/9 August 1999
QUICK QUOTE: The carnage continues - SPLN 17 1/2 (-5 3/8) - Go Franchise
LAST WEEK: RODMAN'S RAGE - AN OFFER GOLDBERG COULD NOT REFUSE - and some
other clips that don't get words
The WCW logo can read your mind!
TV-PG-DLV ratings box - opening credits - dance as if your very LIFE depended on it - closed captioned logo
Check them FIREWORKS - we must be LIVE from the Idaho (Potato) Centre in Boise ID 9.8.99 - only five days away from WCW Road Wild (sponsored by American Ironhorse) because THIS is WCW Monday Nitro! Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and BOBBY HEENAN. Tony makes no mention of the fact that we've been without him for two weeks, but you get the feeling that he's glad to be back...and he's glad to be back in black. Crowd chants "Cold beer." Schiavone tells us that Sting has handed control of WCW back to World Championship Wrestling - because he's an idiot. J.J. Dillon, meanwhile, has named Dusty Rhodes the head of the Championship Committee - because HE'S an idiot. Heenan sucks up to Rhodes for no apparent reason. We cut to graphics of Hollywood Hogan and Kevin Nash, for they are in the main event of WCW Road Wild (brought to you by American Ironhorse). This is the first Nitro in Idaho! And it's ONLY on TNT!
THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC NORMAL SMILEY & PRINCE IAUKEA & INTERNET DAHLINK LASH LeROUX v. (el) VAMPRIO (candiense) & INSANE CLOWN POSSE (What about Raven?) - Raven had a sitdown with Tony and revealed that he wanted this new group to be called the Dead Pool. I think I'll see how long I can get away WITHOUT calling them that. In fact, why do I have to see ICP "wrestle?" Raven's painted an ankh on his face, just for fun. I have to admit, at least with Vampiro & the ICP out here, I can at least be relieved that Sid probably won't come out and powerbomb everybody in this match. Smiley is back...he's back and black. Smiley has forsaken his "Magic" trunks in favour of some "Smiley" trunks. So he's not Violent J anymore, he's Jack Jeckel? Or are people just reading the back of his jersey? 'cause Shaggy 2 Dope's got the same jersey on. Yep. What's a juggulo anyway? What do you MEAN I spelled it wrong? What do you MEAN you wanted play-by-play of Prince Iaukea's exhilirating ofense? Shaggy's drawers ride a little low, you know. I'm PRETTY sure Black Magic's got better things to do than be in this match - hell, I think even VAMPIRO has better things to do than be in this match! Hardest working man in this match is "Blind" Mickey J. Crowd cheers for Vampiro even though I'm pretty sure he's not supposed to be a face here. HOT TAG TO NORMAN SMILEY! Swoop slam! Swoop slam! Swoop slam! He's doing it in da butt and smackin his bitch up! Not that you'd know it since the camera zooms in on his nostrils. Rampage for the de facto faces ends when Vampiro hits a belly-to-back on LeRoux, then holds him to the mat for a Violent J top rope moonsault (huh) for the pin. (7:22) You know, I really missed Tony. The mere fact that he doesn't know the names of EITHER of the ICP - man, clearly he was doing his homework while he was away.
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, America (ha!) Online, Tinactin Sporting Goods, Motel 6 7/8, Tinactin again - oh, sorry, VIRACTIN, and Armor All Shiny Stuff
THIS is a major onsale announcement! Friday buy tickets for Pensacola, Albany (GA), Baltimore, and Louisville. Saturday buy tickets for THUNDER! in Saginaw, and Tallahassee!
TV Guide covers feature Kimberly, Savage, Sting, and Nash. Hmmm, I thought it was supposed to be ALL the Nitro Girls??
Speaking of the NITRO GIRLS, there they are. Hey look!
Backstage, the Revolution talks to Dusty Rhodes, who testifies, stands in counsel, and filibusters. Later, David Flair walks by, so Chris Benoit puts him in a Crippler crossface. Torrie Wilson makes some screaming noises. Rhodes makes a US title match for tonight. Hmm, Dusty Rhodes booking a match...something sounds funny about that....oh yeah! HOW WILL THEY SCREW OVER BENOIT *TONIGHT*?
PUBLIC ENEMA (with Table) v. CURT HENNIG & BARRY WINDHAM (with Kendall Windham and Bobby Duncum Jnr) - I was all ready to go off on a diatribe about how CRIMINAL the WWF was in totally destroying any chance of making big money with Public Enemy, and thn I saw that they were back to jobber duty over here and how much better does that REALLY make WCW? Sigh. The Rednecks come out to a new theme song which has the thumbprint of Jimmy Hart all over it, and involves the words "Good Ol' Boys" repeated about a hundred times - the sort of thing you'd expect in the WWF in the 80's. In other words, perfect for the WCW of the 90's and the new Millenium. TNT is cutting out on my cable system - blessing in disguise? Public Enemy, forced to play heels last Thursday on THUNDER!, confuse the very small portion of the nation that watches BOTH shows by being forced to play faces tonight. Gee, I wonder if they'll even get over if they keep straddling the fence like THAT. Rock *does* get to at least put Barry through the table before bullrope'n'cowbell clockery takes Grunge down for 3 under Hennig (which, of course, is TOTALLY missed by the director, cameramen, and commentators, and not worth bothering to recue up for a replay). (3:59)
Closed captioning brought to you via Western Union! LITERALLY! Go
answer the door right now, it's a telegram!
"Universal Soldier: the Return" features Goldberg - Goldberg - Goldberg - Goldberg...
THIS portion of the Nitro Cavalcade of squashes and quasi-jobbers is brought to you by STARBURST HARD CANDY!
Randy Savage and Dennis Rodman collide - AND THE REAL WINNERS ARE THE FANS! Saturday - Road Wild! It only takes a second to order PPV - but the memories - ahh, the memories can last a lifetime.
LITTLE JEANIE v. MONA - Jeanie comes out to Barry Windham's most recent non-Redneck theme. That's about all you get out of me tonight for women's matches. Now I'm sure this will be (and is) an exciting, competitive match, BUT! It's still a squash. FILLER. We all know Jeanie don't have a chance in HELL of winning. Besides, watching Mona grapple - mmm - my hands are occupied. I wish she'd put ME in an armbar, then pin my shoulders with her knees, bridge backwards ... err ... sorry. Finish sees Mona fire up an ... INDIAN DEATHLOCK/SURFBOARD CRADLE? Well shut my mouth. (4:35) Just to make this more like a men's match, BRANDI ALEXANDER runs in after the bell, but Mona staves HER off. Madusa's mentioned ZERO times this segment.
TCI local spot hypes Road Wild this Saturday
Here's a Special Video Look at Hogan and Nash - in "sepiavision" and highlighted by TNT cutting out on me a few times. The more they show that powerbomb Nash put on Hogan last week, the weaker it looks - I'm just saying is all
HOGAN'S KID runs backstage to tell Daddy it's time for his interview - he asks Hogan why he didn't wear the stuff that HE'D packed - and shows Hogan some red'n'yellow duds. Oh God. Hogan asks him to hold onto it and takes off. We follow him on his long walk to the entranceway. Just before he gets there, he stops and bounces - and there's a POP right on the nose from -
why, it's BIG
SID VISCOUS and RICK WOOF WOOF come
to help Hogan claim what will no doubt be the highest quarter hour of the
show. Hogan dragged all the way out to the ring. You know, Nash and Sid
really ARE the best of friends. Hmm, here's COLD BEER and
(THIS IS) STING
- both of which would normally have no business
being friends with Hogan,
but nonetheless - there's Hogan calling the people in the ring with him "a
couple of really good friends." Hogan's wearing NWO stuff, by the way.
Hogan says if Nash beats him Saturday he'll quit the business - he'll put
his career on the line. Hogan says hey, how about a big six man tag
tonight? Nash says okay. Sting says hey Nash, why don't YOU put YOUR
career on the line, too! Nash should say no if he has ANY brain at all
since Hogan's already put HIS career on the line for free. Hogan talks
some more. Goldberg borrows the mic and says Steiner has nothing to put
on the line so he can just put his (mute - "ass") on the line. This means
that GOLDBERG'S an idiot, as Rick clearly has the Television title
in some other timeline. Nash makes the first potato joke. Nash says
Saturday is Hogan's last match, and just for kicks, he'll put his career
on the line as well. Oh, but wait, after tonight you won't even make it
to Saturday. Well then....my head hurts. Let's take it one at a time -
six man tag. Okay.
Classic THUNDER! ad - "this forecast calls for PAIN!" Check out Rey AND Juvi with masks on
CHRIS BENOIT v. DAVID SAMMARTINO - ERR, FLAIR (with Torrie Wilson and Asya) for the United States Heavyweight Championship - Is Hogan sharing this quarter hour with Benoit? Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight and Show You What You Probably Already Saw - the ENTIRE Fricking Dusty Speech One More Time - The WHOLE Fricking Segment - to think I let myself ENJOY Rhodes' commentary last Saturday - I KNEW it was only a matter of time before I was sick of him - and NOW we'll probably see him EVERY week....on the other hand, hot DAMN Torrie looks AMAZING! Heenan: "What a BEAUTIFUL hat! Hey, look at the BACK of the hat! WOW! What a HAT!" Good God Almighty - might as well just paint it on her. And now NICK PATRICK is out to tell CHARLES ROBINSON he's no longer needed to officiate this match. Robinson skulks off and Flair looks like a deer caught in the headlights - only THIS week, he's SUPPOSED to have that look. Benoit swings, and David quickly ducks out of the ring and shouts. Before he can stay out for the countout, though, PERRY SATURN & DEAN MALENKO & SHANE DOUGLAS (or, as Tony calls it, only "Shane Douglas") do a little lumberjack run in and put Flair back in the ring. Flair, in the corner, begs off
and offers the hand of friendship(tm). Crowd makes noise
in a big way. Benoit takes the hand, and stomps him. Off the ropes -
Flair holds on and goes to the floor again. Malenko and Saturn stand on
either side of Flair until he's back in the ring - staring down Benoit.
Gutshot, knife-edge chop that sends David to the mat. Snap suplex. Benoit
with an open-handed slap - and another. Backbreaker across the knee.
Benoit off the ropes - lightning elbowdrop. Benoit standing over Flair
and appealing to the crowd. Atomic drop. Gunshot chop. Scoop - and a
slam. Thumb 'cross the throat! (khris) KANYON & TRIPPA B
it to the ring as Benoit climbs to the top - but he hits the swandive
headbutt as Douglas, Malenko and Saturn hold off the interference. 1, 2,
3!!! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a NEW United States Heavyweight
Champion! (4:01) DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE *does*
make it into the ring and
manages a quasi-uranage on Benoit before he's run off. The announcement
is made - Chris Benoit holds the belt over his head. "Page! You want
this belt? Come and get it - no DQ! Sturgis! The Crippler will
TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME kick your (mute)!" Now I'm not the kind of
guy to look for the grey cloud around this silver lining, but does anybody
else have an uneasy feeling that Benoit is getting a token run to shut up
the Internet smarts who fawn all over him - and will be losing this belt
Saturday to that guy who used to live next door to Eric Bischoff? Oh,
sorry, you weren't thinking of that now.
Promotional consideration paid for by David (Flair) sunflower seeds, Moen faucets, Toaster Breaks Pizza from Hot Pockets, Viractin cold sore fun gel, America (ha!) Online, and Naya
Let Us Take You Back To Moments Ago - Or As I Like To Refer To It, Two Paragraphs Ago - Dusty Rhodes, Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, Shane Douglas - these are the men to thank. Oh, and Chris Benoit, I guess.
Hey, look! It's the Nitro Girls! Chae's bisexual, you know. She told me during the Nitro Girls PPV. She's cool with that. Is Tony STILL talking?
GENE O. works tonight! What is a "Treasure Value" anyway? A mispronunciation? He brings out RANDY SAVAGE, who once again comes out alone. Crowd duly gives him the Godfather treatment - you know, boo him until he brings out the ho's. *I'M* just hoping he brings out NWO Sting as the driver of the Hummer! Savage climbs the ropes even though I seem to recall he's a heel. I'm guessing George is out getting another cup size. Savage says after he gets rid of Rodman Saturday, George will be back. Savage gives Nash the brushoff, Vicious (who's been holding Nash's hand) the brushoff, and Hogan and Rodman ... the
err....brushoff. Savage says "ass" and gets muted. Rodman promises
nothing less than DEATH for Rodman. Ooh yeah. Okerlund presses for the
surprise announcement, once again, and Savage says Rodman is crap - I
don't think that's the surprise. You know, I'm getting the feeling we're
NOT gonna get that Hummer driver after all.
Much to my consternation, Kevin Nash appears in a "Monster Truck Madness 64" ad
VERY old wcw.com spot
Goldberg - Rick Steiner - American Ironhorse - Road Wild - blah
GENTLEMAN CHRIS ADAMS & DAVE TAYLOR v. REY REY & EDDIE GUERRERO - In a SHOCKING bit of logic, Adams reveals on his way to the ring that he hates America and he hates Americans, and so naturally he's good chums with Taylor. Say, when WAS the last time that Cruiserweight title was defended? Who's had the most recent title match - Mysterio or Gillberg? Crowd chants "USA" to show support for the Mexicans. Guerrero and Taylor start. Rey is wearing his prison outfit, by the way, and comes out to Konnan's "Psycho." If Konnan were REALLY in trouble, I guess Rey would go back to his Morris Day-influenced music. No contact here, we're just playing "cheer/boo" with the fans. To the ropes, nothing, clean break. Taylor says "please boo me" and the fans comply. Lockup, snapmare by Taylor, flying headscissors, again, dropkick, Taylor deserves accolades but gets boos. Euro uppercut. Again. Off the ropes, takes him up, Guerrero reverses into a flying headscissors of his own. Taylor backs off and tags in Adams. Rey asks for a tag, and Eddie complies. Lockup, to the ropes, Adams shoves him ALL the way across the ring. Lockup, side headlock by Adams, Rey power out, shoulderblock from Adams, running the ropes, catching a jumping Rey into a powerslam for 2. Side suplex. Top rope splash finds nobody. Rey with the quebrada. Forearm - whip is reversed, Adams stumbles but still gets up and HITS THE SUPERKICK! 1, 2, Eddie saves. Adams is ROBBED! Adams slides Rey out under the bottom rope to the outside, where Taylor takes the flag to Rey. Crowd is boisterous. Adams punching away - whip into the opposite corner - Rey falls. Catapult into the unfriendly corner. Tag to Taylor. Elbow to the back of the head. Euro uppercut. Into the corner, but Rey puts up an elbow to take out Adams, then puts up the boots on a charging Taylor - again - tumblin' over and makes the hot tag! Eddie's a house on fire! Rey with a pointless springboard into a punch. Eddie catapults Rey onto Taylor, then assists with a broncobuster onto Adams. Eddie, meanwhile, hits a pescado (completely missed by the cameraman) onto Taylor.
Rey on the top
rope - Frankensteiner! Frog splash - 1, 2, 3. (6:36) Almost
immediately, (el) VAMPIRO (canadiense)
& INSANE CLOWN POSSE are out to
strike against Guerrero and Mysterio - here comes (billy) KIDMAN to even
things up - the tide is turned, let's play "Psycho" one more time. Hey,
wouldn't Kidman like a shot at that title? Naw?
Another Nash monster truck appearance
Sting - Sid Vicious - A MONUMENTAL COLLISION - and when you think monumental collisions, think American Ironhorse motorcycles! Road Wild!
Gene O. welcomes the WEST TEJAS REDNECKS to the ring - Hennig at least seems to know all the words to "Good Ol' Boys" if no one else does. Hennig thanks the fans in Japan and Germany for making their record double platinum. Hennig says later tonight they'll be in concert to debut "Good Ol' Boys" despite the fact that we've already heard it three times tonight. Gene says that the Rednecks aren't in concert tonight, but Chad Brock is. Did the crowd boo when Okerlund said Brock was performing tonight? Ha! Hennig promises to kick Brock's fat (mute) off the stage, and maybe I'm just WISHING the crowd was *cheering*. "When we don't take the stage, someone pays the price!" Hennig is such THE MAN that I am *almost* looking forward to the Brock segment, just so I can see what Hennig does. Somebody should give Hennig a raise. Hell, I'LL do it!
This portion of Nitro is brought to you by Real. Comfortable. Jeans. Wrangler! Worn by Rednecks!
Well shut my mouth, Nash wants me to play Monster Trucks on my N64 again
Jimmy Barron does the Cheap Bastard Road Report from 1-800-CALL-ATT. In a brilliant move, Barron hypes - A TAPED THUNDER! "Dude" count - six.
(billy) KIDMAN v. DISCO INFERNO - Schiavone gives a shout out to Hudson and finally mentions that he took a li'l vacation. Heenan says HE heard that when Schiavone heard Hudson was injured, Tony started giggling like a schoolgirl. Well, I believe I may have just paraphrased there. Anyway, Hudson will be back Saturday for that show nobody watches nor recaps for WrestleLine.
Heenan says he's never heard of Hogan putting his
career on the line - I seem to recall him doing that against Flair...oh
well. Kidman ducks and hits a dropkick. There's an armdrag. Holding on
for an armbar. Disco punches, punches, powers out - here's a
counter/reversal sequence that ends with Kidman hitting a headscissors
takeover. Into the opposite corner - up and over goes Kidman. Block,
punch, flying headscissors takeover. Kidman to the side headlock - Disco
grabs the hair - off the ropes, shoulderblock from Kidman. Off the ropes,
Disco takes Kidman over the top rope to the floor. Disco does the
"hittin' a homerun" pantomime. Disco outside now, taking Kidman's head to
the STEEL steps. Disco back in to pose. Disco outside again, Kidman
whipped into the barricade. Disco back in and back to posing. Kidman
pulled in by his hair. Side Russian legsweep - second rope forearmdrop
but Kidman gets his foot on the bottom rope. Disco to the illegal choke.
Whip into the opposite corner - Kidman lands hard. Snapmare takeover into
a rear chinlock. Kidman elbows out but Disco goes to the eyes. Whip into
the opposite corner is reversed, Kidman off the ropes with a bulldog. Whip
is reversed when everybody's up - swinging neckbreaker! Disco struttin'.
Cover - too late. Disco throws Kidman through the ropes and poses to the
crowd while referee "Blind" Scott Dickenson lays on the count. Now Disco
outside - now Kidman in the front row after being taken over the
barricade. I keep hearing we'll see Disco's former tag team partner
tonight - I wonder...In the ring, snapmares him over, to the rear chinlock
again. Kidman stuggling to get out - fans coming alive. Jawbreaker breaks
the hold. Off the ropes, reversal, sunset flip - Disco stops it, no he
falls - 1, 2, no. Disco with a NASTY hot shot that looked like it REALLY
hurt - but still Kidman's out at 2. Kidman flips up and out - "short
powerbomb" but both men are down. Disco up first. Kidman with
Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine. Off the ropes, reversal, Kidman pulls
out a dropkick. There's a bulldog - but only 2. Off the ropes, head down
- Disco catches him in a piledriver. Disco s-l-o-w-l-y gets over for a
cover - Kidman rolls the shoulder at 2. Disco tries for a powerbomb - YOU
CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN!! Disco laid in the corner - but before Kidman can
go for the shooting star press, (el)
VAMPIRO (canadiense) & INSANE CLOWN
POSSE & WHAT ABOUT RAVEN? are all out
(DQ 8:56) and
wailing away on Kidman
following a particularly nasty Super Nail in the Coffin from the second
rope. Disco tries to help out and is quickly quashed. EDDIE GUERRERO &
REY REY come out to even things up and the bad
guys clear out. "Eddie"
chant. Disco actually extends his hand, then thinks better of it and
takes off, leaving the other three REALLY confused. Ha! You go, Disco!
The Tough Actin' Replay of the week is brought to you by Tough Actin'
Hogan - Nash - Road Wild! - Road Wild! - Road Wild! - SATURDAY! American Ironhorse!
The Dynamic Duo talk while the TV-PG-DLV ratings box reappears
again Heenan goes with the "first time career on the line" nonsense. Let
Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight where Hogan Makes Noise and Sets Up a
Match for Later Tonight. Heenan says BOTH men are stupid for putting
their careers on the line. My man, Heenan.
Hey hey! Nash plays the Nintendo!
Buff Bagwell! The Cat! Surely such a matchup can only be considered PAY-PER-VIEW CALIBRE!
BUFF IS THE STUFF v. SCOTT "FLASH" NORTON - Have I pointed out enough times that Buff's wearing his NWO top hat with a band blocking out the NWO logo? Bagwell promises the Cat will go down on Saturday. Whew, I was worried. Holy crap, Norton's back! Buff does his posing routine - Norton shoves him into the corner. I'll pay either of these guys a THOUSAND dollars to remember they were tag team partners. Side headlock, Bagwell powers out, Norton knocks him down. Short clothesline, Norton holds onto his hand, picks him up, knocks him down again. Third time doesn't work as Buff ducks, hits a dropkick, another to knock him down - flying forearm, and again, and a clothesline to take him outside. Bagwell poses in the corner - Norton climbs back in the ring. Lockup, headbutt from Norton. Chop from Norton. Back elbow. Chop (woooo!), off the ropes, big boot is caught, Bagwell with a Dragonscrew leg whip and a swinging neckbreaker. Time for the ten punch count along - but Norton stops it halfway through and hits snake eyes on him. There's the shoulderbreaker! God only knows why Norton doesn't pin him here - well, while Bagwell stays in the ropes, we gave pon the sight of THREE TIME WORLD KARATE CHAMPION AND THE GODFATHER OF SOUL THE CAT & SONNY ONOO making their way down from the entryway. Norton has a *tiny* NWO logo on his back. It's sad - Norton *should* win but he can't because Buff is (ha) the stuff. Anyway, Bagwell elbows out of this submission hold - everybody's off the ropes, and Bagwell puts his face to the mat. Norton pokes the eyes but Bagwell reverses the whip, hip toss, hiptoss, crossbodyblock - 1, 2, Cat pulls referee "Blind" Billy Silverman out of the ring and argues while Onoo gets up on the apron and waffles Bagwell with his briefcase. Silveman back in as Norton covers - 1, 2, Buff KICKS OUT? Man, nuts to this. Somewhere in here Norton clotheslines Cat and Buff blockbusters Onoo. (DQ 5:04) Schiavone shocks me by bringing up the Cat/Norton feud of a while back. Nice try, Tony, but didn't you get the thousand bucks from me!
10-10-321 provides the replay of this confusion.
Sting carries the card - grrrrrrowwwlllll
CHAD BROCK sings us a song. Saaay - he *is* kinda fat! During the bridge, he pulls a DJ Ran and asks "somebody" to "scream." Very odd. Finally something interesting as we see CURT HENNIG looking on from offstage. Now they're nose to nose - and now they're brawling! The rest of the REDNEX are out to break it up - Brock gets some backup from the REVOLUTION - yeah, THOSE guys look like they listen to country. Dare we dream or an eventual Hennig/Brock matchup? By way of reference, Megadeth pulled a shocking *2.1* in their quarter hour. We'll see how THIS one does...
Nash - Hogan - Road Wild - Saturday - American Ironhorse
KISS perform live in two weeks - oh calm down
Hey, look! Three of the Nitro Girls! There's Spice! And there's ... ummm.... well, I forgot to look at the other two. Sorry.
Harlem Heat takes on Bigelow and Kanyon for the titles Saturday at Road American Ironhorse Wild!
(khris) KANYON (with Trippa B & Diamond Dallas Page) v.
(with Stevie Ray) - We last saw this match 21 June
- yup. Referee "Blind"
Scott Dickenson sends Bigelow and Page to the back, but Ray can stay.
Yeah, THAT'S equitable. Booker T. should be the World Heavyweight
Champion, by the way. Lockup, arm wringer by Kanyon, reversal by Booker
T., knee to the gut, repeat, repeat, off the ropes, back elbow. Forearm,
into the corner, Kanyon gets a foot up - but T. comes out with a kick.
Kanyon taken over the top rope to the mat. Stevie Ray gets in a couple
licks while T. talks to Dickenson - you know, T. wasn't approving of
tactics like that when they were breaking up. Oh well. Axe kick.
Cover, 2. Knife-edge chop. Off the ropes, dropkick finds nothin'.
Kanyon with a gutshot, swinging ... fisherman ... neckbreaker thing for 2.
Headlock by Kanyon - crowd comes alive and T. gets out. Off the ropes,
facelock by Kanyon into a vertical suplex for 2. Off the ropes, T. ducks
and hits a flying jalapeno. Kanyon manages to rake the face when he tries
to followup. T. absorbs the punches and hits the roundhouse kick.
There's a spinebuster, there's a running clothesline, another, and
Dickenson ends up between them for the final collision. Now we see that
PAGE & BIGELOW
back out and waffling Ray with the title belt. Kanyon
does the same to Booker T. when he turns to his brother. Flatliner! It's
over. 1, 2, 3. (4:34)
Hmm, they got seventeen minutes in June. Of
course, THAT one was a screwjob too.
Give me Nash shilling the videogame one more time - thank you
THIS portion of Monday Nitro LIVE is brought to you by Wendy's French Onion Chicken Grill Sandwich!
It is officially "shank of the evening" time as Gene O. brings out DENNIS RODWORM. I'm as surprised as you are that they managed to get him to come out to Boise. The scent of Voodoo Chili hangs heavy in the air as Rodman, showing disdain for practically everything, saunters out to the ring. I believe he's wearing his "Huggy Bear" ensemble. Dennis says he loves Ida-HO, and Gorgeous George is actually after HIM. I *really* want some drunk bikers to throw some really heavy shit at Rodman. Rodman gets muted on "asshole" and something else, but not on "bitch." I know you're dying to know this stuff. Gene quickly takes back the mic as objects start to fill the ring. Before that gets too far, RANDY SAVAGE is out - and Rodman is outside the ring. Yeah, 'cause Rodman's a big chicken. DOUG DELLINGER, SECURITY & ASSORTED OFFICERS provide a human buffer. Tony almost forgets to mention one last time that Rodman will be on the Tonight Show tomorrow night.
BIG POOCHIE & SID VISCOUS & RICK
WOOF WOOF v. AD BREAK - Nash and
partners come out together to "Theme from Wolfpack" - hey, how come
Steiner doesn't beat up *Schiavone*, hmmm? Nash is working hard to annoy
me with his deliberately annoying faces.
Good Lord, Nash hypes the N64 Monster Truck video game ONE MORE TIME
BIG POOCHIE & SID VISCOUS & RICK WOOF WOOF v. (THIS IS) STING & COLD BEER & YOU KNOW WHO - Of course, the GOOD guys all get *separate* entrances. Whatever. Yet again, Tony tells us that Sting has given control of WCW back to WCW. Hell, give yourself a title shot at least! Hey, maybe *I* could be President of WCW. Write them an email for me, wouldja? Thanks. I'm so sad that Goldberg comes out to "Crush 'Em" because you can't start a proper chant to it. Somebody stop him - Hogan comes out to "American Made." He's not wearing red and yellow, too, is he? Yep. Tony has an orgasm. "It's HULK again!" I *believe* the fans were slightly louder for Norman Smiley's Big Wiggle, by way of pop comparison. Meanwhile, Rick Scaia is one drink away from REALLY seriously marking out and writing it down for you to laugh at. Hogan wants Nash but Steiner's gonna start for his team. Hogan and Steiner start - off the ropes, Steiner knocked down. He's not limping THAT much. Lockup, side headlock from Steiner. Hogan power out, Steiner ducks, but not the big boot. Elbowdrop, 2, 3, punches in punches. Steiner pokes the eyes and puts him in the corner - Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine, punch, punch, windup, punch, Sid down with one punch, Nash down with one punch, Sid punched again, dobule noggin knocker on Steiner and Sid, ten punch countalong on Nash. Hogan doesn't bite him, 'cause he's HULK. Nash goes down and all three of them take a powder on the outside.
Crowd chants "Cold beer" but they disguise it.
Steiner back in - Hogan points to Goldberg and the crowd gets twice as
loud. Tag to Goldberg. Nash is in for his team. Lockup, no, kneelift
from Nash. Punching away. Off the ropes, Goldberg ducks, and hits a
missile shoulderblock (a la Blackman, I needn't remind you). Suplex!
Steiner attacks Goldberg from behind to turn the tide - Nash tags Sid.
Clubbin' forearm. Right. Off the ropes, Goldberg ducks - scoop - and a
slam! Arm wringer - tag to Sting. Kick, right, into the corner, whip
into the opposite corner is reversed, Sting pounding on him, Stinger
splash! Nash climbs over the top rop to come in, but Sting crotches him
as he tries to come in. Sting climbs to the top rope - but Sid puts up
the knees. Tag to Nash. Sidewalk slam. 1, 2, no. Elbow to the back of
the head. Crowd is proud and loud. Scoop - on the shoulder - Sting
trying to fight it - as Steiner's removed the turnbuckle and Nash wants
Snake Eyes. But referee "Blind" Johnny Boone stands between them and
won't allow it. Finally Sting works his way free - so he goes ahead and
pushes Nash into Boone, who promptly falls. Stinger splash! And again!
Whip into the opposite corner - and a third Stinger splash! But Steiner's
brought a chair into the ring in the meantime - chair to Sting's back -
but Goldberg spears Steiner. Sid in to get the chair, wahck on Goldberg
- but Hogan wrests the chair from Sid and whacks him, then whacks Nash.
Sting puts Nash in the Sharpshooter and while Hogan swings the chair at
anybody who tries to interfere, referee SCOTT DICKENSON makes his
the ring. Nash fails to answer when he asks him if he gives up - so he
rings the bell (8:09)
and everybody goes home happy. Well, most
everybody. Will Saturday mark the final end of Hulkamania? Find out -