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/24 November 1998

WCW Nitro Xtra




Are you kidding me? ANOTHER hour of Nitro graces my television screen, rated TV-PG-DV and closed captioned for the hearing impaired (what?), not to mention airing 24.11.98 (but taped 23.11) on TNT! We're still at the Van Grundyham Arena in Grundy Rapids, MI and your hosts are STILL Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan. And, hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls! Good thing they pre-empted "King of the Hill" this week! Tony: "Do not adjust your set - it's not Monday - it's Tuesday! But Nitro is on the air! It's one hour of NITRO XTRA here on TNT!" That Tony knows how to get a party started right, he gets a party started quickly. Tonight, FIREWORKS! and also Stevie Ray, Juventud Guerrera, Wrath, and Scott Norton, not necessarily in that order. TNT BRINGS US THE GREATEST WRESTLING ACTION IN THE WORLD! The Awesome 3 talk about Goldberg's manhandling of the Giant (or, as I like to call him, "Vader") and then quickly switch to a foreshadowing of Hollywood Hogan's appearance on Thursday's edition of the Tonight Show.

KAZ HAYASHIRYU v. (BIG) SCOTT (FLASH) NORTON (THE IWGP CHAMPION) in a nontitle match - nobody's said anything about why that Norton/Booker T match didn't take place at World War 3, but I bet we find out later that New Japan vetoed it. Remember, I speculated on it first. Actually, no one cares. That Kaz, he really would have been better off in Kai en Tai in the WWF, wouldn't he? I mean, in the WWF he'd only have to job to, say, Golga. Hayashi dropkick is brushed off, chop (woooo!), powerbomb, 1, 2, 3. (:22) Norton says that maybe next time they should put a damn Heavyweight in there with him. He's got a point. Replays take longer than the match, in case you're interested. Graphic on the screen says "WCW *MONDAY* NITRO" and I can't *wait* to point it out to you.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by SNICKERS! IT'S FOR GUYS WHO LIKE NUTS!

POLISH PIRATE SCOTT PUTSKI v. DISCO INFERNO - Lockup, scoop and a slam by Putski, who I believe is winless in the history of Nitro, because he's NEVER hit that Polish hammer. Disco with an armdrag and a boogie. Putski is up, here's a Ligerbomb (wow!) and man, his back hurts now. Slap by Putski (woooo!), punching which brings in referee "Blind" Billy Silverman to help facilitate the break - so Disco charges and kicks Swinging neckbreaker. Head to the buckle. Kicking away, atomic drop, lariat, it's all Disco baby. Disco poses to the crowd. Snapmare - to the rope, pose, he STILL hits the forearm smash anyway - that's how bad Putski is. Disco with a sleeper, Putski elbows out and punches some more, whip, reversal, kick, duck the clothesline, sleeper, gobehind and suplex by Putski. Putski punches to the head again. Chop (woooo!), whip, picks him up and lets him fall. Putski to the corner, whip out, runs into an elbow, Disco runs and into a powerslam. 1, 2, no. To the corner, whip out to the opposite corner. Tony: "I've been to every Starrcade but one." Bobby: "Where were you?" Tony: "I was elsewhere." Bobby: "Do I know her?" Putski with belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Whip off the ropes, Disco goes behind, kick, piledriver by Disco, 1, 2, 3, whoops it's over. (3:27) Putski should have pulled out his Polish hammer - I think that's what Missy Hyatt said once. (Since Hyatte doesn't do Nitro Xtra I get to use that joke this week.)

WCW goes to Augusta, Johnson City, Knoxville, and on sale for Atlanta's SUPERNitro!

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, You Don't Know Jack: Tabletop Version, Jim Palmer's house of mortgages, Superman Plays Polo for Nintendo, the CLUB, and Tiger SportsFeel electronic games. Hey baby, wanna SportsFeel?

TOKYO MAGNUM v. CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. (con Pepe) - did you see Eddie and Chavo working together during that World War 3 battle royal? No? Well, neither did the commentators, so don't feel too bad. Lockup, no. Walkin' around. Lockup, Chavo goes behind, arm wringer, Tokyo rolls out and puts on an arm wringer of his own. Chavo rolls out, back and forth, lots of that mat wrestling stuff that bores the crowd silly but I don't mind. Chavo with the WET WILLIE, then he smells his finger. Ewww. Lockup after it's all said and done, side headlock by Chavo, off the ropes to power out, shoulderblock by Chavo. Back and forth we go again, Chavo with a droptoehold, ANOTHER Wet Willie. Standing dropkick by Chavo, Magnum rolls out and now he's riding around on Pepe, which is supposed to be amusing. Commentators are talking about J.J. Dillon, then Eric Bischoff. You miss nothing. Back in, kick by Magnum, pount, chop (woooo!), repeat (woooo!), whip, nice dropkick. Boot between the shoulderblades. Snapmare by Tokyo, Hennig-like snap of the head. Magnum tries a pelvic thrust, but Chavo doesn't want to go there. Magnum does some dancing. Boot to the head. Up and down with the slam. More posing, second rope, moonsault! 1, 2, no. Back to the boots. Chavo counters and goes behind, kick, standing switch, standing switch, off the ropes, lariat by Chavo and CHAVO is dancing. Head meets turnbuckle in the corner. Chop by Chavo (woooo!). Whip out to the opposite corner, STINGER SPLASH! Springboard bulldog by Chavo, very nice. Chavo with the cabbage patch. Belly-to-back into a brainbuster by Guerrero, but Magnum kicks out at 2. Chavo with kind of an upright rings of Saturn. Chavo drapes him over the ropes, chops him (woooo!), whip off the rope, spinning wheel kick, step on the face and spin by Chavo. "Pepe" chant. Dropkick by Chavo while holding Pepe. Chavo has referee "Blind" Scott Dickinson pet Pepe before putting him back. But now Tokyo's firing back, now they're trading blows. Scoop and a slam by Chavo - elbowdrop - 1, 2, no. Now he's arguing to the count. Right hand by Chavo, whip, Tokyo slides under gs, Chavo ducks a punch but can't escape the kick. Near fall for Tokyo. He keeps the boots on him. Chop (woooo!), repeat (woooo!), into the corner, whip, reversal, Tokyo sidesteps the splash and he hits the turnbuckle with his head. Chavo placed on the ropes, Top rope Frankensteiner misses when Tokyo forgets to take Chavo with him. Tornado DDT finds the mark, 1, 2, 3. Nice little match, that. (8:15)

STEVIE RAY (with Vincenzo) v. FAR OUT VAN HAMMER - "You know, last night I knocked out TWO guys - tonight I only got one." Hammer has new crappy meditation music. Lockup, to the corner, no clean break as Ray punches away. Blatant choke. Hammer turns the tide with some other non-wrestling manoeuvres. Vincent is up and he actually gets in a facerake and hot shot because Hammer's more of a jobber than even Vincent. Ray executes a snapmare, which I *believe* is the first wrestling move of the match. Hammer's out of the ring, Vincent pops him in full view of referee "Blind" Brady Boone, who hasn't learned the fine art of disqualifying for outside interference yet. Before Hammer can take out Vincent, Stevie Ray hits from behind. A bit here, a bit there, an elbowdrop misses, Hammer ducks a lariat and there's the Slowest Powerslam in the World. Whip, reversal, step aside and miss - belly-to-back suplex by Hammer - Hammer goes for a baseball slide but Ray steps aside and he hits Vincent. Now they're REALLY moving in slow motion. Elbow by Stevie Ray, I guess. Harlem kick of Fear. Double underhook - oh yeah, that's not the Pedigree, it's the slapjack. (3:38) Remember how that Tokyo/Chavo match was good? This was, like, the exact opposite.

DDP T-shirt ad. BANG.

Promotional consideration paid for by Electronic Hot Shot Basketball, Electronic QB Club '99 by Acclaim, America (We Bought Netscape) Online, 1-800-HAIR CLUB, the Clinton unfunny growing nose wristwatch, and XG2 from Acclaim. Where the Big Boys Play, we have NO PROBLEM squeezing twelve promo spots into an hour!

PRINCE IAUKEA v. THE LWO'S JUVENTUD GUERRERA - Prince looks bored on his way to the ring, which either means he's supposed to be a heel in this matchup, or he's pissed that he's become Renegade. Lockup, to the rope, Prince with a chop (woooo!), Juvi chops back (woooo!), back and forth, crisscross (yeah!), Juvi with a flying headscissors, whip, reverse, slide under, chop by Juvi (woooo!), Again (woooo!), to the corner, head meets buckle. Chop (woooo!). Whip into the opposite corner, but Prince puts up an elbow - takedown, lightning legdrop. 1, 2, no. Rear chinlock by the Prince. They're up, to the corner, Iaukea headbutts him in the gut, whip out, reversal, up and over, hot shot by Guerrera, top rope springboard dropkick! Commentators speculate that Iaukea is unhappy because Barry Windham turned NWO last night. Hey Tony, not on this planet, buddy. Juvi with a kick, to the corner, whip out, reversal, reversal, 180, Juvi hits the corner hard, elbow is up, Juvi charges but there's a powerslam from Iaukea. Prince stays on him with barefoot stomping. Snap suplex. 1, 2, kickout. Whip, Juvi tries the Sunset flip but eats a fist instead. Iaukea spreads the legs, puts a boot in the abs, then drops his head in "un foul" region. Wow. Juvi grimaces on the outside. Prince goes outside and continuing the attack. Back in we go, nice suplex by Iaukea for 2. Rear chinlock by Prince, bodyslam. To the top rope, but he jumps into the boot. Juvi comes back with a flurry, there's a 'rana for 2, Prince rolls it for a near fall of his own. Chop from Juvi (woooo!) but Prince drops him over the top rope to the floor. Prince to the top but Juvi crotches him by shaking the rope. Commentators are amusingly talking about Bobby Duncum Sr. talking about how Heenan ripped him off and Heenan trying to call the action to get them off that subject. Frankensteiner off the top rope by Juventud. 1, 2, no. Whip, Iaukea catches him but Juvi counters with a bulldog. REY MYSTERIO, JR. is out to screwjob it up. He trips up Juventud and pushes him to the canvas and Iaukea hits a springboard somersault elbow. 1, 2, 3. (7:06) Replays sponsored by 10-10-321. Call a friend and tell 'em the Prince won, 'cause it'll NEVER happen again, ha! Anyway, that's a little payback for the Juvi-caused screwjob of last night. If you cared. Do you?

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro (Monday?) is brought to you by 10-10-9000!

HORACE (hogan) (with Vincenzo) v. WRATH - Lockup, Horace knee, forearm, forearm, they're trading blows, kicks aplenty by Wrath. Into the corner, he stays on him. Whip into the opposite corner, HOgan steps aside but Wrath isn't hurt. Vincent distracts, Horace takes him outside and follows. They trade blows on the outside. Whip into the guardrail goes Wrath. Horace meets the STEEL steps. Horace rolled back in, Wrath follows and gets a dobule sledge as he comes back in, but Wrath comes back with a KILLER of a sidewalk slam. 1, 2, kickout. Vincent is on the apron, Wrath goes after him because he's not bright. Horace is out and giving chase picking up a chair along the way. Chairshot between the shoulders - referee "Blind" Brady Boone STILL hasn't learned the DQ yet. Wrath back in - feel on the ropes, 1, 2, kickout (did Boone even notice THAT?) Samoan drop by Horace! Horace climbs the corner - top rope - whatever it was, it didn't hit as Wrath rolled away. Flying shoulderblock by Wrath, Meltdown, yeah, 1, 2, 3. (3:36) Vincent hits from behind and HE gets a Meltdown. I think Boone was going to count a pin but Wrath got up. Hey Horace, you think MAYBE you hitched your wagon to that star with just a LITTLE TINY bit of bad timing?

That's it, I'm out of here! Happy Thanksgiving to you 'muricans, and if you're not, well, then FEAR AMERICA, THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! WE ARE THE ONLY SUPERPOWER! USA! USA! USA!

Errr....well anyway. See you next Monday!

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Copyright (C) 1998, 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications