands of pairs of hands. "Hey Saturn, thanks a lot for freeing me from the Flock - please kick my ass now." Superkick, punch, kick, kick, kick, kick - say, those are very HANDSOME kicks! Whip, reversal, hiptoss attempt is flocked - er, blocked, double underhook overhead slam. Sick Boy FINALLY gets an offensive move in by dropping Saturn's neck on the top rope as he falls to the floor. Springboard missile dropkick! Tony almost sounds bored calling this match. Must have forgotten what he could have been hyping as an alternative. Actually, it's funny listening to Tony (on Monday) trying to act like it's Tuesday. Sick Boy, after a lot of punches, hits a move that's an awful lot like Mero's TKO only Saturn lands 180 degrees of where Mero would have dropped him. INstead of going for the pin, Sick Boy punches some more. Saturn tries a whip, but Sick Boy springs off with a back elbow. Vertical suplex. Feet on the top rope - 1, 2, referee "Usually Blind" Scott Dickinson won't continue the count. Saturn hits a T-bone Tazplex, scoop and a slam - he's on the top - HUGE elbowdrop. Spicolli driver - thank you, drive through. Huh, what's he gonna do now...hey look, the Rings of Saturn hold is back! NOW we're over. (3:44)
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, You Don't Know Jack tabletop game, Jim Palmer's House of Mortgages, the CLUB, WCW Bashin' Brawlers ("Yousmashedmy - HEAD!"), and Tiger SportsFeel Electronic Games.
Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! And I got nothin'.
DISCO INFERNO v. BOOKER T. - Disco asks everybody to shake the hand of the person next to them, because they have set a record - the record for most scumbags in one building at one time. I guess tonight he's a heel. Gee, it wouldn't have *killed* them to have a matchup like this LAST night - maybe during that one match second hour? Did I miss it or did they not have any of that cool fire pyro for Booker tonight? No, no, we can't spend money on a TUESDAY show. Is this the third match in 25 minutes? Damn, I'm getting spoiled and stuff. "Feeling out process." Lockup, to the corner - clean break. Booker's laughing at the man. There's that trademark Booker shout ("uhhhh!") Lockup - no BOoker kicks him, forearm, rights and lefts, choke? That's not very sporting of the man. Off the ropes, duck, BIG flying jalapeno for a near fall. Armwringer and another shout out. T wrenches it in, reversal, reversal, high kick and Disco takes a powder outside the ring. Back in he goes - lockup, side headlock by Mr. T. Disco powers out but Booker T shoulderblocks him as he comes back. Disco tries a hiptoss but nothing doing - big clothesline by Booker T. Disco again leaves the ring and calls time out. T pulls him back in by the hair (oh no!) so Disco drops him hot shot style to counter. He's quickly back in - Kick to the gut, swinging neckbreaker for 2. Didn't that use to be one of his finishers? Elbowdrop - to the second rope, boogie, forearm from the second rope for 2. Disco applies the rear chinlock. They're up, elbow, elbo, elbow out, Sunset-flip-alike by T for 2. Disco hits a forearm smash but hesitates so he only gets 2. Disco dances, then puts the boots to him. Axehandle to the chest. Tony calls Heenan a "jarhead." Chinlock again, elbows out again, T goes behind and hits the axe kick. Belly-to-back suplex, breakdance out, Harlem sidekick, that's it. Forearm shot, whip, reversal, atomic drop by Disco! Disco quickly to the ropes - he's off for a double axehdanle, but T catches him and delivers a MONSTER spinebuster - he tries to roll over but gets stuck in midair (huh?) but still manages to hold him down for the 3 count. (5:14) Hasbro Interactive brings you the replay - you gotta love that glove. No I don't! Heenan makes fun of T's noncover cover.
Hey, look! It's the Nitro Girls! Didn't I see this last night? While hyping first day ticket sales, the name "Curt Hennig" is dropped. Guess he's still around...
FIT FINLAY v. STEVE McMICHAEL - On his way to the ring, Finlay uses the "I'm a heel tonight" word "scumbags," just so's we know. You can almost hear the crowd's demeanor sour from the time the opening strains of the Horseman theme plays...to the time they notice that the Horseman in action tonight is Mongo. Tonight is the battle of the Tombstone piledrivers, a fact which the commentators are quick to completely miss out on, but that's why I'm here, I guess. Lockup, Mongo shoves him away. Lockup - no Finlay ducks and give him a knee, a big elbow, an European uppercut. Shot to the face. To the corner, whip out, Mongo puts up a boot. Right hand. Holy shit, Tenay said "battle of the Tombstone piledivers!" Props to Iron Mike! Slam for 2. Crowd is completely distracted by goings on elsewhere. Finlay holds the rope, McMichael pulls him into the center of the ring and Finlay flies, hitting his back on the way down. Finlay regains the advantage with a devious Stooges eyepoke. Huge chop (woooo!) fells the big tree. Elbowdrop for 2. Nervehold by Finlay, which is punctuated by a grab of the palate. Yeah! Referee "Blind" Scott Dickinson forces him to break the hold, so he stomps on his hand. Head to the turnbuckle, repeat, throat shot. Bodyslam - Vaderbomb is BLOCKED with the knees. Mongo with a right, here's an elbow and the man is down. Stomp, stomp. European uppercut (by MONGO?) Kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, right hand, Finlay is a little unhappy. Another eyepoke by the veteran. European uppervut but Finlay. Double stomp! Finlay rules the world! Too bad he's losing tonight. Whip, Mongo kicks him, Finlay with the shoulderblock. Finlay with the forward roll slam(tm). Finlay, unfortunately, misses Mongo in the corner and hits the post shoulder-first. Tombstone by Mongo, who sucks by the way, and there's 1, 2, 3. (4:18)
Later tonight, Goldberg vs. Meng, and Hogan speaks! And I don't listen!
The Awesome 3 talk about the most recently declared candidate for the High Office of President of the United States. Jesse Ventura is namedropped again. Tony goes out of his way to let us know that Hogan is serious about this run, which is like saying I'm serious about using the Nitro Recap as a stepping stone to Jeff Katz' job. Let Us Take You Back to Last Night where Hogan does that thing and pretends to be that guy, and I hit fast forward because it sucked last night, and Lord knows it reeks even more if you leave it out on the windowsill for nigh 24 hours. Looks like they run the whole segment, too - man, I should fast forward more often!
Promotional consideration paid for by Electronic Hot Shot Basketball, WCW Bashin' Brawlers ("Heygetoffmy - NOSE!"), America Online (hit CTRL-Reload to get past their crappy web cache servers), Hot Pockets' ToasterBreaks Pizza, XG2 from Acclaim. THANK God we got all twelve sponsors in with only one hour instead of three!
THIS portion of WCW Monday (Monday?) Nitro is brought to you by Valvoline - if you're gonna get reamed by a fourth hour of Nitro, you better make sure you're lubed up with Valvoline!
World War 3 promo.
Since I have you here, let's take a Flashback - to the Main Event of Nitro, 10 August:
(bill "130-0") GOLDBERG v. #1 CONTENDER MENG for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship - Meng to the face, openhand thrusts, knife-edge chops, all for nought - Goldberg with a - well, a something. And a kick. Meng goes outside and NWO Hollywood urges him on. Hall makes the "Tongan death grip" hand signal. Goldberg with a kneelift. Right. Men with a right, and a chop. Goldberg with a kick, and a takedown/leg scissors. Hold is broken for no reason. Goldberg runs into a big kick and falls out into NWO Hollywood, who promptly triple-team him while referee "Blind" Nick Patrick is busy with Meng. The Wolfpack runs over and brawls with the black'n'white and Goldberg comes back in the ring - to the Tongan Death Grip! His shoulders are down! Patrick's not counting! Meng's an IDIOT and he's released the grip! Now Goldberg's up and there's a spear. Jackhammer. Sigh. 1, 2, 3. (entrance 2:30, match 2:07) Hogan's got a chair and he's stalking outside the ring to get in behind Goldberg. Now he's in. Chairshot! Nash is in and pulls the chair away from Hogan. Of course, Goldberg turns around and sees Nash - whoops, he thinks Nash waffled him. Spear for Nash. Whoops, it's 11:04. Good night everybody!
Hmm, whatever happened to that Goldberg/Nash thing anyway?
Hey, look! It's the Nitro Girls! Looking at those pink suspenders for maybe the third time over the past two nights, I'm reminded of Martin Fry's story about flushing his gold lame (la-MAY) suit the toilet prior to ABC's greater successes as a New Wave 12" single Machine. Ah, skip it. The Main Event is NOW!
#1 CONTENDER MENG v. (bill "159-0") GOLDBERG for the World Heavyweight Title - Tenay uses the word "ascension" during that long walk. What, like Elijah for cryin' out loud? Now by the time Goldberg's in the ring, there's about 90 seconds left in the hour. Needless to say, I'm not expecting much in this match. Lockup, nope, Lockup, nope. Did Goldberg do a pec flex there? Lockup, Side headlock by Goldberg, Meng pushes him out, they collide in the ring, and neither man moves. Meng dares him to run the ropes, Goldberg fakes it and clothesline him. Hey, that was pretty funny. Lockup, rake of the face, Meng is all over him and accomplihshes nothing. Whip to the opposite corner, they collide in the middle with a clothesline each and nobody moves. Another rake of the face, whip, Goldberg holds the rope and the dropkick misses. Goldberg comes out with a clothesline (or is it a punch in the chest?) Meng is up, there's another one. Goldberg runs into a kick of Fear, but pops right up and sticks out his tongue. Well, there's the spear, here's the jackhammer - fans, I am despearately out of time. (entrance 2:36, match 2:04) Stay tuned for "CHiPs '99," coming up NEXT on Turner Network Television! I'll see YOU next Monday!